halfshadow1

February 27
Not Returning to toxic grandmas' house
Yesterday we went to my parents house. Mostly because My son did not
see papa for many months. As we were pulling up my mother and sister
were also arriving. As my mother got out of the car and saw us, I
heard her say to my sister"oh,she's with him" (my son) this was not a
happy statement. We went in and My son was sitting on the floor. She
stood over him and very loudly said" You look like a girl!" because he
has long hair. I waited to see if my son would say something. He did.
He said: I am a boy with long hair! Then she loudly said" I don't like
it! Nice grandma tio insult a chid huh? She has a favorite grandchild
"C" because C is the daughter of her favorite son. She is always
saying what a doll she is. If that had been C sitting on the floor, no
way in hell would she had said that! My mother was talking to me one
day about her other great grandkids how ugly they were. Can you
imagine a grandmother saying that??? Luckily my dad came home but she
did manage to scowl at my son a few times. She is a sicko. It is sad
she can't find any joy in her grandchild. She also talks so rudely to
my dad's friends and customers that they hardly call. If you call and
she anwers she'll screech"Who's this?!" She never has come to our
house for my son's birthday or xmas. I told my DH what she did
yesterday and he wanted to know why i didn't get in her face and ask
her what her problem was when she was getting out of the car and
said"oh,she's with him" I told him it woudn't do any good. The real
sad thing is DS had a normal,loving Grandmother who passed away. I
think these things about her are enough reason to keep my son away
from her,for good, don't you? On the rare occasions we visited there
when Lukas was smaller she did strange harmful things to him that i
caught her doing and stopped. Once she opened the fridge trapping him
against the door of it and the wall edge and was just looking at
him,slighty pushing it to see if he would move. She put steak knives
on the table within his reach, refused to move pots off the front
burners when she invited us for dinner. She is sadistic! How can
someone be so miserable? When she was over my late M.I.L house for
Lukas' 2nd b-day she was the only one not smiling. I think it's best
to sever all ties don't you? She is in her 70's. I didn't mention how
she screams in the background when i'm talking to my dad on the phone
and other people said she does the same. She gives me the 3rd degree
when i want to speak with my dad:what do you want him for? Tell
me,why? He's sitting in the living room,tell me and i'll tell him! It
is very hard to get to talk to my dad. I told him he doesn't desrve to
be treated that way but he says"oh that's your mother,she's from
Brooklyn,N.Y. huh? Never met anyone like that from there.

Nancy Wooton

On Feb 27, 2008, at 4:38 PM, halfshadow1 wrote:

> She
> stood over him and very loudly said" You look like a girl!" because he
> has long hair. I waited to see if my son would say something. He did.
> He said: I am a boy with long hair!


Your son could say "I look like Jesus."

Nancy

Lara Miller

You get to choose your friends, but you don't get to choose your family (or do you?).
Anyhow, just because someone is family doesn't mean you HAVE to be a family with them.
It sounds like not only for the sake of your son, but for YOUR OWN mental health, put
some distance between you. Doesn't sound like she comes to your house, so that problem
is already solved. Meet your dad for lunch or coffee out. Call him at work or on his cell
phone. I am sure you can find a way to stay connected with him, but keep the toxic away.

We too have the hair comments. My boys have longer hair and almost on a daily basis,
someone calls them girls. Usually it is a stranger that honestly thinks they are girls and
says something like "oh look, you have three girls". The boys usually let these comments
slide off their backs. They are used to it, the strangers are making an honest mistake and
they boys know that they are capable of ending these mistakes by getting their hair cut. I
will take them any time they with to get their hair cut but they like it long and I think they
are very handsome. Now, family and friends feel that it is okay to be more rude. We
constantly get "when are you going to cut their hair", "they look like girls", "I can't believe
you let them have their hair that long". To which I always calmly comment, "it's their hair,
if they want it cut, they can get it cut, if not, they can have it how ever they want it". I
don't even bother having a conversation with anyone about it. Good grief, it is just hair
and it is THEIR hair! A year or more ago, Dh was having a really hard time letting go of
the hair control. I asked him, "would you make the boys grow their hair long if they didn't
want to but you wanted them to have long hair?" He answered, "of course not" to which I
replied "interesting" and let him ponder it a bit. He got the point.

Blessings,

Lara Miller

--- In [email protected], "halfshadow1" <halfshadow1@...> wrote:
>
> February 27
> Not Returning to toxic grandmas' house
> Yesterday we went to my parents house. Mostly because My son did not
> see papa for many months. As we were pulling up my mother and sister
> were also arriving. As my mother got out of the car and saw us, I
> heard her say to my sister"oh,she's with him" (my son) this was not a
> happy statement. We went in and My son was sitting on the floor. She
> stood over him and very loudly said" You look like a girl!" because he
> has long hair. I waited to see if my son would say something. He did.
> He said: I am a boy with long hair! Then she loudly said" I don't like
> it! Nice grandma tio insult a chid huh? She has a favorite grandchild
> "C" because C is the daughter of her favorite son. She is always
> saying what a doll she is. If that had been C sitting on the floor, no
> way in hell would she had said that! My mother was talking to me one
> day about her other great grandkids how ugly they were. Can you
> imagine a grandmother saying that??? Luckily my dad came home but she
> did manage to scowl at my son a few times. She is a sicko. It is sad
> she can't find any joy in her grandchild. She also talks so rudely to
> my dad's friends and customers that they hardly call. If you call and
> she anwers she'll screech"Who's this?!" She never has come to our
> house for my son's birthday or xmas. I told my DH what she did
> yesterday and he wanted to know why i didn't get in her face and ask
> her what her problem was when she was getting out of the car and
> said"oh,she's with him" I told him it woudn't do any good. The real
> sad thing is DS had a normal,loving Grandmother who passed away. I
> think these things about her are enough reason to keep my son away
> from her,for good, don't you? On the rare occasions we visited there
> when Lukas was smaller she did strange harmful things to him that i
> caught her doing and stopped. Once she opened the fridge trapping him
> against the door of it and the wall edge and was just looking at
> him,slighty pushing it to see if he would move. She put steak knives
> on the table within his reach, refused to move pots off the front
> burners when she invited us for dinner. She is sadistic! How can
> someone be so miserable? When she was over my late M.I.L house for
> Lukas' 2nd b-day she was the only one not smiling. I think it's best
> to sever all ties don't you? She is in her 70's. I didn't mention how
> she screams in the background when i'm talking to my dad on the phone
> and other people said she does the same. She gives me the 3rd degree
> when i want to speak with my dad:what do you want him for? Tell
> me,why? He's sitting in the living room,tell me and i'll tell him! It
> is very hard to get to talk to my dad. I told him he doesn't desrve to
> be treated that way but he says"oh that's your mother,she's from
> Brooklyn,N.Y. huh? Never met anyone like that from there.
>

Nicole Willoughby

Your son could say "I look like Jesus."

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Years back dh weighed a lot less ( whispers so did i ) and had a beard and hair down his back. He looked remarkably like jesus , was called jesus by most of our friends and would do his crucified pose .

He decided to cut it 4 or 5 years ago to take a job in it at a casino


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