New and more Food fun
Gabriela Montoya
Hello, Pretty new here, I am Gabi 37, wife to sweetest husband Jesse, mama to three girls ages 11, 2, and 1.
I've been trying some things. Being present with my kids is great and seems to result in more peace and fun and less stress. I get anxious and I know my kids totally pick up on it. As I work toward better methods of being and living my anxiety level has gone way down. I feel like a different person. I love it.
In the food area my two little ones are great, eat great, I don't feel like there are any issues. My oldest is a little bit picky, probably from me feeding her not enough variety as a youngster and while I used to have the "you have to try it" rule, I have given that up too. My hubby is concerned her eating habits and pickiness are going to rub off or influence the babies. He also criticized her about being picky. I want to back off and let her make her own choices, he's afraid the younger ones will then make bad choices because they are following her lead. I don't know how to approach this. Showing my husband an article by Sandra will probably not convince him. He will claim he could find articles about forcing kids to eat what's in front of them (actually he did claim), no special treatment.
This discussion started because I "let" the oldest have a cheese sandwich instead of a tuna sandwich like everyone else was eating. The two yr old then asked for cheese, I could tell he didn't want to "give in" even though he added cheese to his second tuna sandwich. I said I think she could have cheese with her sandwich too, then the one yr old wanted cheese too, I gave her some too.
He's very concerned but willing to let me take the lead on the food "rules" or lack thereof because I am the one who does most of the cooking 99% :)
I want to find a way to reassure him.
If anyone has any ideas? I'm open.
Gabi
I've been trying some things. Being present with my kids is great and seems to result in more peace and fun and less stress. I get anxious and I know my kids totally pick up on it. As I work toward better methods of being and living my anxiety level has gone way down. I feel like a different person. I love it.
In the food area my two little ones are great, eat great, I don't feel like there are any issues. My oldest is a little bit picky, probably from me feeding her not enough variety as a youngster and while I used to have the "you have to try it" rule, I have given that up too. My hubby is concerned her eating habits and pickiness are going to rub off or influence the babies. He also criticized her about being picky. I want to back off and let her make her own choices, he's afraid the younger ones will then make bad choices because they are following her lead. I don't know how to approach this. Showing my husband an article by Sandra will probably not convince him. He will claim he could find articles about forcing kids to eat what's in front of them (actually he did claim), no special treatment.
This discussion started because I "let" the oldest have a cheese sandwich instead of a tuna sandwich like everyone else was eating. The two yr old then asked for cheese, I could tell he didn't want to "give in" even though he added cheese to his second tuna sandwich. I said I think she could have cheese with her sandwich too, then the one yr old wanted cheese too, I gave her some too.
He's very concerned but willing to let me take the lead on the food "rules" or lack thereof because I am the one who does most of the cooking 99% :)
I want to find a way to reassure him.
If anyone has any ideas? I'm open.
Gabi
Sandra Dodd
-= Showing my husband an article by Sandra will probably not convince
him. -=-
My section on eating is FULL of things by other moms who have changed
from controls to choices.
It's not "an article by Sandra."
Joyce's site has quite a bit on eating, too.
http://joyfullyrejoycing.com
http://sandradodd.com/food
This might be a good one for starters:
http://sandradodd.com/eating/sweets.html
-= He will claim he could find articles about forcing kids to eat
what's in front of them (actually he did claim), no special treatment.
-=-
Ask him to bring the articles. Don't do it in a challenging way, just
in as neutral a way as you can. And then read the articles he
brings. And think about them. Think about where those ideas come
from, and why. Is it from the days of The Depression, when kids had
to eat their potatoes and biscuits? Is it from the idea of training
sinners to be obedient to parental commands? I don't know what
those particular articles might bring to mind.
If you can find the principles behind the ideas you're considering
you'll be discussing principles rather than other people's opinions.
If you could find a way to meet other unschooling families, that might
help.
-=-This discussion started because I "let" the oldest have a cheese
sandwich instead of a tuna sandwich like everyone else was eating. The
two yr old then asked for cheese, I could tell he didn't want to "give
in" even though he added cheese to his second tuna sandwich. I said I
think she could have cheese with her sandwich too, then the one yr old
wanted cheese too, I gave her some too. -=-
One way you might see that problem is to talk with your husband about
what the purpose of eating is. If the priority is getting protein,
carbohydrates and vegetables into people, it's pretty easily
doable. If the purpose is for kids to learn to take what they're
given without complaining, that's outside of the realm of peaceful
parenting.
It might help to tell him you would like to have a really good
relationship with the children, and that every "no" erodes the
strength of that connection.
http://sandradodd.com/yes
I've suggested sometimes that people should think of babies as having
a limited number of "no"s that they can take, or for the parent to
consider she has a deck of "no" cards in a limited number. 300,
maybe. And if you use them all up in the first year or two, the kids
will stop listening to you. If you use them sparingly, they're more
powerful. If the child gets grown before you've used up all your
store of "no," you all win.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
him. -=-
My section on eating is FULL of things by other moms who have changed
from controls to choices.
It's not "an article by Sandra."
Joyce's site has quite a bit on eating, too.
http://joyfullyrejoycing.com
http://sandradodd.com/food
This might be a good one for starters:
http://sandradodd.com/eating/sweets.html
-= He will claim he could find articles about forcing kids to eat
what's in front of them (actually he did claim), no special treatment.
-=-
Ask him to bring the articles. Don't do it in a challenging way, just
in as neutral a way as you can. And then read the articles he
brings. And think about them. Think about where those ideas come
from, and why. Is it from the days of The Depression, when kids had
to eat their potatoes and biscuits? Is it from the idea of training
sinners to be obedient to parental commands? I don't know what
those particular articles might bring to mind.
If you can find the principles behind the ideas you're considering
you'll be discussing principles rather than other people's opinions.
If you could find a way to meet other unschooling families, that might
help.
-=-This discussion started because I "let" the oldest have a cheese
sandwich instead of a tuna sandwich like everyone else was eating. The
two yr old then asked for cheese, I could tell he didn't want to "give
in" even though he added cheese to his second tuna sandwich. I said I
think she could have cheese with her sandwich too, then the one yr old
wanted cheese too, I gave her some too. -=-
One way you might see that problem is to talk with your husband about
what the purpose of eating is. If the priority is getting protein,
carbohydrates and vegetables into people, it's pretty easily
doable. If the purpose is for kids to learn to take what they're
given without complaining, that's outside of the realm of peaceful
parenting.
It might help to tell him you would like to have a really good
relationship with the children, and that every "no" erodes the
strength of that connection.
http://sandradodd.com/yes
I've suggested sometimes that people should think of babies as having
a limited number of "no"s that they can take, or for the parent to
consider she has a deck of "no" cards in a limited number. 300,
maybe. And if you use them all up in the first year or two, the kids
will stop listening to you. If you use them sparingly, they're more
powerful. If the child gets grown before you've used up all your
store of "no," you all win.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
On 4/11/2009 7:41 PM, Gabriela Montoya wrote:
-pam
> He will claim he could find articles about forcing kids to eat what's in front of them (actually he did claim),I'd like to see those articles. I'd be surprised to find any.
-pam
Joanna Murphy
--- In [email protected], Pam Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...> wrote:
Joanna
>I would too. Conventional parenting these days seems to recommend backing off and trying to find ways for food to not be a power struggle. Not an unschooling approach, but also not a hardline approach, for sure.
>
>
> On 4/11/2009 7:41 PM, Gabriela Montoya wrote:
> > He will claim he could find articles about forcing kids to eat what's in front of them (actually he did claim),
>
> I'd like to see those articles. I'd be surprised to find any.
>
Joanna
[email protected]
>>>> This discussion started because I "let" the oldest have a cheesesandwich instead of a tuna sandwich like everyone else was eating. The
two yr old then asked for cheese, I could tell he didn't want to "give
in" even though he added cheese to his second tuna sandwich. I said I
think she could have cheese with her sandwich too, then the one yr old
wanted cheese too, I gave her some too. <<<<
What if it were Jesse who wanted cheese on his sandwich after the tuna
was fixed and he was totally not in the mood for tuna. He could save a
portion of tuna in the fridge for later should he want it. Or someone
else might like to eat it. Is he worried about waste?
Is it because children aren't supposed to change course? Adults change
course all the time in ways that many kids aren't allowed to. Yet
children are growing into adults and everyday they get closer to
adulthood. When is it ok for them to start making choices?
~Katherine
Deborah
Let them eat cake! : the case against controlling what your children eat : the pediatrician's guide to safe and healthy food and growth
by Ronald E Kleinman; Michael S Jellinek; Julie Houston
If you can't find this book in your library, it's fairly cheaply available through used sellers (search on Amazon or other sites). Why not to get into power struggles over food, written by a pediatrician, likely to be given more credence by a stuck partner.
The current rage in books about food for children is how to trick them into eating good foods. Ick, but even there the emphasis is a long way from forcing.
Deborah in IL
by Ronald E Kleinman; Michael S Jellinek; Julie Houston
If you can't find this book in your library, it's fairly cheaply available through used sellers (search on Amazon or other sites). Why not to get into power struggles over food, written by a pediatrician, likely to be given more credence by a stuck partner.
The current rage in books about food for children is how to trick them into eating good foods. Ick, but even there the emphasis is a long way from forcing.
Deborah in IL
On 4/11/2009 7:41 PM, Gabriela Montoya wrote:
> > > He will claim he could find articles about forcing kids to eat what's in front of them (actually he did claim),
> >
> > I'd like to see those articles. I'd be surprised to find any.
> >
> I would too. Conventional parenting these days seems to recommend backing off and trying to find ways for food to not be a power struggle. Not an unschooling approach, but also not a hardline approach, for sure.
>
> Joanna
>
Jenny C
>feel like there are any issues. My oldest is a little bit picky,
>>> In the food area my two little ones are great, eat great, I don't
probably from me feeding her not enough variety as a youngster and while
I used to have the "you have to try it" rule, I have given that up too.
>>>Some kids are more adventurous with food than others. I doubt that it
had anything to do with variety that you may or may not have given your
daughter. My oldest daughter ate very little variety as a youngster,
and still doesn't vary much, while my younger daughter has tried just
about everything put before her because it was interesting and fun for
her to do so. I'm glad you let go the "try it" rule. Sometimes people
can tell wether or not they will like something before they even taste
it based on how it looks and smells. Those senses are all connected.
>>>My hubby is concerned her eating habits and pickiness are going torub off or influence the babies. He also criticized her about being
picky. I want to back off and let her make her own choices, he's afraid
the younger ones will then make bad choices because they are following
her lead.>>>
Why is this about the younger ones. I understand how little ones copy
the older ones, I get that, but by looking at her eating habits through
this lense, you are ignoring the 11 yr old's needs by allowing the
eating habits of the little ones to trump hers. Older kids can be
really good examples for younger ones for sure, I've seen that to be
true, but that doesn't mean they have to uphold a certain standard all
the time just to be a good example and role model. That's way too much
pressure for an 11 yr old kid!
>>> This discussion started because I "let" the oldest have a cheesesandwich instead of a tuna sandwich like everyone else was eating. The
two yr old then asked for cheese, I could tell he didn't want to "give
in" even though he added cheese to his second tuna sandwich. I said I
think she could have cheese with her sandwich too, then the one yr old
wanted cheese too, I gave her some too. >>>
I have a couple of thoughts on this... the first is, why not get food
for the older kid first and then when the younger ones see what she is
eating, you can offer them that. Secondly, why couldn't you give some
choices before making them food, and thirdly, if you make something like
a tuna sandwhich, and they change their minds, why can't you wrap those
up and put them in the fridge for the next time you run and errand and
need to pack some snacks. How cool that would be, to already have stuff
ready made up, and a tuna sandwhich could sit wrapped in the fridge for
at least a couple of days and still be good to eat. Even if they didn't
end up eating them, it could be a nice easy snack for any other person
in the house, including yourself or your husband.
The last thing I wanted to say is this; An 11 yr old girl that is picky
and not wanting to be eating certain foods shouldn't be forced to do
that. It's an age where a girl is examing herself and who she is and
what her body is like and making connections about food and body image
and all of that. By controlling and forcing her to be or eat a certain
way, you are denying her the her own judgement, which is really really
important for her to grow into the woman she will be. Making good
choices doesn't happen overnight, it is something that kids work on
doing better based on how they feel after the choices they have made.
Don't add extra emotion to that, don't add extra baggage to that! You
can do soooo much damage to a girl by doing that!
Gabriela Montoya
Thanks for the great words everyone,
Sandra, I have sent some links to my husband. Thanks for the tip on principles vs. opinion, may come in handy.
Out of curiosity I googled kids and eating and got some pretty varied advice on food and kids, many advise keeping all "bad" foods away from kids. So that stuff is out there.
Luckily my hubby doesn't want that, only wants to make sure kids are eating healthy.
Deborah in IL, I am looking at the library tomorrow for that book.
"Older kids can be
really good examples for younger ones for sure, I've seen that to be
true, but that doesn't mean they have to uphold a certain standard all
the time just to be a good example and role model. That's way too much
pressure for an 11 yr old kid!"
I completely agree with this too, myself being oldest of six I still feel that pressure my parents used to put on me to be a "good example".
I love the video link on the joyfullyrejoycing it is a perfect example of things I want to avoid, kids viewing some foods as taboo, eating when not hungry, etc.
Thanks again,
one day at a time,
Gabi in NM
Sandra, I have sent some links to my husband. Thanks for the tip on principles vs. opinion, may come in handy.
Out of curiosity I googled kids and eating and got some pretty varied advice on food and kids, many advise keeping all "bad" foods away from kids. So that stuff is out there.
Luckily my hubby doesn't want that, only wants to make sure kids are eating healthy.
Deborah in IL, I am looking at the library tomorrow for that book.
"Older kids can be
really good examples for younger ones for sure, I've seen that to be
true, but that doesn't mean they have to uphold a certain standard all
the time just to be a good example and role model. That's way too much
pressure for an 11 yr old kid!"
I completely agree with this too, myself being oldest of six I still feel that pressure my parents used to put on me to be a "good example".
I love the video link on the joyfullyrejoycing it is a perfect example of things I want to avoid, kids viewing some foods as taboo, eating when not hungry, etc.
Thanks again,
one day at a time,
Gabi in NM
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-Out of curiosity I googled kids and eating and got some pretty
varied advice on food and kids, many advise keeping all "bad" foods
away from kids. So that stuff is out there. =-
Of course it's out there, but people need to use their critical
thinking skills and their own logic and knowledge to decide which
advice to take.
Unschoolers aren't selling this, and we're not offering a guarantee.
We (many of us, VERY many of us) are sharing freely what we have
learned by doing this. We defend it every day; we explain it all the
time. We're not making house calls, though. We're not door-to-door
missionaries. Nobody loses their commision if someone rejects these
ideas. <g>
I've already done what I was going to do with my kids. The results
are great. Even though Holly will be 18 this year, I'm still helping
people understand this, because it seems a good way to make the world
a better place.
The list is for discussing unschooling. The rest of the world is for
discussing whatever else. If your husband has a book or article or
expert or website he wants to hold up for you to consider, then let
him find one; don't do your part AND his part. If he finds
something that's based on research and isn't just about shaming and
controlling kids, you should consider what he finds. If he can't find
any, that's fine too.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
varied advice on food and kids, many advise keeping all "bad" foods
away from kids. So that stuff is out there. =-
Of course it's out there, but people need to use their critical
thinking skills and their own logic and knowledge to decide which
advice to take.
Unschoolers aren't selling this, and we're not offering a guarantee.
We (many of us, VERY many of us) are sharing freely what we have
learned by doing this. We defend it every day; we explain it all the
time. We're not making house calls, though. We're not door-to-door
missionaries. Nobody loses their commision if someone rejects these
ideas. <g>
I've already done what I was going to do with my kids. The results
are great. Even though Holly will be 18 this year, I'm still helping
people understand this, because it seems a good way to make the world
a better place.
The list is for discussing unschooling. The rest of the world is for
discussing whatever else. If your husband has a book or article or
expert or website he wants to hold up for you to consider, then let
him find one; don't do your part AND his part. If he finds
something that's based on research and isn't just about shaming and
controlling kids, you should consider what he finds. If he can't find
any, that's fine too.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
On 4/13/2009 9:21 PM, Sandra Dodd wrote:
forcing kids to eat certain foods. I was thinking of how the school
cafeteria in my elementary school operated. We had only a "tray lunch" -
there were no options. (And it was 25 cents plus 5 cents for a carton of
milk.) The tray lunch typically had a meat, a starch, a vegetable, and a
fruit. Typical would be meatloaf, mashed potatoes, broccoli, and fruit
cocktail. We were not allowed to leave the table until we'd raised our
hand and gotten permission from the "lunch lady." The lunch lady would
not dismiss us to go out and play until all our vegetables were eaten. I
used to stuff mine in my milk carton, but the problem was that she would
also shake that, to make sure we drank all of our milk. So I'd try to
smash the veggies down with my straw so that they wouldn't shake (and I
couldn't put much in there because they'd be heavy and she'd realize
there was something in the carton). I threw up in the cafeteria once,
gagging while trying to swallow a bit of canned green beans.
I don't think there are many articles out there that promote that kind
of approach, these days. As Deb said, the trend is toward keeping lots
of healthy foods on hand and trying to sneak them into foods the kids
are willing to eat - ground up zucchini in spaghetti sauce, for example.
-pam
> -=-Out of curiosity I googled kids and eating and got some prettyI misunderstood. I thought he was claiming he could find articles about
> varied advice on food and kids, many advise keeping all "bad" foods
> away from kids. So that stuff is out there. =-
>
forcing kids to eat certain foods. I was thinking of how the school
cafeteria in my elementary school operated. We had only a "tray lunch" -
there were no options. (And it was 25 cents plus 5 cents for a carton of
milk.) The tray lunch typically had a meat, a starch, a vegetable, and a
fruit. Typical would be meatloaf, mashed potatoes, broccoli, and fruit
cocktail. We were not allowed to leave the table until we'd raised our
hand and gotten permission from the "lunch lady." The lunch lady would
not dismiss us to go out and play until all our vegetables were eaten. I
used to stuff mine in my milk carton, but the problem was that she would
also shake that, to make sure we drank all of our milk. So I'd try to
smash the veggies down with my straw so that they wouldn't shake (and I
couldn't put much in there because they'd be heavy and she'd realize
there was something in the carton). I threw up in the cafeteria once,
gagging while trying to swallow a bit of canned green beans.
I don't think there are many articles out there that promote that kind
of approach, these days. As Deb said, the trend is toward keeping lots
of healthy foods on hand and trying to sneak them into foods the kids
are willing to eat - ground up zucchini in spaghetti sauce, for example.
-pam
[email protected]
On Apr 14, 2009, at 1:01 AM, Pam Sorooshian wrote:
are willing to eat - ground up zucchini in spaghetti sauce, for
example. <<<<
And with Karl I've found that's not a good idea. It backfires because
Karl is hyperaware of food, has a very sensitive sense of smell and
taste... so basically that means he's a picky eater. I was too and can
totally understand where he's coming from.
The times he has eaten food that wasn't as advertised are very rare,
like when he walks up to things I'm cooking and asks what it is, and I
give a hurried description, then he wants to try some of it and it
turns out to have onions in it, which I forgot to mention. He
despises onion at this point in his life. I used to and now I LUV it.
See, I wasn't thinking Karl was curious to try it just vaguely
wondering what I'm doing in the kitchen.
I would guess it's the opposite of gaining in value by being rare when
"yucky" stuff is too present in my and Brian's food.
I want healthy food to be more freely available and I have learned that
for Karl this means I want food to be as accurately identified as
possible. No slipping in a little something here. It would backfire
the majority of the time.
~Katherine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>>>> As Deb said, the trend is toward keeping lotsof healthy foods on hand and trying to sneak them into foods the kids
are willing to eat - ground up zucchini in spaghetti sauce, for
example. <<<<
And with Karl I've found that's not a good idea. It backfires because
Karl is hyperaware of food, has a very sensitive sense of smell and
taste... so basically that means he's a picky eater. I was too and can
totally understand where he's coming from.
The times he has eaten food that wasn't as advertised are very rare,
like when he walks up to things I'm cooking and asks what it is, and I
give a hurried description, then he wants to try some of it and it
turns out to have onions in it, which I forgot to mention. He
despises onion at this point in his life. I used to and now I LUV it.
See, I wasn't thinking Karl was curious to try it just vaguely
wondering what I'm doing in the kitchen.
I would guess it's the opposite of gaining in value by being rare when
"yucky" stuff is too present in my and Brian's food.
I want healthy food to be more freely available and I have learned that
for Karl this means I want food to be as accurately identified as
possible. No slipping in a little something here. It would backfire
the majority of the time.
~Katherine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
I wasn't suggesting this, I was saying that this is more what
conventional parenting is like these days, rather than the older idea,
that was conventional when I was a kid, of forcing kids to eat their
vegetables, etc.
-pam
conventional parenting is like these days, rather than the older idea,
that was conventional when I was a kid, of forcing kids to eat their
vegetables, etc.
-pam
On 4/14/2009 5:40 AM, katherand@... wrote:
> On Apr 14, 2009, at 1:01 AM, Pam Sorooshian wrote:
> >>>> As Deb said, the trend is toward keeping lots
> of healthy foods on hand and trying to sneak them into foods the kids
> are willing to eat - ground up zucchini in spaghetti sauce, for
> example.<<<<
>
> And with Karl I've found that's not a good idea. It backfires because
> Karl is hyperaware of food, has a very sensitive sense of smell and
> taste... so basically that means he's a picky eater. I was too and can
> totally understand where he's coming from.
>
Verna
--- In [email protected], Pam Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...> wrote:
I also believe their is often a reason kids wont eat certain foods. For example my son wouldnt eat bananas or eggs when he was little. I could have tried to sneak them in foods but we didnt. Later when we did allergy testing for peanuts and milk we found out he was allergic to bananas and eggs. He knew it before we did.
>I think the sneaky thing backfires too because then the kids dont trust you and wont try anything new then. I have been known to put things like carrots in my spaghetti sauce but i dont sneak them in. I always throw a few baby carrots in our smoothies, my kids think it is just part of the recipe because we have always done it.
> I wasn't suggesting this, I was saying that this is more what
> conventional parenting is like these days, rather than the older idea,
> that was conventional when I was a kid, of forcing kids to eat their
> vegetables, etc.
>
> -pam
>
I also believe their is often a reason kids wont eat certain foods. For example my son wouldnt eat bananas or eggs when he was little. I could have tried to sneak them in foods but we didnt. Later when we did allergy testing for peanuts and milk we found out he was allergic to bananas and eggs. He knew it before we did.
Jenny C
> >>>> As Deb said, the trend is toward keeping lotsMy kids ALWAYS ask what I've put into a soup or sauce before they are
> of healthy foods on hand and trying to sneak them into foods the kids
> are willing to eat - ground up zucchini in spaghetti sauce, for
> example. <<<<
>
> And with Karl I've found that's not a good idea. It backfires because
> Karl is hyperaware of food, has a very sensitive sense of smell and
> taste... so basically that means he's a picky eater. I was too and can
> totally understand where he's coming from.
willing to even consider eating it. If I've put something in it that
they are iffy about, I'll explain why I've done so. This happens with
bell peppers a lot around our house. So, I'll say something like,
"chile tastes really good with bell peppers and I've cooked them down so
much that you won't be able to pick them out as an individual flavor,
and I didn't put a lot in because I know you don't like it to overwhelm
the flavor".
If I'm honest and accurate about what I'm doing, they are way more
likely to try it and enjoy it.
[email protected]
Yes. I know. I was taking the idea further into unschooling
principles. *Not sneaking,* is unconventional parenting for many
people. That post is meant for anyone who might not have thought
through how sneaking "good" stuff into our kids food might backfire. I
have accidentally shot myself in the foot. Some people do it on
purpose not realizing that they might not "get away with it."
Some people might not care and if it backfires then they're ready to
blame the kids for being "stubborn." (Hmmm.... worth considering if
we want the kids to have that kind of thing modeled to them.) I know
people who do it and then boast that their kids didn't know some
ingredient was in the food, whispering and chortling behind their
backs.
It seems to me something to think about in terms of creating more trust
between parents and children. To me, that's important for creating a
sweeter unschooling home environment, a place of comfort, a haven for
all who live there.
~Katherine
principles. *Not sneaking,* is unconventional parenting for many
people. That post is meant for anyone who might not have thought
through how sneaking "good" stuff into our kids food might backfire. I
have accidentally shot myself in the foot. Some people do it on
purpose not realizing that they might not "get away with it."
Some people might not care and if it backfires then they're ready to
blame the kids for being "stubborn." (Hmmm.... worth considering if
we want the kids to have that kind of thing modeled to them.) I know
people who do it and then boast that their kids didn't know some
ingredient was in the food, whispering and chortling behind their
backs.
It seems to me something to think about in terms of creating more trust
between parents and children. To me, that's important for creating a
sweeter unschooling home environment, a place of comfort, a haven for
all who live there.
~Katherine
On Apr 14, 2009, at 10:23 AM, Pam Sorooshian wrote:
> I wasn't suggesting this, I was saying that this is more what
> conventional parenting is like these days, rather than the older idea,
> that was conventional when I was a kid, of forcing kids to eat their
> vegetables, etc.
>
> -pam
>
> On 4/14/2009 5:40 AM, katherand@... wrote:
>> On Apr 14, 2009, at 1:01 AM, Pam Sorooshian wrote:
>>>>>> As Deb said, the trend is toward keeping lots
>> of healthy foods on hand and trying to sneak them into foods the kids
>> are willing to eat - ground up zucchini in spaghetti sauce, for
>> example.<<<<
Meghan Anderson-Coates
<<<trying to sneak them into foods the kids
are willing to eat - ground up zucchini in spaghetti sauce, for example.>>>
LOL! Tamzin (14yo) asks me to do this <g>.
She has become a vegetarian and is very into eating 'healthy' foods. She's spent ages researching vegetarian eating and food combining, and has decided she wants to implement many of the ideas she's found.
She doesn't like zucchini by itself, but wants me to grate it into spaghetti sauce (along with other veggies).
She has asked me to make her a smoothie with tofu, but not to tell her I'm putting it in until after she's had it.
She says she doesn't want to be biased before she tries it, so she doesn't want to know about it beforehand. Like a blind taste test. So I'm trying out new ways to sneak stuff into her food (but not every time), then tell her what the 'secret' ingredient is after she's eaten. I only do one ingredient at a time, so if she doesn't like it, we know what it is she doesn't like. Although, I have to say, there really isn't much she doesn't like anyway, so it's an adventure :-)
Meghan
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought
without accepting it" ~ Aristotle
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
are willing to eat - ground up zucchini in spaghetti sauce, for example.>>>
LOL! Tamzin (14yo) asks me to do this <g>.
She has become a vegetarian and is very into eating 'healthy' foods. She's spent ages researching vegetarian eating and food combining, and has decided she wants to implement many of the ideas she's found.
She doesn't like zucchini by itself, but wants me to grate it into spaghetti sauce (along with other veggies).
She has asked me to make her a smoothie with tofu, but not to tell her I'm putting it in until after she's had it.
She says she doesn't want to be biased before she tries it, so she doesn't want to know about it beforehand. Like a blind taste test. So I'm trying out new ways to sneak stuff into her food (but not every time), then tell her what the 'secret' ingredient is after she's eaten. I only do one ingredient at a time, so if she doesn't like it, we know what it is she doesn't like. Although, I have to say, there really isn't much she doesn't like anyway, so it's an adventure :-)
Meghan
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought
without accepting it" ~ Aristotle
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
>>>> She has asked me to make her a smoothie with tofu, but not to tellher I'm putting it in until after she's had it. She says she doesn't
want to be biased before she tries it, so she doesn't want to know
about it beforehand. Like a blind taste test. So I'm trying out new
ways to sneak stuff into her food (but not every time), then tell her
what the 'secret' ingredient is after she's eaten. <<<<
I love the idea of doing blind taste tests. Ideally consider doing
them with another person serving the "hidden" foods to cut down on the
telltale signs of whether something is or isn't changed, while you keep
tabs on what's real and what isn't. Does your daughter have any
sibling(s) you could enlist as helpers in the experiments? That way it
could be administered as an actual blind taste test.
~Katherine
Gwen
<<<trying to sneak them into foods the kids are willing to eat - ground up zucchini in speghetti sauce, for example.>>>
There was a point when Megan was about 6.5 or so when she didn't want to eat any vegetables. I was trying to figure out why - too smushy? too hard? funny taste? wrong color? sauce? no sauce?
She said she didn't mind eating the vegetables as long as she didn't have to see them or know about them. So I bought one of those "sneaky" cookbooks and tried some recipes. The recipes tasted ok, but she liked my regular recipes better.
It was a short lived, very messy experiment.
Gwen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
There was a point when Megan was about 6.5 or so when she didn't want to eat any vegetables. I was trying to figure out why - too smushy? too hard? funny taste? wrong color? sauce? no sauce?
She said she didn't mind eating the vegetables as long as she didn't have to see them or know about them. So I bought one of those "sneaky" cookbooks and tried some recipes. The recipes tasted ok, but she liked my regular recipes better.
It was a short lived, very messy experiment.
Gwen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joanna Murphy
> There was a point when Megan was about 6.5 or so when she didn't want to eat any vegetables. I was trying to figure out why - too smushy? too hard? funny taste? wrong color? sauce? no sauce?I have read that part of what comes in adolescence is the activation of new enzymes that help digest vegetables, and hence they become more appealing as they become more friendly to one's system. Interesting thought.
Joanna
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-
I have read that part of what comes in adolescence is the activation
of new enzymes that help digest vegetables, and hence they become more
appealing as they become more friendly to one's system. Interesting
thought.-=-
Wonderful thought. <g>
Wonderful thought in an ironic "isn't that funny" way, I mean.
I would not be the least bit surprised to learn that children have
been punished and forced and shamed *because* they were paying
attention to their own bodies' cues.
I would be sad, but I can already hardly think of the traditional
treatment of children without being sad.
So here's what I'm going to do instead. Every time I think it might
do one single child a little bit of good, I'm going to share this
collection of evidence:
http://sandradodd.com/food
And I'm going to remind myself that helping individuals be happier
makes the world happier, a little at a time.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I have read that part of what comes in adolescence is the activation
of new enzymes that help digest vegetables, and hence they become more
appealing as they become more friendly to one's system. Interesting
thought.-=-
Wonderful thought. <g>
Wonderful thought in an ironic "isn't that funny" way, I mean.
I would not be the least bit surprised to learn that children have
been punished and forced and shamed *because* they were paying
attention to their own bodies' cues.
I would be sad, but I can already hardly think of the traditional
treatment of children without being sad.
So here's what I'm going to do instead. Every time I think it might
do one single child a little bit of good, I'm going to share this
collection of evidence:
http://sandradodd.com/food
And I'm going to remind myself that helping individuals be happier
makes the world happier, a little at a time.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
diana jenner
I do this too!!! As an adult, sometimes I just want to taste a food -
without knowing that it contains something I traditionally reject.
Like Menudo ;) I knew it had something in it that I didn't want to eat,
though I wasn't sure what it was, so I asked that I not be told anything
about the ingredients until I was finished. It was an AMAZING *1* bowl of
menudo. Once I figgered out it was tripe I was enjoying, I decided to stick
with Posole ;) (same soup, no innards)
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.blogspot.com
hannahsashes.blogspot.com
dianas365.blogspot.com
without knowing that it contains something I traditionally reject.
Like Menudo ;) I knew it had something in it that I didn't want to eat,
though I wasn't sure what it was, so I asked that I not be told anything
about the ingredients until I was finished. It was an AMAZING *1* bowl of
menudo. Once I figgered out it was tripe I was enjoying, I decided to stick
with Posole ;) (same soup, no innards)
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.blogspot.com
hannahsashes.blogspot.com
dianas365.blogspot.com
On Tue, Apr 14, 2009 at 9:41 AM, <katherand@...> wrote:
>
>
> >>>> She has asked me to make her a smoothie with tofu, but not to tell
> her I'm putting it in until after she's had it. She says she doesn't
> want to be biased before she tries it, so she doesn't want to know
> about it beforehand. Like a blind taste test. So I'm trying out new
> ways to sneak stuff into her food (but not every time), then tell her
> what the 'secret' ingredient is after she's eaten. <<<<
>
> I love the idea of doing blind taste tests. Ideally consider doing
> them with another person serving the "hidden" foods to cut down on the
> telltale signs of whether something is or isn't changed, while you keep
> tabs on what's real and what isn't. Does your daughter have any
> sibling(s) you could enlist as helpers in the experiments? That way it
> could be administered as an actual blind taste test.
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
casa_divina
"My oldest is a little bit picky, probably from me feeding her not enough variety"
I have always offered my two girls (now 5.5 and 4) lots of variety and they still prefer very specific foods. Instead of "picky", think of it as very specific and try to fill those specific needs. Right now my youngest loves rice, cheese, crackers and sometimes milk. My oldest eats toast and bacon and eggs every morning, no more no less. I hardly ever ate vegetables as a child, not until college actually, and I have owned and run a vegetarian restaurant and it would be an understatement to say I LOVE veggies.
Molly in Ecuador
I have always offered my two girls (now 5.5 and 4) lots of variety and they still prefer very specific foods. Instead of "picky", think of it as very specific and try to fill those specific needs. Right now my youngest loves rice, cheese, crackers and sometimes milk. My oldest eats toast and bacon and eggs every morning, no more no less. I hardly ever ate vegetables as a child, not until college actually, and I have owned and run a vegetarian restaurant and it would be an understatement to say I LOVE veggies.
Molly in Ecuador