is this worth linking to the anti-spanking page?
[email protected]
Is this worth linking to the anti-spanking page?
http://www.parentsanonymous.org/pahtml/toolBox.html
I don't like the time out recommendation.
But a friend of mine with two teen kids sent it. She reads my website all
the time.
I can't paste it in because it has so much formatting, but if any of you have
a minute to look, I'd appreciate a review.
Should I link it with anti-spanking stuff on the page I'm working on?
http://sandradodd.com/spanking
Partly it seems too obvious to me, but then my kids are bigger and I had the
early La Leche League advantage.
Sandra
http://www.parentsanonymous.org/pahtml/toolBox.html
I don't like the time out recommendation.
But a friend of mine with two teen kids sent it. She reads my website all
the time.
I can't paste it in because it has so much formatting, but if any of you have
a minute to look, I'd appreciate a review.
Should I link it with anti-spanking stuff on the page I'm working on?
http://sandradodd.com/spanking
Partly it seems too obvious to me, but then my kids are bigger and I had the
early La Leche League advantage.
Sandra
marji
I don't know. Some of it is kind of manipulative, like challenging for
instance, and some things are missing, like providing a model of
behavior. The basic premise of the page has an 'us against them' feel that
I find irritating and disrespectful. Like, use these tools 'cause they
work against misbehavior. The website doesn't really do much in the way of
elevating a child's status. And, that time-out thing. Yuck!
If you feel like it would be good to include, how about a wee like
something (a sort of disclaimer?) pointing out the good stuff on the site
and why the yucky stuff is a yucky?
I'd be interested to see others' thoughts on this.
Marji
At 14:43 4/29/03 -0400, you wrote:
instance, and some things are missing, like providing a model of
behavior. The basic premise of the page has an 'us against them' feel that
I find irritating and disrespectful. Like, use these tools 'cause they
work against misbehavior. The website doesn't really do much in the way of
elevating a child's status. And, that time-out thing. Yuck!
If you feel like it would be good to include, how about a wee like
something (a sort of disclaimer?) pointing out the good stuff on the site
and why the yucky stuff is a yucky?
I'd be interested to see others' thoughts on this.
Marji
At 14:43 4/29/03 -0400, you wrote:
>Is this worth linking to the anti-spanking page?[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>http://www.parentsanonymous.org/pahtml/toolBox.html
>
>I don't like the time out recommendation.
>
>But a friend of mine with two teen kids sent it. She reads my website all
>the time.
>
>I can't paste it in because it has so much formatting, but if any of you have
>a minute to look, I'd appreciate a review.
>
>Should I link it with anti-spanking stuff on the page I'm working on?
>
>http://sandradodd.com/spanking
>
>Partly it seems too obvious to me, but then my kids are bigger and I had the
>early La Leche League advantage.
>
>Sandra
>
>
>To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>[email protected]
>
>
>
>Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
Rebecca DeLong
I agree with Marji. I didn't like the link, it felt wrong, if that makes sense. I have young kids, and I'll admit that I have, in the past, tried some of the suggestions, they don't really work, not in the long term. Kids aren't dumb, they know your tricking them into something- her cleaning suggestion- I don't know if I'd use it, if you do, I think the disclaimer idea is a good one. Rebecca
marji <marji@...> wrote:I don't know. Some of it is kind of manipulative, like challenging for
instance, and some things are missing, like providing a model of
behavior. The basic premise of the page has an 'us against them' feel that
I find irritating and disrespectful. Like, use these tools 'cause they
work against misbehavior. The website doesn't really do much in the way of
elevating a child's status. And, that time-out thing. Yuck!
At 14:43 4/29/03 -0400, you wrote:
marji <marji@...> wrote:I don't know. Some of it is kind of manipulative, like challenging for
instance, and some things are missing, like providing a model of
behavior. The basic premise of the page has an 'us against them' feel that
I find irritating and disrespectful. Like, use these tools 'cause they
work against misbehavior. The website doesn't really do much in the way of
elevating a child's status. And, that time-out thing. Yuck!
At 14:43 4/29/03 -0400, you wrote:
>Is this worth linking to the anti-spanking page?[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>http://www.parentsanonymous.org/pahtml/toolBox.html
Rebecca DeLong
I agree with Marji. I didn't like the link, it felt wrong, if that makes sense. I have young kids, and I'll admit that I have, in the past, tried some of the suggestions, they don't really work, not in the long term. Kids aren't dumb, they know your tricking them into something- her cleaning suggestion- I don't know if I'd use it, if you do, I think the disclaimer idea is a good one. Rebecca
marji <marji@...> wrote:I don't know. Some of it is kind of manipulative, like challenging for
instance, and some things are missing, like providing a model of
behavior. The basic premise of the page has an 'us against them' feel that
I find irritating and disrespectful. Like, use these tools 'cause they
work against misbehavior. The website doesn't really do much in the way of
elevating a child's status. And, that time-out thing. Yuck!
At 14:43 4/29/03 -0400, you wrote:
marji <marji@...> wrote:I don't know. Some of it is kind of manipulative, like challenging for
instance, and some things are missing, like providing a model of
behavior. The basic premise of the page has an 'us against them' feel that
I find irritating and disrespectful. Like, use these tools 'cause they
work against misbehavior. The website doesn't really do much in the way of
elevating a child's status. And, that time-out thing. Yuck!
At 14:43 4/29/03 -0400, you wrote:
>Is this worth linking to the anti-spanking page?[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>http://www.parentsanonymous.org/pahtml/toolBox.html
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/29/03 5:31:53 PM, KathrynJB@... writes:
<< The question is, are you likely to get people who are at risk of battering
their children looking for links. Probably not if they're coming from an
Unschooling page... >>
No, you're right.
And the other point about it being still quite "us vs. them" is true too.
The mom who sent it was having a horrible time when she had two toddlers and
she called me in desperation one day. She was from Albuquerque but had moved
to El Paso. With her last bit of sanity, she called and asked me to find her
some HELP, counselling, intervention, something because she was feeling big
violence. I only had Kirby then. We had known each other for ten years at
that point, through the SCA and mutual friends.
I started calling around El Paso to find her a suicide hotline.
None.
Parenting group?
No.
County health with counseling?
Apparently none for parenting issues.
I ended up talking to someone in San Antonio and someone in Austin and
getting REALLY frustrated. Every twenty minutes or half an hour, I'd call
her back and say "Still trying."
I've never felt the same way about El Paso since.
I knew there was the midwifery school there, but they knew nothing about
issues with older kids (whoever I talked to didn't anyway).
This was pre worldwide web.
The best I came up with was a contact from Parents Anonymous from Arizona or
some where who could send her information. So I got the national Parents
Anonymous people who said they had ONE single correspondent there (like a
national member who had no local group) and they would put him in contact
with my friend. So the two of them started a chapter.
She had to start her own club to get help.
So did I, with Ceasarean Prevention. They found me the one person in town
who was involved but hadn't started a local group yet. Same deal. Sad.
The friend moved to Tucson and has always worked full time, since she got out
of high school. Pretty much wouldn't consider otherwise, and as she is on
her fourth very irresponsible male partner in that time (I've known them
all), she NEEDS to work. Seriously.
So for her, this was huge progress, and because she reads my websites
(ALWAYS) and tells me when a link doesn't work or whatever, I wanted to
consider using her contribution...
Maybe I could flag it as "for beginners."
Maybe.
Sometimes I think the advice we give newcomers is too high-level or esoteric
for them. If a person is still doing a bunch of spanking/grounding/loss of
privelege or allowance, to say "Just be with your child and respect his
needs" will sound like "poo peedity tiled on perect pooteeds" or maybe "WHAT,
I'll be in time out too? I'll spank myself too?"
Sandra
<< The question is, are you likely to get people who are at risk of battering
their children looking for links. Probably not if they're coming from an
Unschooling page... >>
No, you're right.
And the other point about it being still quite "us vs. them" is true too.
The mom who sent it was having a horrible time when she had two toddlers and
she called me in desperation one day. She was from Albuquerque but had moved
to El Paso. With her last bit of sanity, she called and asked me to find her
some HELP, counselling, intervention, something because she was feeling big
violence. I only had Kirby then. We had known each other for ten years at
that point, through the SCA and mutual friends.
I started calling around El Paso to find her a suicide hotline.
None.
Parenting group?
No.
County health with counseling?
Apparently none for parenting issues.
I ended up talking to someone in San Antonio and someone in Austin and
getting REALLY frustrated. Every twenty minutes or half an hour, I'd call
her back and say "Still trying."
I've never felt the same way about El Paso since.
I knew there was the midwifery school there, but they knew nothing about
issues with older kids (whoever I talked to didn't anyway).
This was pre worldwide web.
The best I came up with was a contact from Parents Anonymous from Arizona or
some where who could send her information. So I got the national Parents
Anonymous people who said they had ONE single correspondent there (like a
national member who had no local group) and they would put him in contact
with my friend. So the two of them started a chapter.
She had to start her own club to get help.
So did I, with Ceasarean Prevention. They found me the one person in town
who was involved but hadn't started a local group yet. Same deal. Sad.
The friend moved to Tucson and has always worked full time, since she got out
of high school. Pretty much wouldn't consider otherwise, and as she is on
her fourth very irresponsible male partner in that time (I've known them
all), she NEEDS to work. Seriously.
So for her, this was huge progress, and because she reads my websites
(ALWAYS) and tells me when a link doesn't work or whatever, I wanted to
consider using her contribution...
Maybe I could flag it as "for beginners."
Maybe.
Sometimes I think the advice we give newcomers is too high-level or esoteric
for them. If a person is still doing a bunch of spanking/grounding/loss of
privelege or allowance, to say "Just be with your child and respect his
needs" will sound like "poo peedity tiled on perect pooteeds" or maybe "WHAT,
I'll be in time out too? I'll spank myself too?"
Sandra