strawlis

Just wanted to introduce myself to this group. I just joined and
have just recently....(officially last Sept).come to declaring my
children's and my families independence (for that matter) from
the "norm". I am ashamed to say that I was unaware of the RU or just
plain home schooling option....so I dutifully sent my two wonderfully
DD off to preschool and than elementary school and secretly I was
bitter, jealous and very sad to be away from them for so much of the
day. About a year ago I became aware of a large home schooling sec
in my area....and it was truly a light bulb moment...you mean I can
legally take my children out of school... OMG really.... where do I
sign-up ! I spent the rest of the school year education myself on
everything and all homeschooly...methods, my state laws ect. I am
blessed and not so blessed to live in an area, with a large
population of and acceptance of HS. So when I went public with our
announcement we did not get hit with the text book Knee Jerk
reaction......" Your going to do what!"...but instead it was...."
what curriculum are you going to use". Problem, I had no interest in
curriculums...or schooling at home. I have a degree in Early
Childhood Education...so I have a fairly good working knowledge of
how children our by nature.... natural and curious learners. So,
unschooling, made the most sense for us. We are still very much in
the Deschooling stage.... especially DH, myself and oldest DD
(9)...she was been in a schooly situation since the age of 3. But we
are happily tugging along so willing to embrace our new freedom from
the statis quo.

Elisabeth mother to Liv(9) and Lex(7)

Sandra Dodd

There's a lot of deschooling help to be had here:
http://sandradodd.com/deschooling

-=-I am ashamed to say that I was unaware of the RU or just
plain home schooling option-=-

Please don't use "RU." The creation of special language or jargon
instead of regular English presents problems. "Unschooling" is bad
enough, but let's use that for these discussions, please.

Thanks.



Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

tracyliebmann

Sandra, could you please explain what plain english would be for RU?
Would it be Radical Unschooling or is that still unacceptable, if so
what words do you use to describe the concept that is often called
RU/radical unschooling.

My son is very interested in words and where they came from, who was
the first person to use the word...that kind of thing. As new things
are being invented we come up with new words, right? The word
internet or "net" as many of us call it, did not exist before 1982,
now I would call it plain english wouldn't you. What's the
difference?
~Tracy



--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
wrote:
>
> There's a lot of deschooling help to be had here:
> http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
>
> -=-I am ashamed to say that I was unaware of the RU or just
> plain home schooling option-=-
>
> Please don't use "RU." The creation of special language or
jargon
> instead of regular English presents problems. "Unschooling" is
bad
> enough, but let's use that for these discussions, please.
>
> Thanks.
>
>
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Sandra Dodd

-=-Sandra, could you please explain what plain english would be for RU?
Would it be Radical Unschooling or is that still unacceptable, if so
what words do you use to describe the concept that is often called
RU/radical unschooling. -=-



Unschooling.

On this list, unless we're contrasting what we do to what others call
unschooling, it's "unschooling."

It's bad enough that outsiders will have to ask you "What is
unschooling?"

If you refer to "RU" and they as "What's RU?" (and the fact that it
sounds like "are you" makes it more irritating and off-putting), and
you say "Radical Unschooling," then they still have to ask "What's
Unschooling?"

-=-The word internet or "net" as many of us call it, did not exist
before 1982, now I would call it plain english wouldn't you. What's
the difference? -=-



The word "net" has existed for over a thousand years.

To call the internet "the net" is a shortening that's only
appropriate when the people you're dealing with know what you're
talking about. If you're talking to a grandmother who has no
computer, to talk about reading about RU on the net wouldn't even be
polite.

Sandra




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

-=My son is very interested in words and where they came from, who was
the first person to use the word...that kind of thing.-=-



Tell him not to believe everything he reads on the internet. There's
some blatant nonsense that goes around by e-mail about the origins of
terms and phrases.



http://sandradodd.com/etymology

There are some stories and links there for people interested in the
history of words. It's one of my favorite things ever. When I was
nine, I started buying books when I could. They were usually cheap
paperbacks, but two of my earliest purchases were a dictionary and a
book of word origins.



Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Lishelle

***Sandra wrote...If you're talking to a grandmother who has no
computer, to talk about reading about RU on the net wouldn't even be
polite.***

My Nana (84 and still living without a CD, VCR, or DVD player) told me
recently, "Couldn't you just get in "the Net" they use, Dear?"

Shell (in NZ)
DS8, DD5, DS 13 months


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

-=-My Nana (84 and still living without a CD, VCR, or DVD player)
told me
recently, "Couldn't you just get in "the Net" they use, Dear?"-=-

So she knows about it, and that's different.



Obfuscation and jargon are good to avoid, when they're avoidable.



Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

tracyliebmann

<BWG> Right On Nan!



--- In [email protected], "Lishelle" <mrsdebus@...> wrote:
>
> ***Sandra wrote...If you're talking to a grandmother who has no
> computer, to talk about reading about RU on the net wouldn't even be
> polite.***
>
> My Nana (84 and still living without a CD, VCR, or DVD player) told
me
> recently, "Couldn't you just get in "the Net" they use, Dear?"
>
> Shell (in NZ)
> DS8, DD5, DS 13 months
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

strawlis

--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:


> If you refer to "RU" and they as "What's RU?" (and the fact that it
> sounds like "are you" makes it more irritating and off-putting), and
> you say "Radical Unschooling," then they still have to ask "What's
> Unschooling?"
>

I see your point. I was, poorly using the term in my intro..to
mean..the expansion of this choice in my parenting relationship with my
two girls.
Which... acutually from birth and lots of tuning out of my MIL and
Mom's voices(and lots of outstounding coaching from my LaLeche
group)...I have always tried to be more on the peaceful/joyfull side of
parenting. Respecting my children and thier needs. Again I guiltfuly
admit...prior to our plunge....I imposed bed times....made desicion for
the sake of peace and time and had food control issue. ( this is a big
one from my childhood ) Regarding food I thought I was doing
good...cause I wasn't repeating my parents control...but I see
that...by not buying certain foods, making comments about what and how
much they should or shouldn't eat was...ugh guilting them....I was in
fact doing them a great disservice. But, I am a believer in when you
know better..you do better.

My quandary and I remind all that my DD(9) Liv is very much still in
heavy deschooling mode and surely testing us in all her new found
freedoms...seems to have taken on more of an aurthitative role when it
comes to younger sister(7)Lex..she bosses her around has little to no
patience for her and even gets physical with her..swatting/pushing her
in announace...We never hit/spanked our children... I try to get to the
root of the problem engage them in different activities...talk to each
of them sepertatly about thier feelings..give them ideas of how the
situtation could have been handled. How do I address her anger
properly? She's very self consious,self pitting and in her
words 'jealous..she see herself as always geting the shorter
stick...and again her words 'unlucky' . These are all such real
feeling I'm trying very hard to validate them...but fear that I'm not
doing such a good job...as this behavior that started a few month ago
continues. An example this past weekend I took DD's and friend of
Liv's to Hanna Montana Dance Party thrown by Radio Disney. Liv is a big
fan. They had a contest..and long story short Lex won two front row
tickets to Hanna Montana concert..of course they both went to the
concert and had a wonderfull time. But she can't seem to let go of how
unfair it is to her that Lex won. So we had a long talk about luck and
how some seem to have it more than others...same as stenghtens/talents
in people..but it's rooted more I think in jeolusy or better yet
needing more.

Elisabeth lavishly loving Mom to both Liv(9) and Lex(7)

Sandra Dodd

-=Liv is very much still in
heavy deschooling mode and surely testing us in all her new found
freedoms...-=-

Did you declare "do whatever" instead of giving her increasing
numbers of "Sure, why not?" yes answer? A hundred yesses is happy.
One big "do whatever you want" isn't so happy.

To look at is her "surely testing" you doesn't sound peaceful.

-=She's very self consious,self pitting and in her

words 'jealous..-=-



Find things that make her happy, things you can do with her that
don't involve her sister. Help her get more attention and focus
somehow, not as a time to talk about a younger sibling, but just to
*be.*

-=But she can't seem to let go of how unfair it is to her that Lex
won. So we had a long talk about luck and how some seem to have it
more than others...-=-

From that statement, it seems you're saying you assured her that Lex
might always have more luck, and that she might be right, that she
might be unlucky. Maybe playing some dice games would help her think
about random factors in life.



If she needs more, try to give her more. Find interesting,
distracting, engaging, surprising things for her to see, smell,
touch, taste and hear.



Sandra










[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

strawlis

--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=Liv is very much still in
> heavy deschooling mode and surely testing us in all her new found
> freedoms...-=-
>
> Did you declare "do whatever" instead of giving her increasing
> numbers of "Sure, why not?" yes answer? A hundred yesses is happy.
> One big "do whatever you want" isn't so happy.

> To look at is her "surely testing" you doesn't sound peaceful.


It's not.... and yes to some degree....we have conveyed 'whatever'.....
and I see your point..especially knowing she is needier.


> Maybe playing some dice games would help her think
> about random factors in life.


Great idea ! Thanks
>
> If she needs more, try to give her more. Find interesting,
> distracting, engaging, surprising things for her to see, smell,
> touch, taste and hear.


I will...I'm going to keep on keeping on in this direction. I want her
know she is loved.. I grew up so insecure in my self...I want her to be
confident and sercure in her skin.



Elisabeth mom to Liv(9) and Lex(7)



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

ENSEMBLE S-WAYNFORTH

When things get rough here the best time for me to deal with it is when things are good. When someone is hurt and upset and lashing out, all I can do in that moment is make sure that no one is getting hurt, that everyone is safe, and to give the person who feels so bad, so angry the space and comfort and whatever else they need until there is calm again. Try and come up with things that you can do to meet Liv's needs when she isn't angry or upset or bossing around her sister. Spend more time with her, play games, listen to music, dance to The Best of Both Worlds with wigs on, be more playful, more involved, more present.

I imagine that the deschooling time is a time of feeling a bit lost and a bit unsure of what is expected. It is probably also a point of intense boredom. Having been defined by someone else's limits for so long it must be hard to figure out something to do without help or input. There is a difference between recovery from school and getting antsy and bored and you have to be aware enough to catch the transition. Not that you should approach it with a top down "gonna give you something to do if you can't figure out what to do" sort of approach. Unschooling is time intensive. Parenting is time intensive, really, but school and daycare go a long way toward buffering parents from the time they need to invest in their children. Once you've given up those sorts buffers it is you who must give that time.

Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com



==============
My quandary and I remind all that my DD(9) Liv is very much still in
heavy deschooling mode and surely testing us in all her new found
freedoms...seems to have taken on more of an aurthitative role when it
comes to younger sister(7)Lex..she bosses her around has little to no
patience for her and even gets physical with her..swatting/pushing her
in announace...We never hit/spanked our children... I try to get to the
root of the problem engage them in different activities...talk to each
of them sepertatly about thier feelings..give them ideas of how the
situtation could have been handled. How do I address her anger
properly? She's very self consious,self pitting and in her
words 'jealous..she see herself as always geting the shorter
stick...and again her words 'unlucky' . These are all such real
feeling I'm trying very hard to validate them...but fear that I'm not
doing such a good job...as this behavior that started a few month ago
continues. An example this past weekend I took DD's and friend of
Liv's to Hanna Montana Dance Party thrown by Radio Disney. Liv is a big
fan. They had a contest..and long story short Lex won two front row
tickets to Hanna Montana concert..of course they both went to the
concert and had a wonderfull time. But she can't seem to let go of how
unfair it is to her that Lex won. So we had a long talk about luck and
how some seem to have it more than others...same as stenghtens/talents
in people..but it's rooted more I think in jeolusy or better yet
needing more.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]