Here I go again...
[email protected]
Yikes... I just can't get it into me to let my kids make their own choices. Here is what I believe.. "There is nothing that you cannot be or do or have. And your work hereyour lifetime careeris to seek joy"
I believe that my children know how to find their own joy. It's just that VIDEO GAMES are so much a part of that joy. I worry, worry, worry about them playing as much as they do and want to. My 8 year old son has trouble even making eye contact with us after a full day of video games. How do I really let this go for once and for all?
I know that playing video games brings my kids joy. They also love to go on fieldtrips, play outside with friends, play inside with friends, but their number one, hands down, all time favorite adventure is playing video games. Given the choice, that's really what they will do all day, even when presented with many other options.
What is it about me that I need to let go of?
Thanks for all your replies. Even the ones I don't want to hear...but need to :>
I believe that my children know how to find their own joy. It's just that VIDEO GAMES are so much a part of that joy. I worry, worry, worry about them playing as much as they do and want to. My 8 year old son has trouble even making eye contact with us after a full day of video games. How do I really let this go for once and for all?
I know that playing video games brings my kids joy. They also love to go on fieldtrips, play outside with friends, play inside with friends, but their number one, hands down, all time favorite adventure is playing video games. Given the choice, that's really what they will do all day, even when presented with many other options.
What is it about me that I need to let go of?
Thanks for all your replies. Even the ones I don't want to hear...but need to :>
Tirra-Olufemi
Peace to you,
You know I am one who feels that sometimes I have to call for no technology time. I just have to. When technology (wii, ds, computer, tv) begins to make my children act beastly and I am breaking up one fight after the other the technology is going off.
I also did not sign up for technology to take over spending time with my kids. So when I find that our person to person time is being eclipsed I will call no technology time. They can do whatever they want in that time.
Usually they finally tune into their body and realize that they are hungry, need to use the bathroom and then they will actually begin to talk to one another.
I have often thought that this technique may be a bit out of line with unschooling philosophy but in my own experience i have had times when i have spent too much time doing something...like surfing the net or writing e-mail and time has passed and nothing has gotten done and i need to change what i am doing totally.
I find that there are other choices in the world and am grateful that have finally pulled myself away to even realize this.
My older son used to spend massive time but since getting time away from technology he is more balanced. I don't even really have to call for down time for him. He simply takes it and has other interests that he pursues passionately.
My younger son is 6 and is just like my older son used to be. He get drawn in to technology and will stay there hour after hour after hour....as a responsible mother...i have to get him up and moving after a while. even if that means we go to the park or to the science museum. I seek to educate my children and help them understand that technology cannot cause us to get tuned out from the world.
but...again it is about balance...i need it and so do they. i impose very few limits because i will get us up and going to the Y or park or wherever to get us up and doing other things besides engaging in technology everyday.
This is what works for me. I will say that I don't sweat it. I don't worry. I did worry more with the first son but eventually decided that worry is a waste of time. My kids love being on the move so I schedule fieldtrips and go other places and go play with friends to create more balance.
In unschooling I feel that it is all about the child staying in touch with his/her own innate wisdom. I just don't have much to teach my kids and find that they learn just fine if I allow it. However, as a leader in this family I will offer guidance especially if I see that there is some negative effect.
An 8 year old who can't make eye contact due to a game will make me seek to connect with him more. I might invite him to cook with me or to read with me or to go outside with me or garden with me. I will extend invitations to give them choices. I find that my kids take me up on it. That way the option is always there to stay but there is another option to help them shift their energy.
Hope I even make sense.
Tirra
"Know Thyself." Oracles of Delphi
Do you really know yourself or do you only know what you have been conditioned to believe about yourself?
I am a Goddess: Body, Mind, Spirit!
www.goddess-body-mind-spirit.com
________________________________
From: "cookiesforthree@..." <cookiesforthree@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sun, December 27, 2009 12:25:02 PM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Here I go again...
Yikes... I just can't get it into me to let my kids make their own choices. Here is what I believe.. "There is nothing that you cannot be or do or have. And your work here—your lifetime career—is to seek joy"
I believe that my children know how to find their own joy. It's just that VIDEO GAMES are so much a part of that joy. I worry, worry, worry about them playing as much as they do and want to. My 8 year old son has trouble even making eye contact with us after a full day of video games. How do I really let this go for once and for all?
I know that playing video games brings my kids joy. They also love to go on fieldtrips, play outside with friends, play inside with friends, but their number one, hands down, all time favorite adventure is playing video games. Given the choice, that's really what they will do all day, even when presented with many other options.
What is it about me that I need to let go of?
Thanks for all your replies. Even the ones I don't want to hear...but need to :>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
You know I am one who feels that sometimes I have to call for no technology time. I just have to. When technology (wii, ds, computer, tv) begins to make my children act beastly and I am breaking up one fight after the other the technology is going off.
I also did not sign up for technology to take over spending time with my kids. So when I find that our person to person time is being eclipsed I will call no technology time. They can do whatever they want in that time.
Usually they finally tune into their body and realize that they are hungry, need to use the bathroom and then they will actually begin to talk to one another.
I have often thought that this technique may be a bit out of line with unschooling philosophy but in my own experience i have had times when i have spent too much time doing something...like surfing the net or writing e-mail and time has passed and nothing has gotten done and i need to change what i am doing totally.
I find that there are other choices in the world and am grateful that have finally pulled myself away to even realize this.
My older son used to spend massive time but since getting time away from technology he is more balanced. I don't even really have to call for down time for him. He simply takes it and has other interests that he pursues passionately.
My younger son is 6 and is just like my older son used to be. He get drawn in to technology and will stay there hour after hour after hour....as a responsible mother...i have to get him up and moving after a while. even if that means we go to the park or to the science museum. I seek to educate my children and help them understand that technology cannot cause us to get tuned out from the world.
but...again it is about balance...i need it and so do they. i impose very few limits because i will get us up and going to the Y or park or wherever to get us up and doing other things besides engaging in technology everyday.
This is what works for me. I will say that I don't sweat it. I don't worry. I did worry more with the first son but eventually decided that worry is a waste of time. My kids love being on the move so I schedule fieldtrips and go other places and go play with friends to create more balance.
In unschooling I feel that it is all about the child staying in touch with his/her own innate wisdom. I just don't have much to teach my kids and find that they learn just fine if I allow it. However, as a leader in this family I will offer guidance especially if I see that there is some negative effect.
An 8 year old who can't make eye contact due to a game will make me seek to connect with him more. I might invite him to cook with me or to read with me or to go outside with me or garden with me. I will extend invitations to give them choices. I find that my kids take me up on it. That way the option is always there to stay but there is another option to help them shift their energy.
Hope I even make sense.
Tirra
"Know Thyself." Oracles of Delphi
Do you really know yourself or do you only know what you have been conditioned to believe about yourself?
I am a Goddess: Body, Mind, Spirit!
www.goddess-body-mind-spirit.com
________________________________
From: "cookiesforthree@..." <cookiesforthree@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sun, December 27, 2009 12:25:02 PM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Here I go again...
Yikes... I just can't get it into me to let my kids make their own choices. Here is what I believe.. "There is nothing that you cannot be or do or have. And your work here—your lifetime career—is to seek joy"
I believe that my children know how to find their own joy. It's just that VIDEO GAMES are so much a part of that joy. I worry, worry, worry about them playing as much as they do and want to. My 8 year old son has trouble even making eye contact with us after a full day of video games. How do I really let this go for once and for all?
I know that playing video games brings my kids joy. They also love to go on fieldtrips, play outside with friends, play inside with friends, but their number one, hands down, all time favorite adventure is playing video games. Given the choice, that's really what they will do all day, even when presented with many other options.
What is it about me that I need to let go of?
Thanks for all your replies. Even the ones I don't want to hear...but need to :>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
My son MD loves video games and plays a lot of it since he was a little over 4 and a half
I always say he learned to read playing Roblox on line.
He is 7 and a half years old.
This Summer he started playing basketball a lot with his dad. He had played some the year before and liked it but no major passion for it.
This Summer he really got into it. This is something that he does with dad and dad is a big time basketball guy. He always played and has even been a coach so he loves it.
THey go many times a week to play in the club now that there is too much snow to play many times a day at home.
Dad is not a video games type o guy and even thou he sits there to watch him play many times it is not the same as basketball.
For Christmas MD got 3 games he really wanted to get and spent most o the day playing his games.
Brian turned to me on Christmas day and said that MD would be playing nothing but video games , meaning that he would not want to go play basketbal with him anymore for a while until the newness of the video games wore off.
I told him that maybe but that I think MD would still want to go play with him.
So yesterday after Brian was done with chores late morning he asked MD if he wanted to go play basketball with him ( that is a normal thing for them to do ). MD got ready in 5 minutes and was happy to go with dad not only play basketball but run some erands. He took his Nintento DS with one new game to play while in the car and running erands.
Because MD has NEVER been limited in his video game playing I think is much easier for him to let go now.
Brian was fearful that video games were going to keep MD from basketbal but his fears did not materialized.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I always say he learned to read playing Roblox on line.
He is 7 and a half years old.
This Summer he started playing basketball a lot with his dad. He had played some the year before and liked it but no major passion for it.
This Summer he really got into it. This is something that he does with dad and dad is a big time basketball guy. He always played and has even been a coach so he loves it.
THey go many times a week to play in the club now that there is too much snow to play many times a day at home.
Dad is not a video games type o guy and even thou he sits there to watch him play many times it is not the same as basketball.
For Christmas MD got 3 games he really wanted to get and spent most o the day playing his games.
Brian turned to me on Christmas day and said that MD would be playing nothing but video games , meaning that he would not want to go play basketbal with him anymore for a while until the newness of the video games wore off.
I told him that maybe but that I think MD would still want to go play with him.
So yesterday after Brian was done with chores late morning he asked MD if he wanted to go play basketball with him ( that is a normal thing for them to do ). MD got ready in 5 minutes and was happy to go with dad not only play basketball but run some erands. He took his Nintento DS with one new game to play while in the car and running erands.
Because MD has NEVER been limited in his video game playing I think is much easier for him to let go now.
Brian was fearful that video games were going to keep MD from basketbal but his fears did not materialized.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-Here is what I believe.. "There is nothing that you cannot be or do
or have. And your work here�your lifetime career�is to seek joy" -=-
You have quotes around it as though it's someone else's words, but I
want to address the stated belief.
The second half I don't mind, except "career." Why is there "a
career" separate from being?
I don't believe "There is nothing that you cannot be or do or have."
I believe that is dangerous mythology at best and cruel nonsense at
worst.
I cannot be anyone but myself. If anyone encourages me to want to
"be" anything other than what I am, then what's wrong with me? Or by
"be" is what is meant "a gold medal olympic champion"? Do you think
anyone can be a gold medallist? Tell that to all the noted and
recorded silver and bronze medallists over the years. Can anyone be
president? John McCain? Hilary Clinton? Hell, even John Kennedy
couldn't be president once he'd been shot by a nutcase.
If people are made promises by people who don't have the power to
deliver those things, it's a setup for disappointment, frustration and
mistrust. Why should people "seek joy" as though it's lost or has to
be hunted down? People can find and share joy. They can learn to
recognize or induce or inspire joy.
But to video games:
-=-My 8 year old son has trouble even making eye contact with us after
a full day of video games. How do I really let this go for once and
for all?-=-
Is he tired? Probably. Hungry? Do you need to make eye contact
with him for some particular reason? During that full day of games,
were you nearby, watching him play? Encouraging him and making sure
he was comfortable and had something to drink?
Did you make him stop playing and then he had trouble making eye
contact? Many people blame the end of a video gaming session on the
game itself, but maybe the kids stopped because parents made them, or
someone else talked them out of the TV, or because they were really
tired or hungry or sore or sleepy.
-=-I know that playing video games brings my kids joy. They also love
to go on fieldtrips, play outside with friends, play inside with
friends, but their number one, hands down, all time favorite adventure
is playing video games. Given the choice, that's really what they will
do all day, even when presented with many other options.-=-
Although my kids' lives have always had a lot of fun, and joy, what my
goal was that they learn. And they have unquestionably learned from
playing video games, from watching videos, from playing board games
and talking to friends and digging holes in the back yard. But what
they learn when parents try to manage their time, and try to make them
feel bad about their choices, is probably not what you want them to be
learning.
Instead of "seeking" your joy in your imagined visions of what your
life with your children should be, maybe practice making eye contact
with what it actually is! Seriously. In each moment, there is
probably learning and joy, and your nervousness will put a damper on
that. Share the positive feelings they're having!
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
or have. And your work here�your lifetime career�is to seek joy" -=-
You have quotes around it as though it's someone else's words, but I
want to address the stated belief.
The second half I don't mind, except "career." Why is there "a
career" separate from being?
I don't believe "There is nothing that you cannot be or do or have."
I believe that is dangerous mythology at best and cruel nonsense at
worst.
I cannot be anyone but myself. If anyone encourages me to want to
"be" anything other than what I am, then what's wrong with me? Or by
"be" is what is meant "a gold medal olympic champion"? Do you think
anyone can be a gold medallist? Tell that to all the noted and
recorded silver and bronze medallists over the years. Can anyone be
president? John McCain? Hilary Clinton? Hell, even John Kennedy
couldn't be president once he'd been shot by a nutcase.
If people are made promises by people who don't have the power to
deliver those things, it's a setup for disappointment, frustration and
mistrust. Why should people "seek joy" as though it's lost or has to
be hunted down? People can find and share joy. They can learn to
recognize or induce or inspire joy.
But to video games:
-=-My 8 year old son has trouble even making eye contact with us after
a full day of video games. How do I really let this go for once and
for all?-=-
Is he tired? Probably. Hungry? Do you need to make eye contact
with him for some particular reason? During that full day of games,
were you nearby, watching him play? Encouraging him and making sure
he was comfortable and had something to drink?
Did you make him stop playing and then he had trouble making eye
contact? Many people blame the end of a video gaming session on the
game itself, but maybe the kids stopped because parents made them, or
someone else talked them out of the TV, or because they were really
tired or hungry or sore or sleepy.
-=-I know that playing video games brings my kids joy. They also love
to go on fieldtrips, play outside with friends, play inside with
friends, but their number one, hands down, all time favorite adventure
is playing video games. Given the choice, that's really what they will
do all day, even when presented with many other options.-=-
Although my kids' lives have always had a lot of fun, and joy, what my
goal was that they learn. And they have unquestionably learned from
playing video games, from watching videos, from playing board games
and talking to friends and digging holes in the back yard. But what
they learn when parents try to manage their time, and try to make them
feel bad about their choices, is probably not what you want them to be
learning.
Instead of "seeking" your joy in your imagined visions of what your
life with your children should be, maybe practice making eye contact
with what it actually is! Seriously. In each moment, there is
probably learning and joy, and your nervousness will put a damper on
that. Share the positive feelings they're having!
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=- I am one who feels that sometimes I have to call for no technology
time. I just have to.-=-
Please rephrase when you come to a "have to" in this forum. Choices!
Moms have a badillion choices. Always they should have at least two.
<G>
http://sandradodd.com/haveto
http://sandradodd.com/choices
"Have to" means "had no choice." That's a dangerous thought to have
or to pass on.
-=-When technology (wii, ds, computer, tv) begins to make my children
act beastly and I am breaking up one fight after the other the
technology is going off.-=-
My sister said that after her kids had played at another house, years
ago, where there was a Sega Genesis system. She told me (with her
accustomed dramatic feeling) that her kids would NEVER have a video
game system, because they fought over it everytime they were around
one and she wasn't going to spend $200 on that. I asked her if she
would rather spend that much money on something not worth fighting
over. If they're fighting over it, it must be good! Rather than
take it away, maybe help them find ways to get along in the presence
of something that absorbing and wonderful.
-=-I also did not sign up for technology to take over spending time
with my kids.-=-
Are you suggesting other families did?
-=- So when I find that our person to person time is being eclipsed I
will call no technology time. They can do whatever they want in that
time.-=-
If you make them turn off the games or computers because you miss
being with them, does that make them want to be with you? If they can
do whatever they want in that time, you mean they don't have to hang
out with you? But they can't use the TV or computer? How old are
they again?
-=- in my own experience i have had times when i have spent too much
time doing something...like surfing the net or writing e-mail and time
has passed and nothing has gotten done and i need to change what i am
doing totally.-=-
Who decides for you?
-=-My older son used to spend massive time but since getting time away
from technology he is more balanced. I don't even really have to call
for down time for him. He simply takes it and has other interests that
he pursues passionately.-=-
Ah. So because he does other things, you're taking credit for his
decision? You don't have to now, but at one point you did.
Had you not "called for no technology time" you probably would have
seen (as many others her have) that the children would have done that
on their own. Then you could have been more confident about other
decisions they would make in the future, and in their natural ability
to make good choices without moms stepping in and putting limits on
them.
He will never have credit for being "more balanced" if you feel it was
your doing.
It's one of the very best things about a child learning to read
without "being taught." If the child can learn that and the parent
knows it, and the child knows it, things change in wonderful ways.
-=-as a responsible mother...i have to get him up and moving after a
while. even if that means we go to the park or to the science museum.-=-
??
"Even if"? We went to parks and museums all the time when my kids
were little. I didn't "have to" get them up and moving. They were
interested in the world in which they lived, even though sometimes
they would play video games for a long time, or watch videos they had
already watched, or listen to music they had already heard.
I seek to educate my children and help them understand that
technology cannot cause us to get tuned out from the world.-=-
I think you meant to say CAN cause, not cannot cause. I do agree with
what you wrote there at the end. I don't think you do. <g>
The only people I have seen who were "tuned out from the world" were
people like my cousin Nadine, who had suffered abuse and abandonment
and had been sent 600 miles to live with our family, against her
will. Kids I went to school with who were picked on and who had
meanness and violence at home could tune out any place, any time.
Video games weren't even invented yet.
-=-as a responsible mother...i have to -=-
As a mother, you chose to.
As a contributor to this list (which I hope you will continue to be!)
you've suggested that others here aren't responsible mothers.
Please re-read your posts before you send them to check for things
like "I had to..." and such. Proofreading and deciding whether it's
really what you meant to say is better for your own thinking and for
those who come to read!
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
time. I just have to.-=-
Please rephrase when you come to a "have to" in this forum. Choices!
Moms have a badillion choices. Always they should have at least two.
<G>
http://sandradodd.com/haveto
http://sandradodd.com/choices
"Have to" means "had no choice." That's a dangerous thought to have
or to pass on.
-=-When technology (wii, ds, computer, tv) begins to make my children
act beastly and I am breaking up one fight after the other the
technology is going off.-=-
My sister said that after her kids had played at another house, years
ago, where there was a Sega Genesis system. She told me (with her
accustomed dramatic feeling) that her kids would NEVER have a video
game system, because they fought over it everytime they were around
one and she wasn't going to spend $200 on that. I asked her if she
would rather spend that much money on something not worth fighting
over. If they're fighting over it, it must be good! Rather than
take it away, maybe help them find ways to get along in the presence
of something that absorbing and wonderful.
-=-I also did not sign up for technology to take over spending time
with my kids.-=-
Are you suggesting other families did?
-=- So when I find that our person to person time is being eclipsed I
will call no technology time. They can do whatever they want in that
time.-=-
If you make them turn off the games or computers because you miss
being with them, does that make them want to be with you? If they can
do whatever they want in that time, you mean they don't have to hang
out with you? But they can't use the TV or computer? How old are
they again?
-=- in my own experience i have had times when i have spent too much
time doing something...like surfing the net or writing e-mail and time
has passed and nothing has gotten done and i need to change what i am
doing totally.-=-
Who decides for you?
-=-My older son used to spend massive time but since getting time away
from technology he is more balanced. I don't even really have to call
for down time for him. He simply takes it and has other interests that
he pursues passionately.-=-
Ah. So because he does other things, you're taking credit for his
decision? You don't have to now, but at one point you did.
Had you not "called for no technology time" you probably would have
seen (as many others her have) that the children would have done that
on their own. Then you could have been more confident about other
decisions they would make in the future, and in their natural ability
to make good choices without moms stepping in and putting limits on
them.
He will never have credit for being "more balanced" if you feel it was
your doing.
It's one of the very best things about a child learning to read
without "being taught." If the child can learn that and the parent
knows it, and the child knows it, things change in wonderful ways.
-=-as a responsible mother...i have to get him up and moving after a
while. even if that means we go to the park or to the science museum.-=-
??
"Even if"? We went to parks and museums all the time when my kids
were little. I didn't "have to" get them up and moving. They were
interested in the world in which they lived, even though sometimes
they would play video games for a long time, or watch videos they had
already watched, or listen to music they had already heard.
I seek to educate my children and help them understand that
technology cannot cause us to get tuned out from the world.-=-
I think you meant to say CAN cause, not cannot cause. I do agree with
what you wrote there at the end. I don't think you do. <g>
The only people I have seen who were "tuned out from the world" were
people like my cousin Nadine, who had suffered abuse and abandonment
and had been sent 600 miles to live with our family, against her
will. Kids I went to school with who were picked on and who had
meanness and violence at home could tune out any place, any time.
Video games weren't even invented yet.
-=-as a responsible mother...i have to -=-
As a mother, you chose to.
As a contributor to this list (which I hope you will continue to be!)
you've suggested that others here aren't responsible mothers.
Please re-read your posts before you send them to check for things
like "I had to..." and such. Proofreading and deciding whether it's
really what you meant to say is better for your own thinking and for
those who come to read!
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lyla Wolfenstein
i just now posted this on my facebook status - might be relevant / helpful. my son is 11.
son to his dad: "i'm kind of losing interest in WOW for right now. i will still log on if there's something you want help with, etc. but that's it right now" (for anyone still fearing their kid will never step away from video games given free access and opportunity.) what he's done so far today: composed a song on music writer, started his sherlock holmes book he got from his uncle, made most of a paper mache hedgehog, initiated and wrote a thank you email for aforementioned book, worked with his dad to compose another song, explored the science experiments in his new book, and enjoyed crepe sunday, oh and played about 5 minutes on the DS with the new scribblenauts program.
MARKETPLACE
Going Green: Your Yahoo! Groups resource for green living
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Parenting Zone: Find useful resources for a happy, healthy family and home
Switch to: Text-Only, Daily Digest . Unsubscribe . Terms of Use
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
son to his dad: "i'm kind of losing interest in WOW for right now. i will still log on if there's something you want help with, etc. but that's it right now" (for anyone still fearing their kid will never step away from video games given free access and opportunity.) what he's done so far today: composed a song on music writer, started his sherlock holmes book he got from his uncle, made most of a paper mache hedgehog, initiated and wrote a thank you email for aforementioned book, worked with his dad to compose another song, explored the science experiments in his new book, and enjoyed crepe sunday, oh and played about 5 minutes on the DS with the new scribblenauts program.
MARKETPLACE
Going Green: Your Yahoo! Groups resource for green living
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Parenting Zone: Find useful resources for a happy, healthy family and home
Switch to: Text-Only, Daily Digest . Unsubscribe . Terms of Use
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tirra-Olufemi
Peace Sandra,
Your point is well taken on proofreading. In terms of the intent of what I am writing I thought that I was only sharing perspective not suggesting anything about others. I will probably sit back and see if I can get a better vibe for this group. In the first rad unschooling group of which I was part I could never fully get into how to speak on the group with out feeling like I was wrong.
But okay.
Regarding choices as I see it life is choice. So the "have to" was more for dramatic effect. None of you know me so I can see how that was taken in a way that I did not mean it. I simply seek to shift the energy of my home. I am not perfect at not getting too bogged down in technology. Like right now...I really feel that I need to be doing other things that I had planned to do but instead I am writing this email.
When I find that this is the energetic vibe of my family then I won't choose to stay there. One of the major lessons that I have learned from other unschoolers is the importance of modeling. So I get up and go and so do my kids.
==>My sister said that after her kids had played at another house, years
ago, where there was a Sega Genesis system. She told me (with her
accustomed dramatic feeling) that her kids would NEVER have a video
game system, because they fought over it everytime they were around
one and she wasn't going to spend $200 on that. I asked her if she
would rather spend that much money on something not worth fighting
over. If they're fighting over it, it must be good! Rather than
take it away, maybe help them find ways to get along in the presence
of something that absorbing and wonderful
I don't disagree with you. I agree with you on this. I work with my sons to find balance. But at some point when I see we need to choose to do something else for peace sake...then we shall. It's break to help shift the energy as I see it. More of a time out than a take away.
-=-I also did not sign up for technology to take over spending time
with my kids.-=-
Are you suggesting other families did?
Nope. I am merely speaking on the thoughts that have crossed my mind regarding me and my family.
-=- So when I find that our person to person time is being eclipsed I
will call no technology time. They can do whatever they want in that
time.-=-
==>If you make them turn off the games or computers because you miss
being with them, does that make them want to be with you? If they can
do whatever they want in that time, you mean they don't have to hang
out with you? But they can't use the TV or computer? How old are
they again?
No. That does not make them want to me with me. I don't mind that though at times they do seek to spend time with me. Mostly they play with each other and when they go back to playing with computers and what have you they tend to be more in synch with each other.
They are 6 and 9 years old. First of all it is rare that I will say no technology. It is when it feels like we are in a rut and beast wars is happening between the two of them that I tell them we will are ALL pulling back. I get off it all, too, so as to not be a hypocrite and to live what I am calling them to do in that moment. And at times I don't take a break from tv and computers and at times i call for us to do so.
=
-=- in my own experience i have had times when i have spent too much
time doing something... like surfing the net or writing e-mail and time
has passed and nothing has gotten done and i need to change what i am
doing totally.-=-
Who decides for you?
I decide for me. I am assuming that you are saying that they should decide for themselves. Mostly they do but when the rut happens...I feel called to do something.
-=-My older son used to spend massive time but since getting time away
from technology he is more balanced. I don't even really have to call
for down time for him. He simply takes it and has other interests that
he pursues passionately. -=-
==>Ah. So because he does other things, you're taking credit for his
decision?
No.
==>You don't have to now, but at one point you did.
Had you not "called for no technology time" you probably would have
seen (as many others her have) that the children would have done that
on their own. Then you could have been more confident about other
decisions they would make in the future, and in their natural ability
to make good choices without moms stepping in and putting limits on
them.
I agree with you. I have seen this with them, too.
==>He will never have credit for being "more balanced" if you feel it was
your doing.
I don't feel it was my doing. I just so happen to take note that this what is going on with him.
==>It's one of the very best things about a child learning to read
without "being taught." If the child can learn that and the parent
knows it, and the child knows it, things change in wonderful ways.
Because of John Holt and other unschoolers...maybe even some of your work because I have read your site in previous years...I have had this experience with my older son. I trust their innate wisdom. I don't always profess to be perfect as unschooling is a new paradigm for me. But I know that children learn to read without being taught.
-=-as a responsible mother...i have to get him up and moving after a
while. even if that means we go to the park or to the science museum.-=-
??
==>"Even if"? We went to parks and museums all the time when my kids
were little. I didn't "have to" get them up and moving. They were
interested in the world in which they lived, even though sometimes
they would play video games for a long time, or watch videos they had
already watched, or listen to music they had already heard.
I agree with you. This is my experience. Even if...not meant to mean anything really. Maybe should have said "we do many things such as..." I get myself up and moving and so they end up getting up and moving too. Yes, we are all interested in life in general...I agree with you.
==
I seek to educate my children and help them understand that
technology cannot cause us to get tuned out from the world.-=-
==>I think you meant to say CAN cause, not cannot cause. I do agree with
what you wrote there at the end. I don't think you do. <g>
I wrote what I meant but do agree with "can cause"...
The only people I have seen who were "tuned out from the world" were
people like my cousin Nadine, who had suffered abuse and abandonment
and had been sent 600 miles to live with our family, against her
will. Kids I went to school with who were picked on and who had
meanness and violence at home could tune out any place, any time.
Video games weren't even invented yet.
==>It is interesting to me what you say. There is some issue with technology at times though. It can be positive and negative just depending on the use. Do I see my kids use of it as detrimental. No. I just don't. As a matter of fact I think it was writing you posted about your children that made me okay with it. But I have had my own issues with it. It can tune me out to the world and at times it is good but there are problematic times, too. That is the point I was making.
-=-as a responsible mother...i have to -=-
==>As a mother, you chose to.
Yep..choose to. Have to was more for dramatic effect. I hear you.
==>As a contributor to this list (which I hope you will continue to be!)
you've suggested that others here aren't responsible mothers.
In my perspective it is how you are seeing it. I am not suggesting that other mothers are not responsible. I am only talking about me. I don't judge other mothers. I am not suggesting that others are not responsible. If that is how these words are coming across then let me clear it up now that that is not my intent.
==>Please re-read your posts before you send them to check for things
like "I had to..." and such. Proofreading and deciding whether it's
really what you meant to say is better for your own thinking and for
those who come to read!
Again...I will have to step back and read more. I am merely sharing
not suggesting anything. But in honoring your request I will be more
mindful of what I post.
Peace
Tirra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Your point is well taken on proofreading. In terms of the intent of what I am writing I thought that I was only sharing perspective not suggesting anything about others. I will probably sit back and see if I can get a better vibe for this group. In the first rad unschooling group of which I was part I could never fully get into how to speak on the group with out feeling like I was wrong.
But okay.
Regarding choices as I see it life is choice. So the "have to" was more for dramatic effect. None of you know me so I can see how that was taken in a way that I did not mean it. I simply seek to shift the energy of my home. I am not perfect at not getting too bogged down in technology. Like right now...I really feel that I need to be doing other things that I had planned to do but instead I am writing this email.
When I find that this is the energetic vibe of my family then I won't choose to stay there. One of the major lessons that I have learned from other unschoolers is the importance of modeling. So I get up and go and so do my kids.
==>My sister said that after her kids had played at another house, years
ago, where there was a Sega Genesis system. She told me (with her
accustomed dramatic feeling) that her kids would NEVER have a video
game system, because they fought over it everytime they were around
one and she wasn't going to spend $200 on that. I asked her if she
would rather spend that much money on something not worth fighting
over. If they're fighting over it, it must be good! Rather than
take it away, maybe help them find ways to get along in the presence
of something that absorbing and wonderful
I don't disagree with you. I agree with you on this. I work with my sons to find balance. But at some point when I see we need to choose to do something else for peace sake...then we shall. It's break to help shift the energy as I see it. More of a time out than a take away.
-=-I also did not sign up for technology to take over spending time
with my kids.-=-
Are you suggesting other families did?
Nope. I am merely speaking on the thoughts that have crossed my mind regarding me and my family.
-=- So when I find that our person to person time is being eclipsed I
will call no technology time. They can do whatever they want in that
time.-=-
==>If you make them turn off the games or computers because you miss
being with them, does that make them want to be with you? If they can
do whatever they want in that time, you mean they don't have to hang
out with you? But they can't use the TV or computer? How old are
they again?
No. That does not make them want to me with me. I don't mind that though at times they do seek to spend time with me. Mostly they play with each other and when they go back to playing with computers and what have you they tend to be more in synch with each other.
They are 6 and 9 years old. First of all it is rare that I will say no technology. It is when it feels like we are in a rut and beast wars is happening between the two of them that I tell them we will are ALL pulling back. I get off it all, too, so as to not be a hypocrite and to live what I am calling them to do in that moment. And at times I don't take a break from tv and computers and at times i call for us to do so.
=
-=- in my own experience i have had times when i have spent too much
time doing something... like surfing the net or writing e-mail and time
has passed and nothing has gotten done and i need to change what i am
doing totally.-=-
Who decides for you?
I decide for me. I am assuming that you are saying that they should decide for themselves. Mostly they do but when the rut happens...I feel called to do something.
-=-My older son used to spend massive time but since getting time away
from technology he is more balanced. I don't even really have to call
for down time for him. He simply takes it and has other interests that
he pursues passionately. -=-
==>Ah. So because he does other things, you're taking credit for his
decision?
No.
==>You don't have to now, but at one point you did.
Had you not "called for no technology time" you probably would have
seen (as many others her have) that the children would have done that
on their own. Then you could have been more confident about other
decisions they would make in the future, and in their natural ability
to make good choices without moms stepping in and putting limits on
them.
I agree with you. I have seen this with them, too.
==>He will never have credit for being "more balanced" if you feel it was
your doing.
I don't feel it was my doing. I just so happen to take note that this what is going on with him.
==>It's one of the very best things about a child learning to read
without "being taught." If the child can learn that and the parent
knows it, and the child knows it, things change in wonderful ways.
Because of John Holt and other unschoolers...maybe even some of your work because I have read your site in previous years...I have had this experience with my older son. I trust their innate wisdom. I don't always profess to be perfect as unschooling is a new paradigm for me. But I know that children learn to read without being taught.
-=-as a responsible mother...i have to get him up and moving after a
while. even if that means we go to the park or to the science museum.-=-
??
==>"Even if"? We went to parks and museums all the time when my kids
were little. I didn't "have to" get them up and moving. They were
interested in the world in which they lived, even though sometimes
they would play video games for a long time, or watch videos they had
already watched, or listen to music they had already heard.
I agree with you. This is my experience. Even if...not meant to mean anything really. Maybe should have said "we do many things such as..." I get myself up and moving and so they end up getting up and moving too. Yes, we are all interested in life in general...I agree with you.
==
I seek to educate my children and help them understand that
technology cannot cause us to get tuned out from the world.-=-
==>I think you meant to say CAN cause, not cannot cause. I do agree with
what you wrote there at the end. I don't think you do. <g>
I wrote what I meant but do agree with "can cause"...
The only people I have seen who were "tuned out from the world" were
people like my cousin Nadine, who had suffered abuse and abandonment
and had been sent 600 miles to live with our family, against her
will. Kids I went to school with who were picked on and who had
meanness and violence at home could tune out any place, any time.
Video games weren't even invented yet.
==>It is interesting to me what you say. There is some issue with technology at times though. It can be positive and negative just depending on the use. Do I see my kids use of it as detrimental. No. I just don't. As a matter of fact I think it was writing you posted about your children that made me okay with it. But I have had my own issues with it. It can tune me out to the world and at times it is good but there are problematic times, too. That is the point I was making.
-=-as a responsible mother...i have to -=-
==>As a mother, you chose to.
Yep..choose to. Have to was more for dramatic effect. I hear you.
==>As a contributor to this list (which I hope you will continue to be!)
you've suggested that others here aren't responsible mothers.
In my perspective it is how you are seeing it. I am not suggesting that other mothers are not responsible. I am only talking about me. I don't judge other mothers. I am not suggesting that others are not responsible. If that is how these words are coming across then let me clear it up now that that is not my intent.
==>Please re-read your posts before you send them to check for things
like "I had to..." and such. Proofreading and deciding whether it's
really what you meant to say is better for your own thinking and for
those who come to read!
Again...I will have to step back and read more. I am merely sharing
not suggesting anything. But in honoring your request I will be more
mindful of what I post.
Peace
Tirra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Instead of "seeking" your joy in your imagined visions of what your
life with your children should be, maybe practice making eye contact
with what it actually is! Seriously. In each moment, there is
probably learning and joy, and your nervousness will put a damper on
that. Share the positive feelings they're having!
Thanks!! I think I'll focus on this a bit. I think your dead on.
life with your children should be, maybe practice making eye contact
with what it actually is! Seriously. In each moment, there is
probably learning and joy, and your nervousness will put a damper on
that. Share the positive feelings they're having!
Thanks!! I think I'll focus on this a bit. I think your dead on.
Mandy Ray-Jones
This really spoke to me tonight. I've been stressing lately about what I
can't do with my kids b/c of having an infant. I need to focus on the joy
in the moments we ARE having. Thanks for this.
On Sun, Dec 27, 2009 at 7:49 PM, cookiesforthree@... <
cookiesforthree@...> wrote:
Mandy Ray-Jones
Artsy Mamas Executive Director and Founder
http://artsymamas.org/
Child of God, Supermom, Wife, Natural Learning Facilitator, Aspiring Natural
Nutritionist, Truth Seeker, Lover of Life, Friend, and Geeky Blogger
http://www.bonafidemama.com/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
can't do with my kids b/c of having an infant. I need to focus on the joy
in the moments we ARE having. Thanks for this.
On Sun, Dec 27, 2009 at 7:49 PM, cookiesforthree@... <
cookiesforthree@...> wrote:
>--
>
> Instead of "seeking" your joy in your imagined visions of what your
> life with your children should be, maybe practice making eye contact
> with what it actually is! Seriously. In each moment, there is
> probably learning and joy, and your nervousness will put a damper on
> that. Share the positive feelings they're having!
>
> Thanks!! I think I'll focus on this a bit. I think your dead on.
>
>
>
Mandy Ray-Jones
Artsy Mamas Executive Director and Founder
http://artsymamas.org/
Child of God, Supermom, Wife, Natural Learning Facilitator, Aspiring Natural
Nutritionist, Truth Seeker, Lover of Life, Friend, and Geeky Blogger
http://www.bonafidemama.com/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robyn L. Coburn
<<<<but when the rut happens...I feel called to do something.>>>>
Perhaps if instead of seeing it and calling a "rut", you saw it and called
it "absorbtion", "engagement", "enthusiasm", "passionate learning", "a
beloved hobby". Then perhaps you would feel called to do something
different - like bring some snacks and drinks, sit down nearby with your own
book or craft project, watch a DVD you've been saving, write something, call
a friend for a nice long chat, and later on when they are taking a break,
ask them all about how the game is going, and invite them to take a walk
with you.
Perhaps your kids are desperate to grab all the intense gaming time they can
because they know that sooner or later you are going to put a stop to their
enjoyment, and it is going to be on your timetable, not theirs. Perhaps they
are not going to listen to their own body saying "pause, move, rest, eat"
because they figure your louder voice will come along any moment anyway.
My dd is 10. She plays a lot of games. Her emotional volatility is always
connected to decompressing from spending time with other kids in other
(stricter) homes, never with playing electronic games. I encourage her to
take a break only when she is very frustrated, and only for a couple of
minutes to look at the walkthrough or check out cheat codes. Other than
that, my experience is that she is always happy, relaxed, eager to talk and
move around physically, and full of a desire to connect whenever she puts
away her devices on her own timetable.
Robyn L. Coburn
www.Iggyjingles.etsy.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
www.allthingsdoll.blogspot.com
Perhaps if instead of seeing it and calling a "rut", you saw it and called
it "absorbtion", "engagement", "enthusiasm", "passionate learning", "a
beloved hobby". Then perhaps you would feel called to do something
different - like bring some snacks and drinks, sit down nearby with your own
book or craft project, watch a DVD you've been saving, write something, call
a friend for a nice long chat, and later on when they are taking a break,
ask them all about how the game is going, and invite them to take a walk
with you.
Perhaps your kids are desperate to grab all the intense gaming time they can
because they know that sooner or later you are going to put a stop to their
enjoyment, and it is going to be on your timetable, not theirs. Perhaps they
are not going to listen to their own body saying "pause, move, rest, eat"
because they figure your louder voice will come along any moment anyway.
My dd is 10. She plays a lot of games. Her emotional volatility is always
connected to decompressing from spending time with other kids in other
(stricter) homes, never with playing electronic games. I encourage her to
take a break only when she is very frustrated, and only for a couple of
minutes to look at the walkthrough or check out cheat codes. Other than
that, my experience is that she is always happy, relaxed, eager to talk and
move around physically, and full of a desire to connect whenever she puts
away her devices on her own timetable.
Robyn L. Coburn
www.Iggyjingles.etsy.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
www.allthingsdoll.blogspot.com
Sandra Dodd
-=-Perhaps they
are not going to listen to their own body saying "pause, move, rest,
eat"
because they figure your louder voice will come along any moment
anyway.-=-
Sometimes kids won't stop to go to the bathroom for fear that if the
mom sees them away from the game/tv/computer, she'll make them do
something, or otherwise keep them from returning to the activity.
I've known kids that way. I've been one. My kids never had that
problem.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
are not going to listen to their own body saying "pause, move, rest,
eat"
because they figure your louder voice will come along any moment
anyway.-=-
Sometimes kids won't stop to go to the bathroom for fear that if the
mom sees them away from the game/tv/computer, she'll make them do
something, or otherwise keep them from returning to the activity.
I've known kids that way. I've been one. My kids never had that
problem.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joyce Fetteroll
> Perhaps they are not going to listen to their own body sayingAnd sometimes games are just way more interesting than an age-long
> "pause, move, rest, eat"
> because they figure your louder voice will come along any moment
> anyway.
dull trip to the bathroom or meal. If I'm on a roll on an email or an
illustration, I've been known to delay too long a trip to the
bathroom or to get food. That's just human nature and it will happen,
more when they're younger when a 2 minute break for the bathroom
feels like half an hour, more when they have a new game.
But it's good to be aware of when a parent is putting another layer
on top of nature that's making their child stay at a game out of fear.
Do not make your children dread your arrival. ;-)
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
On 12/28/2009 3:47 AM, Joyce Fetteroll wrote:
hours and hours. That's what children did, in the 50's and early 60's (I
was born in 1952). Long hours of uninterrupted playtime was the norm.
When my friends and I would be playing out in the neighborhood or in my
backyard or bedroom, if my mom showed up it usually meant something good
- she'd be bringing us snacks or (just like in the commercials) a
pitcher of cold cool-aid.
The ONLY time I kind of dreaded hearing her footsteps coming down the
hall toward my bedroom was when I was "just reading." Conventional
parenting wisdom of the time said that children needed to be active -
they needed to "go outdoors" and play. I knew that I sometimes wanted
to "just lay around and read" beyond my mom's comfort level and so I'd
take a book outside with me and hide up in a tree or behind the garage
so that she'd think I was somewhere playing with other kids, being
active. My sister did the same thing. Once, she squeezed in behind a
bunch of wood piled against a wall - it didn't look like there was any
space behind it. She fell asleep and it got dark and nobody could find
her and my parents called the police.
Anyway - it wasn't even like they were trying to discourage us from
reading. We went to the library weekly, my parents read a lot, too. My
dad was an English major in college and owned lots and lots of books of
his own. But it wasn't considered "good for children" to spend too many
hours reading, so we were pretty often told to put the book down and go
outside.
I remember being in my room, reading comfortably on my bed, but not
wanting to go down the hall to the bathroom or to the kitchen for food
because I was afraid my mom would suddenly realize that I'd been in
there reading for hours and would make me go outside.
-pam
> Do not make your children dread your arrival.;-)My parents were super good about letting us kids play and play for
>
hours and hours. That's what children did, in the 50's and early 60's (I
was born in 1952). Long hours of uninterrupted playtime was the norm.
When my friends and I would be playing out in the neighborhood or in my
backyard or bedroom, if my mom showed up it usually meant something good
- she'd be bringing us snacks or (just like in the commercials) a
pitcher of cold cool-aid.
The ONLY time I kind of dreaded hearing her footsteps coming down the
hall toward my bedroom was when I was "just reading." Conventional
parenting wisdom of the time said that children needed to be active -
they needed to "go outdoors" and play. I knew that I sometimes wanted
to "just lay around and read" beyond my mom's comfort level and so I'd
take a book outside with me and hide up in a tree or behind the garage
so that she'd think I was somewhere playing with other kids, being
active. My sister did the same thing. Once, she squeezed in behind a
bunch of wood piled against a wall - it didn't look like there was any
space behind it. She fell asleep and it got dark and nobody could find
her and my parents called the police.
Anyway - it wasn't even like they were trying to discourage us from
reading. We went to the library weekly, my parents read a lot, too. My
dad was an English major in college and owned lots and lots of books of
his own. But it wasn't considered "good for children" to spend too many
hours reading, so we were pretty often told to put the book down and go
outside.
I remember being in my room, reading comfortably on my bed, but not
wanting to go down the hall to the bathroom or to the kitchen for food
because I was afraid my mom would suddenly realize that I'd been in
there reading for hours and would make me go outside.
-pam
Sandra Dodd
-=-If I'm on a roll on an email or an
illustration, I've been known to delay too long a trip to the
bathroom or to get food. That's just human nature and it will happen,
more when they're younger when a 2 minute break for the bathroom
feels like half an hour, more when they have a new game.-=-
In contrast, I was telling one of my kids just the other day that
school expected me to sit for an hour or two at a time. ME! So I
became expert at needing to sharpen my pencil, needing to go to the
bathroom, volunteering to take notes to the office, DOing something.
On the other hand, at home I could become engrossed in a book (if I
were fortunate enough to have a new book) to the point that it could
get too dark to read and I didn't notice, or I REALLY needed to pee,
but I didn't notice.
Forgetting to take care of one's needs is a sign of wonder and
fascination, whereas having nothing to do but eat and go to the
bathroom and make eye contact with other humans just to do it doesn't
sound like ideal conditions for learning.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
illustration, I've been known to delay too long a trip to the
bathroom or to get food. That's just human nature and it will happen,
more when they're younger when a 2 minute break for the bathroom
feels like half an hour, more when they have a new game.-=-
In contrast, I was telling one of my kids just the other day that
school expected me to sit for an hour or two at a time. ME! So I
became expert at needing to sharpen my pencil, needing to go to the
bathroom, volunteering to take notes to the office, DOing something.
On the other hand, at home I could become engrossed in a book (if I
were fortunate enough to have a new book) to the point that it could
get too dark to read and I didn't notice, or I REALLY needed to pee,
but I didn't notice.
Forgetting to take care of one's needs is a sign of wonder and
fascination, whereas having nothing to do but eat and go to the
bathroom and make eye contact with other humans just to do it doesn't
sound like ideal conditions for learning.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-Once, she squeezed in behind a
bunch of wood piled against a wall - it didn't look like there was any
space behind it. She fell asleep and it got dark and nobody could find
her and my parents called the police.-=-
When Pam visited Albuquerque, she saw earthquake danger in people's
yards and houses. We don't get those earthquakes.
When I read about Pam's sister, between the wood and the wall, asleep,
I thought "but the black widow spiders live there!" and probably, in
southern California, they don't. <g>
It's good to be open to what actually is and not flood our children's
worlds with our own fears.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
bunch of wood piled against a wall - it didn't look like there was any
space behind it. She fell asleep and it got dark and nobody could find
her and my parents called the police.-=-
When Pam visited Albuquerque, she saw earthquake danger in people's
yards and houses. We don't get those earthquakes.
When I read about Pam's sister, between the wood and the wall, asleep,
I thought "but the black widow spiders live there!" and probably, in
southern California, they don't. <g>
It's good to be open to what actually is and not flood our children's
worlds with our own fears.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jenny Cyphers
***I remember being in my room, reading comfortably on my bed, but not
wanting to go down the hall to the bathroom or to the kitchen for food
because I was afraid my mom would suddenly realize that I'd been in
there reading for hours and would make me go outside.***
That was all true for me too! Every word of it. I started reading in the bathroom where nobody would interrupt. For a while my parents were very concerned that I had really bad constipation issues because I would stay in there so long! They caught on to that one after a while... then they'd make me go outside and do something else. If only we'd had 2 bathrooms, I could've gotten away with it much longer.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
wanting to go down the hall to the bathroom or to the kitchen for food
because I was afraid my mom would suddenly realize that I'd been in
there reading for hours and would make me go outside.***
That was all true for me too! Every word of it. I started reading in the bathroom where nobody would interrupt. For a while my parents were very concerned that I had really bad constipation issues because I would stay in there so long! They caught on to that one after a while... then they'd make me go outside and do something else. If only we'd had 2 bathrooms, I could've gotten away with it much longer.
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TreeGoddess
On Dec 28, 2009, at 3:22 PM, Jenny Cyphers wrote:
-=-That was all true for me too! Every word of it. I started
reading in the bathroom where nobody would interrupt. For a while my
parents were very concerned that I had really bad constipation issues
because I would stay in there so long! They caught on to that one
after a while... then they'd make me go outside and do something
else. -=-
I too used to need to hide from my parents in order to read. In a
Michigan winter it was more tricky to manage, but I used to tuck a
book into my waistband and climb up into the big cherry tree in our
backyard and read. I enjoyed being up there but still...
-Tracy-
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Robyn L. Coburn
<<<< When Pam visited Albuquerque, she saw earthquake danger in people's
but I guess they didn't live in CA when Pam was little.
In Sydney you don't walk around stoney ground or go into your basement or
clamber around places with broken cement blocks in bare feet. The Sydney
Funnel Web is the most venomous spider in the world and it loves rocky
crevices and broken concrete.
Robyn L. Coburn
www.Iggyjingles.etsy.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
www.allthingsdoll.blogspot.com
> yards and houses. We don't get those earthquakes.And I immediately thought of the wood pile tumbling down in an earthquake,
>
> When I read about Pam's sister, between the wood and the wall, asleep,
> I thought "but the black widow spiders live there!" and probably, in
> southern California, they don't. <g>
>>>>>
but I guess they didn't live in CA when Pam was little.
In Sydney you don't walk around stoney ground or go into your basement or
clamber around places with broken cement blocks in bare feet. The Sydney
Funnel Web is the most venomous spider in the world and it loves rocky
crevices and broken concrete.
Robyn L. Coburn
www.Iggyjingles.etsy.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
www.allthingsdoll.blogspot.com
Marina DeLuca-Howard
I got a surprize from my sil and bil for Christmas. A DSI.
My kids and I are loving Animal Crossing, together. It is the first time I
could really *enjoy* a game with them. Before I was supportive and
interested, but now my little Marina Doppelganger is moving on screen and my
kids are enjoying teaching me how to harvest fruit, meet the locals,
decorate my house and pay my mortgage, as well as urging me to plant more
flowers and go fishing. We don't blow anybody up and its non-competitive.
There are no points involved. This is a game for me...purely skill and fun,
but I love Wii bowling, tennis and skiing, too. Most of the games the kids
play are too complex for me lol I can appreciate their reflexes,
persistence and the ability to delve into and memorize a vast array of
characters and information...but heck I am forty-two my brain can't possibly
be as good, and though I knit and type, my fingers don't move as quickly as
theirs.
I enjoy watching my kids exercise choice and revel in their discoveries.
Choices are great. But I have never been able to share their interests as
fully as this one. I am currently struggling to build virtual snowmen with
the encouragement of my kids.
Today we went out to a mall to try on shoes, eat sushi, bbq, and Thai food.
My middle son whom I am constantly being "warned about" ate sushi, with
oj. I think his choices are great. He enjoys a variety of food. I don't
dole it based on faulty logic. Over the course of a week he eats less of
what other parents consider junkfood than the kids who need to ask and
have it doled out. Those parents never believe me, because if ever they
relax their kids will grab the cookies and disappear in a closet until the
bag is all gone. They are just sure we live in chaos because my kids don't
need permission to eat food in particular. I don't moniter the treats. I
just make sure lots of bread, peanut butter, meat, eggs, fruit and veggies
disappear too. If they don't I offer platters!
I had bought a large wheel of brie to give to my brother for Christmas, but
I found out when I went to the fridge to pack the hamper the kids had
devoured it! They ask with most things that might be an ingredient in
something else. (Cream, sour cream, chocolate chips generally are
ingredients in other dishes and I have been tripped up after discovering
minutes after assembling all the other ingredients that someone ate whatever
it was and need to get more)
This happened slowly over the course of years. We spent time in candy shops
and bought home lots of ice cream. Sometimes they love a
particular food for ages.
Other times the combinations strike me as odd. One night three years ago, I
think, we had a chocolate fondue and I remember telling my son, Marty, we
don't dip carrots in chocolate. I couldn't think why, so I backed off right
away;) We were working together to set up a plate of fruit to dip in
chocolate and he started arranging baby carrots on the platter. It was
strikingly beautiful!
His response was he liked carrots and we all love chocolate. He
wondered what is so great about strawberries dipped in chocolate.
Strawberries are great alone, especially when ripe and in season,
strawberries don't need anything. But carrots taste really really good
dipped in chocolate. True wisdom indeed.
Marina
My kids and I are loving Animal Crossing, together. It is the first time I
could really *enjoy* a game with them. Before I was supportive and
interested, but now my little Marina Doppelganger is moving on screen and my
kids are enjoying teaching me how to harvest fruit, meet the locals,
decorate my house and pay my mortgage, as well as urging me to plant more
flowers and go fishing. We don't blow anybody up and its non-competitive.
There are no points involved. This is a game for me...purely skill and fun,
but I love Wii bowling, tennis and skiing, too. Most of the games the kids
play are too complex for me lol I can appreciate their reflexes,
persistence and the ability to delve into and memorize a vast array of
characters and information...but heck I am forty-two my brain can't possibly
be as good, and though I knit and type, my fingers don't move as quickly as
theirs.
I enjoy watching my kids exercise choice and revel in their discoveries.
Choices are great. But I have never been able to share their interests as
fully as this one. I am currently struggling to build virtual snowmen with
the encouragement of my kids.
Today we went out to a mall to try on shoes, eat sushi, bbq, and Thai food.
My middle son whom I am constantly being "warned about" ate sushi, with
oj. I think his choices are great. He enjoys a variety of food. I don't
dole it based on faulty logic. Over the course of a week he eats less of
what other parents consider junkfood than the kids who need to ask and
have it doled out. Those parents never believe me, because if ever they
relax their kids will grab the cookies and disappear in a closet until the
bag is all gone. They are just sure we live in chaos because my kids don't
need permission to eat food in particular. I don't moniter the treats. I
just make sure lots of bread, peanut butter, meat, eggs, fruit and veggies
disappear too. If they don't I offer platters!
I had bought a large wheel of brie to give to my brother for Christmas, but
I found out when I went to the fridge to pack the hamper the kids had
devoured it! They ask with most things that might be an ingredient in
something else. (Cream, sour cream, chocolate chips generally are
ingredients in other dishes and I have been tripped up after discovering
minutes after assembling all the other ingredients that someone ate whatever
it was and need to get more)
This happened slowly over the course of years. We spent time in candy shops
and bought home lots of ice cream. Sometimes they love a
particular food for ages.
Other times the combinations strike me as odd. One night three years ago, I
think, we had a chocolate fondue and I remember telling my son, Marty, we
don't dip carrots in chocolate. I couldn't think why, so I backed off right
away;) We were working together to set up a plate of fruit to dip in
chocolate and he started arranging baby carrots on the platter. It was
strikingly beautiful!
His response was he liked carrots and we all love chocolate. He
wondered what is so great about strawberries dipped in chocolate.
Strawberries are great alone, especially when ripe and in season,
strawberries don't need anything. But carrots taste really really good
dipped in chocolate. True wisdom indeed.
Marina
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-Other times the combinations strike me as odd. One night three
years ago, I
think, we had a chocolate fondue and I remember telling my son, Marty,
we
don't dip carrots in chocolate. I couldn't think why, so I backed off
right
away;) We were working together to set up a plate of fruit to dip in
chocolate and he started arranging baby carrots on the platter. It was
strikingly beautiful!-=-
I'm on his side, about chocolate.
Years ago, pre-kids, I mentioned at work that chocolate could make
anything better. A co-worker said he didn't think so. We got to
talking about what would or wouldn't be better with chocolate. That
night I made chocolate chip corn bread, just as a goof. I took it to
work the next day, and it was actually pretty good!
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
years ago, I
think, we had a chocolate fondue and I remember telling my son, Marty,
we
don't dip carrots in chocolate. I couldn't think why, so I backed off
right
away;) We were working together to set up a plate of fruit to dip in
chocolate and he started arranging baby carrots on the platter. It was
strikingly beautiful!-=-
I'm on his side, about chocolate.
Years ago, pre-kids, I mentioned at work that chocolate could make
anything better. A co-worker said he didn't think so. We got to
talking about what would or wouldn't be better with chocolate. That
night I made chocolate chip corn bread, just as a goof. I took it to
work the next day, and it was actually pretty good!
Sandra
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Lyla Wolfenstein
yep! the local chocolatier makes bacon chocolate too.
i have started a "tradition" in my family recently of making crepes on sunday, kind of borrowed from a friend...and next weekend i am going to make the crepe batter flavored. i found a recipe for a mango one - and i am going to make a chocolate one too. maybe raspberry as well. i also saw a recipe for a chocolate pie crust for apple pie i want to try. i get that that's not carrots - but still. i think a chocolate crepe with bacon and cheese would be amazing.
mole sauce has chocolate...
lyla
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i have started a "tradition" in my family recently of making crepes on sunday, kind of borrowed from a friend...and next weekend i am going to make the crepe batter flavored. i found a recipe for a mango one - and i am going to make a chocolate one too. maybe raspberry as well. i also saw a recipe for a chocolate pie crust for apple pie i want to try. i get that that's not carrots - but still. i think a chocolate crepe with bacon and cheese would be amazing.
mole sauce has chocolate...
lyla
MARKETPLACE
Going Green: Your Yahoo! Groups resource for green living
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Parenting Zone: Your community resource for family and home
Switch to: Text-Only, Daily Digest . Unsubscribe . Terms of Use.
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Pam Sorooshian
On 12/28/2009 2:59 PM, Robyn L. Coburn wrote:
very little - I mean she was only 5 or 6 years old AND she was very
petite. The wood pile was probably only about 2 feet high - it was on
concrete behind our garage, where we had the clothesline. She'd squeezed
in between the garage wall and the wood.
We do have black widows here, but I never saw one at all until I was
into my 30's. Our suburban yards were very - sanitary (well - yeah -
probably frequently sprayed with pesticides).
I've been watching Mad Men. I am the exact same age as Don and Betty
Draper's daughter. My dad was a businessman - vice president of
marketing for an industrial construction company. We weren't as wealthy
as the Drapers, but scale the house down to a normal tract home size and
that was pretty much my life. Luckily, my parents were quite a bit
nicer, but the overall attitude toward children and women was still
exactly as depicted in Mad Men.
My dad, who loved me and admired me, told me I was very smart, for a
girl, and should be sure to learn to type well, that I'd make a
wonderful administrative assistant (a new term in those days).
-pam
> And I immediately thought of the wood pile tumbling down in an earthquake,That was in Long Beach, California, where I grew up. But, my sister was
> but I guess they didn't live in CA when Pam was little.
>
very little - I mean she was only 5 or 6 years old AND she was very
petite. The wood pile was probably only about 2 feet high - it was on
concrete behind our garage, where we had the clothesline. She'd squeezed
in between the garage wall and the wood.
We do have black widows here, but I never saw one at all until I was
into my 30's. Our suburban yards were very - sanitary (well - yeah -
probably frequently sprayed with pesticides).
I've been watching Mad Men. I am the exact same age as Don and Betty
Draper's daughter. My dad was a businessman - vice president of
marketing for an industrial construction company. We weren't as wealthy
as the Drapers, but scale the house down to a normal tract home size and
that was pretty much my life. Luckily, my parents were quite a bit
nicer, but the overall attitude toward children and women was still
exactly as depicted in Mad Men.
My dad, who loved me and admired me, told me I was very smart, for a
girl, and should be sure to learn to type well, that I'd make a
wonderful administrative assistant (a new term in those days).
-pam
[email protected]
Okay... I'm the one who started this topic.
Since that day, a few days ago, I have given my kids free choice on video games. One is playing My Sims Agent and the other is building Bionicles and really going to town with his imagination. I love it when they pretend and play and I get to watch them do this. It's so fun. I was so excited to let everyone know my comfort levels at watching my kids make choices for themselves and not make choices because they are afraid they are not going to get to make the choices they want... Hope that made sense to you all.
I really thought that video games would be the only choice that they would ever make. WOW!! They are showing more interest in doing things even besides video games. One of them found a pop up timer for a roast. We had so much fun experimenting with different water temperatures and this got us started on all other kinds of measuring tools and we had a blast.
In summary, I believe that by me relaxing up and letting them make their choices, they have been free to actually decide all on their own when not to play video games and pursue their other interests. I'm fine with them playing video games now and enjoy watching and interacting with them, or just being near finishing a knitting project, reading or chit chatting with them. So far, so great!!!
Since that day, a few days ago, I have given my kids free choice on video games. One is playing My Sims Agent and the other is building Bionicles and really going to town with his imagination. I love it when they pretend and play and I get to watch them do this. It's so fun. I was so excited to let everyone know my comfort levels at watching my kids make choices for themselves and not make choices because they are afraid they are not going to get to make the choices they want... Hope that made sense to you all.
I really thought that video games would be the only choice that they would ever make. WOW!! They are showing more interest in doing things even besides video games. One of them found a pop up timer for a roast. We had so much fun experimenting with different water temperatures and this got us started on all other kinds of measuring tools and we had a blast.
In summary, I believe that by me relaxing up and letting them make their choices, they have been free to actually decide all on their own when not to play video games and pursue their other interests. I'm fine with them playing video games now and enjoy watching and interacting with them, or just being near finishing a knitting project, reading or chit chatting with them. So far, so great!!!
Marina DeLuca-Howard
chocolate crepes sound really yummy...with whipped cream? sprinkled with
shavings?
Marina
2009/12/28 Lyla Wolfenstein <lylaw@...>
Rent our cottage: http://davehoward.ca/cottage/
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shavings?
Marina
2009/12/28 Lyla Wolfenstein <lylaw@...>
>--
>
> yep! the local chocolatier makes bacon chocolate too.
>
> i have started a "tradition" in my family recently of making crepes on
> sunday, kind of borrowed from a friend...and next weekend i am going to make
> the crepe batter flavored. i found a recipe for a mango one - and i am going
> to make a chocolate one too. maybe raspberry as well. i also saw a recipe
> for a chocolate pie crust for apple pie i want to try. i get that that's not
> carrots - but still. i think a chocolate crepe with bacon and cheese would
> be amazing.
>
> mole sauce has chocolate...
>
> lyla
>
> MARKETPLACE
> Going Green: Your Yahoo! Groups resource for green living
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
>
> Parenting Zone: Your community resource for family and home
> Switch to: Text-Only, Daily Digest . Unsubscribe . Terms of Use.
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
Rent our cottage: http://davehoward.ca/cottage/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]