Cameron Parham

I have really loved Naomi Aldort's comments on tantrums and how we can foster them by acting like tantrums and their attendant feelings must be avoided. See the March issue of Life Learning and some of her recent emails.  I know this is a bit tangential but feels relevant, maybe just because I have really connected with this offering from Aldort.

----- Original Message ----
From: Lyla Wolfenstein <lylaw@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, May 13, 2008 1:22:52 PM
Subject: Re: [SPAM][AlwaysLearning] friend help

i found that at 4-5 both my kids benefited from "borrowing" something from a friend - it always eased their transition out the door. would that be a possibility? maybe a shared item between your daughter and this girl? a stuffed animal or something that each takes turns "caring for" at home when they leave the other's house?

it sounds like this mother is suffering from the "she needs to learn" syndrome that is so common. i suffered from it myself for quite a while when my first was that age. ;-)

my daughter at that age was known to hide in closets at her friends houses - as well as hide her friends in HER closet!

warmly, Lyla

I suggested a treat or a toy or something fun, but her Mom said she
didn't want her child to expect something every time they picked her
up, that when they go to the bank she expects a treat and will have a
tantrum if she doesn't get one. I didn't have a reply, but I really
wanted to have one. I don't feel like I could say anything like "be
more fun" without really offending them, and thereby losing our

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