Santa Claus
Julie
Hi,
My kids are young--James is 4.25, Tyler is 2.5 and Audrey is 4 months. This is really the first year James has been cognizant of "Christmas" in any real sense. I assumed that he'd take the Santa story in stride like any other fictional character he reads in stories or sees on TV, but he seems to believe or want to believe that Santa is actually coming to our house to give him presents and seems to want me to confirm/validate that. I assume that the difference between Santa and Mickey Mouse is that people in his real life have asked him what he's asking for from Santa, etc and other kids mentioning it.
I am not sure how to tread in this area. I don't want to lie to him and tell him that the fat elf is coming down our chimney and bringing him presents. He doesn't "get" or is disinterested in the "Santa is the spirit of giving and we can all be Santas for each other" idea.
Anyways, both my husband and I loved Christmas as kids but were pretty disillusioned and turned off by Christmas once we knew the "truth about Santa". It definitely made us disappointed at being misled and the "magic" of Christmas seemed sorely lacking after the Santa conspiracy (LOL) was uncovered.
So, what would you do if you had a kid who wanted to believe in the literal, popular media-portrayed Santa, but you want to maintain your credibility with him or her?
Thanks in advance for your insight.
Julie
My kids are young--James is 4.25, Tyler is 2.5 and Audrey is 4 months. This is really the first year James has been cognizant of "Christmas" in any real sense. I assumed that he'd take the Santa story in stride like any other fictional character he reads in stories or sees on TV, but he seems to believe or want to believe that Santa is actually coming to our house to give him presents and seems to want me to confirm/validate that. I assume that the difference between Santa and Mickey Mouse is that people in his real life have asked him what he's asking for from Santa, etc and other kids mentioning it.
I am not sure how to tread in this area. I don't want to lie to him and tell him that the fat elf is coming down our chimney and bringing him presents. He doesn't "get" or is disinterested in the "Santa is the spirit of giving and we can all be Santas for each other" idea.
Anyways, both my husband and I loved Christmas as kids but were pretty disillusioned and turned off by Christmas once we knew the "truth about Santa". It definitely made us disappointed at being misled and the "magic" of Christmas seemed sorely lacking after the Santa conspiracy (LOL) was uncovered.
So, what would you do if you had a kid who wanted to believe in the literal, popular media-portrayed Santa, but you want to maintain your credibility with him or her?
Thanks in advance for your insight.
Julie
Sandra Dodd
What I said to my kids was that people don't see Santa Claus and
different people believe different things, and that what I did know
for sure is that when I was a kid I would put a stocking up and in the
morning there would be candy and toys, and so maybe they should just
try that and not worry about the details.
I said "People say" a lot, or "When I was little..."
Sandra
different people believe different things, and that what I did know
for sure is that when I was a kid I would put a stocking up and in the
morning there would be candy and toys, and so maybe they should just
try that and not worry about the details.
I said "People say" a lot, or "When I was little..."
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/3/2009 9:33:07 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,
jmarkoski@... writes:
<<<I assumed that he'd take the Santa story in stride like any other
fictional character he reads in stories or sees on TV, but he seems to believe
or want to believe that Santa is actually coming to our house to give him
presents and seems to want me to confirm/validate that.>>>
Sometimes it works really well to ask them what they think. Sometimes I
tell general stories about "Some people believe this and I've heard stories
to this effect", but sometimes I just ask, "Hmmm.... What do *you* think"
and I often get something back that is a combination of different stories
that I'd never heard in that particular blend. Then I can follow up with where
my imagination takes me:"Oh! And wouldn't it be cool if such-and-such
happened?!" and we're off on a story-telling moment.
When Wyl was about 5, he asked me how Santa could be at so many malls and
how they could all look so different (tall, short, black, white, old,
young, etc.) and my brain froze in my panic. Uh oh! Is this magical time over
already?! WhatDoISayWhatDoISayWhatDoISay-then something I had read on Always
Unschooled popped into my head about asking the kids what they think and I
did. He said, "I don't think they're really Santa." and my heart dropped.
Then, after a pause, "I think they're Santa's helpers, because there's so
many malls that Santa needs to visit kids at, so he has helpers." Cool-I don't
think I could have come up with that myself (I was still thinking inside
the box a lot) with a non-panicked brain at that time. Wyl is 10 1/2 now and
still enjoys the magic of Santa-as do I. :~)
Peace,
De
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jmarkoski@... writes:
<<<I assumed that he'd take the Santa story in stride like any other
fictional character he reads in stories or sees on TV, but he seems to believe
or want to believe that Santa is actually coming to our house to give him
presents and seems to want me to confirm/validate that.>>>
Sometimes it works really well to ask them what they think. Sometimes I
tell general stories about "Some people believe this and I've heard stories
to this effect", but sometimes I just ask, "Hmmm.... What do *you* think"
and I often get something back that is a combination of different stories
that I'd never heard in that particular blend. Then I can follow up with where
my imagination takes me:"Oh! And wouldn't it be cool if such-and-such
happened?!" and we're off on a story-telling moment.
When Wyl was about 5, he asked me how Santa could be at so many malls and
how they could all look so different (tall, short, black, white, old,
young, etc.) and my brain froze in my panic. Uh oh! Is this magical time over
already?! WhatDoISayWhatDoISayWhatDoISay-then something I had read on Always
Unschooled popped into my head about asking the kids what they think and I
did. He said, "I don't think they're really Santa." and my heart dropped.
Then, after a pause, "I think they're Santa's helpers, because there's so
many malls that Santa needs to visit kids at, so he has helpers." Cool-I don't
think I could have come up with that myself (I was still thinking inside
the box a lot) with a non-panicked brain at that time. Wyl is 10 1/2 now and
still enjoys the magic of Santa-as do I. :~)
Peace,
De
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
lilyfoil
Hi I am a longtime lurker, and also a worrier about what to do about Santa (and fairies)......
here to tangentially add that a friend of mine has a theory that lack of faith in god has to do with the "Santa conspiracy" and being misled (duped?)
Not to be a scrooge!
all best,
Elizabeth
ps very thankful for this list
here to tangentially add that a friend of mine has a theory that lack of faith in god has to do with the "Santa conspiracy" and being misled (duped?)
Not to be a scrooge!
all best,
Elizabeth
ps very thankful for this list
Sandra Dodd
-=- He said, "I don't think they're really Santa." and my heart dropped.
Then, after a pause, "I think they're Santa's helpers, because there's
so
many malls that Santa needs to visit kids at, so he has helpers."-=-
That's what my mom told me, when I was four or five and saw two
different Santas in one day and they didn't match and one had a
clearly fake beard. She said yes, they were just guys dressed up, so
the kids could say what they wanted and feel like they were talking to
Santa, but that I shouldn't tell the younger kids because they liked
thinking it was the real Santa. So I figured "the real Santa" was
somewhere else (North Pole) busy doing something else (getting ready
for Christmas) and that was fine for me.
She didn't lie.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Then, after a pause, "I think they're Santa's helpers, because there's
so
many malls that Santa needs to visit kids at, so he has helpers."-=-
That's what my mom told me, when I was four or five and saw two
different Santas in one day and they didn't match and one had a
clearly fake beard. She said yes, they were just guys dressed up, so
the kids could say what they wanted and feel like they were talking to
Santa, but that I shouldn't tell the younger kids because they liked
thinking it was the real Santa. So I figured "the real Santa" was
somewhere else (North Pole) busy doing something else (getting ready
for Christmas) and that was fine for me.
She didn't lie.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-here to tangentially add that a friend of mine has a theory that
lack of faith in god has to do with the "Santa conspiracy" and being
misled (duped?)
Not to be a scrooge!-=-
Are you apologizing to those who believe in Christmas Joy or those who
believe in God?
No, don't really answer that question. <bwg>
One thing I'm glad about is that current Santa traditions don't have
to do with the great threat of coal in the stocking. When I was
little, in the 50's and 60's, there was a whole LOT of noise about
"are you being good?" and "Have you been good this year?" It was all
about reward for virtue, and punishment for sin.
So the Santa 'conspiracy' has become much less a parallel of heaven
and hell.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
lack of faith in god has to do with the "Santa conspiracy" and being
misled (duped?)
Not to be a scrooge!-=-
Are you apologizing to those who believe in Christmas Joy or those who
believe in God?
No, don't really answer that question. <bwg>
One thing I'm glad about is that current Santa traditions don't have
to do with the great threat of coal in the stocking. When I was
little, in the 50's and 60's, there was a whole LOT of noise about
"are you being good?" and "Have you been good this year?" It was all
about reward for virtue, and punishment for sin.
So the Santa 'conspiracy' has become much less a parallel of heaven
and hell.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
lilyfoil
> One thing I'm glad about is that current Santa traditions don't haveBut it is still there, the good/bad, I am sure, not as much as during the 50s and 60s. That's part of what I don't like about it. But so far my girls have shown little interest in the strange man in the suit! They are far more interested in their advent calendars.
> to do with the great threat of coal in the stocking. When I was
> little, in the 50's and 60's, there was a whole LOT of noise about
> "are you being good?" and "Have you been good this year?" It was all
> about reward for virtue, and punishment for sin.
Elizabeth
Valentine
But it is still there, the good/bad, I am sure, not as much as during the 50s and 60s. That's part of what I don't like about it. But so far my girls have shown little interest in the strange man in the suit!
-------------------------------------------------------------
It is definitely there in France. A lot of people ask kids "did you behave","have you been good". And parents use it a lot in November and December to make kids do what they want: "If you do/don't this or that, santa claus will not come in our house for christmas, you won't have any gift"... Very convenient for parents. Very sad for kids.
They are far more interested in their advent calendars.
---------------------------------------------------
The same here. Every morning, Sacha (4,5) finds a piece of paper in the calendar which says something like "the surprise today is hidden in a very cold place/where you sleep", he runs and finds a new present every day.
He's so excited when he wakes up!
About Christmas, i tell him it's all about giving to people we love, and he knows he'll have a lot of gifts from the people who love him so much and we're talking about Santa Claus as a great story, and ther's the advent calendar, we decorate... and everything.
At first i was afraid to lose the magic, but the magic is still there, even more, and trust has not been affected.
Valentine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
carnationsgalore
--- In [email protected], "Julie" <jmarkoski@...> wrote:
I treated the Santa issue with my children differently. I didn't encourage the belief in Santa as a real person or a magical being, but a fun make=believe part of Christmas. My children were fine with knowing it was me & their dad who put out the gifts. We let them know there would always be Santa gifts and never talked about the naughty side of the holiday. The Santa gifts were, and still are, put around the tree after the children went to bed. They were unwrapped to avoid a potential argument of who gets to open them. Oh, and they love to help me bring the wrapped gifts out of my closet to place around the tree on Christmas Eve.
Honestly, I let go of the Santa myth when my oldest daughter was 4 yrs. old and I was pregnant with my son. A school friend shared her story of becoming a big sister when her mom went to Baby Superstore (a real store that sold baby items) to buy another little girl. My daughter wanted to know why I would buy a boy instead of a girl because she would rather have a sister than a brother. I really didn't like that family's explanation of babies. So I also wanted my children to know the stories behind the fictional characters, Santa, the tooth fairy,and the Easter bunny. It hasn't taken away from our holidays.
Beth M.
> I assumed that he'd take the Santa story in stride like any otherI agree with other posters who suggest talking to him. Santa Claus is discussed as a real person. My Santa tale when I was a child was that I needed to be in bed asleep for him to leave me gifts. If a child sees other kids getting those gifts, they may want to get them too. And if your son sees the other kids believing in Santa and getting those presents, his logic may suggest that he too should believe in order to receive the gifts. The logic may continue that if he doesn't believe, he may not get the gifts.
> fictional character he reads in stories or sees on TV, but he seems
> to believe or want to believe that Santa is actually coming to our
> house to give him presents and seems to want me to confirm/validate
> that.
I treated the Santa issue with my children differently. I didn't encourage the belief in Santa as a real person or a magical being, but a fun make=believe part of Christmas. My children were fine with knowing it was me & their dad who put out the gifts. We let them know there would always be Santa gifts and never talked about the naughty side of the holiday. The Santa gifts were, and still are, put around the tree after the children went to bed. They were unwrapped to avoid a potential argument of who gets to open them. Oh, and they love to help me bring the wrapped gifts out of my closet to place around the tree on Christmas Eve.
Honestly, I let go of the Santa myth when my oldest daughter was 4 yrs. old and I was pregnant with my son. A school friend shared her story of becoming a big sister when her mom went to Baby Superstore (a real store that sold baby items) to buy another little girl. My daughter wanted to know why I would buy a boy instead of a girl because she would rather have a sister than a brother. I really didn't like that family's explanation of babies. So I also wanted my children to know the stories behind the fictional characters, Santa, the tooth fairy,and the Easter bunny. It hasn't taken away from our holidays.
Beth M.
Beth
<<<I assumed that he'd take the Santa story in stride like any other
fictional character he reads in stories or sees on TV, but he seems to
believe
or want to believe that Santa is actually coming to our house to give him
presents and seems to want me to confirm/validate that.>>>
When my 18yo was around 4 or 5 we took a couple of stars off of the
Christmas tree at the mall to buy gifts for underprivileged kids. She asked
me what they were for and I told her. She thought for a minute and said
"Well why doesn't Santa bring presents to poor kids? He could give them
LOTS of presents." I told her at that point that Santa was more like
Barney and he didn't really come to people's houses, but it was fun to
pretend and tell stories about him. I honestly think I could have handled
it better if I had had time to think about it, but I just jumped in with
that answer. Luckily she was fine with that information.
My son, however, was the complete opposite. We had never played up the
Santa thing with him, but he insisted that Santa was real and he believed in
him, even if his sisters didn't. We let him believe and left cookies for
Santa and had fun with it. A year or two later he decided that Santa wasn't
real after all. After initially deciding that Santa wasn't a good lie to
tell, those few years that we pretended with Caleb were a lot of fun.
Beth
fictional character he reads in stories or sees on TV, but he seems to
believe
or want to believe that Santa is actually coming to our house to give him
presents and seems to want me to confirm/validate that.>>>
When my 18yo was around 4 or 5 we took a couple of stars off of the
Christmas tree at the mall to buy gifts for underprivileged kids. She asked
me what they were for and I told her. She thought for a minute and said
"Well why doesn't Santa bring presents to poor kids? He could give them
LOTS of presents." I told her at that point that Santa was more like
Barney and he didn't really come to people's houses, but it was fun to
pretend and tell stories about him. I honestly think I could have handled
it better if I had had time to think about it, but I just jumped in with
that answer. Luckily she was fine with that information.
My son, however, was the complete opposite. We had never played up the
Santa thing with him, but he insisted that Santa was real and he believed in
him, even if his sisters didn't. We let him believe and left cookies for
Santa and had fun with it. A year or two later he decided that Santa wasn't
real after all. After initially deciding that Santa wasn't a good lie to
tell, those few years that we pretended with Caleb were a lot of fun.
Beth
Anne Mills
Every morning, Sacha (4,5) finds a piece of paper in the calendar which says something like "the surprise today is hidden in a very cold place/where you sleep", he runs and finds a new present every day.
Valentine can you tell me more about your advent calendar - where do the piece of paper come from ?it sounds great !
We only do the chocolate ones and they are opened all at once.
Anne
To: [email protected]
From: matsacha33@...
Date: Fri, 4 Dec 2009 11:53:35 +0000
Subject: Re : [AlwaysLearning] Re: Santa Claus
But it is still there, the good/bad, I am sure, not as much as during the 50s and 60s. That's part of what I don't like about it. But so far my girls have shown little interest in the strange man in the suit!
----------------------------------------------------------
It is definitely there in France. A lot of people ask kids "did you behave","have you been good". And parents use it a lot in November and December to make kids do what they want: "If you do/don't this or that, santa claus will not come in our house for christmas, you won't have any gift"... Very convenient for parents. Very sad for kids.
They are far more interested in their advent calendars.
---------------------------------------------------
The same here. Every morning, Sacha (4,5) finds a piece of paper in the calendar which says something like "the surprise today is hidden in a very cold place/where you sleep", he runs and finds a new present every day.
He's so excited when he wakes up!
About Christmas, i tell him it's all about giving to people we love, and he knows he'll have a lot of gifts from the people who love him so much and we're talking about Santa Claus as a great story, and ther's the advent calendar, we decorate... and everything.
At first i was afraid to lose the magic, but the magic is still there, even more, and trust has not been affected.
Valentine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
_________________________________________________________________
Nouveau�! Tout Windows Live d�barque dans votre t�l�phone. Voir les Windows phone
http://clk.atdmt.com/FRM/go/175819071/direct/01/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Valentine can you tell me more about your advent calendar - where do the piece of paper come from ?it sounds great !
We only do the chocolate ones and they are opened all at once.
Anne
To: [email protected]
From: matsacha33@...
Date: Fri, 4 Dec 2009 11:53:35 +0000
Subject: Re : [AlwaysLearning] Re: Santa Claus
But it is still there, the good/bad, I am sure, not as much as during the 50s and 60s. That's part of what I don't like about it. But so far my girls have shown little interest in the strange man in the suit!
----------------------------------------------------------
It is definitely there in France. A lot of people ask kids "did you behave","have you been good". And parents use it a lot in November and December to make kids do what they want: "If you do/don't this or that, santa claus will not come in our house for christmas, you won't have any gift"... Very convenient for parents. Very sad for kids.
They are far more interested in their advent calendars.
---------------------------------------------------
The same here. Every morning, Sacha (4,5) finds a piece of paper in the calendar which says something like "the surprise today is hidden in a very cold place/where you sleep", he runs and finds a new present every day.
He's so excited when he wakes up!
About Christmas, i tell him it's all about giving to people we love, and he knows he'll have a lot of gifts from the people who love him so much and we're talking about Santa Claus as a great story, and ther's the advent calendar, we decorate... and everything.
At first i was afraid to lose the magic, but the magic is still there, even more, and trust has not been affected.
Valentine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
_________________________________________________________________
Nouveau�! Tout Windows Live d�barque dans votre t�l�phone. Voir les Windows phone
http://clk.atdmt.com/FRM/go/175819071/direct/01/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jenbgosh
Here is some very funny stuff from David Sedaris about cultural differences regarding the Santa Story. The audio is broken into 3 parts. I'd highly recommend listening to all, it's laugh out loud funny, but if you're pressed for time, parts two and three have the Santa stuff.
(David Sedaris also wrote The Santaland Diaries, which describes his experience working as an elf at Macy's in New York. Listening to it is part of my Christmas tradition.)
Here are the links to the "parts.":
Part one: http://tinyurl.com/237wzz
Part two: http://tinyurl.com/cugmkh
Part three: http://tinyurl.com/yhakcu8
You can also just hit "next" or "previous" once you're on the site.
Jennie
(David Sedaris also wrote The Santaland Diaries, which describes his experience working as an elf at Macy's in New York. Listening to it is part of my Christmas tradition.)
Here are the links to the "parts.":
Part one: http://tinyurl.com/237wzz
Part two: http://tinyurl.com/cugmkh
Part three: http://tinyurl.com/yhakcu8
You can also just hit "next" or "previous" once you're on the site.
Jennie
--- In [email protected], Valentine <matsacha33@...> wrote:
>
>
>
> But it is still there, the good/bad, I am sure, not as much as during the 50s and 60s. That's part of what I don't like about it. But so far my girls have shown little interest in the strange man in the suit!
> -------------------------------------------------------------
> It is definitely there in France. A lot of people ask kids "did you behave","have you been good". And parents use it a lot in November and December to make kids do what they want: "If you do/don't this or that, santa claus will not come in our house for christmas, you won't have any gift"... Very convenient for parents. Very sad for kids.
>
lisfieldsagain
DH and I also didn't want to lie to our DD so we told her that Santa is a game people like to play at Christmas; ie they pretend that a bearded man arrives in a sleigh, comes down the chimney and leaves presents. This does not seem to have spoiled the fun one bit!
--- In [email protected], Valentine <matsacha33@...> wrote:
>
>
>
> But it is still there, the good/bad, I am sure, not as much as during the 50s and 60s. That's part of what I don't like about it. But so far my girls have shown little interest in the strange man in the suit!
> -------------------------------------------------------------
> It is definitely there in France. A lot of people ask kids "did you behave","have you been good". And parents use it a lot in November and December to make kids do what they want: "If you do/don't this or that, santa claus will not come in our house for christmas, you won't have any gift"... Very convenient for parents. Very sad for kids.
>
>
> They are far more interested in their advent calendars.
> ---------------------------------------------------
> The same here. Every morning, Sacha (4,5) finds a piece of paper in the calendar which says something like "the surprise today is hidden in a very cold place/where you sleep", he runs and finds a new present every day.
> He's so excited when he wakes up!
>
> About Christmas, i tell him it's all about giving to people we love, and he knows he'll have a lot of gifts from the people who love him so much and we're talking about Santa Claus as a great story, and ther's the advent calendar, we decorate... and everything.
> At first i was afraid to lose the magic, but the magic is still there, even more, and trust has not been affected.
>
> Valentine
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-
DH and I also didn't want to lie to our DD so we told her that Santa
is a game people like to play at Christmas; ie they pretend that a
bearded man arrives in a sleigh, comes down the chimney and leaves
presents. This does not seem to have spoiled the fun one bit! -=-
I played along by dodging lies and entire exposure of the history of
the tradition. <g>
I'd do that "Some people believe it and some people don't," maybe or
"It's just something people do, they put out stockings."
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
DH and I also didn't want to lie to our DD so we told her that Santa
is a game people like to play at Christmas; ie they pretend that a
bearded man arrives in a sleigh, comes down the chimney and leaves
presents. This does not seem to have spoiled the fun one bit! -=-
I played along by dodging lies and entire exposure of the history of
the tradition. <g>
I'd do that "Some people believe it and some people don't," maybe or
"It's just something people do, they put out stockings."
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jenny Cyphers
***One thing I'm glad about is that current Santa traditions don't have
to do with the great threat of coal in the stocking. When I was
little, in the 50's and 60's, there was a whole LOT of noise about
"are you being good?" and "Have you been good this year?" It was all
about reward for virtue, and punishment for sin.***
Margaux asked me very directly yesterday, if she'd been good enough to get presents from Santa. I told that she's always very good, even when she's very naughty and I gave her a nudge and a wink to let her know I was kidding around. Target has a commercial out this year that is directly about a kid feeling guilty about getting too many presents because she had done bad things and her parents shouldn't have spent so much money on her because of it. I believe that is why Margaux asked that question. It was an interesting take on reward and punishment, but not tied to Santa, tied to monetary worth.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
to do with the great threat of coal in the stocking. When I was
little, in the 50's and 60's, there was a whole LOT of noise about
"are you being good?" and "Have you been good this year?" It was all
about reward for virtue, and punishment for sin.***
Margaux asked me very directly yesterday, if she'd been good enough to get presents from Santa. I told that she's always very good, even when she's very naughty and I gave her a nudge and a wink to let her know I was kidding around. Target has a commercial out this year that is directly about a kid feeling guilty about getting too many presents because she had done bad things and her parents shouldn't have spent so much money on her because of it. I believe that is why Margaux asked that question. It was an interesting take on reward and punishment, but not tied to Santa, tied to monetary worth.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
stephanie
My 7 year old son has apparently been discussing the idea of gifts being tied to good behavior with his friends. On Thanksgiving he said, "Mama, you know what I have learned over the past 7 years? That you still get presents even if you are a tiny bit naughty. And I think Gabe agrees with me."
The funny thing is, we have never told him that he wouldn't get anything due to bad behavior, but I think they see it on all the tv shows and in stores.
Steph
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with Nextel Direct Connect
The funny thing is, we have never told him that he wouldn't get anything due to bad behavior, but I think they see it on all the tv shows and in stores.
Steph
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with Nextel Direct Connect
lalow66
> Margaux asked me very directly yesterday, if she'd been good enough to get presents from Santa. I told that she's always very good, even when she's very naughty and I gave her a nudge and a wink to let her know I was kidding around. Target has a commercial out this year that is directly about a kid feeling guilty about getting too many presents because she had done bad things and her parents shouldn't have spent so much money on her because of it. I believe that is why Margaux asked that question. It was an interesting take on reward and punishment, but not tied to Santa, tied to monetary worth.I have always had a problem with tying Santa to goodness/badness for lots of reason. But a big one being that some kids dont get anything or much for Christmas, so are my kids to assume those kids were bad, when it is just that they dont have the money. My son the other day said he was going to ask Santa for a Nintendo DS. If they tip me off what they are wanting and it is too expensive I will typically say, "I dont think Santa will bring that.. He typically doesnt bring things that are that much. (like I have one that wants a computer or a million dollars etc). This son is 8 and when I said," I dont think Santa is bringing that this year." His response was, "well it isnt too expensive cause he has brought one to ... then he listed 4 or 5 kids he knows that have a DS. So what do you say to that. Another friend told her kids that parents give Santa money for the gifts- accounting for the discrepency.
>
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-
The funny thing is, we have never told him that he wouldn't get
anything due to bad behavior, but I think they see it on all the tv
shows and in stores.-=-
When this came up yesterday I asked Marty (now 20) whether he had ever
thought it had to do with being good, and he said sort of, but not
from us saying things, just from mentions in popular culture.
Sandra
The funny thing is, we have never told him that he wouldn't get
anything due to bad behavior, but I think they see it on all the tv
shows and in stores.-=-
When this came up yesterday I asked Marty (now 20) whether he had ever
thought it had to do with being good, and he said sort of, but not
from us saying things, just from mentions in popular culture.
Sandra
Mischa Holt
Hello All! I am a lurker mostly but thought I'd share on this topic as we
have dealt with it differently for each child. We have children ages 14,
12, 11 and 18 months old. We have homeschooled via unschooling since the
beginning.
When my oldest was 6 he looked me directly in the face one night after
dinner and asked if Santa was real. It wasn't that tone of "tell me what I
want to hear" it was "tell me the truth or I'll never believe anything you
say again". He had been asking questions for a few weeks and I had used
many of the suggestions others have shared."some people believe this" or
"when I was a child" or "what do you think?" and many, many other lines to
keep the "magic!" None of it satisfied him and he finally reached a
critical point. I sat down beside him and pulled him in close and said, "Do
you want the truth honey or the story that we are all told when we are
children?" Of course, he said he wanted the truth. So I drew in a deep
breath and then we shared about the traditions of Santa and what others have
carried down from generations past. He just cried at first but then as we
talked he began to realized that "Santa" was a concept and matter of the
heart..doing good for others and sharing from our gain. That year was
tough because he "knew" but we began a tradition of him being Santa's helper
in our house.he goes to bed with the other children but sneaks out of bed
after they fall asleep and helps arrange the Santa gifts. He also helps
with suggesting what Santa should get each of his siblings.
Now, you should know that at 14 and through out his entire life, this is the
child that seeks truth and values that above all else in relationships. I
honestly believed then, when he was 6, and now even after all these years
that telling him the truth was the right path to travel. I had a brief
flash in my minds eye view before our actual conversation that this was a
make it or break point in our relationship. And many times since then that
has been confirmed as he has trusted what we share with him because of the
foundation of truth we started. Recently he said to me, "Mom, you and dad
have a great way of protecting us from too much info until just the
appropriate time. When we need to know, you tell us. And you trust us to
be able to handle life's truths when it's time. Thank you for knowing and
thank you for hugging us when it's hard to understand and helping us through
it. Life makes so much more sense that way." I was like WOW! Where did
that come from..and then I reflected for a bit over all the years and times
he has asked questions and we were truthful and didn't try to skirt the
issues. Then I looked up and said "Thank you God for your wisdom in those
times!" I told my son that there was no way dad and I could parent in our
own power that only God can lead parents to teach their children in just the
way he needs them to for each individual child! He was a child with a
personality and heart for truth very early in his life.nothing else would
satisfy. (Many in his life have referred to him as an "old soul" and wise
beyond his years) My other children will come to the truth as well it will
just be later for them. They have yet to ask about the "Santa" myth and
they love the stories and are still in awe of the "magic" of Santa. They
are starting to question but haven't had the "tell me the truth" moment. I
anticipate it is coming though. And we will handle each one as God leads.
Who knows..soon enough they'll all be little elves for the baby!
My input on "Santa" is to pray to know your children's needs and handle each
one as an individual.
Blessings,
~Mischa in GA
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have dealt with it differently for each child. We have children ages 14,
12, 11 and 18 months old. We have homeschooled via unschooling since the
beginning.
When my oldest was 6 he looked me directly in the face one night after
dinner and asked if Santa was real. It wasn't that tone of "tell me what I
want to hear" it was "tell me the truth or I'll never believe anything you
say again". He had been asking questions for a few weeks and I had used
many of the suggestions others have shared."some people believe this" or
"when I was a child" or "what do you think?" and many, many other lines to
keep the "magic!" None of it satisfied him and he finally reached a
critical point. I sat down beside him and pulled him in close and said, "Do
you want the truth honey or the story that we are all told when we are
children?" Of course, he said he wanted the truth. So I drew in a deep
breath and then we shared about the traditions of Santa and what others have
carried down from generations past. He just cried at first but then as we
talked he began to realized that "Santa" was a concept and matter of the
heart..doing good for others and sharing from our gain. That year was
tough because he "knew" but we began a tradition of him being Santa's helper
in our house.he goes to bed with the other children but sneaks out of bed
after they fall asleep and helps arrange the Santa gifts. He also helps
with suggesting what Santa should get each of his siblings.
Now, you should know that at 14 and through out his entire life, this is the
child that seeks truth and values that above all else in relationships. I
honestly believed then, when he was 6, and now even after all these years
that telling him the truth was the right path to travel. I had a brief
flash in my minds eye view before our actual conversation that this was a
make it or break point in our relationship. And many times since then that
has been confirmed as he has trusted what we share with him because of the
foundation of truth we started. Recently he said to me, "Mom, you and dad
have a great way of protecting us from too much info until just the
appropriate time. When we need to know, you tell us. And you trust us to
be able to handle life's truths when it's time. Thank you for knowing and
thank you for hugging us when it's hard to understand and helping us through
it. Life makes so much more sense that way." I was like WOW! Where did
that come from..and then I reflected for a bit over all the years and times
he has asked questions and we were truthful and didn't try to skirt the
issues. Then I looked up and said "Thank you God for your wisdom in those
times!" I told my son that there was no way dad and I could parent in our
own power that only God can lead parents to teach their children in just the
way he needs them to for each individual child! He was a child with a
personality and heart for truth very early in his life.nothing else would
satisfy. (Many in his life have referred to him as an "old soul" and wise
beyond his years) My other children will come to the truth as well it will
just be later for them. They have yet to ask about the "Santa" myth and
they love the stories and are still in awe of the "magic" of Santa. They
are starting to question but haven't had the "tell me the truth" moment. I
anticipate it is coming though. And we will handle each one as God leads.
Who knows..soon enough they'll all be little elves for the baby!
My input on "Santa" is to pray to know your children's needs and handle each
one as an individual.
Blessings,
~Mischa in GA
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Katie
>>One thing I'm glad about is that current Santa traditions don't haveto do with the great threat of coal in the stocking. When I was
little, in the 50's and 60's, there was a whole LOT of noise about
"are you being good?" and "Have you been good this year?" It was all
about reward for virtue, and punishment for sin.<<
Oh, believe me - it is still there. Perhaps not as pervasive, but know several families who use it - including threats to call Santa on the cell phone in the middle of "bad" behaviour. And now there is a product you can buy - http://www.elfontheshelf.com/indexnf.php?id=about - to manipulate them into "behaving." The "about" page proudly states that it helps children learn self control!
Katie
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Sandra Dodd
-=-Oh, believe me - it is still there. Perhaps not as pervasive, but
know several families who use it - including threats to call Santa on
the cell phone in the middle of "bad" behaviour.--=-
I guess I've been running with a good crowd lately. <g>
I was out shopping on Tuesday--not a very busy day but I went several
places. There were a couple of little kids slightly frustrated but
the parents weren't being awful. A little girl was lost in Hobby
Lobby. One mom took her up to the front while I looked for the mom.
I was calling her name out loud, but she didn't hear me. Then in a
bit I saw a young mom looking frantic, and asked "Are you Brandi?"
Yes! Your daughter is with another mom, up front. And then they
called her on the PA. Everyone was sweet.
Either I'm getting lucky or parents are being nicer now than they were
being in the 1990's (around here, anyway).
Sandra
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know several families who use it - including threats to call Santa on
the cell phone in the middle of "bad" behaviour.--=-
I guess I've been running with a good crowd lately. <g>
I was out shopping on Tuesday--not a very busy day but I went several
places. There were a couple of little kids slightly frustrated but
the parents weren't being awful. A little girl was lost in Hobby
Lobby. One mom took her up to the front while I looked for the mom.
I was calling her name out loud, but she didn't hear me. Then in a
bit I saw a young mom looking frantic, and asked "Are you Brandi?"
Yes! Your daughter is with another mom, up front. And then they
called her on the PA. Everyone was sweet.
Either I'm getting lucky or parents are being nicer now than they were
being in the 1990's (around here, anyway).
Sandra
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Bob Collier
--- In [email protected], "Julie" <jmarkoski@...> wrote:
I said, "No, but it's fun to pretend he is."
That seemed to work. She was able to participate in the Santa 'game' and even enjoy not letting on to her friends who thought he really was a real person.
It's a tricky situation. I still cringe at the nonsense children are fed every Christmas.
Bob
>I read what I thought was a good idea in a book before I became a parent and remembered it when the time came with my daughter. I think it would have been the Christmas after her fourth birthday - and likewise her curiosity came from her friends asking her what Santa was bringing her and so on - she asked me if Santa was a real person.
> Hi,
> My kids are young--James is 4.25, Tyler is 2.5 and Audrey is 4 months. This is really the first year James has been cognizant of "Christmas" in any real sense. I assumed that he'd take the Santa story in stride like any other fictional character he reads in stories or sees on TV, but he seems to believe or want to believe that Santa is actually coming to our house to give him presents and seems to want me to confirm/validate that. I assume that the difference between Santa and Mickey Mouse is that people in his real life have asked him what he's asking for from Santa, etc and other kids mentioning it.
>
> I am not sure how to tread in this area. I don't want to lie to him and tell him that the fat elf is coming down our chimney and bringing him presents. He doesn't "get" or is disinterested in the "Santa is the spirit of giving and we can all be Santas for each other" idea.
>
> Anyways, both my husband and I loved Christmas as kids but were pretty disillusioned and turned off by Christmas once we knew the "truth about Santa". It definitely made us disappointed at being misled and the "magic" of Christmas seemed sorely lacking after the Santa conspiracy (LOL) was uncovered.
>
> So, what would you do if you had a kid who wanted to believe in the literal, popular media-portrayed Santa, but you want to maintain your credibility with him or her?
>
> Thanks in advance for your insight.
>
> Julie
>
I said, "No, but it's fun to pretend he is."
That seemed to work. She was able to participate in the Santa 'game' and even enjoy not letting on to her friends who thought he really was a real person.
It's a tricky situation. I still cringe at the nonsense children are fed every Christmas.
Bob
Ed Wendell
We started our son out with - it's another fun way to celebrate, just like fourth of July Firecrackers, The Easter Bunny, Christmas Trees and decorations, etc. We always said it was fun to pretend and we always had our Christmas celebration fun.
Zac too has always been keen on actual facts.
When our son, Zachariah, was around age 4 he said to me - "Don't you wish Santa was real then we wouldn't have to pay for all those gifts!!! I said "Yes that would be GREAT! Wouldn't it?" So then we were off on a flight of fancy of what could happen IF we didn't have to pay!
The other day (he's 15 now) he said the only hard part of being told the truth from the beginning was not saying anything to the other children that did believe. We had asked him to not go around blurting out that Santa was just a fun story to all his friends that did believe - that that might ruin their fun.
Last night we were out and he found some documentary war DVD's he wanted (a subject he is passionate about) they were $7.77 for a set of 2 DVD's in a package. We were trying to decide if we wanted to afford them and I asked how long they were and he told me - I turned to Ed (dad) and asked how much it costs to rent a movie at Block Buster and he told me - so I said well buying the DVD sets cost about the same as renting 2 movies. THEN I asked Zac if he'd mind setting them aside till Christmas so I'd have some gifts for him, as I don't have many ideas for him this year. He asked if he could go ahead and watch them as he does not care if he has a bunch of presents to open on Christmas Day. I would have said "not right now" and gone back to get them as a surprise but there were only one each left and we were an hour away from home - so the answer was yes and he'll enjoy them now. I'll figure out something to get him for Christmas yet - a surprise if I can.
Lisa W.
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Zac too has always been keen on actual facts.
When our son, Zachariah, was around age 4 he said to me - "Don't you wish Santa was real then we wouldn't have to pay for all those gifts!!! I said "Yes that would be GREAT! Wouldn't it?" So then we were off on a flight of fancy of what could happen IF we didn't have to pay!
The other day (he's 15 now) he said the only hard part of being told the truth from the beginning was not saying anything to the other children that did believe. We had asked him to not go around blurting out that Santa was just a fun story to all his friends that did believe - that that might ruin their fun.
Last night we were out and he found some documentary war DVD's he wanted (a subject he is passionate about) they were $7.77 for a set of 2 DVD's in a package. We were trying to decide if we wanted to afford them and I asked how long they were and he told me - I turned to Ed (dad) and asked how much it costs to rent a movie at Block Buster and he told me - so I said well buying the DVD sets cost about the same as renting 2 movies. THEN I asked Zac if he'd mind setting them aside till Christmas so I'd have some gifts for him, as I don't have many ideas for him this year. He asked if he could go ahead and watch them as he does not care if he has a bunch of presents to open on Christmas Day. I would have said "not right now" and gone back to get them as a surprise but there were only one each left and we were an hour away from home - so the answer was yes and he'll enjoy them now. I'll figure out something to get him for Christmas yet - a surprise if I can.
Lisa W.
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Chrissy
i also take issue with santa for many reasons and here's the link to the
main resource i have been using with my 5, 3, and 1 year old boys.
Saint Nicholas Center <http://www.stnicholascenter.org/Brix?pageID=23>
here is a trailer to a movie that also looks promising but possibly a
bit low budget:
Nicholas of Myra <http://nicholasofmyra-movie.com/>
i hope this helps. as a christian i feel there is no problem at all in
celebrating festivals and traditions that are secular, pagan, etc. but i
do have a problem raising my children telling them: god is real but you
can't see him AND santa is real but you can't see him. any questions
they have about faith or anything else for that matter should not be
caused by my lying to them. we play harry potter and pretend we are
fairies and all other fantasies and i am trying to help them to
understand that santa claus is just like those but baised on this real
guy. tomorrow (dec 6th) is the feast day of saint nicholas. we are
toying around with different ways to celebrate it and emulate saint
nicholas instead of it just being about receiving gifts.
peace,chrissy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
main resource i have been using with my 5, 3, and 1 year old boys.
Saint Nicholas Center <http://www.stnicholascenter.org/Brix?pageID=23>
here is a trailer to a movie that also looks promising but possibly a
bit low budget:
Nicholas of Myra <http://nicholasofmyra-movie.com/>
i hope this helps. as a christian i feel there is no problem at all in
celebrating festivals and traditions that are secular, pagan, etc. but i
do have a problem raising my children telling them: god is real but you
can't see him AND santa is real but you can't see him. any questions
they have about faith or anything else for that matter should not be
caused by my lying to them. we play harry potter and pretend we are
fairies and all other fantasies and i am trying to help them to
understand that santa claus is just like those but baised on this real
guy. tomorrow (dec 6th) is the feast day of saint nicholas. we are
toying around with different ways to celebrate it and emulate saint
nicholas instead of it just being about receiving gifts.
peace,chrissy
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Jenny Cyphers
***she asked me if Santa was a real person.
I said, "No, but it's fun to pretend he is."***
This is almost exactly what we said to Chamille. I don't remember how old she was, maybe around 5 or 6. We even set out cookies and put Santa traps up so that we he comes down the chimney we hear him. Neither of my kids have EVER wanted to sit on Santa's lap, both of them have been scared to do so. I've told Margaux that Santa isn't real, but she refuses to believe me.
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I said, "No, but it's fun to pretend he is."***
This is almost exactly what we said to Chamille. I don't remember how old she was, maybe around 5 or 6. We even set out cookies and put Santa traps up so that we he comes down the chimney we hear him. Neither of my kids have EVER wanted to sit on Santa's lap, both of them have been scared to do so. I've told Margaux that Santa isn't real, but she refuses to believe me.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
misskatenwa
Our holiday celebration didn't really mention Santa Claus. Presents were under the tree but not signed.
The kids didn't care for the Mall Santas, so our photos with Santa are few and usually someone is crying or looking at Santa with a "what's with you?" expression.
Our treetop is Dicken's Ghost of Christmas Past and we decorate with Santas from around the world. (I'm a historian so my take on festivals are always from a cultural study viewpoint.) Each Santa has a different story about the country & tradition. Since we used that view of Santa, the "is he real?" question didn't come up.
However, we've had the privilege of being friends with a variety of people who have taken different roads on this issue and found that often in families that Santa is an issue one of two things are happening:
1) the kids think the presents are connected to Santa, so in their minds, no Santa = no presents.
2) the kids think that parents want them to believe in Santa.
Hope to have helped you figure how to navigate your Santa dilemma.
Kate
http://whenkateblogs.blogspot.com
The kids didn't care for the Mall Santas, so our photos with Santa are few and usually someone is crying or looking at Santa with a "what's with you?" expression.
Our treetop is Dicken's Ghost of Christmas Past and we decorate with Santas from around the world. (I'm a historian so my take on festivals are always from a cultural study viewpoint.) Each Santa has a different story about the country & tradition. Since we used that view of Santa, the "is he real?" question didn't come up.
However, we've had the privilege of being friends with a variety of people who have taken different roads on this issue and found that often in families that Santa is an issue one of two things are happening:
1) the kids think the presents are connected to Santa, so in their minds, no Santa = no presents.
2) the kids think that parents want them to believe in Santa.
Hope to have helped you figure how to navigate your Santa dilemma.
Kate
http://whenkateblogs.blogspot.com
Sandra Dodd
This stuff is truly a hoot.
I wish he was a better reader, whoever read it (and if he's reading
his own writing, even moreso), but the stories are great!!
Jenbgosh sent this:
Here are the links to the "parts.":
Part one: http://tinyurl.com/237wzz
Part two: http://tinyurl.com/cugmkh
Part three: http://tinyurl.com/yhakcu8
You can also just hit "next" or "previous" once you're on the site.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I wish he was a better reader, whoever read it (and if he's reading
his own writing, even moreso), but the stories are great!!
Jenbgosh sent this:
Here are the links to the "parts.":
Part one: http://tinyurl.com/237wzz
Part two: http://tinyurl.com/cugmkh
Part three: http://tinyurl.com/yhakcu8
You can also just hit "next" or "previous" once you're on the site.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=
1) the kids think the presents are connected to Santa, so in their
minds, no Santa = no presents.
2) the kids think that parents want them to believe in Santa. -=-
These things didn't happen at our house, because as each child knew
there was no Santa we asked him or her to help, so it was a promotion,
in a way and when all of them knew the whole deal, I didn't have to
work so hard. And they always got LOTS of presents under the tree,
from mom & dad and all kinds of people and then one or two in or near
the stocking without labels, just as what happens when you put a
stocking up.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
1) the kids think the presents are connected to Santa, so in their
minds, no Santa = no presents.
2) the kids think that parents want them to believe in Santa. -=-
These things didn't happen at our house, because as each child knew
there was no Santa we asked him or her to help, so it was a promotion,
in a way and when all of them knew the whole deal, I didn't have to
work so hard. And they always got LOTS of presents under the tree,
from mom & dad and all kinds of people and then one or two in or near
the stocking without labels, just as what happens when you put a
stocking up.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Nbyelich
We started unschooling after my son already believed in SC and we fed
the belief all these years. He is now 7 and I have had such a hard
time this year with the lying and continuing the story. He loves the
idea of Santa and I dread him finding out the truth b/c he will know
that my dh and I have lied. At the same time, I think it will crush
him this holiday season if we break the news to him.
My gut says to tell him first before he finds out other ways but I
dread ruining his love of the idea of Santa. I remember believing in
Santa when I was little but really don't remember when I found out he
was not real. In other words, I don't remember having the feeling of
being misled by my parents, I just know that at some point I stopped
believing with no major hangups. Could this just happen with him and
then we could talk about how we let the story go on b/c that was our
experience growing up? Not b/c we wanted to intentionally lie to him?
That we started this way of life after the story of sc was already a
part of our lives and we didn't want to spoil it for him? This is a
hard place to be in! If we would have parented this way from the
beginning we could have enjoyed all the stories of sc w/o all the
lies :(
We also have a 3 yo who right now believes in sc because her brother
believes in him. I'd love thoughts and advice on how to handle this,
thanks:)
the belief all these years. He is now 7 and I have had such a hard
time this year with the lying and continuing the story. He loves the
idea of Santa and I dread him finding out the truth b/c he will know
that my dh and I have lied. At the same time, I think it will crush
him this holiday season if we break the news to him.
My gut says to tell him first before he finds out other ways but I
dread ruining his love of the idea of Santa. I remember believing in
Santa when I was little but really don't remember when I found out he
was not real. In other words, I don't remember having the feeling of
being misled by my parents, I just know that at some point I stopped
believing with no major hangups. Could this just happen with him and
then we could talk about how we let the story go on b/c that was our
experience growing up? Not b/c we wanted to intentionally lie to him?
That we started this way of life after the story of sc was already a
part of our lives and we didn't want to spoil it for him? This is a
hard place to be in! If we would have parented this way from the
beginning we could have enjoyed all the stories of sc w/o all the
lies :(
We also have a 3 yo who right now believes in sc because her brother
believes in him. I'd love thoughts and advice on how to handle this,
thanks:)
Jenny Cyphers
***He is now 7 and I have had such a hard
time this year with the lying and continuing the story. He loves the
idea of Santa and I dread him finding out the truth b/c he will know
that my dh and I have lied. At the same time, I think it will crush
him this holiday season if we break the news to him.***
If it will crush him, don't do it. I wouldn't call it a lie, you've perpetuated a story with a fictional character. Chamille used to tell all kinds of elaborate stories when she was little. Her friends and cousins were always asking me if they were true, and I'd refer them back to the story teller, and let them ask her. Sometimes she really wanted the stories to be believed and sometimes they were a part of the imagination games.
***I don't remember having the feeling of
being misled by my parents, I just know that at some point I stopped
believing with no major hangups. Could this just happen with him and
then we could talk about how we let the story go on b/c that was our
experience growing up? Not b/c we wanted to intentionally lie to him? ***
If you want to somehow bring up casual Santa talk, watch a bunch of movies about Santa. There are so many movies out there with so many takes on Santa, it would be hard for a kid to watch all of them and NOT have questions. You could go with, "Nobody really knows everything there is to know about Santa, he's mysterious and people around the world have different ideas about him. What do you think?"
There's nothing wrong with feeding the imagination of a child. You don't have to continue to lie, you can be vague and start making it more of a story of the imagination. Do you think he'll feel duped? Lots of kids believe in Santa. Our culture believes in Santa, otherwise he wouldn't exist in malls and cards and stories. Heck, my youngest, 8, firmly believes in Santa, even though we've told her he isn't real.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
time this year with the lying and continuing the story. He loves the
idea of Santa and I dread him finding out the truth b/c he will know
that my dh and I have lied. At the same time, I think it will crush
him this holiday season if we break the news to him.***
If it will crush him, don't do it. I wouldn't call it a lie, you've perpetuated a story with a fictional character. Chamille used to tell all kinds of elaborate stories when she was little. Her friends and cousins were always asking me if they were true, and I'd refer them back to the story teller, and let them ask her. Sometimes she really wanted the stories to be believed and sometimes they were a part of the imagination games.
***I don't remember having the feeling of
being misled by my parents, I just know that at some point I stopped
believing with no major hangups. Could this just happen with him and
then we could talk about how we let the story go on b/c that was our
experience growing up? Not b/c we wanted to intentionally lie to him? ***
If you want to somehow bring up casual Santa talk, watch a bunch of movies about Santa. There are so many movies out there with so many takes on Santa, it would be hard for a kid to watch all of them and NOT have questions. You could go with, "Nobody really knows everything there is to know about Santa, he's mysterious and people around the world have different ideas about him. What do you think?"
There's nothing wrong with feeding the imagination of a child. You don't have to continue to lie, you can be vague and start making it more of a story of the imagination. Do you think he'll feel duped? Lots of kids believe in Santa. Our culture believes in Santa, otherwise he wouldn't exist in malls and cards and stories. Heck, my youngest, 8, firmly believes in Santa, even though we've told her he isn't real.
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