halfshadow1

I can't believe it! Two cps workers showed up with a cop an hour ago
because someone called on my son (5yo.) running around naked outside!
And said we have a trashy yard...wtf! Where is the trash??? There's
only kids toys in the back!! So, they came in and asked questions and
said it will be closed but they will be back in a month. I was
shaking,crying a bit. Now, i have a friggin record!!!
The call was made at 11:35 am today. I can't believe someone would not
have the decentcy to address the issue with me instead of calling them!!
I have to calm down but just wanted to tell you all what happened and
if anyone has any advice.

Mary Draper

***I can't believe it! Two cps workers showed up with a cop an hour ago
because someone called on my son (5yo.) running around naked outside!
And said we have a trashy yard...wtf! Where is the trash??? There's
only kids toys in the back!! So, they came in and asked questions and
said it will be closed but they will be back in a month. I was
shaking,crying a bit. Now, i have a friggin record!!!
The call was made at 11:35 am today. I can't believe someone would not
have the decentcy to address the issue with me instead of calling them!!
I have to calm down but just wanted to tell you all what happened and
if anyone has any advice.***

In our very homeschooling friendly state, CT, there is a procedure for
anyone in your situation. The lawyer in our state is a homeschooling mom,
has a national organization (National Home Education Legal Defense) and is
excellent. She is one of the reasons our state's laws are so homeschooling
friendly! She may be able to help you. Go to: www.NHELD.com
<http://www.nheld.com/> . I believe people in your situation have gotten
their records cleared. By the way, I think it is wonderful your son has the
freedom to run around naked.

Mary





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

-=-By the way, I think it is wonderful your son has the
freedom to run around naked.-=-

But depending where you live, he might NOT have that freedom.

If he was in the front yard instead of the back, or if your neighbors
can see your back yard and he was running around naked, that honestly
might not be legal or sufficiently friendly.

My kids did lots of nekkid water play in our back yard, with a high
fence, with a good patio roof for shade, with friends over, mixed
groups. Had they done that in the front yard, at the advanced ages
of five or six, I'm sure people would've called and complained to the
city.

Pretty much a person's right not to see a penis outweighs a person's
right to show his penis. So really, it's worth finding out and
considering the feelings of the neighbors.

It's not about unschooling or homeschooling. Schoolkids could be
playing nekkid in summer.

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Joylyn

Hi

First stop freaking out. It's ok. As someone told me once, act like
everything I do is Fine, is OK is wonderful, and others are more likely
to see it as Fine, OK, and wonderful. If I act like my actions, as a
parent or as a person, are not fine, OK and wonderful, others might
question me.

I've had CPS three times in our house. Because of a nasty divorce, with
my ex making bad choices regarding his parenting. All of them turned
out fine. Why? Because I am a good mom doing the best I can under
difficult circumstances. The visits were stressful, but the above
advice served me well. During our first visit the
homeschooling/unschooling issue didn't even come up, although I had to
educate the social worker on vaccination laws and education laws, which
I did sweetly and with obviously knowledge. Honestly, if they didn't
remove your child today, it's not going to happen. They said they'd
close the case, so obviously all is fine.

BTW, I have friends who are social workers and they say they'd rather
see a house with child clutter, meaning the children have freedom to
play and get toys out, than a perfectly clean house with no clutter. :-)

Joylyn

halfshadow1 wrote:

> I can't believe it! Two cps workers showed up with a cop an hour ago
> because someone called on my son (5yo.) running around naked outside!
> And said we have a trashy yard...wtf! Where is the trash??? There's
> only kids toys in the back!! So, they came in and asked questions and
> said it will be closed but they will be back in a month. I was
> shaking,crying a bit. Now, i have a friggin record!!!
> The call was made at 11:35 am today. I can't believe someone would not
> have the decentcy to address the issue with me instead of calling them!!
> I have to calm down but just wanted to tell you all what happened and
> if anyone has any advice.
>
>
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>No virus found in this incoming message.
>Checked by AVG Free Edition.
>Version: 7.5.476 / Virus Database: 269.10.4/898 - Release Date: 7/12/2007 4:08 PM
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

halfshadow1

One of the workers asked us if he was in a pre-school. I said he is
homeschooled but my dh was kinda freaked by the question, I had to
tell him that homeschooling is legal is all 50 states. I wonder why
they would ask that of my son? They also wanted to see where he slept.
I am shook up because..why me? I am such a loving mom and i don't
deserve to be called on.Trying to enjoy life and something crappy like
this happens.--- In [email protected], Joylyn
<joylyn1@...> wrote:
>
> Hi
>
> First stop freaking out. It's ok. As someone told me once, act like
> everything I do is Fine, is OK is wonderful, and others are more likely
> to see it as Fine, OK, and wonderful. If I act like my actions, as a
> parent or as a person, are not fine, OK and wonderful, others might
> question me.
>
> I've had CPS three times in our house. Because of a nasty divorce,
with
> my ex making bad choices regarding his parenting. All of them turned
> out fine. Why? Because I am a good mom doing the best I can under
> difficult circumstances. The visits were stressful, but the above
> advice served me well. During our first visit the
> homeschooling/unschooling issue didn't even come up, although I had to
> educate the social worker on vaccination laws and education laws, which
> I did sweetly and with obviously knowledge. Honestly, if they didn't
> remove your child today, it's not going to happen. They said they'd
> close the case, so obviously all is fine.
>
> BTW, I have friends who are social workers and they say they'd rather
> see a house with child clutter, meaning the children have freedom to
> play and get toys out, than a perfectly clean house with no clutter.
:-)
>
> Joylyn
>
> halfshadow1 wrote:
>
> > I can't believe it! Two cps workers showed up with a cop an hour ago
> > because someone called on my son (5yo.) running around naked outside!
> > And said we have a trashy yard...wtf! Where is the trash??? There's
> > only kids toys in the back!! So, they came in and asked questions and
> > said it will be closed but they will be back in a month. I was
> > shaking,crying a bit. Now, i have a friggin record!!!
> > The call was made at 11:35 am today. I can't believe someone would not
> > have the decentcy to address the issue with me instead of calling
them!!
> > I have to calm down but just wanted to tell you all what happened and
> > if anyone has any advice.
> >
> >
> >
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> >No virus found in this incoming message.
> >Checked by AVG Free Edition.
> >Version: 7.5.476 / Virus Database: 269.10.4/898 - Release Date:
7/12/2007 4:08 PM
> >
> >
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

C Johnson

It will be okay. I don't know where you live, but in Oklahoma where I live, I have had them at my old house at least 7 times due to relatives with issues. They never even brought up the past visits and my relative said all kinds of crazy things about my family every time. I have a drawer full of follow up letters. Just remember they do not remove children from their home because they were running around naked outside. They take children who they feel are being abused.

Chrissie

halfshadow1 <halfshadow1@...> wrote:
I can't believe it! Two cps workers showed up with a cop an hour ago
because someone called on my son (5yo.) running around naked outside!
And said we have a trashy yard...wtf! Where is the trash??? There's
only kids toys in the back!! So, they came in and asked questions and
said it will be closed but they will be back in a month. I was
shaking,crying a bit. Now, i have a friggin record!!!
The call was made at 11:35 am today. I can't believe someone would not
have the decentcy to address the issue with me instead of calling them!!
I have to calm down but just wanted to tell you all what happened and
if anyone has any advice.






"All you have to decide is what to do with the time you have been given." Gandalf

---------------------------------
Got a little couch potato?
Check out fun summer activities for kids.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

halfshadow1

Thank you. I live in florida. I have been trying to find out the law
with children being naked. Surely, it's okay for a one yo. I would
like to know the age at which it is against the law. I'm not having
much luck finding the answer. I feel like my parenting is *tarnished*
(i think might be the word)because they were called on me.I would had
liked to raised him and never had cps called.Does that make sense?---
In [email protected], C Johnson <piscesmomx3@...> wrote:
>
> It will be okay. I don't know where you live, but in Oklahoma where
I live, I have had them at my old house at least 7 times due to
relatives with issues. They never even brought up the past visits and
my relative said all kinds of crazy things about my family every time.
I have a drawer full of follow up letters. Just remember they do not
remove children from their home because they were running around naked
outside. They take children who they feel are being abused.
>
> Chrissie
>
> halfshadow1 <halfshadow1@...> wrote:
> I can't believe it! Two cps workers showed up with a cop
an hour ago
> because someone called on my son (5yo.) running around naked outside!
> And said we have a trashy yard...wtf! Where is the trash??? There's
> only kids toys in the back!! So, they came in and asked questions and
> said it will be closed but they will be back in a month. I was
> shaking,crying a bit. Now, i have a friggin record!!!
> The call was made at 11:35 am today. I can't believe someone would not
> have the decentcy to address the issue with me instead of calling them!!
> I have to calm down but just wanted to tell you all what happened and
> if anyone has any advice.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> "All you have to decide is what to do with the time you have been
given." Gandalf
>
> ---------------------------------
> Got a little couch potato?
> Check out fun summer activities for kids.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

C Johnson

Yes that makes sense. Sometimes in our society when we live outside of the box CPS is called because other people just do not understand how we choose to live.

Chrissie

halfshadow1 <halfshadow1@...> wrote:
Thank you. I live in florida. I have been trying to find out the law
with children being naked. Surely, it's okay for a one yo. I would
like to know the age at which it is against the law. I'm not having
much luck finding the answer. I feel like my parenting is *tarnished*
(i think might be the word)because they were called on me.I would had
liked to raised him and never had cps called.Does that make sense?---
In [email protected], C Johnson <piscesmomx3@...> wrote:
>
> It will be okay. I don't know where you live, but in Oklahoma where
I live, I have had them at my old house at least 7 times due to
relatives with issues. They never even brought up the past visits and
my relative said all kinds of crazy things about my family every time.
I have a drawer full of follow up letters. Just remember they do not
remove children from their home because they were running around naked
outside. They take children who they feel are being abused.
>
> Chrissie
>
> halfshadow1 <halfshadow1@...> wrote:
> I can't believe it! Two cps workers showed up with a cop
an hour ago
> because someone called on my son (5yo.) running around naked outside!
> And said we have a trashy yard...wtf! Where is the trash??? There's
> only kids toys in the back!! So, they came in and asked questions and
> said it will be closed but they will be back in a month. I was
> shaking,crying a bit. Now, i have a friggin record!!!
> The call was made at 11:35 am today. I can't believe someone would not
> have the decentcy to address the issue with me instead of calling them!!
> I have to calm down but just wanted to tell you all what happened and
> if anyone has any advice.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> "All you have to decide is what to do with the time you have been
given." Gandalf
>
> ---------------------------------
> Got a little couch potato?
> Check out fun summer activities for kids.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>






"All you have to decide is what to do with the time you have been given." Gandalf

---------------------------------
Got a little couch potato?
Check out fun summer activities for kids.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

I used to be a Department of Children's Services Social worker and did some
CPS work. First of all. Nudity in and of itself is not at all child abuse.
Unless someone (the adult) is gaining sexual gratification it is not sexual
abuse or should in anyway be considered so. I agree with the previous poster.
You did nothing wrong so be confident in that. I was an approved foster home,
adoptive parent and was a children's services social worker and had CPS called
on me 5 times. (Annoying nosy body neighbor) Each time I just said come on
in we have nothing to hide. It will be fine. Clutter is not neglect or abuse.
Especially outside. I've got toys everywhere here. If that's abuse or neglect
my kids would be gone by now. Oh and five year olds have a tendency to strip.
My youngest sister went to kindergarten her first day stripped down to her
underwear if the teacher hadn't caught her she would have been nude. : ) Mom
never could keep clothes on that child. : ) Again be confident in your
parenting abilities. You know you are a good parent. I will keep you in my prayers
and if there is anything I can do to help let me know.

Mary Moses




************************************** Get a sneak peak of the all-new AOL at
http://discover.aol.com/memed/aolcom30tour


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

-=-First of all. Nudity in and of itself is not at all child abuse. -=-

No, but it could be considered neglect.

Parents have a duty to provide for children, and there are phrases
like "clothe and feed" that are so deeply a part of our culture that
a child being hungry, having no food in the house, a child not owning
or wearing clothes appropriate to the season/weather, can all be
termed neglect.

-=-I agree with the previous poster.
You did nothing wrong so be confident in that. -=-

Laws vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction--state to state, county
to county (township, parish, whatever that state has), town to
town. The concept of "community standards" means that what is
acceptable in one place, what is deemed decent or okay (by social
workers or judges or juries or whatever) is what's to be considered
okay.

-=-. Clutter is not neglect or abuse. Especially outside. -=-

A statement like this just can't be made. Beyond all I wrote above,
some neighborhoods have binding covenants making it illegal to have
clutter. There are neighborhoods with the weirdest laws, and if a
family has relatives or neighbors willing to call the county or the
state on them, they need to find out what local rules and laws are,
not take the word of anyone on an international discussion list about
what is or isn't legal.

In our city it's illegal to have a non-running vehicle, even in the
back yard. It seems like a stupid law, but there it is. It's not
child neglect just to have one, but if a kid got hurt playing in an
old pickup (we own two, both of which run, but they don't look like
they'd run, just to look at them), then the other law can be called
out and it would could be neglect to follow the law, to supervise
children, to exercise due caution.

-=-Again be confident in your parenting abilities. You know you are a
good parent.-=-

If the person who wrote that is friends with the original poster,
take the reassurances private. If someone who didn't even know a
person at all wrote that, please don't do it on this list.
Seriously. We can't see each other. Even people I've met, unless
I've known them for a long time, could be putting on a show for me.

I assume people are good parents, but I'm not going to reassure
someone blindly and I'd prefer not to provide a list for others to do
so on. Let's talk about ideas and not people, even in the most
positive of ways, whenever we can.

Sandra




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Nicole Willoughby

One of the workers asked us if he was in a pre-school. I said he is
homeschooled but my dh was kinda freaked by the question, I had to
tell him that homeschooling is legal is all 50 states. I wonder why
they would ask that of my son? They also wanted to see where he slept.>>>>

IVe dealt with cps in several different ways and in different places. Ive done er nursing, taken foster parenting classes , and my 3 god children were taken away by cps 6months ago........one is still in foster care, other 2 were returned 3 weeks ago.

In most places cps really supports the parents and isnt out to get you . They look for several things but what is acceptable varies from places to place and things like finances are usualy taken into consideration. For example I was raised in Houston, TX and never once slept in my parents bed nor had I ever heard of any of my friends. Dh was raised in Lousiana and where he was it was very common for family members to sleep in a bed together, mom, dad kids, grandma and grandchilren, etc.

Anyway on the question of school.....if he was in school they would likely speak with his teacher, the nurse, etc to see if any concerns came up. Also they just like to know that the kids development is being supported.
The bed question. I think they do want to know he has a safe comfortable and clean place to sleep .....but I also think its a good excuse to be able to do a quick glance through the house. :)

It sounds like things are going to be ok. I would suggest taking pics TODAY . The yard, the area he sleeps, a cabinet full of food, and any areas that were messy.
In the off chance you end up in court and you have a cps worker tryt to say well the house was messy your lawyer may be able to use the pictures to show well yes it was messy ....we have some cars here and paper and markers laying out.
If they do come back out once again take pictures as soon as they leave.

Good luck,
Nicole


---------------------------------
Shape Yahoo! in your own image. Join our Network Research Panel today!

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

halfshadow1

There is nothing in the front yard..no trash. Anyone is welcome to
come and see. Whoever reported that made it up. I think i am a good
parent, lets see, i respect my child,love him,listen to him,don't
yell,don't spank and i thought i was giving him a choice to wear
clothes or not.ya know..an unschooling thing..choices. It is not
neglect. He owns plenty of clothes. LIke someone else said...it has
been very hard keeping clothes on him!!The ironic thing is,there was a
grandma giving her grandson blackeyes and such across the street and
they pick me to report...huh!If i was too write here and say my son
doesn't want to wear clothes but i am making him wouldn't people say i
wasn't giving him choices over his body? --- In
[email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=-First of all. Nudity in and of itself is not at all child abuse. -=-
>
> No, but it could be considered neglect.
>
> Parents have a duty to provide for children, and there are phrases
> like "clothe and feed" that are so deeply a part of our culture that
> a child being hungry, having no food in the house, a child not owning
> or wearing clothes appropriate to the season/weather, can all be
> termed neglect.
>
> -=-I agree with the previous poster.
> You did nothing wrong so be confident in that. -=-
>
> Laws vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction--state to state, county
> to county (township, parish, whatever that state has), town to
> town. The concept of "community standards" means that what is
> acceptable in one place, what is deemed decent or okay (by social
> workers or judges or juries or whatever) is what's to be considered
> okay.
>
> -=-. Clutter is not neglect or abuse. Especially outside. -=-
>
> A statement like this just can't be made. Beyond all I wrote above,
> some neighborhoods have binding covenants making it illegal to have
> clutter. There are neighborhoods with the weirdest laws, and if a
> family has relatives or neighbors willing to call the county or the
> state on them, they need to find out what local rules and laws are,
> not take the word of anyone on an international discussion list about
> what is or isn't legal.
>
> In our city it's illegal to have a non-running vehicle, even in the
> back yard. It seems like a stupid law, but there it is. It's not
> child neglect just to have one, but if a kid got hurt playing in an
> old pickup (we own two, both of which run, but they don't look like
> they'd run, just to look at them), then the other law can be called
> out and it would could be neglect to follow the law, to supervise
> children, to exercise due caution.
>
> -=-Again be confident in your parenting abilities. You know you are a
> good parent.-=-
>
> If the person who wrote that is friends with the original poster,
> take the reassurances private. If someone who didn't even know a
> person at all wrote that, please don't do it on this list.
> Seriously. We can't see each other. Even people I've met, unless
> I've known them for a long time, could be putting on a show for me.
>
> I assume people are good parents, but I'm not going to reassure
> someone blindly and I'd prefer not to provide a list for others to do
> so on. Let's talk about ideas and not people, even in the most
> positive of ways, whenever we can.
>
> Sandra
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

halfshadow1

-Most of the time he was naked he was in the pool going to or from the
house. It is 95 degrees here...very hot for clothes.-- In
[email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=-First of all. Nudity in and of itself is not at all child abuse. -=-
>
> No, but it could be considered neglect.
>
> Parents have a duty to provide for children, and there are phrases
> like "clothe and feed" that are so deeply a part of our culture that
> a child being hungry, having no food in the house, a child not owning
> or wearing clothes appropriate to the season/weather, can all be
> termed neglect.
>
> -=-I agree with the previous poster.
> You did nothing wrong so be confident in that. -=-
>
> Laws vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction--state to state, county
> to county (township, parish, whatever that state has), town to
> town. The concept of "community standards" means that what is
> acceptable in one place, what is deemed decent or okay (by social
> workers or judges or juries or whatever) is what's to be considered
> okay.
>
> -=-. Clutter is not neglect or abuse. Especially outside. -=-
>
> A statement like this just can't be made. Beyond all I wrote above,
> some neighborhoods have binding covenants making it illegal to have
> clutter. There are neighborhoods with the weirdest laws, and if a
> family has relatives or neighbors willing to call the county or the
> state on them, they need to find out what local rules and laws are,
> not take the word of anyone on an international discussion list about
> what is or isn't legal.
>
> In our city it's illegal to have a non-running vehicle, even in the
> back yard. It seems like a stupid law, but there it is. It's not
> child neglect just to have one, but if a kid got hurt playing in an
> old pickup (we own two, both of which run, but they don't look like
> they'd run, just to look at them), then the other law can be called
> out and it would could be neglect to follow the law, to supervise
> children, to exercise due caution.
>
> -=-Again be confident in your parenting abilities. You know you are a
> good parent.-=-
>
> If the person who wrote that is friends with the original poster,
> take the reassurances private. If someone who didn't even know a
> person at all wrote that, please don't do it on this list.
> Seriously. We can't see each other. Even people I've met, unless
> I've known them for a long time, could be putting on a show for me.
>
> I assume people are good parents, but I'm not going to reassure
> someone blindly and I'd prefer not to provide a list for others to do
> so on. Let's talk about ideas and not people, even in the most
> positive of ways, whenever we can.
>
> Sandra
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Sandra Dodd

-=-If i was too write here and say my son
doesn't want to wear clothes but i am making him wouldn't people say i
wasn't giving him choices over his body? -=-

Giving choices doesn't mean giving all the choices in the whole
world. It means not making arbitrary decisions for him.

What people you don't even know might think (what you imagine they
might say on a list) isn't nearly as real as what a social worker
thinks in your own town.

Going through your list of what's what is great, because the more
you've thought about it (not panicked, but analyzed calmly), the
better prepared you'll be to respond at the return.

You might be living where nudity of whatever sort there was is
absolutely not a problem. You might not be. Nobody here knows and
it doesn't matter. What does matter is that you consider that it's
different different places, and it's worth considering (for anyone,
anywhere) what the neighbors think. I don't live and die by what my
neighbors think, but it would be as wrong to live for them wholly as
it would be to disregard them totally and do whatever I want
regardless of the effect on the neighbors.

Balance is worth attempting.

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

"No, but it could be considered neglect.

Parents have a duty to provide for children, and there are phrases
like "clothe and feed" that are so deeply a part of our culture that
a child being hungry, having no food in the house, a child not owning
or wearing clothes appropriate to the season/weather, can all be
termed neglect."

The only thing mentioned by the poster was the nudity by the child and the
yard. It is not neglect for a child, especially a 5 yr. old to be running
around naked in the summer, especially while playing in a pool. I could get that
one thrown out of court very quickly.


Laws vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction-Laws vary from jurisdictio
to county (township, parish, whatever that state has), town to
town. The concept of "community standards" means that what is
acceptable in one place, what is deemed decent or okay (by social
workers or judges or juries or whatever) is what's to be considered
okay.

Laws do vary by state. But not all. And even if your state or your community
states that nudity is not allowed. You are breaking the law or ordinance
not committing child abuse. Big difference. I do agree though that each
individual should know what the laws and ordinances in there area are so as to avoid
those type of situations. Especially those who homeschool or unschool,
because we are more closely scrutinized by others.

A statement like this just can't be made. Beyond all I wrote above,
some neighborhoods have binding covenants making it illegal to have
clutter. There are neighborhoods with the weirdest laws, and if a
family has relatives or neighbors willing to call the county or the
state on them, they need to find out what local rules and laws are,
not take the word of anyone on an international discussion list about
what is or isn't legal.

In our city it's illegal to have a non-running vehicle, even in the
back yard. It seems like a stupid law, but there it is. It's not
child neglect just to have one, but if a kid got hurt playing in an
old pickup (we own two, both of which run, but they don't look like
they'd run, just to look at them), then the other law can be called
out and it would could be neglect to follow the law, to supervise
children, to exercise due caution.

Again, these are laws or ordinances that you would be breaking which you
could be fined or prosecuted for but they are not child abuse or neglect.

If the person who wrote that is friends with the original poster,
take the reassurances private. If someone who didn't even know a
person at all wrote that, please don't do it on this list.
Seriously. We can't see each other. Even people I've met, unless
I've known them for a long time, could be putting on a show for me.

I assume people are good parents, but I'm not going to reassure
someone blindly and I'd prefer not to provide a list for others to do
so on. Let's talk about ideas and not people, even in the most
positive of ways, whenever we can.

Well, it's your board Sandra so I will agree to do as you ask. However, may
I point out that others encourage each others often on this board. Maybe I
should have reworded my statement and said, " If you know you are doing nothing
wrong and know that you are a good parent, then be confident in that. " Wou
ld that statement have been better?

It seems any time that CPS is mentioned people just freak out. That is not a
good thing to do when you are faced with an investigation it can cause you
to look guilty. Would you all like me to leave the group? I ask this because
I have been asked by other un-schooling and home schooling groups in the past
when they find out I am a former CPS worker. I have been a CPS investigator
but I have also been an advocate for children's right's and an advocate for
parent's rights. SOme of those right's being their right to choose the type of
education their children receive and their right to raise their child how
they want even though it may not be the norm for society. I however, and let me
make this very clear, in no way advocate for abuse or neglect of children.
That is the most horrible offense that our world has. Children are our gifts
from God and we are given their lives to support, love and train so that they
can grow into mature loving, well rounded adults. Abusing an innocent child
would put that person at the top of my list of un-worthy adults. Ok now me and
my children (their's 8 of them) are going shopping, should be fun, but if I
don't post again today it could mean that they totally wore me out, and I am
at home having a calgon take me away moment. : )




Mary Moses
_http://www.beautipage.com/marymoses_ (http://www.beautipage.com/marymoses)
_http://www.mineralgirlz.com/members/glamourgal/_
(http://www.mineralgirlz.com/members/glamourgal/)



************************************** Get a sneak peak of the all-new AOL at
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

I let that long critical post through even though it's not marked as
to who wrote what.

I'm going to re-post it with markings. Please, everybody, put marks
around quotes, either *** this*** or something.

Sandra

Sandra Dodd

Mary Moses quoting Sandra Dodd:

-=-"No, but it could be considered neglect.

-=-Parents have a duty to provide for children, and there are phrases
like "clothe and feed" that are so deeply a part of our culture that
a child being hungry, having no food in the house, a child not owning
or wearing clothes appropriate to the season/weather, can all be
termed neglect."-=-



Mary Moses:

The only thing mentioned by the poster was the nudity by the child
and the
yard. It is not neglect for a child, especially a 5 yr. old to be
running
around naked in the summer, especially while playing in a pool. I
could get that
one thrown out of court very quickly.


Mary Moses quoting Sandra Dodd:

-=-Laws vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction-Laws vary from
jurisdictio
to county (township, parish, whatever that state has), town to
town. The concept of "community standards" means that what is
acceptable in one place, what is deemed decent or okay (by social
workers or judges or juries or whatever) is what's to be considered
okay.-=-


Mary Moses:


Laws do vary by state. But not all. And even if your state or your
community
states that nudity is not allowed. You are breaking the law or ordinance
not committing child abuse. Big difference. I do agree though that each
individual should know what the laws and ordinances in there area are
so as to avoid
those type of situations. Especially those who homeschool or unschool,
because we are more closely scrutinized by others.



Mary Moses quoting Sandra Dodd:

-=-A statement like this just can't be made. Beyond all I wrote above,
some neighborhoods have binding covenants making it illegal to have
clutter. There are neighborhoods with the weirdest laws, and if a
family has relatives or neighbors willing to call the county or the
state on them, they need to find out what local rules and laws are,
not take the word of anyone on an international discussion list about
what is or isn't legal.

-=-In our city it's illegal to have a non-running vehicle, even in the
back yard. It seems like a stupid law, but there it is. It's not
child neglect just to have one, but if a kid got hurt playing in an
old pickup (we own two, both of which run, but they don't look like
they'd run, just to look at them), then the other law can be called
out and it would could be neglect to follow the law, to supervise
children, to exercise due caution.-=-



Mary Moses:

Again, these are laws or ordinances that you would be breaking which you
could be fined or prosecuted for but they are not child abuse or
neglect.


Mary Moses quoting Sandra Dodd:


-=-If the person who wrote that is friends with the original poster,
take the reassurances private. If someone who didn't even know a
person at all wrote that, please don't do it on this list.
Seriously. We can't see each other. Even people I've met, unless
I've known them for a long time, could be putting on a show for me.

-=-I assume people are good parents, but I'm not going to reassure
someone blindly and I'd prefer not to provide a list for others to do
so on. Let's talk about ideas and not people, even in the most
positive of ways, whenever we can.-=-



Mary Moses:

Well, it's your board Sandra so I will agree to do as you ask.
However, may
I point out that others encourage each others often on this board.
Maybe I
should have reworded my statement and said, " If you know you are
doing nothing
wrong and know that you are a good parent, then be confident in that.
" Wou
ld that statement have been better?

It seems any time that CPS is mentioned people just freak out. That
is not a
good thing to do when you are faced with an investigation it can
cause you
to look guilty. Would you all like me to leave the group? I ask this
because
I have been asked by other un-schooling and home schooling groups in
the past
when they find out I am a former CPS worker. I have been a CPS
investigator
but I have also been an advocate for children's right's and an
advocate for
parent's rights. SOme of those right's being their right to choose
the type of
education their children receive and their right to raise their child
how
they want even though it may not be the norm for society. I however,
and let me
make this very clear, in no way advocate for abuse or neglect of
children.
That is the most horrible offense that our world has. Children are
our gifts
from God and we are given their lives to support, love and train so
that they
can grow into mature loving, well rounded adults. Abusing an innocent
child
would put that person at the top of my list of un-worthy adults. Ok
now me and
my children (their's 8 of them) are going shopping, should be fun,
but if I
don't post again today it could mean that they totally wore me out,
and I am
at home having a calgon take me away moment. : )

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

-=-The only thing mentioned by the poster was the nudity by the child
and the yard.-=-

This is a discussion list. Once something is put out, we're
discussing the idea and its connecting ideas, not the particulars.
And if we limit to only things a poster mentions, we can't help them
with anything more than they thought they needed (thinking about
learning-related questions here, not the CPS question, though it
still applies).

-=-Laws do vary by state. But not all. -=-

!?!
Please, hundreds of people read this list. Write carefully. Only
quote the parts to which you're responding. Differentiate quotes
from responses.

-=-Well, it's your board Sandra so I will agree to do as you ask. -=-

It's a list.
This is a board: http://unschooling.info/forum/active.asp
Clarity with language helps in every case in which language is all we
have, such as on a discussion list, or message board.


-=-However, may I point out that others encourage each others often
on this board. -=-

Did you think I was unaware that a list I created involved
encouragement of others?

Encouraging people to find ways to keep their families happy and to
continue to unschool very often involves reminding them to know what
the laws are where they live.


-=-Maybe I
should have reworded my statement and said, " If you know you are
doing nothing
wrong and know that you are a good parent, then be confident in that.
" Would that statement have been better?-=-

ABSOLUTELY!!!
That would be better for being useful, and true.

-=-Would you all like me to leave the group-=-

No, but I would like for everyone who posts here to post with care
and consider whether any and every statement will help someone who's
lurking and might never reveal herself by posting.

A blanket "You're a great mom," to a stranger, or "You know your
child better than anyone" or "You're doing a great job!" is worse
than saying nothing. It's fluff and nonsense, to write that to
someone you've never even seen. Those who desire such messages
desire fluff and nonsense, and I don't want them to find it on this
list.

Sandra







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]