lauermjkd1

Thank you everyone for your advice.
Sandra, I found yours most helpful. I do not want to impose my will
on my daughter - I think if nothing else that will undermine her self-
confidence. I want her to know that I support - and will continue to
support - her decisions. I also think I do need to remove myself
somewhat from the school stresses. I'm sure my actions at times have
only served to emphasize that there is homework to do, when what I
really want is to provide her with the fun, peaceful home life that
she needs and we all want. I'm too quick to give her "advice," when
what I really need to be doing is giving her hugs, rubbing her back,
helping her to relax, etc.
The issue really isn't the work - she has no problem with the work
being too difficult. The anxiety/stress comes from having to do more
work when she's spent a lot of her free time in school already and
just wants to do her own thing. She also has a strong need to please
everyone else, i.e. teachers.
I need to let her own her decision completely and the best way to do
that is by my not investing myself in her school work. It's her
decision to go to school, it's hers whether to do the homework, hers
whether to stay in school. I love her and respect her no matter what
those decisions mightultimately be.
So, I'm stepping back, letting her own her decision and making sure
I'm not contributing to the problem. Instead, I will just love her,
make it clear that choosing to do something else is always an option,
and be proud of the wonderful person she is.

Thank you so much,
Karen