shebrakes4rainbows

I just wanted to say that, while I don't agree with all that you on this list have said, in a very short time you have challenged me and made me think about things I've been doing for a while. Things I was scared to address. It's easier to "listen" to other like minded people because when people unschool, they must be at least a little alike on some level! I appreciate all of you for taking the time to help me sort out and think through some things that I should not have been doing or saying to my children.

Today I talked to my daughter about Barbie. I've told her that I didn't like Barbie and that I would buy her one. Since this conversation about food was going on, I really started to think about that and wonder why I'd ever started to have that opinion. Was it based upon real true reasons or based upon something I once read or heard someone else say. I decided that playing with Barbie when I was a child was NOT what made me end up acting out in certain ways and so I talked to my kid. I asked her if she was interested in Barbie. She said yes. I said "If mommy said that it was totally fine for you to ask for a Barbie for your birthday, would you feel good about that?" She said yes. So I told her she could ask for one and that would be fine. She told me she wanted a Dora toy! LOL. But the point is that I felt really good about that and it was a step in the right direction of creating a loving and respectful relationship with my daughter.

I thank you all for helping me move in that direction.

Sandra Dodd

-=-. It's easier to
"listen" to other like minded people because when people
unschool, they must be at least a little alike on some
level!-=-

I hope you'll consider what's said here not because you think we're
like you, but because you try the ideas and they work.
Listening to people whether they seem like-minded or not is probably
the way to go.

Sandra

BRIAN POLIKOWSKY

Its seems like you still have an issue with Barbie. You daughter knows you have an issue with Barbie.
IF you loved something and the person you loved the most thought that it was not a "good" thing?
How you you feel?
If that person you love told you that you could  now ask to get said item and that she was ok with it, would you feel 100% good about it then?

I would have apologized to my daughter and would have gone out that day to buy her a Barbie.
I would have gotten excited about it with her.
I would have offered to go to the library check out some Barbie movies ( that are awesome by the way) and books if I coud not get her a Barbie that day ( they can be as low as $8 dollars).

I never cared to play Barbie as a child because I was not into dolls. But I have a 3.5 year old that loves princesses and Barbies and it is so much fun to see the joy they bring to my child.

The new Barbie and the three Musketteers just came out and it is great. My daughert is empowered by Barbie movies.
You really should get one and watch it with and open heart and mind. 
Barbies are cool!

Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Mandy Ray-Jones

Maybe I do still have an issue with Barbie but I'm working on it. I did
apologize to her for my attitude about Barbie in the past. We have a Barbie
book and I will pick it out off the shelf and I will read it with her. I
have had to change my attitude about Princesses too (not because I have a
problem with Princesses but more because I struggle with Disney). I can
totally see how a child might feel empowered by Barbies and while I've never
seen a Barbie movie I will certainly see if I can find one for her at the
library if she wants to see it. I did show my daughter the Barbie from
Barbie and the Rockers on the shelves at Toys R Us the other day and I told
her that I loved playing with it as a child and that I thought she looked
like a lot of fun.

I am not sure that my daughter* loves* Barbie. She's barely ever been
exposed to Barbie. She is interested in Barbie and I'm no longer going to
try and prevent her from playing with them or looking at them or being
exposed to them. If she develops a love for them and naturally becomes more
and more attracted to them then sure, I'll get excited about it with her. I
don't like LOTR but she does and I'm doing my best to try and get excited
about it with her! It's hard but I'm trying. My son loves Wall-E and I'm
not crazy about it but by golly my son doesn't know that. I have done the
best that I can to be in the middle of their loves. My daughter naturally
loves "Punky Brewster", "Full House", "iCarly" and keeps talking about Moxie
Girls. I love that we can totally agree on those things. If she decides
that Barbie is her thing then I guess we'll be playing Barbie together ;).
I didn't really play Barbie until I was a little older so maybe she's still
a bit young for it. I suppose we'll be finding out! I am excited to see
what she is naturally drawn to. It's fun to get to know my children.

On Wed, Nov 4, 2009 at 7:49 PM, BRIAN POLIKOWSKY <polykowholsteins@...
> wrote:

>
>
> Its seems like you still have an issue with Barbie. You daughter knows you
> have an issue with Barbie.
> IF you loved something and the person you loved the most thought that it
> was not a "good" thing?
> How you you feel?
> If that person you love told you that you could now ask to get said item
> and that she was ok with it, would you feel 100% good about it then?
>
> I would have apologized to my daughter and would have gone out that day to
> buy her a Barbie.
> I would have gotten excited about it with her.
> I would have offered to go to the library check out some Barbie movies (
> that are awesome by the way) and books if I coud not get her a Barbie that
> day ( they can be as low as $8 dollars).
>
> I never cared to play Barbie as a child because I was not into dolls. But I
> have a 3.5 year old that loves princesses and Barbies and it is so much fun
> to see the joy they bring to my child.
>
> The new Barbie and the three Musketteers just came out and it is great. My
> daughert is empowered by Barbie movies.
> You really should get one and watch it with and open heart and mind.
> Barbies are cool!
>
> Alex Polikowsky
> http://polykow.blogspot.com/
>
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>



--
Mandy Ray-Jones
Artsy Mamas Executive Director and Founder
http://artsymamas.org/
Child of God, Supermom, Wife, Aspiring Natural Nutritionist, Truth Seeker,
Lover of Life, Friend, and Geeky Blogger
http://www.bonafidemama.com/


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

-=-I will certainly see if I can find one for her at the
library if she wants to see it. -=-

Don't ask her if she wants to see it. Go and find one and watch it,
or put it on for background music.

The Princess and the Pauper is the only one with which I'm familiar.
It has a great message and some beautiful songs. Even if your
daughter doesn't watch it, it could help you make peace with Barbie. :-)

-=- because I struggle with Disney-=-

Is Disney struggling back? If not, you're struggling all by yourself.

-=- If she develops a love for them and naturally becomes more
and more attracted to them then sure, I'll get excited about it with
her. I
don't like LOTR but she does and I'm doing my best to try and get
excited
about it with her! It's hard but I'm trying. -=-

You don't need to struggle with the difficulty of loving Lord of the
Rings. Just relax into the joy of loving your daughter and her
interests.

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Mandy Ray-Jones

That's a really good point... that it might help me with my making peace
with Barbie. I couldn't agree more and I will see about putting some books
and a dvd on hold as soon as I write this note. Barbie is putting out a
line of dolls called Ladies of the 80's and I have a feeling that those
might just do the trick. :)

My issues with Disney have to do with voting with the dollar and have
nothing to do with this discussion. But I have started to let that go now
that my son wants to spend all of our money on Wall-E stuff!

And for the record I don't have a problem with LOTR... I simply don't enjoy
Fantasy. I've tried. Repeatedly. For my husband's sake. And I'll keep
trying. But for some reason, the entire genre has never appealed to me and
I find myself terribly bored with it! Luckily the whole fantasy LOTR thing
is something that my daughter will be able to share with her dad. And I
think it's a beautiful thing to see my little girl enjoying something with
her father b/c I would have loved to have had a common interest with my dad.

On Wed, Nov 4, 2009 at 8:21 PM, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:

>
>
> -=-I will certainly see if I can find one for her at the
> library if she wants to see it. -=-
>
> Don't ask her if she wants to see it. Go and find one and watch it,
> or put it on for background music.
>
> The Princess and the Pauper is the only one with which I'm familiar.
> It has a great message and some beautiful songs. Even if your
> daughter doesn't watch it, it could help you make peace with Barbie. :-)
>
> -=- because I struggle with Disney-=-
>
> Is Disney struggling back? If not, you're struggling all by yourself.
>
> -=- If she develops a love for them and naturally becomes more
>
> and more attracted to them then sure, I'll get excited about it with
> her. I
> don't like LOTR but she does and I'm doing my best to try and get
> excited
> about it with her! It's hard but I'm trying. -=-
>
> You don't need to struggle with the difficulty of loving Lord of the
> Rings. Just relax into the joy of loving your daughter and her
> interests.
>
> Sandra
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>



--
Mandy Ray-Jones
Artsy Mamas Executive Director and Founder
http://artsymamas.org/
Child of God, Supermom, Wife, Aspiring Natural Nutritionist, Truth Seeker,
Lover of Life, Friend, and Geeky Blogger
http://www.bonafidemama.com/


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

-=-My issues with Disney have to do with voting with the dollar and have
nothing to do with this discussion-=-

What you chose to post ended up being part of what you revealed about
your beliefs and feelings and motives, and about how you make
decisions about your dealings with your children and the world. How
does that not have to do with the discussion?

Had you not mentioned it at all, *then* it would have nothing to do
with this discussion.

At 7:32 PM you wrote: -=-And for the record I don't have a problem
with LOTR...-=-
At 7:03 PM you had written: -=- I don't like LOTR-=-

I don't personally care whether you like LOTR.
What I DO care about is that you don't waste the time of the people
who are reading the list.

Think about what you want to say, and whether it needs to be said.
Think about whether you've written what you really believe. Think
about whether you want to post it or just continue to think about it
yourself.

It's okay to be confused. It's okay to discover that you're unaware
of some of the things you're thinking (as evidenced by the fact that
you wrote them and posted them in public). It's better to practice
being thoughtful and clear, even before you post to this list.

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

emiLy Q.

> I would have offered to go to the library check out some Barbie movies ( that
> are awesome by the way) and books if I coud not get her a Barbie that day (
> they can be as low as $8 dollars).

Yes! The Barbie movies are AWESOME! It's very weird, but they are. Cool
music, songs, and they are getting bigger and bigger budgets -- the
orchestras are better lately and big name celebrities are doing voices.

I am not into dolls either, and my daughter isn't really either. But she
loves the movies and to pretend around the themes in them, and we learn a
lot of history from them too -- we have looked up a lot of stuff that we
first saw in Barbie movies.

She has a Barbie doll she got as a gift two years ago. She's played with it
a little bit, but not much. A few weeks ago we were over at some friends'
new house and the daughter had her Barbie collection out. They played with
them a lot! Then, when we got home my daughter ran and got her Barbie and
brought it out to us and said "Look! Her dress comes off!!!" She was so
excited to be able to take the wedding dress off, and take the elaborate
hairstyle out. LOL She made a Barbie-sized closet and a hanger out of some
cardboard, hung the dress up in there and designed a new dress for her
Barbie out of some blue fleece. She's made a few other skirts and things
for the Barbie since. Dressing her up was always the most fun part about
Barbie for me, too.

-emiLy

Robyn L. Coburn

Dolls of all kinds are Jayn's whole life. They are her past, her now, her
planned future. She studies them. She makes them.
There is a nice piece that I wrote about Barbies on Sandra's site.
http://sandradodd.com/barbiejayn and also
http://sandradodd.com/barbiejuliet .
For more information on the fascinating world of dolls, please visit my
round up blog Dolls: Crafting and Collecting. www.allthingsdoll.blogspot.com
.


<<< I can totally see how a child might feel empowered by Barbies>>>>

Barbie as a play line doll is going to get a run for her money from a brand
new line called Liv dolls. They are very high quality as play dolls with
jointed wrists, and elbows as well as knees and ankles. The have
interchangeable wigs that go on with a peg rather than velcro, so they stay
on. There are more wigs available to facilitate hair cutting play. Plus they
all have acrylic eyes so they have a nice level of realism. They are
designed as young teens, rather than the adult body that is Barbie. They
also have individual codes for their website. The only negatives are limited
range of skin tones (so far) and it seems they all use the same face mold.
However as teens they don't facilitate the fantasy play about "the future
when we are grown up" in the same way that Barbies will.

Bratz (until recently Barbie's fastest growing competition) lost their court
case and are going off the shelves. Their replacement from MGA, Moxie Girlz,
are some pretty dolls that read as younger than the Bratz original four. The
designers seem to have taken some of the parental criticisms of Bratz visual
designs to heart and made some much sweeter faced girls wearing more
youthful clothes. Their characters are very similar to the Bratz, and they
are all artists. A lot of the peripheral accessories focus on creativity
(it's all a bit too guided coloring in for my taste. YMMV.)

In a side-by-side comparison between Liv and Moxie, Liv won hands down
because of the eyes, extreme poseability, hair, and quality of the fashions.
So that is what Jayn chose for her birthday gift from Grandpa. We still
haven't registered them at the website though, so I have nothing to report
about the quality of the site.

Another doll that Jayn has been enjoying is a smaller fashion doll called
Juku Girls - again very poseable and with acrylic eyes. They are similar in
size to Only Hearts Club, but all vinyl instead of cloth/vinyl. They have an
"anime/manga" look to the eyes and funky fashions. They are older looking
than Only Hearts Club, but still teens.

The Integrity Toys playline of fashion dolls, the Dynamite Girls are the
dolls that feature most in our detective stories at home these days. They
are very poseable and extremely high quality. The hands are removable for
dressing (so are Liv's). The delicacy of the sculpts and the detail of the
painting are wonderful too. The clothes are very trendy and cool - finely
made. No velcro here.

Of all of the fashion sized dolls, Disney and Barbie are still the best ones
for dolls dressed up in Princess or fantasy outfits. Most of the others are
wearing stylized takes on real fashions. The Tinkerbell line is one of
Disney's new biggest seller for girls. One of the cool thing about the
Disney princesses is the variation in the face molds.

MGA appears to have stopped producing their line of fairy tale princess
characters. Of the cheaper brands there is an Asian company called Chic (not
sure if it is Hong Kong, China or Taiwan) that produce a nice quality line
of Disney knock off princesses and fairies. They are not hollow, so they
aren't as flimsy, but the face paint is not as high quality. The feet are a
bit small too.

We have about 350 Barbie and similar 11 1/2 inch fashion dolls including
collectibles. We also have several Tonner dolls (16-17") and are eagerly
awaiting the arrival of Jayn's big birthday gift (the last expensive doll
we'll be able to buy for a while) Evangeline Ghastly - a BJD collectible.

As for the Barbie movies, we have them all and eagerly await each next one.
My personal favorites are "Rapunzel" and "Princess and the Pauper". In the
early days they would have a star playing the villain. These included
Anjelica Huston and Martin Short. Then they backed off from using a big
name. I can't help wondering if the reason is that the scripts for the later
movies were less than stellar. However in the latest film, "Three
Musketeers" the villain is voiced by Tim Curry. I don't know if this is a
return to the old policy, or a sad commentary on the state of Tim Curry's
career. They all have empowering themes about courage, honesty, living your
dreams, kindness, creativity, standing up for the weaker.

One of the things I love about Disney is the relentless pursuit of
excellence. So many ideas, sketches, trials, animated scenes, concepts for
rides are tried, examined, tested and discarded before they finally settle
on a piece of art work, design, toy or story. The attention to detail is
phenomenol. I see it as very similar to the comment made about the candy
makers. Regardless of the corporate culture and the level of financial
success the corporation has attained, the individuals working in the
organization, especially the imagineers, are full of passion, delight and
the earnest desire to do great creative work.


Robyn L. Coburn
www.Iggyjingles.etsy.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
www.allthingsdoll.blogspot.com

Schuyler

If there are things I don't particularly like that Simon and Linnaea like, I watch Simon and Linnaea enjoying them and suddenly the thing that I didn't like seems much more enjoyable. Sitting with them watching an episode of Yugioh or playing with cars or reading Warrior Cats or whatever it is become a joyful experience simply because they are joyful.

Part of it is trust and value. I trust and value them to be honest in their assessment of something. If they find something engaging and interesting and fun then that thing must truly be engaging and interesting and fun. So, if I watch for what appeals to them I can find the thing more appealling with time and an open mind.

Part of it is enjoying them. If Linnaea is giggling over iCarly, iCarly is more enjoyable to me. If Simon is telling me a story about Halo 3, telling me the details of something he enjoyed, watching his hands, his face, his intense pleasure in retelling his experience I enjoy Halo 3 even more than I did before because of the great pleasure he derived from it. The things that make them laugh or smile or look with hopeful expectation to the next time they get to do it are things that I enjoy because of that. And while I may not seek those things out without Simon's or Linnaea's company, I will absolutely enjoy them with their company.

Schuyler 


________________________________
From: Mandy Ray-Jones shebrakes4rainbows@...

I am not sure that my daughter* loves* Barbie.  She's barely ever been
exposed to Barbie.  She is interested in Barbie and I'm no longer going to
try and prevent her from playing with them or looking at them or being
exposed to them.  If she develops a love for them and naturally becomes more
and more attracted to them then sure, I'll get excited about it with her.  I
don't like LOTR but she does and I'm doing my best to try and get excited
about it with her!  It's hard but I'm trying.  My son loves Wall-E and I'm
not crazy about it but by golly my son doesn't know that.  I have done the
best that I can to be in the middle of their loves.  My daughter naturally
loves "Punky Brewster", "Full House", "iCarly" and keeps talking about Moxie
Girls.  I love that we can totally agree on those things.  If she decides
that Barbie is her thing then I guess we'll be playing Barbie together ;).
I didn't really play Barbie until I was a little older so maybe she's still
a bit young for it.  I suppose we'll be finding out!  I am excited to see
what she is naturally drawn to.  It's fun to get to know my children.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Cara Barlow

I have two daughters, who are now 11 and 13, and dolls were always a big
part of their lives. When they were younger they had Barbies, then they were
give a male Bratz doll, they had American Girl dolls, nesting dolls and
dolls I picked up because I thought they would enjoy them.

They created complex ongoing stories featuring the dolls, staged birthday
and holiday parties, as they got older they wrote a book together about the
dolls that I hand-bound for them (I think they were 8 and 11 when they did
that), made digital movies featuring the dolls, and made doll clothes. The
11yo made Halloween costumes for some of the dolls this year and took them
with her in her "treat sack" when she went trick-or-treating.

Our current doll-related project is redecorating the doll house, which is
pretty beat-up and hasn't had any improvements made to it since I papered it
9 years ago. They have repainted the outside, stripped the old wallpaper,
wired the inside (the dolls will now have electric lights!) and we are
preparing to repaper it.

There are lots of cool things you can do with dolls.

Best wishes, Cara


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Mandy Ray-Jones

>If Simon is telling me a story about Halo 3, telling me the details of
something he enjoyed, watching his hands, his face, his >intense pleasure in
retelling his experience I enjoy Halo 3 even more than I did before because
of the great pleasure he >derived from it.

I have found this to be very true for me as well with regard to my son's
interest in "Wall-E". When we first saw Wall-E in the theater about 1.5
years ago, I didn't care for it. But as he has grown and as he's carried
his love for Wall-E with him, I've learned to love it, simply because he
loves it so much. My love for Wall-E now has very little to do with Wall-E
and everything to do with my love for my son. The evolution of my feels
reminds me of how, now that my mom has passed away, I've started to love and
appreciate her interests in a way that I never did when she was living
simply because they make me feel closer to her. I wish that I could have
known this when she was alive. In hindsight, if I could go back in time, I
would have embraced her interests and loved them with her, much like she
always embraced and loved my interests. I am so glad that I've learned this
lesson now, while my own daughter is still so young, so that we will be able
to go on and enjoy one another on that same level for many more years.

On Wed, Nov 4, 2009 at 10:50 PM, emiLy Q. <emilyjo@...> wrote:

>
>
> > I would have offered to go to the library check out some Barbie movies (
> that
> > are awesome by the way) and books if I coud not get her a Barbie that day
> (
> > they can be as low as $8 dollars).
>
> Yes! The Barbie movies are AWESOME! It's very weird, but they are. Cool
> music, songs, and they are getting bigger and bigger budgets -- the
> orchestras are better lately and big name celebrities are doing voices.
>
> I am not into dolls either, and my daughter isn't really either. But she
> loves the movies and to pretend around the themes in them, and we learn a
> lot of history from them too -- we have looked up a lot of stuff that we
> first saw in Barbie movies.
>
> She has a Barbie doll she got as a gift two years ago. She's played with it
> a little bit, but not much. A few weeks ago we were over at some friends'
> new house and the daughter had her Barbie collection out. They played with
> them a lot! Then, when we got home my daughter ran and got her Barbie and
> brought it out to us and said "Look! Her dress comes off!!!" She was so
> excited to be able to take the wedding dress off, and take the elaborate
> hairstyle out. LOL She made a Barbie-sized closet and a hanger out of some
> cardboard, hung the dress up in there and designed a new dress for her
> Barbie out of some blue fleece. She's made a few other skirts and things
> for the Barbie since. Dressing her up was always the most fun part about
> Barbie for me, too.
>
> -emiLy
>
>
>



--
Mandy Ray-Jones
Artsy Mamas Executive Director and Founder
http://artsymamas.org/
Child of God, Supermom, Wife, Aspiring Natural Nutritionist, Truth Seeker,
Lover of Life, Friend, and Geeky Blogger
http://www.bonafidemama.com/


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

emiLy Q.

> -=- If she develops a love for them and naturally becomes more
> and more attracted to them then sure, I'll get excited about it with
> her. I
> don't like LOTR but she does and I'm doing my best to try and get
> excited
> about it with her! It's hard but I'm trying. -=-

What DO you like? What are your interests? What movies and books do you
like to watch and read? What do you do for fun? Does your daughter like
doing anything that you also enjoy?

-emiLy

casa_divina

We own a lot of the Barbie movies and one of my favorites (and the girls' too, I think) is the 12 Dancing Princesses. My girls (4.5 and 6) love princesses, Barbies and ballet and this movie has all three! The music is wonderful- I forget which orchestra does the music, but the dancing is really nice to watch too. They are watching the Three Musketeers as I write!


When I was single and childless, and thought I knew so much!, I would proudly declare that if I had girls they would not wear pink and would not play with Barbies. Luckily I have learned a lot since then about letting my children develop their own preferences. Here I am writing about my favorite Barbie movie! I love this unschooling life!

Molly in Ecuador

Joyce Fetteroll

On Nov 7, 2009, at 8:17 PM, casa_divina wrote:

> I would proudly declare that if I had girls they would not wear
> pink and would not play with Barbies.

Yep, I've heard people say that.

And can you imagine the reaction if some mom had proudly declared her
daughter would not wear blue and would not play with trucks!

Joyce

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]