Shame on me again!? Again?!
Sandra Dodd
I had e-mail from someone asking about dyslexia and boys and she and
her husband insisting on the three R's and kids could go their own
speed and didn't have to be tested but...
So I responded:
Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
-=- I guess I just need some encouragement about how and where
therapy and training when it comes to dysfunctions fits into an
unschool mindset.-=-
I'm sorry, I can't encourage you to almost or kind of unschool. By
"insisting" on the threeR's, you short-circuit unschooling.
With pure unschooling, dyslexia doesn't even exist. You're operating
in an area I can't support. You will have problems with dyslexia
because you're teaching (no matter how slowly; he'll know). I did
NOT have problems with my middle child, lefty, much like his own dad
and my dad, who DID have school problems. My child had zero problems
because he figured out on his own how to do things, as all dyslexics
do in one way or another.
Teaching tricks is good for keeping them not SO far behind the
assembly line.
In the absence of the need for an assembly line, you've created one
anyway. It's a start-and-stop assembly line without tests, but
you're still "insisting" on some schoolishness, and so unschooling
won't thrive.
http://sandradodd.com/reading
If you change your mind, you can get lots of help from one of the
lists here:
http://sandradodd.com/lists/other
Sandra
===================================
And the response was (seems to me) critical:
===================================
Oh, well.Thanks anyway. no matter how purely we unschool my boys will
still have autism. I'm sorry you can only be supportive to
homeschoolers that are completely radical in unschooling.
========================================================================
==============================================
My whole website with links to Joyce's and other people's websites is
insufficient?
Six and a half billion people on the planet.
300 or 400 million English speakers.
Thousands of people advocating this or that about reading and dyslexia.
Why am I responsible for being supportive of any and all
homeschoolers, or even of any and all unschoolers? How much would
someone have to pay me for me to "be supportive" of everyone who
comes by?
And the autism? It just popped up then. It makes it almost like
"Doctor, will I be able to play the piano?"
"Yes."
"Wonderful! I never could before."
The original question is below, and yet I'm supposed to feel guilty
(in addition to all else) for boys having autism. It's too bad I
can't design and support an unschooling program that will fix
everything for everybody, whether I know the details or not. It's a
sorry thing.
---------------------------------------------------
I enjoyed your blog/website and thought I'd ask your opinion on
unschooling while still meeting the needs of 'LDs".
We have always 'quasi-unschooled' I guess. We are not radical
unschoolers, but have never gone by grade levels or curriculums or
testing. We have always been child interest led and done what works
for out boys when it works for them, not what 'the experts' say what
and when they 'need'. But we are not radical ( we do insist on "the 3
Rs" but we work them around our kidsi tersts and abilities, etc)
I do like our 'almost unschool' ways, but my concern is for my 11 yr
old. He has dyslexia, an auditory processing problem and some sensory
disorders. I do not expect him to be on "state grade level" and I
know that he'll get things when he's ready, but I have some of these
issues as well and from my own experience and my research, I believe
that he will need to be taught certain things (not just left alone to
get when he's ready), but I still want to go at his pace and his
comfort and ability.
I guess I just need some encouragement about how and where therapy
and training when it comes to dysfunctions fits into an unschool
mindset.
--------------------------------------------------
Yeah. I'm starting to rant a bit. I'll go and watch movies and
make Thinking Sticks or something now.
If I get shamed a third time in this 24 hour period, I'm going to
need a hot fudge sundae or a big cake, because unlike my children, I
was trained to use food for reward and comfort, and if I find myself
very needy, I WILL eat chocolate, and lots of it. And it will be too
bad someone couldn't have been more supportive of my offering free
ideas and inspiration, even to people who don't agree with me. Oh
well, mothers of dyslexic made-to-read boys, and mothers who say
horsepucky to sweet unschooling teens, and whoever #3 is.
There's a trap. The next person who snarks or complains about me is
#3, I binge, and someone's to blame.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
her husband insisting on the three R's and kids could go their own
speed and didn't have to be tested but...
So I responded:
Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
-=- I guess I just need some encouragement about how and where
therapy and training when it comes to dysfunctions fits into an
unschool mindset.-=-
I'm sorry, I can't encourage you to almost or kind of unschool. By
"insisting" on the threeR's, you short-circuit unschooling.
With pure unschooling, dyslexia doesn't even exist. You're operating
in an area I can't support. You will have problems with dyslexia
because you're teaching (no matter how slowly; he'll know). I did
NOT have problems with my middle child, lefty, much like his own dad
and my dad, who DID have school problems. My child had zero problems
because he figured out on his own how to do things, as all dyslexics
do in one way or another.
Teaching tricks is good for keeping them not SO far behind the
assembly line.
In the absence of the need for an assembly line, you've created one
anyway. It's a start-and-stop assembly line without tests, but
you're still "insisting" on some schoolishness, and so unschooling
won't thrive.
http://sandradodd.com/reading
If you change your mind, you can get lots of help from one of the
lists here:
http://sandradodd.com/lists/other
Sandra
===================================
And the response was (seems to me) critical:
===================================
Oh, well.Thanks anyway. no matter how purely we unschool my boys will
still have autism. I'm sorry you can only be supportive to
homeschoolers that are completely radical in unschooling.
========================================================================
==============================================
My whole website with links to Joyce's and other people's websites is
insufficient?
Six and a half billion people on the planet.
300 or 400 million English speakers.
Thousands of people advocating this or that about reading and dyslexia.
Why am I responsible for being supportive of any and all
homeschoolers, or even of any and all unschoolers? How much would
someone have to pay me for me to "be supportive" of everyone who
comes by?
And the autism? It just popped up then. It makes it almost like
"Doctor, will I be able to play the piano?"
"Yes."
"Wonderful! I never could before."
The original question is below, and yet I'm supposed to feel guilty
(in addition to all else) for boys having autism. It's too bad I
can't design and support an unschooling program that will fix
everything for everybody, whether I know the details or not. It's a
sorry thing.
---------------------------------------------------
I enjoyed your blog/website and thought I'd ask your opinion on
unschooling while still meeting the needs of 'LDs".
We have always 'quasi-unschooled' I guess. We are not radical
unschoolers, but have never gone by grade levels or curriculums or
testing. We have always been child interest led and done what works
for out boys when it works for them, not what 'the experts' say what
and when they 'need'. But we are not radical ( we do insist on "the 3
Rs" but we work them around our kidsi tersts and abilities, etc)
I do like our 'almost unschool' ways, but my concern is for my 11 yr
old. He has dyslexia, an auditory processing problem and some sensory
disorders. I do not expect him to be on "state grade level" and I
know that he'll get things when he's ready, but I have some of these
issues as well and from my own experience and my research, I believe
that he will need to be taught certain things (not just left alone to
get when he's ready), but I still want to go at his pace and his
comfort and ability.
I guess I just need some encouragement about how and where therapy
and training when it comes to dysfunctions fits into an unschool
mindset.
--------------------------------------------------
Yeah. I'm starting to rant a bit. I'll go and watch movies and
make Thinking Sticks or something now.
If I get shamed a third time in this 24 hour period, I'm going to
need a hot fudge sundae or a big cake, because unlike my children, I
was trained to use food for reward and comfort, and if I find myself
very needy, I WILL eat chocolate, and lots of it. And it will be too
bad someone couldn't have been more supportive of my offering free
ideas and inspiration, even to people who don't agree with me. Oh
well, mothers of dyslexic made-to-read boys, and mothers who say
horsepucky to sweet unschooling teens, and whoever #3 is.
There's a trap. The next person who snarks or complains about me is
#3, I binge, and someone's to blame.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
diana jenner
I think my favorite support of this way of life has come from the little
(public schooled) boy I nannied & we lived with. Alex is most definitely
deserving of the labels he comes with, most notedly Aspergers, though they
really do only matter while he's in the building and the residual mindset.
Alex, when he's *allowed* to be, is pure Alex. Just like every other child,
with his own unique way of relating to the world. His processing makes sense
in *his* context, it's just not always comfortable to navigate his context
with him, especially with the big time chunks missing in school and it's
work. Doesn't mean relating to Alex wouldn't be possible & much, much
easier, in a "radical" unschooling environment. Oh to have him around
24/7/365 would be a gift to those of us who love him and long to understand
him easily! School and schoolthink have done this kid no favors.
He speaks often and fondly of working from home and unschooling his own
children :)
I remember when Melissa wrote into the Live and Learn list before
Albuquerque 2006, concerned for our acceptance and understanding of her
unique children. I couldn't wait for her to *see* her kids in our
environment. They're such bright and shiny kids, they joined right in to
what appealed to them, they were supported as needed and I think they all
had a blast. Unschooling is the best thing that ever happened to that
family. (more than one of several kids are diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum)
As her kids grow, I see Melissa having a great source of speaking material
on Unschooling with/through Autism.
(public schooled) boy I nannied & we lived with. Alex is most definitely
deserving of the labels he comes with, most notedly Aspergers, though they
really do only matter while he's in the building and the residual mindset.
Alex, when he's *allowed* to be, is pure Alex. Just like every other child,
with his own unique way of relating to the world. His processing makes sense
in *his* context, it's just not always comfortable to navigate his context
with him, especially with the big time chunks missing in school and it's
work. Doesn't mean relating to Alex wouldn't be possible & much, much
easier, in a "radical" unschooling environment. Oh to have him around
24/7/365 would be a gift to those of us who love him and long to understand
him easily! School and schoolthink have done this kid no favors.
He speaks often and fondly of working from home and unschooling his own
children :)
I remember when Melissa wrote into the Live and Learn list before
Albuquerque 2006, concerned for our acceptance and understanding of her
unique children. I couldn't wait for her to *see* her kids in our
environment. They're such bright and shiny kids, they joined right in to
what appealed to them, they were supported as needed and I think they all
had a blast. Unschooling is the best thing that ever happened to that
family. (more than one of several kids are diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum)
As her kids grow, I see Melissa having a great source of speaking material
on Unschooling with/through Autism.
On Sat, May 17, 2008 at 3:30 PM, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
> ===================================
>
> Oh, well.Thanks anyway. no matter how purely we unschool my boys will still
> have autism. I'm sorry you can only be supportive to homeschoolers that are
> completely radical in unschooling.
>
> ==============================
>
Have some chocolate, on your own terms, in the hot tub! :)
--
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Amy
> Oh, well.Thanks anyway. no matter how purely we unschool my boys willstill
> have autism>It's too bad she seems bent on finding a cure for autism instead of
finding the best way to have a happy and peaceful family.
Amy
Sandra Dodd
-=-Have some chocolate, on your own terms, in the hot tub! :)-=-
It sounds like a guess for some free-form Clue game:
Sandra Dodd, with chocolate, in the hot tub.
The kids are gone and Keith is out there putting more fire in it
*right now.*
I spoke with my dad's cousin this afternoon for four hours. That's
right. Four hours. She's in her 60's. My dad would be nearly 80,
but he died when he was the age I am now, more or less (54, I think
he was, I know I am).
There's a family reunion this coming weekend. Holly would like to go
if we'd had more time to think about it, so we might plan it for next
year, but of the eight siblings on which it was based (my paternal
grandmother and her seven siblings), only three of them are still
living and one's in a nursing home. It might not last enough years
longer for us to go. It's in Roby, Texas. Hmmm.... Bunch of
Baptist Texans, pretty much. They love me; I was the oldest
grandchild of the second-oldest sibling, the most local and stable
one for many years.
I will get points for having a kid named Kirby living in Texas. (My
dad was Kirby, and he lived in Texas when most of them knew him,
growing up.)
My ear hurt but the catch-up stories were Great. Deaths by suicide,
bull-riding, automobile accident. Prison. Adultery. Lies and
excitement. Domestic violence. And that's the conservative Baptist
relatives!
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
It sounds like a guess for some free-form Clue game:
Sandra Dodd, with chocolate, in the hot tub.
The kids are gone and Keith is out there putting more fire in it
*right now.*
I spoke with my dad's cousin this afternoon for four hours. That's
right. Four hours. She's in her 60's. My dad would be nearly 80,
but he died when he was the age I am now, more or less (54, I think
he was, I know I am).
There's a family reunion this coming weekend. Holly would like to go
if we'd had more time to think about it, so we might plan it for next
year, but of the eight siblings on which it was based (my paternal
grandmother and her seven siblings), only three of them are still
living and one's in a nursing home. It might not last enough years
longer for us to go. It's in Roby, Texas. Hmmm.... Bunch of
Baptist Texans, pretty much. They love me; I was the oldest
grandchild of the second-oldest sibling, the most local and stable
one for many years.
I will get points for having a kid named Kirby living in Texas. (My
dad was Kirby, and he lived in Texas when most of them knew him,
growing up.)
My ear hurt but the catch-up stories were Great. Deaths by suicide,
bull-riding, automobile accident. Prison. Adultery. Lies and
excitement. Domestic violence. And that's the conservative Baptist
relatives!
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]