Intro new French mom
Valentine
Hello!
My name's Valentine. I'm French (I hope the mistakes won't be a problem!). I live in Bordeaux, with Mathias and our kids, Sacha (4 and 1/2) and Lily (1).
Before Sacha was born, I thought everything was simple and that we didn't need to read anything... A cesarean later and after failing breastfeeding, I realized i really needed to do something to stop hurting my child. I started doing some research on the internet and read a lot. I discovered babywearing, cosleeping... and later homeschooling then unschooling thanks to "grandir", a French unschooling list. On this list, Sylvie told me about John Holt and... Sandra Dodd. Your website, Sandra, changed my life and was a real eye-opener.
Three and a half years after Sacha, I gave birth to Lily at home, she stayed close to me almost 24/24 the first months of her life, actually until she began to crawl, breastfeeding has been and still is so simple and natural...
We have a pretty joyful life and unschooling has a lot to do with it.
But I still have to be careful sometimes not to be controlling and I also still make real efforts not to think in school terms. It's difficult after so many years of schooling and the fear of the controls we have to face here in France does not help .
That's why I've decided to introduce myself after reading you for a few months.
Thanks,
Valentine
Mom to Sacha, 4 1/2 and Lily, 1
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My name's Valentine. I'm French (I hope the mistakes won't be a problem!). I live in Bordeaux, with Mathias and our kids, Sacha (4 and 1/2) and Lily (1).
Before Sacha was born, I thought everything was simple and that we didn't need to read anything... A cesarean later and after failing breastfeeding, I realized i really needed to do something to stop hurting my child. I started doing some research on the internet and read a lot. I discovered babywearing, cosleeping... and later homeschooling then unschooling thanks to "grandir", a French unschooling list. On this list, Sylvie told me about John Holt and... Sandra Dodd. Your website, Sandra, changed my life and was a real eye-opener.
Three and a half years after Sacha, I gave birth to Lily at home, she stayed close to me almost 24/24 the first months of her life, actually until she began to crawl, breastfeeding has been and still is so simple and natural...
We have a pretty joyful life and unschooling has a lot to do with it.
But I still have to be careful sometimes not to be controlling and I also still make real efforts not to think in school terms. It's difficult after so many years of schooling and the fear of the controls we have to face here in France does not help .
That's why I've decided to introduce myself after reading you for a few months.
Thanks,
Valentine
Mom to Sacha, 4 1/2 and Lily, 1
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=- On this list, Sylvie told me about John Holt and... Sandra Dodd.
Your website, Sandra, changed my life and was a real eye-opener. =-
Thanks! Good. I'm glad you're in touch with people who can help you.
-=-I still have to be careful sometimes not to be controlling and I
also still make real efforts not to think in school terms. It's
difficult after so many years of schooling and the fear of the
controls we have to face here in France does not help .-=-
If I lived where the government was pressing for tests, I think (in
retrospect, because my kids are big now) I would figure out how low a
test score they could get and still be okay, and figure out whether
random answers would get that high a score, and if not teach to the
test just a little, but I would never "teach to the test" "for
excellence." The older I get the more I'm ashamed I was ever so
proud of my test scores. And I wish I could average mine in with
someone (everyone) who was ever afraid or ashamed by lower test scores.
If kids figure all the need to do is get a 30 or whatever, and then go
back to playing and dreaming, how much better their lives will be than
those kids who are slaving away for the 99s. Or even than those kids
who are skipping blindly into the 90th percentiles.
Playing and dreaming are pretty awesome.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Your website, Sandra, changed my life and was a real eye-opener. =-
Thanks! Good. I'm glad you're in touch with people who can help you.
-=-I still have to be careful sometimes not to be controlling and I
also still make real efforts not to think in school terms. It's
difficult after so many years of schooling and the fear of the
controls we have to face here in France does not help .-=-
If I lived where the government was pressing for tests, I think (in
retrospect, because my kids are big now) I would figure out how low a
test score they could get and still be okay, and figure out whether
random answers would get that high a score, and if not teach to the
test just a little, but I would never "teach to the test" "for
excellence." The older I get the more I'm ashamed I was ever so
proud of my test scores. And I wish I could average mine in with
someone (everyone) who was ever afraid or ashamed by lower test scores.
If kids figure all the need to do is get a 30 or whatever, and then go
back to playing and dreaming, how much better their lives will be than
those kids who are slaving away for the 99s. Or even than those kids
who are skipping blindly into the 90th percentiles.
Playing and dreaming are pretty awesome.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Valentine
what if my kid is a "late reader"? Should I do anything i can to help him read sooner so that we don't have trouble with the authorities? Or defend his right to learn at his own pace at any cost (go to court or move to another country)?
thanks!
Valentine
Mom to Sacha, 4 and Lily, 1
If I lived where the government was pressing for tests, I think (in
retrospect, because my kids are big now) I would figure out how low a
test score they could get and still be okay, and figure out whether
random answers would get that high a score, and if not teach to the
test just a little, but I would never "teach to the test" "for
excellence." The older I get the more I'm ashamed I was ever so
proud of my test scores. And I wish I could average mine in with
someone (everyone) who was ever afraid or ashamed by lower test scores.
If kids figure all the need to do is get a 30 or whatever, and then go
back to playing and dreaming, how much better their lives will be than
those kids who are slaving away for the 99s. Or even than those kids
who are skipping blindly into the 90th percentiles.
Playing and dreaming are pretty awesome.
Sandra
.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
thanks!
Valentine
Mom to Sacha, 4 and Lily, 1
If I lived where the government was pressing for tests, I think (in
retrospect, because my kids are big now) I would figure out how low a
test score they could get and still be okay, and figure out whether
random answers would get that high a score, and if not teach to the
test just a little, but I would never "teach to the test" "for
excellence." The older I get the more I'm ashamed I was ever so
proud of my test scores. And I wish I could average mine in with
someone (everyone) who was ever afraid or ashamed by lower test scores.
If kids figure all the need to do is get a 30 or whatever, and then go
back to playing and dreaming, how much better their lives will be than
those kids who are slaving away for the 99s. Or even than those kids
who are skipping blindly into the 90th percentiles.
Playing and dreaming are pretty awesome.
Sandra
.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-
what if my kid is a "late reader"? Should I do anything i can to
help him read sooner so that we don't have trouble with the
authorities? Or defend his right to learn at his own pace at any cost
(go to court or move to another country)?
thanks!-=-
Your kid is four. When's the first time there will be a test? If you
worry before he's even compulsory school age, he probably will have a
harder time learrning to read because he's in a stressful environment.
We can't tell you what you "should" do if it's going to involve you
having to go to court or move to another country.
I'd say read to him, sing with him, play with words, have words
around. Maybe if the testing season is coming, be out of the
country. I'm kind of joking, but not entirely. If you were on
vacation in another place, or travelling with the thought that you
might move to another place, you're legitimately not there. It's
possible such a dodge could be found.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
what if my kid is a "late reader"? Should I do anything i can to
help him read sooner so that we don't have trouble with the
authorities? Or defend his right to learn at his own pace at any cost
(go to court or move to another country)?
thanks!-=-
Your kid is four. When's the first time there will be a test? If you
worry before he's even compulsory school age, he probably will have a
harder time learrning to read because he's in a stressful environment.
We can't tell you what you "should" do if it's going to involve you
having to go to court or move to another country.
I'd say read to him, sing with him, play with words, have words
around. Maybe if the testing season is coming, be out of the
country. I'm kind of joking, but not entirely. If you were on
vacation in another place, or travelling with the thought that you
might move to another place, you're legitimately not there. It's
possible such a dodge could be found.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Valentine
I'm not worried that much. I was just wondering what could be the best thing for our family. But you're right, there's no need to waste time on that right now. Thanks for the idea of being out of the country though!
Valentine
--- En date de : Jeu 15.10.09, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> a écrit :
De: Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
Objet: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Intro new French mom
À: [email protected]
Date: Jeudi 15 Octobre 2009, 15h38
-=-
what if my kid is a "late reader"? Should I do anything i can to
help him read sooner so that we don't have trouble with the
authorities? Or defend his right to learn at his own pace at any cost
(go to court or move to another country)?
thanks!-=-
Your kid is four. When's the first time there will be a test? If you
worry before he's even compulsory school age, he probably will have a
harder time learrning to read because he's in a stressful environment.
We can't tell you what you "should" do if it's going to involve you
having to go to court or move to another country.
I'd say read to him, sing with him, play with words, have words
around. Maybe if the testing season is coming, be out of the
country. I'm kind of joking, but not entirely. If you were on
vacation in another place, or travelling with the thought that you
might move to another place, you're legitimately not there. It's
possible such a dodge could be found.
Sandra
.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Valentine
--- En date de : Jeu 15.10.09, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> a écrit :
De: Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
Objet: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Intro new French mom
À: [email protected]
Date: Jeudi 15 Octobre 2009, 15h38
-=-
what if my kid is a "late reader"? Should I do anything i can to
help him read sooner so that we don't have trouble with the
authorities? Or defend his right to learn at his own pace at any cost
(go to court or move to another country)?
thanks!-=-
Your kid is four. When's the first time there will be a test? If you
worry before he's even compulsory school age, he probably will have a
harder time learrning to read because he's in a stressful environment.
We can't tell you what you "should" do if it's going to involve you
having to go to court or move to another country.
I'd say read to him, sing with him, play with words, have words
around. Maybe if the testing season is coming, be out of the
country. I'm kind of joking, but not entirely. If you were on
vacation in another place, or travelling with the thought that you
might move to another place, you're legitimately not there. It's
possible such a dodge could be found.
Sandra
.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
zurro
Hi Valentine,
Welcome to the forum :) this is a fabulous place for information! You should think about ordering Sandra's new book which is am awesome resource.
My husband is French as well and I will be emailing you off list so we can chat and share resources because sometimes it helps when he is the one who can read about unschooling.
anyway, welcome again :)
Laura
http://arippleintheocean.typepad.com
Welcome to the forum :) this is a fabulous place for information! You should think about ordering Sandra's new book which is am awesome resource.
My husband is French as well and I will be emailing you off list so we can chat and share resources because sometimes it helps when he is the one who can read about unschooling.
anyway, welcome again :)
Laura
http://arippleintheocean.typepad.com
--- In [email protected], Valentine <matsacha33@...> wrote:
>
> I'm not worried that much. I was just wondering what could be the best thing for our family. But you're right, there's no need to waste time on that right now. Thanks for the idea of being out of the country though!
>
> Valentine
>
> --- En date de : Jeu 15.10.09, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> a écrit :
>
>
> De: Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
> Objet: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Intro new French mom
> À: [email protected]
> Date: Jeudi 15 Octobre 2009, 15h38
>
>
>
>
>
>
> -=-
> what if my kid is a "late reader"? Should I do anything i can to
> help him read sooner so that we don't have trouble with the
> authorities? Or defend his right to learn at his own pace at any cost
> (go to court or move to another country)?
> thanks!-=-
>
> Your kid is four. When's the first time there will be a test? If you
> worry before he's even compulsory school age, he probably will have a
> harder time learrning to read because he's in a stressful environment.
>
> We can't tell you what you "should" do if it's going to involve you
> having to go to court or move to another country.
>
> I'd say read to him, sing with him, play with words, have words
> around. Maybe if the testing season is coming, be out of the
> country. I'm kind of joking, but not entirely. If you were on
> vacation in another place, or travelling with the thought that you
> might move to another place, you're legitimately not there. It's
> possible such a dodge could be found.
>
> Sandra
>
>
>
> .
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-
My husband is French as well and I will be emailing you off list so we
can chat and share resources because sometimes it helps when he is the
one who can read about unschooling. -=-
Links here will lead to more, but here's my French collection:
http://sandradodd.com/french
Thanks for the kind words about the book!
http://sandradodd.com/bigbook
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My husband is French as well and I will be emailing you off list so we
can chat and share resources because sometimes it helps when he is the
one who can read about unschooling. -=-
Links here will lead to more, but here's my French collection:
http://sandradodd.com/french
Thanks for the kind words about the book!
http://sandradodd.com/bigbook
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
thecugals
--- In [email protected], Valentine <matsacha33@...> wrote:
This is my firt time posting. I started on a path to unschooling last year, but was very worried about the "authorities". I live in Pennsylvania, where unschooled kids are required to take a standardized test in 5th grade (plus 2 other years). I get to decide when my son is in 5th grade, so I wrote him down as being in 4th last year in order to avoid giving him the test. I was so nervous that if he didn't do well, someone from the school district would tell me he wasn't getting a proper education and say I had to send him to school. Then I met a wonderful unschooling mom who has been an "evaluator" (another PA requirement) for about 20 years. She told me not to worry, and to have my son take the test with no prior preparation. This is what always happens, in her experience: If he scores in the 90s, someone from the school will invite us in, give us a tour of their "wonderful" facilities, and tell us that they think our son would benefit from attending school. If he scores in the 20s, they'll call me in and tell me how wonderful it is that I care enough about my son to give him the individual attention he needs. If he scores somewhere in the middle they won't take notice of us. In other words, the schools want the high scorers because it makes them look good; the low scorers they can do without. This was a tremendous relief for me. In France the situation might not be the same, but you might find similar relief by finding someone who's been there and done that in France.
Beth Cugal
>Hello Valentine (and everyone),
>
> what if my kid is a "late reader"? Should I do anything i can to help him read sooner so that we don't have trouble with the authorities?
This is my firt time posting. I started on a path to unschooling last year, but was very worried about the "authorities". I live in Pennsylvania, where unschooled kids are required to take a standardized test in 5th grade (plus 2 other years). I get to decide when my son is in 5th grade, so I wrote him down as being in 4th last year in order to avoid giving him the test. I was so nervous that if he didn't do well, someone from the school district would tell me he wasn't getting a proper education and say I had to send him to school. Then I met a wonderful unschooling mom who has been an "evaluator" (another PA requirement) for about 20 years. She told me not to worry, and to have my son take the test with no prior preparation. This is what always happens, in her experience: If he scores in the 90s, someone from the school will invite us in, give us a tour of their "wonderful" facilities, and tell us that they think our son would benefit from attending school. If he scores in the 20s, they'll call me in and tell me how wonderful it is that I care enough about my son to give him the individual attention he needs. If he scores somewhere in the middle they won't take notice of us. In other words, the schools want the high scorers because it makes them look good; the low scorers they can do without. This was a tremendous relief for me. In France the situation might not be the same, but you might find similar relief by finding someone who's been there and done that in France.
Beth Cugal
Sandra Dodd
-=-Then I met a wonderful unschooling mom who has been an
"evaluator" (another PA requirement) for about 20 years. She told me
not to worry, and to have my son take the test with no prior
preparation. This is what always happens, in her experience: If he
scores in the 90s, someone from the school will invite us in, give us
a tour of their "wonderful" facilities, and tell us that they think
our son would benefit from attending school. If he scores in the 20s,
they'll call me in and tell me how wonderful it is that I care enough
about my son to give him the individual attention he needs. If he
scores somewhere in the middle they won't take notice of us. In other
words, the schools want the high scorers because it makes them look
good; the low scorers they can do without. -=-
Beth, this is AWESOME!!!
When Kirby was little, and would've been tested in third grade (when
New Mexico had testing requirements for three different grades, which
they changed to different grades and then abandoned), the state
homeschooling group was pushing HARD to get all the kids tested. I
told one of the Christian-curriculum parents who was pushing Kirby
couldn't read and wouldn't test very well at all. I guess a lightbulb
went off and they stopped trying to gather in all homeschoolers to
test for absolute sure. The group reorganized in those days (not
because of that) and then the Christian homeschoolers who used ABeka
and Sonlight and did spelling bees and geography competitions all were
sure to have their kids tested, and they turned their backs on the
rest of us, which was great! More peace for the rest of us.
What they wanted was a big show of high test scores on the
standardized test. They were teaching to the test. They figured
(rightly, I must say) that if their scores were above average, as a
group, that the state (nor any representatives of any sub-section
thereof) wouldn't come to see what they were doing. And what they
were doing, generally, was teaching bogus science, re-written history
and some not-so-subtle racism and assorted other prejudices. Those
are the things that aren't on standardized tests!
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
"evaluator" (another PA requirement) for about 20 years. She told me
not to worry, and to have my son take the test with no prior
preparation. This is what always happens, in her experience: If he
scores in the 90s, someone from the school will invite us in, give us
a tour of their "wonderful" facilities, and tell us that they think
our son would benefit from attending school. If he scores in the 20s,
they'll call me in and tell me how wonderful it is that I care enough
about my son to give him the individual attention he needs. If he
scores somewhere in the middle they won't take notice of us. In other
words, the schools want the high scorers because it makes them look
good; the low scorers they can do without. -=-
Beth, this is AWESOME!!!
When Kirby was little, and would've been tested in third grade (when
New Mexico had testing requirements for three different grades, which
they changed to different grades and then abandoned), the state
homeschooling group was pushing HARD to get all the kids tested. I
told one of the Christian-curriculum parents who was pushing Kirby
couldn't read and wouldn't test very well at all. I guess a lightbulb
went off and they stopped trying to gather in all homeschoolers to
test for absolute sure. The group reorganized in those days (not
because of that) and then the Christian homeschoolers who used ABeka
and Sonlight and did spelling bees and geography competitions all were
sure to have their kids tested, and they turned their backs on the
rest of us, which was great! More peace for the rest of us.
What they wanted was a big show of high test scores on the
standardized test. They were teaching to the test. They figured
(rightly, I must say) that if their scores were above average, as a
group, that the state (nor any representatives of any sub-section
thereof) wouldn't come to see what they were doing. And what they
were doing, generally, was teaching bogus science, re-written history
and some not-so-subtle racism and assorted other prejudices. Those
are the things that aren't on standardized tests!
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]