Vida

And right now my other dreamlet is picking the skin around her
fingertips and nails. She's been doing that for a week now... all
day practically during pauses in play, while watching a movie,
talking now on the couch. It seems excessive and I don't know how to
approach it. Or should I just leave it alone and not say anything?
Her skin is already getting raw. It worries me because I can be
obsessive with skin issues.... for instance it is nearly impossible
for me not to squeeze a pore or zit or hair follicle stuck in my
skin.....

Any ideas?

Vida

C Johnson

Is she under any kind of stress that you know of? Because when I am upset, stressed, worried, etc... I notice I pick at my fingernails a lot.

Chrissie

Vida <vidamel@...> wrote:
And right now my other dreamlet is picking the skin around her
fingertips and nails. She's been doing that for a week now... all
day practically during pauses in play, while watching a movie,
talking now on the couch. It seems excessive and I don't know how to
approach it. Or should I just leave it alone and not say anything?
Her skin is already getting raw. It worries me because I can be
obsessive with skin issues.... for instance it is nearly impossible
for me not to squeeze a pore or zit or hair follicle stuck in my
skin.....

Any ideas?

Vida





"All you have to decide is what to do with the time you have been given." Gandalf

---------------------------------
Looking for earth-friendly autos?
Browse Top Cars by "Green Rating" at Yahoo! Autos' Green Center.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

huntmom1996

My dd likes to pull at stuff like the couch and throw blanket
strings, and son starts to toss pillows off the couch, so we plan
around that.

We have loads of stuff around our couch (right now there is duct tape
for duct tape bags and wallets, paper dolls and scissors, legos, some
knitting and a lap loom, one of those tubes filled with water and
stuff, and some wooden spoons ~ not exactly sure *why* they are there
lol).

Maybe she'd like to learn to finger knit while her skin heals a bit?
Also, maybe keeping lotion around will keep the skin smoother. For a
while my dd was biting the skin on her lips, and having a tube of lip
balm handy all over helped that healing.

It seems as if a conversation about it, as in, "Hey, are your hands
dry? Mine are this time of year and I use blah blah..." would be
more appropriate than leaving it alone.

Peace~Jessica

Vida

On Mar 8, 2007, at 11:35 PM, C Johnson wrote:

> s she under any kind of stress that you know of? Because when I am
> upset, stressed, worried, etc... I notice I pick at my fingernails
> a lot.

Chrissie,

Thanks for your response. No, our lives are pretty stress-free *as
far as I can see*. Things may be happening in her life that she is
not aware of. DH is a fisherman, and his hands are full of dried and
torn skin. One day she started picking off the dead skin from his
hands and from then on she started on her own.

Vida

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandie T

--- In [email protected], Vida <vidamel@...> wrote:
>
> And right now my other dreamlet is picking the skin around her
> fingertips and nails. She's been doing that for a week now... all
> day practically during pauses in play, while watching a movie,
> talking now on the couch. It seems excessive and I don't know how
to
> approach it. Or should I just leave it alone and not say
anything?
> Her skin is already getting raw. It worries me because I can be
> obsessive with skin issues.... for instance it is nearly impossible
> for me not to squeeze a pore or zit or hair follicle stuck in my
> skin.....
>
> Any ideas?
>
> Vida

Hi Vida!

My dd (6.75) is also very fastidious about the skin around her
fingertips and nails, and so much so that she would chew the area and
it became infected, and rather painful, so she decided on her own she
wouldn't chew them anymore. She doesn't like scaling skin on her feet
either, and picks at it, too.

At one point, we were talking about why she wanted to chew on her skin
and pick at the loose skin, she said it was a "boredom buster"! So it
was something I needed to examine about how engaging and stimulating
and interesting things are for her around here and how I could make
things better, or more interesting. She is very creative and likes to
do a lot of hands on stuff, so making myself (and lots of supplies!)
available for different crafts and sewing and beading and experiments
in general has helped in that regard, the more tedious the project,
the better.

She still picks at any loose skin, she says she just doesn't like it!

I always enjoyed when I was a kid stuck in school (yep, I was bored)
putting glue on my hands and letting it dry and then peeling it off.
I still do it, on occasion! Not because I'm bored, but because it is
fun and I enjoy it :).

Just some idears to think about,

Sandie in WV (Mackenzie 6.75, Emma 4.75)

Vida

Hi Sandie,

This was great! Thanks for helping me see even more clearly that I
need to keep letting go of control while providing more interesting
opportunities for her to get her fingers in.

I must be doing something right... at least moving in the right
direction. Athena said to me yesterday, "See Mom.... we never get
mad at each other anymore." That brought tears to my eyes.

Vida

Kris

A small trick I use with myself when considering how to approach one of my
children is to think of how I would broach the subject with a friend.

My youngest tends to lick his lips when they are chapped, until all the skin
around his mouth is raw. He won't use lip balm or anything else.

I simply asked him if it was painful, he said it wasn't. I told him that my
concern was that it might get infected and that I thought drinking more
water would help. For several months he ignored my advice but then one day
he began drinking water saying he wanted it to clear up. It comes and goes
now but he takes care of it himself.

Perhaps you could just calmly ask her if her fingers are bothering her or if
they hurt. Say it like you would to an adult, ask her if she would like
lotion or ointment. If she were my child I would share my concern about
infection, especially on hands because they come into contact with so many
germs. Do your best to not get pushy, I know I tend to dig in my heels and
become illogical when I'm being pushed.

Kris

On 3/8/07, Vida <vidamel@...> wrote:
>
> And right now my other dreamlet is picking the skin around her
> fingertips and nails. She's been doing that for a week now... all
> day practically during pauses in play, while watching a movie,
> talking now on the couch. It seems excessive and I don't know how to
> approach it. Or should I just leave it alone and not say anything?
> Her skin is already getting raw. It worries me because I can be
> obsessive with skin issues.... for instance it is nearly impossible
> for me not to squeeze a pore or zit or hair follicle stuck in my
> skin.....
>
> Any ideas?
>
> Vida
>



The true measure of a person is how they treat those who can be of no use to
> them.
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]