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In a message dated 7/7/2008 1:58:36 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
Sandra@... writes:

<<<When Keith and I were young, early 20's, he wasn't a good speller and
I didn't know the times tables up around and among 6, 7 and 8. We
made a deal that we would never shame the other or explain, just
spell or give a number. >>>


That reminds me of times before *our* kids came along. Dave's forte is more
along the engineering scale: math, equations, memorization of formulas, how to
build things, how to take things apart. My forte is more along the words
spectrum: putting words together in a pleasing way, telling stories, spelling,
definitions. I have a habit of speaking (and writing) words that specifically
fit into what I'm trying to say and I've always admired Dave's ability to say
things simply and directly (where I tend to run off into tangents, get
caught up in explinations and specifics)... for example, I might say, "The mundane
nature of his exsitence left him empty and wanting" (okay, I might not
actually *speak* that, but it is definitely along the lines of how I write) and
Dave would say, "He's bored." The simplicity of that not only impresses me, but
I'm a little jelous sometimes! Those kinds of words are just in my nature.
So, often when we *first* were married, Dave would nod as if he understood
when I'd say some things he wouldn't really be clear on. I didn't know. After we
were married long enough that he knew he could trust me not to make fun of
his "lack of understanding" (he had a lot of being made fun of before we
met-by family mostly), he came up with a way to gently let me know he didn't
understand some word I used without actually saying, "I don't know that word"-in a
way, "saving face" while still letting me know he wasn't clear. We'd heard a
comedian do something similar and we thought it was pretty funny, so he'd
take to saying, "Mundane. How do you spell that?" with a big grin on his face,
then I'd know and I'd rephrase. He doesn't say that much anymore. I don't
know if he understands more of the language I use or if I've learned from him
how to simplify, but I kind of miss that "private joke" kind of thing we used
to share all the time. I also ask him to double-check my math, but that's not
really a fun, private joke kind of thing. :~)

As I was sitting here thinking of searching dictionaries, Google, people and
other sources for information, a term popped up in my head, "hedonistic
learner". That's what I am. Is it by nature or by nurture or both? I don't know.
I do know that I have loved looking things up as long as I can remember and
that I've loved listening to folks tell their stories (like, "I remember when I
was a kid, candy bars were five cents. And they were bigger than they are
now...) for as long as I can remember. Or maybe "hedonistic
information-seeker". I don't know. I just know that I love to learn and I hope that whatever it
is-nurture or nature-that my kids "get it", too!

Peace,
De



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