Amanda Horein

*How do you meet the needs of 2 or more children when they want different
and often conflicting things? * For example, today dd (4) wanted me to sit
and watch a movie with her. DD (7) wanted me to make her some lunch. I did
end up doing both, but narrowly avoided a meltdown by dd (4) because her
attention was mainly with the movie. The meltdown came a few minutes later
when I brought the girls lunch. Apparently dd (4) didn't want mac and
cheese. In fact, she wasn't hungry. She was thirsty. I had brought her
water, but she wanted sprite. I felt that I handled that decently though.
I just turned around, went back to the kitchen, put the mac & cheese on the
counter and got the sprite. I do think that I could have done it with more
love though.

What do you all do to meet the needs of both or all children when many of
times things are conflicting?

Wife to Roger (nearly 10 years)
Mum to Marti (7) and Lilly (4)
Babysitter to Stella (3)

Since we can't know what knowledge will be most needed in the future, it is
senseless to try to teach it in advance. Instead, we should try to turn out
people who love learning so much and learn so well that they will be able to
learn whatever needs to be learned

� John Holt

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Gold Standard

>> *How do you meet the needs of 2 or more children when they want different
>>and often conflicting things? *<<

I remember for a long time it looked and felt kinda messy in my house on
this front. Because of your children's ages, they probably aren't going to
be all that patient waiting for anything, even if it's for a good reason
(like you are helping someone else). But if you keep your response pleasant
and loving, and do seek to support them while they are waiting ("I know
you're waiting for that...I'll have it to you in____[fill in the blank for
how much time it will take]), over time they'll "get it" that you are a
great ally for them, that you do all that you can for them, and they are
MUCH more likely (in fact, pretty surely) to do for you and each other in
the same kind way. And to be thankful (something that is probably in the
beginning stages right now for them).

My kids are 18, 17, 15, and 13 and are quite patient and thankful for
anything I do for them now. They are each very different from the other, so
I don't think it's genetic :o)


Pam Tellew

<<>> *How do you meet the needs of 2 or more children when they want
>>and often conflicting things? *<<
Somebody once advised me to be lovingly "there" in the little
workaday moments of feeding, changing diapers, brushing hair and
teeth, tying shoes, because sometimes it seems like that's all there
is when they're little. If they're feeling nurtured and you're
taking pleasure in those moments, everyone's bucket will be a little
more full and it will make it a little easier to deal with those
times when needs are different and there's conflict. Not necessarily
easy, but it helps not to have to deal with those conflicts when
someone's running on empty - you or the kids.


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