Is school sometimes a better option?
Nicole Willoughby
I feel like we have so many things going against us as far as unschooling goes right now.
We are financially strapped , have a van that is on its last legs and no money to replace it right now, the only decent homeschool group is 80 miles away, there is no public transportation to get places.
On top of he my son has numerous doctor visits the girls are getting drug to and he is having increasing episodes . By episodes I mean screaming for 9 hours straight, hitting and biting himself and others , Im having to pin him down to keep him from attacking his sisters.
Over the past several months he has had me so exhausted I feel like I havent been there for my girls. For example yesterday they wanted to make their bunny hutch ( its a gigngerbread house with an easter theme) I sat and helped with getting icing into the bags and such but I just wasnt "there" with them. All i was thinking about was how much i desperatly wanted my son to go to sleep and crash myself.
My sons actions have caused extreme stress on the entire family . its not about me worried that they will get behind and not learn x at y time. Its feeling like maybe for my girls school next year may be a richer more interesting and less stressful environment.
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We are financially strapped , have a van that is on its last legs and no money to replace it right now, the only decent homeschool group is 80 miles away, there is no public transportation to get places.
On top of he my son has numerous doctor visits the girls are getting drug to and he is having increasing episodes . By episodes I mean screaming for 9 hours straight, hitting and biting himself and others , Im having to pin him down to keep him from attacking his sisters.
Over the past several months he has had me so exhausted I feel like I havent been there for my girls. For example yesterday they wanted to make their bunny hutch ( its a gigngerbread house with an easter theme) I sat and helped with getting icing into the bags and such but I just wasnt "there" with them. All i was thinking about was how much i desperatly wanted my son to go to sleep and crash myself.
My sons actions have caused extreme stress on the entire family . its not about me worried that they will get behind and not learn x at y time. Its feeling like maybe for my girls school next year may be a richer more interesting and less stressful environment.
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Pamela Sorooshian
On Mar 19, 2008, at 10:28 AM, Nicole Willoughby wrote:
Can you get some help for yourself with your son? I'm sorry, I'm not
remembering what his issues are.
-pam
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> My sons actions have caused extreme stress on the entire family .I feel for you. It is a touch decision, but you could be right.
> its not about me worried that they will get behind and not learn x
> at y time. Its feeling like maybe for my girls school next year may
> be a richer more interesting and less stressful environment.
Can you get some help for yourself with your son? I'm sorry, I'm not
remembering what his issues are.
-pam
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Sandra Dodd
-=-its not about me worried that they will get behind and not learn x
at y time. Its feeling like maybe for my girls school next year may
be a richer more interesting and less stressful environment. -=-
For me as a kid going to school was great. My sister's three who had
the option to stay home saw two go back for sports and socializing,
and the one who had liked school the most never go back.
If your girls do want to go back, look at this once in a while, if it
seems helpful:
http://sandradodd.com/schoolchoice
It wouldn't need to be forever, anyway. Your son will get older, and
more of your time with him might help him, and the girls will be able
to use school as they'd like to, to some extent.
There's a vast difference between the the experience of a child who
is in school and hates it and one who has full option not to be
there, but has chosen to be there.
Sandra
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at y time. Its feeling like maybe for my girls school next year may
be a richer more interesting and less stressful environment. -=-
For me as a kid going to school was great. My sister's three who had
the option to stay home saw two go back for sports and socializing,
and the one who had liked school the most never go back.
If your girls do want to go back, look at this once in a while, if it
seems helpful:
http://sandradodd.com/schoolchoice
It wouldn't need to be forever, anyway. Your son will get older, and
more of your time with him might help him, and the girls will be able
to use school as they'd like to, to some extent.
There's a vast difference between the the experience of a child who
is in school and hates it and one who has full option not to be
there, but has chosen to be there.
Sandra
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Ren Allen
~~My sons actions have caused extreme stress on the entire family .
its not about me worried that they will get behind and not learn x at
y time. Its feeling like maybe for my girls school next year may be a
richer more interesting and less stressful environment.~~
How do they feel about it? That would be more of a determining factor
than anything. I think children are pretty good at understanding when
one family member needs a lot more than others. My youngest certainly
needed a LOT more of us for several years and the other children got
"gypped" in a sense.
They were amazingly adaptable and willing to be more self-sufficient
so that Jalen could get what he needed. Not that they didn't have
frustrations many times....but there is so much learning and
connections that came through some difficult stuff.
That's a big "it depends" situation. Do you know what is causing your
child's episodes? Do you have someone that can help you out? A family
willing to let your girls come hang out with them a couple days per week?
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
its not about me worried that they will get behind and not learn x at
y time. Its feeling like maybe for my girls school next year may be a
richer more interesting and less stressful environment.~~
How do they feel about it? That would be more of a determining factor
than anything. I think children are pretty good at understanding when
one family member needs a lot more than others. My youngest certainly
needed a LOT more of us for several years and the other children got
"gypped" in a sense.
They were amazingly adaptable and willing to be more self-sufficient
so that Jalen could get what he needed. Not that they didn't have
frustrations many times....but there is so much learning and
connections that came through some difficult stuff.
That's a big "it depends" situation. Do you know what is causing your
child's episodes? Do you have someone that can help you out? A family
willing to let your girls come hang out with them a couple days per week?
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Nicole Willoughby
Can you get some help for yourself with your son? I'm sorry, I'm not
remembering what his issues are.>>>>>>>>
We dont have any family or anyone in the area. He is on a waiting list for us to get help with respite care for a year and a half now. We do save money we really cant afford so that we can get care for him once a month for a few hours so we can go out. I helps keep me sane .
He is severly autistic, non verbal , and has mild cerebral palsy.
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remembering what his issues are.>>>>>>>>
We dont have any family or anyone in the area. He is on a waiting list for us to get help with respite care for a year and a half now. We do save money we really cant afford so that we can get care for him once a month for a few hours so we can go out. I helps keep me sane .
He is severly autistic, non verbal , and has mild cerebral palsy.
---------------------------------
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Robyn L. Coburn
Please don't take this as harsh, but simply as another option. *Maybe* your
son is the one who should be going to school, presumeably a special school
and maybe only part time, rather than your daughters.
It must be hard on them to always be made second to his extreme needs. I can
hear how torn you feel.
Sometimes the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Perhaps more calling and
following up on the respite care request would speed it along.
Robyn L. Coburn
www.Iggyjingles.etsy.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
son is the one who should be going to school, presumeably a special school
and maybe only part time, rather than your daughters.
It must be hard on them to always be made second to his extreme needs. I can
hear how torn you feel.
Sometimes the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Perhaps more calling and
following up on the respite care request would speed it along.
Robyn L. Coburn
www.Iggyjingles.etsy.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
Nicole Willoughby
Please don't take this as harsh, but simply as another option. *Maybe* your
son is the one who should be going to school>>>>>>>>>>
Not taking it as harsh . He is in school . After 2 years of fighting he is actually in school with a great teacher who isnt calling me at 10 am daily to come pick him up because he is throwing a fit. This dosent change the numerous doctor and therapy appointments that i have to pick him up from school for and drag the girls to weekly. These are at best boring and occasionly at worst embarassing when he decides to do something like suddenly pulling down his pants and mooning everyone.
Im honestly not trying to ship them off to school to make them second . I feel that school may give them a bit of a break.
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son is the one who should be going to school>>>>>>>>>>
Not taking it as harsh . He is in school . After 2 years of fighting he is actually in school with a great teacher who isnt calling me at 10 am daily to come pick him up because he is throwing a fit. This dosent change the numerous doctor and therapy appointments that i have to pick him up from school for and drag the girls to weekly. These are at best boring and occasionly at worst embarassing when he decides to do something like suddenly pulling down his pants and mooning everyone.
Im honestly not trying to ship them off to school to make them second . I feel that school may give them a bit of a break.
---------------------------------
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Nancy Wooton
On Mar 19, 2008, at 3:51 PM, Nicole Willoughby wrote:
Nancy
> Im honestly not trying to ship them off to school to make themDo they feel that need? Have they said as much?
> second . I feel that school may give them a bit of a break.
Nancy
Nicole Willoughby
Do they feel that need? Have they said as much?>>>>>>>
My 4 year old has announced that she is going to school next year. :)
My 8 year old isnt so sure about school ( one day she wants to go another she wants to stay home ) but she has expressed a need for a break.
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My 4 year old has announced that she is going to school next year. :)
My 8 year old isnt so sure about school ( one day she wants to go another she wants to stay home ) but she has expressed a need for a break.
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diana jenner
On Wed, Mar 19, 2008 at 1:58 PM, Robyn L. Coburn <dezigna@...> wrote:
State respite program) and share your desperation. The squeaky wheel *will*
get the grease ;)
(from experience, I called upon Tom Daschle many many times during trials
and tribulations with Social Security -- I used to call them first and do
the "proper" channels, no more! He got immediate results for me. Thankfully
I've had no issues since he left office, though I've decided I'll just call
him at home if I do ::bg::)
--
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.blogspot.com
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> Sometimes the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Perhaps more calling andI second this recommendation. Call your state representatives (if this is a
> following up on the respite care request would speed it along.
>
>
State respite program) and share your desperation. The squeaky wheel *will*
get the grease ;)
(from experience, I called upon Tom Daschle many many times during trials
and tribulations with Social Security -- I used to call them first and do
the "proper" channels, no more! He got immediate results for me. Thankfully
I've had no issues since he left office, though I've decided I'll just call
him at home if I do ::bg::)
--
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.blogspot.com
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Joanna Murphy
Nicole--
This may be unnecessary, but I wanted to recommend that you treat the girls individually.
You keep talking about them as a unit, so I'm not sure if you think of them that way or if it
was just more convenient to refer to them that way. Also, in times of stress, it's very
tempting to focus on the solutions and to have an answer--but try to remain as flexible as
possible.
If one or both are in school could you keep the door open if its not working? The break
may sound good right now and work, or the realities of actually spending all of that time
away from the family might not be as good as it sounds. I'm actually thinking of myself
and "time off." I usually end up thinking about my kids and look forward to being back
home.
When I was growing up I had an older (by 13 years) half brother. We'll just say that life
was not as kind to him as it has been to me. He did a lot of drugs, joined a cult, etc.
When he visited there was usually tons of drama. As a kid, I just flowed along with it, and
I don't think it really disrupted my childhood much. It was just a sad thing--an
unpleasant feature of the landscape. I do think that kids are in some ways more resilient
in the face of adversity that we fear. That being said, I fiercely protect mine from
adversity, so go figure. ;-)
Joanna
This may be unnecessary, but I wanted to recommend that you treat the girls individually.
You keep talking about them as a unit, so I'm not sure if you think of them that way or if it
was just more convenient to refer to them that way. Also, in times of stress, it's very
tempting to focus on the solutions and to have an answer--but try to remain as flexible as
possible.
If one or both are in school could you keep the door open if its not working? The break
may sound good right now and work, or the realities of actually spending all of that time
away from the family might not be as good as it sounds. I'm actually thinking of myself
and "time off." I usually end up thinking about my kids and look forward to being back
home.
When I was growing up I had an older (by 13 years) half brother. We'll just say that life
was not as kind to him as it has been to me. He did a lot of drugs, joined a cult, etc.
When he visited there was usually tons of drama. As a kid, I just flowed along with it, and
I don't think it really disrupted my childhood much. It was just a sad thing--an
unpleasant feature of the landscape. I do think that kids are in some ways more resilient
in the face of adversity that we fear. That being said, I fiercely protect mine from
adversity, so go figure. ;-)
Joanna
Nicole Willoughby
This may be unnecessary, but I wanted to recommend that you treat the girls individually.
You keep talking about them as a unit, so I'm not sure if you think of them that way or if it
was just more convenient to refer to them that way.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
This may be more information than you want <g> i helped put an ex in jail for assualt, intent to sale and lost the baby shortly after the assualt. Years later i got pregnant with my oldest and got rumors that he was threatening to hurt her.
It would probably be fine to address them by name here but it becomes a habbit to refer to them as the girls and my son or dd8, dd4 and ds.
They are very much their own individual people though :)
If one or both are in school could you keep the door open if its not working?>>>>>>>
The state Im in its quite easy to remove them at any point in the year and I have no plans to force school on my kids if it isnt where they want to be.
The break
may sound good right now and work, or the realities of actually spending all of that time
away from the family might not be as good as it sounds. I'm actually thinking of myself
and "time off." I usually end up thinking about my kids and look forward to being back
home.>>>>>>>>>>.
My oldest has been in school and i looked forward to time to pick her up :)
As a kid, I just flowed along with it, and
I don't think it really disrupted my childhood much>>>>>>>
I think this really depends on the kid. My 8 year old carries the world on her shoulders. i often see her become very stressed and worried over her brother
nicole
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You keep talking about them as a unit, so I'm not sure if you think of them that way or if it
was just more convenient to refer to them that way.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
This may be more information than you want <g> i helped put an ex in jail for assualt, intent to sale and lost the baby shortly after the assualt. Years later i got pregnant with my oldest and got rumors that he was threatening to hurt her.
It would probably be fine to address them by name here but it becomes a habbit to refer to them as the girls and my son or dd8, dd4 and ds.
They are very much their own individual people though :)
If one or both are in school could you keep the door open if its not working?>>>>>>>
The state Im in its quite easy to remove them at any point in the year and I have no plans to force school on my kids if it isnt where they want to be.
The break
may sound good right now and work, or the realities of actually spending all of that time
away from the family might not be as good as it sounds. I'm actually thinking of myself
and "time off." I usually end up thinking about my kids and look forward to being back
home.>>>>>>>>>>.
My oldest has been in school and i looked forward to time to pick her up :)
As a kid, I just flowed along with it, and
I don't think it really disrupted my childhood much>>>>>>>
I think this really depends on the kid. My 8 year old carries the world on her shoulders. i often see her become very stressed and worried over her brother
nicole
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