mommyhey

(I also posted this message on AlwaysUnschooled so it may look familiary to those of you
who read both. )

Hi.

My husband and I have two boys ages 6.5 and 4.5. We live in Los Angeles. I have known
since our oldest was 1 that I wanted to try homeschooling. In putting homeschooling into
practice for our family, I have come to realize the beauty and merits of unschooling. I
believe in it whole-heartedly in theory. I'm having a little difficulty these days believing it
in practice! :-)

My basic challenges (and forgive me if this becomes long-winded): Finding a balance
between what they want and need and what I want and need. Unschooling appeals to me
in many ways, the biggest one being the freedom it offers. Our schedule is our own. The
world is our oyster. This (theoretically) offers the potential, time and freedom to find other
like-minded people and to create a community: attend various park days (there are many
to choose from in Los Angeles!), try classes, explore. I like meeting new people and I am
fed by being with people who ask some of the same questions I ask, think in a similar way,
challenge themselves in a similar way (who doesn't?). As a homeschooling parent, I seek
local community for support. I/we are in the minority having chosen this unschooling
lifestyle. And it helps me – especially when I'm doubting our choices, feeling lonely and
vulnerable because our "alternative lifestyle" – to know there are others out there seeking
the same things and often struggling with the same things. So, I would love to attend park
days regularly, meet more homeschooling families, find a community, create a broader
range of kids my children can play with, make friends that can be there when I have
questions, need to hash something out about homeschooling/unschooling.

My kids on the other hand like the friends they already have (most of their friends go to
school). They have no interest in meeting new people, no interest in park days or
homeschooling field trips and outings. They like being home for the most part and usually
"complain" when we have to go anywhere, even if it's just to the grocery store for milk. I
like being home, too. I can always find stuff to do here and we have a good time together.
But I need more, and they don't seem to.

There are countless opportunities in our general area: classes, outings, meetings, parties. I
usually chomp at the bit to attend. My kids put their foot/feet down and say, "No." Or,
they agree to try something but when the day comes, they change their minds and just
want to stay home. I have on occasion "dragged" them to events and sometimes they are
pleasantly surprised at how much fun they had, and other times they are bored or
uncomfortable and want to leave. They seem to remember the latter times more. And our
outings are so few and far between that the kids have yet to form bonds with other
homeschool kids. Our oldest attends a science class for homeschoolers once/week and he
likes it. But he doesn't seek out any of the kids outside of the class. Just today I asked if he
wanted to set up a play time with one of the boys he has had conversations with in class.
But my son just shrugged his shoulders and said, "I don't know" and walked away.

I'm frustrated. I read daily about our local homeschool groups and their park days and
ideas and plans, and I'm jealous, feel like I'm on the outside looking in at a world I'd love
to be a part of. I do have confidence that things will change over time and that we will find
a different groove, one in which we all are more content. They are young and we are still
finding our way being so new to homeschooling/unschooling. But until then, I'm at a loss.

I have tried speaking with the kids about my frustrations, explaining that I'd like to meet
more homeschoolers, find friends they like who can play during the day, that I'd like to try
more classes or outings. But the conversation doesn't go far as they like things the way
they are and they can't seem to vocalize whey they aren't interested in park days, etc.

I feel like I'm missing out on a richer experience that is waiting to be had. I feel there is
potential for a more satisfying community but that my kids are a barrier to me/us finding
that (to them it seems our life is rich enough just the way it is). I want to honor their needs
and desires. They are more "shy" or "hesitant" than I am and I can understand that park
days must seem overwhelming to them given they don't know anyone very well. But
regularly feel like it's me who is compromising instead of us finding a win/win for
everyone. We have a very rich home life. But some days it feels too solitary for my liking
and I want some outside stimulation, want to hang with homeschooling/unschooling
families and not strictly school families.

My apologies for the length of this email. I look forward to hearing any ideas (or even just
empathy :-) anyone has. And thank you in advance!!

Martha

Sandra Dodd

-=-So, I would love to attend park
days regularly, meet more homeschooling families, find a community,
create a broader
range of kids my children can play with, make friends that can be
there when I have
questions, need to hash something out about homeschooling/
unschooling.-=-

You can use these lists to hash ideas out.

If your kids don't WANT to go play and meet people, why would you
make them do it?

The most important tool you can have is to be your child's partner.
It's worth ten playgroups or other families.

http://sandradodd.com/nest
http://sandradodd.com/partners

-=-My kids on the other hand-=-

Don't have your kids on the other hand. Be together with them.

-=-They like being home for the most part and usually
"complain" when we have to go anywhere-=-

"Complain"? You chose to put those quotation marks there for some
reason. You don't think they're really complaining? It's so-called
complaining?

They're communicating needs and preferences and you're giving them
quotation marks?


-=-But I need more, and they don't seem to.
-=-There are countless opportunities in our general area-=-

There's one opportunity. Don't blow it.
You have ONE chance to be with your kids, really WITH them, where
they are, emotionally and interest-wise, today.
There are not countless opportunities for you to develop a good
relationship with your children.

-=-I'm frustrated. I read daily about our local homeschool groups and
their park days and
ideas and plans, and I'm jealous, feel like I'm on the outside
looking in at a world I'd love
to be a part of. -=-

You're on the inside, with your kids, with your back turned to them,
looking out at the world.

-=-I have tried speaking with the kids about my frustrations,
explaining that I'd like to meet
more homeschoolers, find friends they like who can play during the
day, that I'd like to try
more classes or outings-=-

I'm sure they know. You told us more than once, so you've probably
told them LOADS of times.
Wait and see if things change, but don't wait in a whiney, impatient
way. DO things, fun things, at home with your kids.

-=-I feel there is potential for a more satisfying community but that
my kids are a barrier to me/us finding
that-=-

EEKE!

Your kids are a barrier to your unschooling?

-=-We have a very rich home life. But some days it feels too solitary
for my liking
and I want some outside stimulation-=-

Invite people over. Invite younger single people over. It doesn't
have to be another mom with kids whose kids match yours.
Mix it up at your house instead of trying to "drag" your kids
outside. That's a drag.

-=-My apologies for the length of this email. I look forward to
hearing any ideas (or even just
empathy :-)-=-

If people are going to help you unschooling, the empathy will be for
your kids who seem to be expressing clearly that they're happier at
home. Can your husband do things with them sometimes so you can get
out and do something completely unrelated to what they're doing?

They won't always be the age they are now. 1) don't miss it, and 2)
don't think this day or this month will continue for years. Even
this YEAR won't continue for years.

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Angela S.

Martha,

I understand your challenge as I've been there myself. It's hard when you
are wanting to be more social than your children want to be.

What worked for me was for me was changing my focus from what I was missing
to really being with my children and focusing on what they need now. It
makes me happy to have happy kids. It also helps me to remember that I chose
to have these wonderful children and that I knew that my own needs would
have to take a back seat for a while. I cannot believe that my children are
already 10 and almost 12. The years have flown by and although I've missed
many park days I don't regret it one bit because I spent those years
focusing on their needs and they are whole and happy and wonderful to be
around.

Changing my focus helped me but so did finding other ways to socialize.
Email lists were very helpful in those early days of unschooling when I
needed the support of other parents who were going through similar things.
So was talking on the phone and visiting my extended family, which the kids
usually liked to do.

My girls are not quite the home bodies that they once were now that they are
a little older. They still love being at home but they also like getting
out of the house and visiting with their friends (all of whom are schooled
children at this point.) and our extended family. Sometimes for me it's
nice just to get out and about if I am feeling stir crazy. We like to go
geocaching at times or just get outside and play in the snow or go for a
walk.

My social engagements didn't quite meet the vision I once had in my head of
a great group of intelligent women who could get together and talk and
support each other while the kids happily played without a lot of
intervention but my kids are happy, my social needs are fulfilled enough to
keep me satisfied, and we continue to meet new people and take advantage of
the opportunities that present themselves to us by inviting families over
when the kids do seem to hit it off.


Angela S.
HYPERLINK "mailto:game-enthusiast@..."game-enthusiast@...
Life Is Good!





--
No virus found in this outgoing message.
Checked by AVG Free Edition.
Version: 7.1.409 / Virus Database: 268.13.32/523 - Release Date: 11/7/2006



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kathleen Whitfield

There are a bunch of things that I like to do that I do less of now that I
have children. And a bunch of fun things that I do know that I never did
until I had children. For me, what helped me be happier is focusing on the
kids -- and pointedly avoiding people/other influences who told me I needed
more "me time" or implied there was something wrong with focusing on the
children. Also, thinking about things I'm lacking at this time gets me in a
funk; focusing on what I have brings peace.

I would suggest bringing the family needs closer together.

a) inviting one family or one individual over at a time -- and not
necessarily a "matching" family -- someone who *you* want to talk with more.
b) not discussing it too much with the boys but also not expecting them to
be "on" in any way.
c) sign off from some of the local email lists that are dangling all these
options in front of you!

I also could see your boys enjoying having an older boy come over --
providing the older boy wanted to. My oldest always really liked playing
with your kids. I have some specific ideas for families I think your guys
would really like with some casual exposure! I'll email you privately.

Kathleen

P.S. Until a few months ago, I lived directly across the street from Martha!












on 11/7/06 1:44 PM, mommyhey at mh9@... wrote:

(I also posted this message on AlwaysUnschooled so it may look familiary to
those of you
who read both. )

Hi.

My husband and I have two boys ages 6.5 and 4.5. We live in Los Angeles. I
have known
since our oldest was 1 that I wanted to try homeschooling. In putting
homeschooling into
practice for our family, I have come to realize the beauty and merits of
unschooling. I
believe in it whole-heartedly in theory. I'm having a little difficulty
these days believing it
in practice! :-)

My basic challenges (and forgive me if this becomes long-winded): Finding a
balance
between what they want and need and what I want and need. Unschooling
appeals to me
in many ways, the biggest one being the freedom it offers. Our schedule is
our own. The
world is our oyster. This (theoretically) offers the potential, time and
freedom to find other
like-minded people and to create a community: attend various park days
(there are many
to choose from in Los Angeles!), try classes, explore. I like meeting new
people and I am
fed by being with people who ask some of the same questions I ask, think in
a similar way,
challenge themselves in a similar way (who doesn't?). As a homeschooling
parent, I seek
local community for support. I/we are in the minority having chosen this
unschooling
lifestyle. And it helps me – especially when I'm doubting our choices,
feeling lonely and
vulnerable because our "alternative lifestyle" – to know there are others
out there seeking
the same things and often struggling with the same things. So, I would love
to attend park
days regularly, meet more homeschooling families, find a community, create a
broader
range of kids my children can play with, make friends that can be there when
I have
questions, need to hash something out about homeschooling/unschooling.

My kids on the other hand like the friends they already have (most of their
friends go to
school). They have no interest in meeting new people, no interest in park
days or
homeschooling field trips and outings. They like being home for the most
part and usually
"complain" when we have to go anywhere, even if it's just to the grocery
store for milk. I
like being home, too. I can always find stuff to do here and we have a good
time together.
But I need more, and they don't seem to.

There are countless opportunities in our general area: classes, outings,
meetings, parties. I
usually chomp at the bit to attend. My kids put their foot/feet down and
say, "No." Or,
they agree to try something but when the day comes, they change their minds
and just
want to stay home. I have on occasion "dragged" them to events and sometimes
they are
pleasantly surprised at how much fun they had, and other times they are
bored or
uncomfortable and want to leave. They seem to remember the latter times
more. And our
outings are so few and far between that the kids have yet to form bonds with
other
homeschool kids. Our oldest attends a science class for homeschoolers
once/week and he
likes it. But he doesn't seek out any of the kids outside of the class. Just
today I asked if he
wanted to set up a play time with one of the boys he has had conversations
with in class.
But my son just shrugged his shoulders and said, "I don't know" and walked
away.

I'm frustrated. I read daily about our local homeschool groups and their
park days and
ideas and plans, and I'm jealous, feel like I'm on the outside looking in at
a world I'd love
to be a part of. I do have confidence that things will change over time and
that we will find
a different groove, one in which we all are more content. They are young and
we are still
finding our way being so new to homeschooling/unschooling. But until then,
I'm at a loss.

I have tried speaking with the kids about my frustrations, explaining that
I'd like to meet
more homeschoolers, find friends they like who can play during the day, that
I'd like to try
more classes or outings. But the conversation doesn't go far as they like
things the way
they are and they can't seem to vocalize whey they aren't interested in park
days, etc.

I feel like I'm missing out on a richer experience that is waiting to be
had. I feel there is
potential for a more satisfying community but that my kids are a barrier to
me/us finding
that (to them it seems our life is rich enough just the way it is). I want
to honor their needs
and desires. They are more "shy" or "hesitant" than I am and I can
understand that park
days must seem overwhelming to them given they don't know anyone very well.
But
regularly feel like it's me who is compromising instead of us finding a
win/win for
everyone. We have a very rich home life. But some days it feels too solitary
for my liking
and I want some outside stimulation, want to hang with
homeschooling/unschooling
families and not strictly school families.

My apologies for the length of this email. I look forward to hearing any
ideas (or even just
empathy :-) anyone has. And thank you in advance!!

Martha






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Schuyler

I have had days when I've been so geared up to go somewhere that I crash down in disappointment when for whatever reason we don't go. With time and experience I've found that when I am hoping to include both Simon and Linnaea and David in an outing I need to have back up activities to turn to if they don't want to stop what they are doing and go. Things like knitting or writing or playing a game. I've also found that Simon, who is the person most likely to not want to go somewhere, is much happier going places when he knows he has the freedom to not go.

Both Simon and Linnaea (to a lesser extent) hate being in groups of new people. It is very intimidating to be the new person in a group made up of already established friendships. It is much better for us if I can arrange one on one get togethers with new people. It means that when they do go into a larger group they will have people they already know there. Its kind of like going to a party made up entirely of people only your husband knows, and he doesn't know them very well. So you have to work to make conversation and it is stressful and you are so tired (or I am so tired--I understand some people thrive off of those sorts of social interactions) when you get home that it was like running a social marathon of sorts. Maybe that is how your two boys feel?

Really what a wonderful thing that your two boys are happy in their lives the way they are. Sometimes I get worried that Simon and Linnaea aren't spending enough time with other people, and since we've just moved it takes a bit more effort to meet up with people. If I watch them laughing and playing and building paper airplanes and telling each other stories and cuddling with me, it seems so false to argue that they need anything other than what they want.


Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

mommyhey

Thanks for all of the responses. I do feel like I was ranting a bit in my post yesterday. I
could have been a bit more succinct. My issue could have been summed up in one
sentence: how do I reconcile my needs and desires with theirs? (I know this question has
been asked before!)

I appreciate the various ideas and suggestions offered, and the sharing of what has
worked for your kids and families.

Thanks.
Martha




--- In [email protected], "Schuyler" <s.waynforth@...> wrote:
>
> I have had days when I've been so geared up to go somewhere that I crash down in
disappointment when for whatever reason we don't go. With time and experience I've
found that when I am hoping to include both Simon and Linnaea and David in an outing I
need to have back up activities to turn to if they don't want to stop what they are doing
and go. Things like knitting or writing or playing a game. I've also found that Simon, who
is the person most likely to not want to go somewhere, is much happier going places when
he knows he has the freedom to not go.
>
> Both Simon and Linnaea (to a lesser extent) hate being in groups of new people. It is
very intimidating to be the new person in a group made up of already established
friendships. It is much better for us if I can arrange one on one get togethers with new
people. It means that when they do go into a larger group they will have people they
already know there. Its kind of like going to a party made up entirely of people only your
husband knows, and he doesn't know them very well. So you have to work to make
conversation and it is stressful and you are so tired (or I am so tired--I understand some
people thrive off of those sorts of social interactions) when you get home that it was like
running a social marathon of sorts. Maybe that is how your two boys feel?
>
> Really what a wonderful thing that your two boys are happy in their lives the way they
are. Sometimes I get worried that Simon and Linnaea aren't spending enough time with
other people, and since we've just moved it takes a bit more effort to meet up with people.
If I watch them laughing and playing and building paper airplanes and telling each other
stories and cuddling with me, it seems so false to argue that they need anything other
than what they want.
>
>
> Schuyler
> www.waynforth.blogspot.com
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Jane S.

Hello Martha -
I see some on my own experience in your post so I'd like to
respond...
I'm Jane Sutcliffe - 3 kids; 12yo dd; 10yo ds; 8yo ds.... We've
never 'schooled'.... I've been on and off this list over the last
several years....

I'm pulling the following from your email:
Martha wrote: "So, I would love to attend park days regularly, meet
more homeschooling families, find a community, create a broader
range of kids my children can play with, make friends that can be
there when I have questions, need to hash something out about
homeschooling/unschooling."

It's my guess that you are lonely and would like more contact with
like-minded adults for ideas and support. It's my guess that THAT
is a very REAL feeling for many people. I know that I have had lots
of experience with that. How can you take care of your needs?
Where is your husband in this?

There's a pretty picture of you and your kids going to sunny parkday
events and having a joyous time... you ain't got that... and you
don't get to decide for your kids what they want/need....

So, take care of YOU... "Believing is Seeing"... So, believe you can
get your needs met and opportunities for you to make that happen
will arise...

If YOU want to go to park day, then make arrangements for your kids
at home so YOU can go... IF YOU want community, then create it...

I belive that taking care of ourselves and the process of finding
creative ways to do so are TREMENDOUS gifts and lessons to our
children....

The martyr of "Okay, you don't want to go so we won't go" or "I
REALLY want to go but I can't because you won't agree to it", imo,
creates a victim attitude - a really really poor modelling, imo...

Aside from that, be careful of what you ask for... do some searching
and be clear....

Is there some 'picture' you're trying to create of the homeschooling
family you envisioned?
or is there a need you have for connection and support?

In the family, YOU count, too....
Imo, it's easier to say either "it's MY way" OR "fine, it's your
way"....
The greater difficulty, and imo, the greater gain/gift is in "hmm,
you have your idea and I have my idea... how can we work it out?"

AND then another aside....
My 10yo son likes to stay home... has always preferred that....
What I learned from him...

Why do I feel I need to leave the house to do something or be
happy? He is happy every day staying at home. Why aren't I? I had
a beautiful home, beautiful yard, lots of nice things....what was my
problem? What would happen if I copied his simple happiness and
stayed home for a week? What could I accomplish? What could I
learn from that? Well, I learned a LOT from that and that's another
story... : )

That reminds me of an experiment I did several times about 5 years
ago, I did a week of not going anywhere (other than taking my kids
to whatever classes they had), not answering the phone (I did listen
to messages and briefly return 'important calls'), not looking at
email, and not speaking to my kids until spoken to or only
if 'necessary'... (I did arrange a playdate for my daughter mid-
week because that was her preference).... The last 'rule' was in
response to my inclination to have my interactions be "Look at the
bird!" "Lunch is ready." etc... I wanted to stop interrupting their
own play, thoughts, etc... Although I wanted to slow down my/our
lives, it was not my intent to create stress for them, when I had
arranged for them to be with friends for one afternoon so I could go
for a meditative hike and the youngest insisted on going with me, I
took him along with me... The kids could call people and I did not
hold strictly to the 'rules'... I gave myself permission to do the
experiment imperfectly... : )

It was a good week from which I learned a lot... the house was
quieter and more peaceful.... I found myself thinking, "I don't have
anything to do in this house except clean, cook and check emails! I
need a hobby! I need a life!"

It also led me to look at the unhappiness in my life... and I've
since made lifestyle changes... In that week, I had time to be
quiet and slow.... I think I've done it 3 times....

My son is reading this now and suggests I do it again... : )
Perhaps I will...

So, Martha, these are my ramblings in response to your post...

If anything I've written speaks to you or is helpful, I'd enjoy
hearing about it... If not, this is just an exercise for me to
remind myself to take care of myself...

Best wishes...
Jane
P.S. One more thing... I've always had a FABULOUS community of like-
minded adults locally.... I am TREMENDOUSLY lucky with the
unschooling/homeschooling community here and a community center
we've created... NONETHELESS, I needed time away from them to
address my own loneliness.... being with them kept me busy and gave
me a fix to 'get by'... taking the time-out from them allowed me to
look at my life singularly as opposed to going through the motions
of activities, conversations, etc.... just another 2 cents....
Good luck!

Sandra Dodd

-=-how do I reconcile my needs and desires with theirs?-=-

You be a good mom, and you might find that's what you really needed.

You desire to be partners with your children and you'll find
something you never imagined could have been.

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Nancy Machaj

http://tinyurl.com/yzfh7m
0r
http://home.earthlink.net/~fetteroll/rejoycing/changing%20parenting/
mindfulparentingzinn.html

This link goes to Joyce Fetterolls site, directly to a page which
contains 12 exercises for mindful parenting , written by Myla and Jon
Kabat-Zinn.

I think the answers to your problem of finding balance may be found
there. Especially 1-6 and 12 :)

Best,
Nancy


*****
blogging at:
http://happychildhood.homeschooljournal.net
http://del.icio.us/nankilicious



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

diana

--- In [email protected], "mommyhey" <mh9@...> wrote:
>
> Thanks for all of the responses. I do feel like I was ranting a bit in
my post yesterday. I
> could have been a bit more succinct. My issue could have been summed
up in one
> sentence: how do I reconcile my needs and desires with theirs? (I know
this question has
> been asked before!)
>
> I appreciate the various ideas and suggestions offered, and the
sharing of what has
> worked for your kids and families.
>
> Thanks.
> Martha
>
>
>
>
> --- In [email protected], "Schuyler" s.waynforth@ wrote:
> >
> > I have had days when I've been so geared up to go somewhere that I
crash down in
> disappointment when for whatever reason we don't go. With time and
experience I've
> found that when I am hoping to include both Simon and Linnaea and
David in an outing I
> need to have back up activities to turn to if they don't want to stop
what they are doing
> and go. Things like knitting or writing or playing a game. I've also
found that Simon, who
> is the person most likely to not want to go somewhere, is much happier
going places when
> he knows he has the freedom to not go.
> >
> > Both Simon and Linnaea (to a lesser extent) hate being in groups of
new people. It is
> very intimidating to be the new person in a group made up of already
established
> friendships. It is much better for us if I can arrange one on one get
togethers with new
> people. It means that when they do go into a larger group they will
have people they
> already know there. Its kind of like going to a party made up entirely
of people only your
> husband knows, and he doesn't know them very well. So you have to work
to make
> conversation and it is stressful and you are so tired (or I am so
tired--I understand some
> people thrive off of those sorts of social interactions) when you get
home that it was like
> running a social marathon of sorts. Maybe that is how your two boys
feel?
> >
> > Really what a wonderful thing that your two boys are happy in their
lives the way they
> are. Sometimes I get worried that Simon and Linnaea aren't spending
enough time with
> other people, and since we've just moved it takes a bit more effort to
meet up with people.
> If I watch them laughing and playing and building paper airplanes and
telling each other
> stories and cuddling with me, it seems so false to argue that they
need anything other
> than what they want.
> >
> >
> > Schuyler
> > www.waynforth.blogspot.com
> >
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
>

diana

--- In [email protected], "diana" <hahamommy@...> wrote:
>
>
> --- In [email protected], "mommyhey" mh9@ wrote:
> >
> > Thanks for all of the responses. I do feel like I was ranting a bit
in
> my post yesterday. I
> > could have been a bit more succinct. My issue could have been summed
> up in one
> > sentence: how do I reconcile my needs and desires with theirs? (I
know
> this question has
> > been asked before!)
> >
> > I appreciate the various ideas and suggestions offered, and the
> sharing of what has
> > worked for your kids and families.
> >
> > Thanks.
> > Martha
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > --- In [email protected], "Schuyler" s.waynforth@
wrote:
> > >
> > > I have had days when I've been so geared up to go somewhere that I
> crash down in
> > disappointment when for whatever reason we don't go. With time and
> experience I've
> > found that when I am hoping to include both Simon and Linnaea and
> David in an outing I
> > need to have back up activities to turn to if they don't want to
stop
> what they are doing
> > and go. Things like knitting or writing or playing a game. I've also
> found that Simon, who
> > is the person most likely to not want to go somewhere, is much
happier
> going places when
> > he knows he has the freedom to not go.
> > >
> > > Both Simon and Linnaea (to a lesser extent) hate being in groups
of
> new people. It is
> > very intimidating to be the new person in a group made up of already
> established
> > friendships. It is much better for us if I can arrange one on one
get
> togethers with new
> > people. It means that when they do go into a larger group they will
> have people they
> > already know there. Its kind of like going to a party made up
entirely
> of people only your
> > husband knows, and he doesn't know them very well. So you have to
work
> to make
> > conversation and it is stressful and you are so tired (or I am so
> tired--I understand some
> > people thrive off of those sorts of social interactions) when you
get
> home that it was like
> > running a social marathon of sorts. Maybe that is how your two boys
> feel?
> > >
> > > Really what a wonderful thing that your two boys are happy in
their
> lives the way they
> > are. Sometimes I get worried that Simon and Linnaea aren't spending
> enough time with
> > other people, and since we've just moved it takes a bit more effort
to
> meet up with people.
> > If I watch them laughing and playing and building paper airplanes
and
> telling each other
> > stories and cuddling with me, it seems so false to argue that they
> need anything other
> > than what they want.
> > >
> > >
> > > Schuyler
> > > www.waynforth.blogspot.com
> > >
> > >
> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> > >
> >
>