prism7513

It's the chicken vs. the egg.

When you all kept telling me to JUST DO IT, and I kept asking HOW??? I
was so frustrated. So after getting booted (honestly, I didn't know to
read for awhile before posting, if I had, I would have learned a
ton...), I mulled over what.the.heck. I was supposed to do now...

Then I'd "hear" Sandra..."just be with your kids..."

Yeah, but THEN what? How do I.....? "just play with your kids...."

Okay, so then I....? "Just quit asking and DO already!"

And I still didn't get it. And so I read. And went back and read some
more. And read on different forums, and read more of Joyce's stuff,
and even more links that I hadn't of Sandra's....

And I realize that by being with the kids today, I still haven't
solved the "problems" of tomorrow. My "what-ifs" still aren't answered.

But here's the thing - they don't need to be! When we get to tomorrow,
we'll figure it out. When the "if" happens, THEN we'll meet it head-on.

And in the end, I need to be just as confident of my children's
choices and their leading me as any of you are of your children
leading you. I can't compare my journey to yours and count myself
short. There isn't an unschooling measuring stick that says I am
behind. That's just me still trying to use my schooling ideas to feel
good about my parenting.

I do wish, however, that I could hear these discussions coming from
real lips, because I know that imagined tones are sometimes harsher
than they're meant to be. Though sometimes I know that many of you are
just like my DH and tell it like it is! I'm the gentler kind - I don't
want to tell it like it is, if it will hurt. Sadly, I tend to stand by
and watch you fall instead of warning you because I was afraid you'd
take it the wrong way...

Anyway, I'm starting to catch on, and though I don't know if I'll ever
get a tougher skin about me, I think I have realized (through other
sources in my life this week as well) that I am the best mom for my
kids and I'm trying to let them be the best kids they can be. My
oldest, thank goodness, is like her dad and isn't afraid to tell me
when I've messed up!

So...thanks,

Deb

Sandra Dodd

-=-So after getting booted (honestly, I didn't know to
read for awhile before posting, if I had, I would have learned a
ton...), I mulled over what.the.heck. I was supposed to do now...-=-

You didn't get booted. You just were asked to shush and read and
think and do and THEN write.

If you'd been booted, you wouldn't be posting this now. <bwg>



-=-And in the end, I need to be just as confident of my children's
choices and their leading me as any of you are of your children
leading you-=-

Try not to think of them "leading you" for too long. I don't think
you got that from my pages or Joyce's. "Child led learning" isn't a
term used much here.

Learning doesn't need to be "led" by anyone. It needs a rich
environment, which is up to the mom (and both parents, and kids
eventually, but not at first) to provide.

-=-I do wish, however, that I could hear these discussions coming
from real lips, because I know that imagined tones are sometimes
harsher than they're meant to be.-=-

http://sandradodd.com/radio

http://sandradodd.blogspot.com/2008/09/corrections-and-comments.html

(two radio interviews)

and a talk I gave, with a homeschooling dad, at the bottom of this page:

http://sandradodd.com/parentingpeacefully



Sandra










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Jenny C

> -=-I do wish, however, that I could hear these discussions coming
> from real lips, because I know that imagined tones are sometimes
> harsher than they're meant to be.-=-
>


Honestly, Sandra, your voice is down right mushy and sweet.

k

>>>And in the end, I need to be just as confident of my children's
>>>choices and their leading me as any of you are of your children
>>>leading you. I can't compare my journey to yours and count myself
>>>short. There isn't an unschooling measuring stick that says I am
>>>behind. That's just me still trying to use my schooling ideas to feel
>>>good about my parenting.

And you will also find that you don't need a tougher skin. You can be just
as sensitive as you ever were. Toughening your skin really *is*
schoolthink. It's all about comparisons and grades and normatives (or
whatever you want to call it). Those things can be painfully ostracizing
and I never got used to them.

Your eyes have been opened and when you acclimate to the light it stops
feeling quite so bright. You'll gain a clarity you didn't have before.

All without toughening or doing anything to your skin, you'll get more
comfortable in the skin you're in and make changes to the old ways that
don't fit the goals you are now in the process of taking up.

~Katherine


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Sandra Dodd

-=-Honestly, Sandra, your voice is down right mushy and sweet.-=-

I know, right?
(I was channelling Holly there, though it doesn't show in writing.
If anyone says anything nice about her hair, she says "I know,
right?" with a certain girly-voice.)

People who know me before they see my writing know it's downright
mushy and sweet, because I write in my own voice. Editors try to
"stilt it" up and make it sound like other people, and I say take it
as it is or don't publish it (not counting finding spelling errors
and that).

Thanks.

Sandra

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prism7513

> http://sandradodd.com/radio
>
> http://sandradodd.blogspot.com/2008/09/corrections-and-comments.html
>
> (two radio interviews)
>
> and a talk I gave, with a homeschooling dad, at the bottom of this page:
>
> http://sandradodd.com/parentingpeacefully
>

I did download the parenting peacefully talks, and started listening
one night, and I just haven't sat down to listen since. Actually, I
was hoping at the time that I'd wait until DH could sit, too, since I
could tell immediately it was something I was going to enjoy listening
to and learning from. And that voice HAS helped me picture your tone :)

Deb

Joanna Murphy

> Your eyes have been opened and when you acclimate to the light it stops
> feeling quite so bright. You'll gain a clarity you didn't have before.
>
Nice analogy!

Joanna

k

The results to look for is incorporating unschooling in real ways that we've
tried and can actually see working in our families. As a slow deliberate
process, the knowledge has a chance to stick. There's no unschooling exam
or test to cram for, so there's no need to remember stuff or feel on the
spot about it, only to promptly forget our last name.

Fitting unschooling in bit by bit and pushing forward to gain the knowledge
and skills I need and keeping the desire alive is something I can do.

It's possible to dampen desire for unschooling and grouse and grumble, and
piss all over today (as someone once said so eloquently). Keeping the
desire alive means avoiding those things and staying in the light!

~Katherine




On 10/9/08, Joanna Murphy <ridingmom@...> wrote:

> > Your eyes have been opened and when you acclimate to the light it stops
> > feeling quite so bright. You'll gain a clarity you didn't have before.
> >
> Nice analogy!
>
> Joanna


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

k

I think the tone of honest inquiry might come off as though we're on an
embarrassing televised Jerry Springer free-for-all or something brutish like
that.

This ain't Jerry Springer. :)

I have been on political and philosophical forums that were. If you want to
see some real flaming... there are plenty of those kinds of forums. Jerry
Springer style.

~Katherine




On 10/9/08, prism7513 <penley75@...> wrote:

> > http://sandradodd.com/radio
> >
> > http://sandradodd.blogspot.com/2008/09/corrections-and-comments.html
> >
> > (two radio interviews)
> >
> > and a talk I gave, with a homeschooling dad, at the bottom of this
page:
> >
> > http://sandradodd.com/parentingpeacefully
> >
>
> I did download the parenting peacefully talks, and started listening
> one night, and I just haven't sat down to listen since. Actually, I
> was hoping at the time that I'd wait until DH could sit, too, since I
> could tell immediately it was something I was going to enjoy listening
> to and learning from. And that voice HAS helped me picture your tone :)
>
> Deb


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Jenny C

> I think the tone of honest inquiry might come off as though we're on
an
> embarrassing televised Jerry Springer free-for-all or something
brutish like
> that.
>
> This ain't Jerry Springer. :)


EWWW! How could you put that image in my head!!!! ;)

Sometimes I like to read comments on news articles for the Jerry
Springer-ish way that people comment to each other. It's always the
same stuff, a couple of people that have well intended arguments
although badly written and the rest of the folks are all flaming and
bringing political jargin in the mix of it in a totally unrelated to
anything kind of way.

k

Yes... and people who are used to hearing that kind of discourse, which
appears in many context (reality shows for instance), may not realize that
hardly anybody does that here. :) They may hear it because they expect
when people disagree that things will get Jerry Springer free-for-all-y.

~Katherine




On 10/10/08, Jenny C <jenstarc4@...> wrote:
>
>
> > I think the tone of honest inquiry might come off as though we're on
> an
> > embarrassing televised Jerry Springer free-for-all or something
> brutish like
> > that.
> >
> > This ain't Jerry Springer. :)
>
> EWWW! How could you put that image in my head!!!! ;)
>
> Sometimes I like to read comments on news articles for the Jerry
> Springer-ish way that people comment to each other. It's always the
> same stuff, a couple of people that have well intended arguments
> although badly written and the rest of the folks are all flaming and
> bringing political jargin in the mix of it in a totally unrelated to
> anything kind of way.
>
>
>


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