Wildflower

I am still new to the yahoo group thing, so I am posting this on
several sites, sorry for the inbox filler if you belong to all of
them like I do! I had a website maintained for a log time and it
crashed, but the group thing is fairly new and I'm not sure of the
multi group netiquette.

I would like share something that might be interesting or maybe
helpful to some of you.

I was pulled from public school when I was 12, my parents unschooled
me my whole life, but didn't "pull me" until we moved.

I have been reading some of your post on punishments and thought it
might be interesting to know that my parent never spanked me,
grounded me, or anything else that might be considered punishment.
If it matters,I am one of 11 children.

Anyway, I was taught through example and discussion to talk to my
brothers when I was mad at them. My parents would help me define my
emotions, using terms like, "I think" or "I feel" at the right time.
Instead of saying "I feel like he's being mean." I would be asked
if "I felt mad and thought he was being mean" was more what I was
trying to say. They were real big on helping me find the real issue.
It was fine if I wanted to smack my brother in the head, but I
learned to tell him instead of do it most times.

The funny part is, that when all else failed, and because of
violence or failed discussion, my parents were brought in, we
thought that was punishment! We all agreed on one thing, that it was
easier to work it out somehow, even if it meant a difficult
compromise. Not because my parent would be angry or anything, it was
just that they had us work it out with so much talking and listening
to each other. We were even taught the old, "hit the pillow instead
of the person". I still use that when I release the urge for
physical anger.

I don't know if I think that is good or bad, I still use all of it
in my own way with my children. But I didn't know I was an
unschooler until my oldest was in 2nd grade, I just thought I was a
bad homeschooler! :)

peace,
Wildflower

Amelia

i would just like to say thanks for posting this. As this is what i
am trying to acheive with my children. Its great to hear from someone
who was brought up this way that you still use the tecniques. It
fills me with new enthusiasm. thank you

Amelia ( mum to Hamish and Finley born 15/02/2004 9 weeks early, id
twins)

--- In [email protected], "Wildflower"
<unschoolfool@...> wrote:
>
> I am still new to the yahoo group thing, so I am posting this on
> several sites, sorry for the inbox filler if you belong to all of
> them like I do! I had a website maintained for a log time and it
> crashed, but the group thing is fairly new and I'm not sure of the
> multi group netiquette.
>
> I would like share something that might be interesting or maybe
> helpful to some of you.
>
> I was pulled from public school when I was 12, my parents
unschooled
> me my whole life, but didn't "pull me" until we moved.
>
> I have been reading some of your post on punishments and thought it
> might be interesting to know that my parent never spanked me,
> grounded me, or anything else that might be considered punishment.
> If it matters,I am one of 11 children.
>
> Anyway, I was taught through example and discussion to talk to my
> brothers when I was mad at them. My parents would help me define my
> emotions, using terms like, "I think" or "I feel" at the right
time.
> Instead of saying "I feel like he's being mean." I would be asked
> if "I felt mad and thought he was being mean" was more what I was
> trying to say. They were real big on helping me find the real
issue.
> It was fine if I wanted to smack my brother in the head, but I
> learned to tell him instead of do it most times.
>
> The funny part is, that when all else failed, and because of
> violence or failed discussion, my parents were brought in, we
> thought that was punishment! We all agreed on one thing, that it
was
> easier to work it out somehow, even if it meant a difficult
> compromise. Not because my parent would be angry or anything, it
was
> just that they had us work it out with so much talking and
listening
> to each other. We were even taught the old, "hit the pillow instead
> of the person". I still use that when I release the urge for
> physical anger.
>
> I don't know if I think that is good or bad, I still use all of it
> in my own way with my children. But I didn't know I was an
> unschooler until my oldest was in 2nd grade, I just thought I was a
> bad homeschooler! :)
>
> peace,
> Wildflower
>