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Beth M. wrote:
"1. How do I help ds11 earn money from outside our family? "

You could honestly tell your son that you don't know how to make money and refer him to the 'experts' who have written books about it or who have websites or anything. There's the movie "The Secret", too. I've seen books at the library about earning money for kids....

Once I was in a store with a kid (about 7yo) and he stood there in front of the candy counter with the following dilemma: "I want to keep my dollar bill but I want some candy." I thought to myself, "bummer, there's no way!" I didn't have any money with me at all... I had walked him to the store bec. HE wanted to buy something.....I turned to a man in line and repeated the boy's dilemma and he said, "well, here's 4 quarters, you can get something with that." I became a 'believer' after that in POSSIBILITIES. Just when you think nothing will work... along comes a solution from nowhere!

My kids (9,11, and 13yo) have earned money selling flowers through Dutch Mill Bulbs .... (dutchmillbulbs.com) sell the flowers for $5 and keep $2.50.... we used to do it as a fundraiser for charities but I've more recently decided that they should keep some of the money as commission. They hadn't thought of that! So, they keep some of the money and some of it goes to charities (one is our non-profit 'homeschool' group) and they'll choose another. They say that the flowers will sell better with a charity however, I suggested that telling people that you had a horse to support might be a selling point, too... whatever.... I have it going for all the kids in our 'group' and am hopeful that they will sell a lot of flowers and make a lot of money for themselves. I hope, too, that they will feel more empowered about getting money and whatever they want with that money....

If you don't have the energy, inclination, or whatever to earn money, then he can be pointed into directions where he can earn money or get his 'stuff' without money.

To me, it comes down to identifying a problem (wanting money) and brainstorming solutions.... and there's always the internet and library for ideas....

Also, I had to get out of their way... one of my kids is starting a pet-sitting business out here in the country and I think I sometimes have my stuff show up in how I talk to her.... I have to remember that her starting this business is HER business - whether she makes a ton or not... I'm just here to support her... the mistakes and successes are hers to make.....

IMO, there's great power in identifying one's 'problem' and working towards it - whether one is successful or 'not'... and those 'nots' fall under Einstein's comment about knowing what doesn't work and thus is not an unsuccessful endeavor....

It's not your job to give him money neccessarily.... but you can support him in getting his own.....

don't know if I'm making sense here but it's a beautiful evening so I'm going out to walk with the dogs before we go bowling with friends at 'buck fifty' night at 930pm...

That's all for now...
Good luck!
Jane

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Sandra Dodd

-=-They say that the flowers will sell better with a charity however,
I suggested that telling people that you had a horse to support might
be a selling point, too-=-

Can you drive manure around and offer to sell it to people doing
spring gardening?

-=-It's not your job to give him money neccessarily.... but you can
support him in getting his own.....-=-

I think it's an unschooling parent's job to provide access to the
world, and that always costs some money.

It doesn't seem to me that it's productive to tell an unschooled kid
"If you want something, get a job," or "If you want money, make your
own." I'm not just pulling this idea out of my ass, either. My boys
have had thousands of dollars in savings from money they earned.
Holly worked babysitting, making a little over $100 a week. She
bought a ticket to Rhode Island to visit her friend Quinn, and took
$300 or so with her to spend. I offered to help with the ticket but
she wanted to do it herself.

None of them had a job because they had to. The advantage of that is
that they're working out of the joy and desire to be there, not out
of fear of quitting. Even now, Kirby doesn't have to be afraid to
quit his job. He has no car payments (inherited a car when his uncle
died) and we'd be glad to have him move back here. So he's working
because he wants to. He LIKES his job.

Until a child decides to want to work, pressing him to do it seems
like pressing a child to read or "do math," instead of waiting for it
to come naturally.

People who think the desire to work won't come naturally haven't seen
many unschooled teens, I think.

Sandra

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