food issues
Katrina Gutleben
Dh and I have food issues from different ends of the spectrum (although he
would deny having issues at all). I would like to allow my children to grow
up issue free but that doesn't sem to be happening.
I don't remember my parents being hugely restrictive about my food choices.
But I was the youngest of 7 and a lot of things were decided based entirely
on funds. We didn't really have sweets around the house much mostly just on
special occasions. Most of my childhood I remember my mom being sort of the
health food nut and my dad the white bread eater. :) He would buy chips
ahoy cookies and hide them they were HIS and no one else was allowed them.
That said my mom had a particular weakness for chocolate covered almonds.
We ate veggies and weren't forced to or harrassed about it. Fruit was a
good treat. We all had our 'favorite' foods and foods we hated and everyone
seemed pretty understanding about it all. My parents weren't big on the
clean plate club thing (either that or it never affected me because I was a
'good eater')
This has lead to me now. I eat basically whatever. I have very few things
I really don't like (basically just spicy things). I love veggies but don't
make a lot myself because I hate the prep involved. I love meat, bread,
pasta basically I just love food. And I really like 'good food' as in a
well planned meal in a nice restaurant. I love the way food tastes. And I
get a lot of emotional satisfaction from eating. I do love sweets.
Although I am finding that as an adult with no one hiding the cookies away
I'm finding myself a little more discriminating in the sweet department. I
don't like hard candies or other sweets without fat. :) I like cheese cake
and apple pie. Gotta have a little bit of the salty in there. It's comfort
food. The downside to all of this is I weigh 240 lbs (I'm only 5'1" so that
is a LOT).
DH looks at his childhood and discounts anything people argue about
controlling food leading to food issues. His parents were EXTREMELY
controlling about food. And he was very stubborn! He tells the classic
story of not eating his spinach and having it served for the next 4 meals.
Sitting at the table ALL night refusing to eat peas. Having Halloween
divvied out over months. The more his parents controlled the more he and
his siblings fought them.
Now he loves veggies (but only raw or lightly steamed) and he will eat
anything!! He's not a food lover like I am he doesn't seem to care if it's
a fancy restaurant or Mc D's as long as it's food and there's a lot of it.
The part he ignores though is his early childhood. He was adopted by the
above mentioned controlling parents at age 9!! Before that he grew up in a
small fishing village in Korea, food was scarce there and he remembers that
everyone got a bowl of rice and some chopsticks. All the food was served
'family style' which meant you snapped up one bite or so at a time and put
it on your rice and ate it. You learned to grab what you wanted and eat
fast because it was first come first serve and the little kids were at a
clear disadvantage. All veggies were steamed or raw. In between the two
meals a day you were pretty much on your own to find edible things. He
tells stories of eating raw sea slugs from the bay and stealing fruits and
veggies from neighbors yards. Sweets were basically non existent except for
some candies they would get from military people on rare occasion.
Now he hardly eats sweets at all. He passes up birthday cake and ice cream
cones and deserts of all kids. This is completely foreign to me :) He's a
big pop drinker though and shovels food which drives me crazy!!!
Like I said our combined food issues lie all over the spectrum. I'm better
at limiting my overall intake of food while he's certainly better at
limiting his sweets. We both love veggies but I like a wider variety of
cooking styles. He has issues with the 'clean your plate' thing that I
don't have. And we both have a hard time 'wasting' money on the junk food
our kids want rather than the junk food WE want!!!! ;)
DD4yo likes pastas and to a lesser degree meats. Broccoli is about the only
veggie she will eat. Big Bread eater. LOVES pop, loves sweets of all kind
but generally won't finish a hard candy or sucker (but wants them every time
she can anyway) She wants yogurt more than anything in the world. hungry
ALL OF THE TIME except at 'meal time'.
DS2yo eats meat. LOVES ice cream! Milk, eggs, seafood, will eat pasta but
really loves meat. Basically if it's an animal product he wants it. Does
not eat veggies except maybe broccoli ever 4th time or so. EATS! Like
daddy that way.
They both love fruit! I don't know, I look at it all here in writing and it
doesn't seem all that bad. My issues are that I have a hard time buying the
things they like. DD loves yogurt and I have a hard time justifying it
because it's like .50 a container. Never mind that I buy pop which is about
the same price and WAY less nutritious!! Money has always been really tight
and now hat It's not so much I'm trying to work myself out of miser mode.
It's hard. before basically anything that varied from the menu just wasn't
going to get bought. Now that money's not so much an issue it's like that
thinking is still stuck in my head. But now it's like someone else voice
coming out of my mouth saying 'no' to all requests. I don't WANT to be like
this!
it's not just that way with food though. I think it's from being the baby
of 7. Somewhere along the line I learned to be really miserly with money
and have to 'justify' every purchase. Even when we have the money I have a
hard time justifying spending it on things like that. Then at the same time
my 'weaker' side that loves dining out and hates cooking will use the same
money, I earlier denied my children, to take the whole family to dinner at
Jack In The Box!
So here are my problems in a nutshell. DH is big on clean plates (but
thinks that 'worked' for him so it will work for our kids). DH uses sweets
as a reward (and denies them as punishment) I use them to celebrate a job
well done and to show love. I refuse requests for impulse purchases in the
store. Dh says things like "You can chose to get this bag of chips (that I
want as opposed to the ones you want) or nothing." In both of our minds
'picky eating' is a bad thing and 'good eaters' are a good thing. Pop both
flows endlessly and is all caught up in power struggles in our home. The
only universally agreed upon veggie is broccoli (and we adults both like
salad). Everyone loves fruit but I hardly ever buy it because it's so damn
expensive and it's all gone in the first 2 days!!!
Help, advice, comments, welcome!!!!!
Katie
would deny having issues at all). I would like to allow my children to grow
up issue free but that doesn't sem to be happening.
I don't remember my parents being hugely restrictive about my food choices.
But I was the youngest of 7 and a lot of things were decided based entirely
on funds. We didn't really have sweets around the house much mostly just on
special occasions. Most of my childhood I remember my mom being sort of the
health food nut and my dad the white bread eater. :) He would buy chips
ahoy cookies and hide them they were HIS and no one else was allowed them.
That said my mom had a particular weakness for chocolate covered almonds.
We ate veggies and weren't forced to or harrassed about it. Fruit was a
good treat. We all had our 'favorite' foods and foods we hated and everyone
seemed pretty understanding about it all. My parents weren't big on the
clean plate club thing (either that or it never affected me because I was a
'good eater')
This has lead to me now. I eat basically whatever. I have very few things
I really don't like (basically just spicy things). I love veggies but don't
make a lot myself because I hate the prep involved. I love meat, bread,
pasta basically I just love food. And I really like 'good food' as in a
well planned meal in a nice restaurant. I love the way food tastes. And I
get a lot of emotional satisfaction from eating. I do love sweets.
Although I am finding that as an adult with no one hiding the cookies away
I'm finding myself a little more discriminating in the sweet department. I
don't like hard candies or other sweets without fat. :) I like cheese cake
and apple pie. Gotta have a little bit of the salty in there. It's comfort
food. The downside to all of this is I weigh 240 lbs (I'm only 5'1" so that
is a LOT).
DH looks at his childhood and discounts anything people argue about
controlling food leading to food issues. His parents were EXTREMELY
controlling about food. And he was very stubborn! He tells the classic
story of not eating his spinach and having it served for the next 4 meals.
Sitting at the table ALL night refusing to eat peas. Having Halloween
divvied out over months. The more his parents controlled the more he and
his siblings fought them.
Now he loves veggies (but only raw or lightly steamed) and he will eat
anything!! He's not a food lover like I am he doesn't seem to care if it's
a fancy restaurant or Mc D's as long as it's food and there's a lot of it.
The part he ignores though is his early childhood. He was adopted by the
above mentioned controlling parents at age 9!! Before that he grew up in a
small fishing village in Korea, food was scarce there and he remembers that
everyone got a bowl of rice and some chopsticks. All the food was served
'family style' which meant you snapped up one bite or so at a time and put
it on your rice and ate it. You learned to grab what you wanted and eat
fast because it was first come first serve and the little kids were at a
clear disadvantage. All veggies were steamed or raw. In between the two
meals a day you were pretty much on your own to find edible things. He
tells stories of eating raw sea slugs from the bay and stealing fruits and
veggies from neighbors yards. Sweets were basically non existent except for
some candies they would get from military people on rare occasion.
Now he hardly eats sweets at all. He passes up birthday cake and ice cream
cones and deserts of all kids. This is completely foreign to me :) He's a
big pop drinker though and shovels food which drives me crazy!!!
Like I said our combined food issues lie all over the spectrum. I'm better
at limiting my overall intake of food while he's certainly better at
limiting his sweets. We both love veggies but I like a wider variety of
cooking styles. He has issues with the 'clean your plate' thing that I
don't have. And we both have a hard time 'wasting' money on the junk food
our kids want rather than the junk food WE want!!!! ;)
DD4yo likes pastas and to a lesser degree meats. Broccoli is about the only
veggie she will eat. Big Bread eater. LOVES pop, loves sweets of all kind
but generally won't finish a hard candy or sucker (but wants them every time
she can anyway) She wants yogurt more than anything in the world. hungry
ALL OF THE TIME except at 'meal time'.
DS2yo eats meat. LOVES ice cream! Milk, eggs, seafood, will eat pasta but
really loves meat. Basically if it's an animal product he wants it. Does
not eat veggies except maybe broccoli ever 4th time or so. EATS! Like
daddy that way.
They both love fruit! I don't know, I look at it all here in writing and it
doesn't seem all that bad. My issues are that I have a hard time buying the
things they like. DD loves yogurt and I have a hard time justifying it
because it's like .50 a container. Never mind that I buy pop which is about
the same price and WAY less nutritious!! Money has always been really tight
and now hat It's not so much I'm trying to work myself out of miser mode.
It's hard. before basically anything that varied from the menu just wasn't
going to get bought. Now that money's not so much an issue it's like that
thinking is still stuck in my head. But now it's like someone else voice
coming out of my mouth saying 'no' to all requests. I don't WANT to be like
this!
it's not just that way with food though. I think it's from being the baby
of 7. Somewhere along the line I learned to be really miserly with money
and have to 'justify' every purchase. Even when we have the money I have a
hard time justifying spending it on things like that. Then at the same time
my 'weaker' side that loves dining out and hates cooking will use the same
money, I earlier denied my children, to take the whole family to dinner at
Jack In The Box!
So here are my problems in a nutshell. DH is big on clean plates (but
thinks that 'worked' for him so it will work for our kids). DH uses sweets
as a reward (and denies them as punishment) I use them to celebrate a job
well done and to show love. I refuse requests for impulse purchases in the
store. Dh says things like "You can chose to get this bag of chips (that I
want as opposed to the ones you want) or nothing." In both of our minds
'picky eating' is a bad thing and 'good eaters' are a good thing. Pop both
flows endlessly and is all caught up in power struggles in our home. The
only universally agreed upon veggie is broccoli (and we adults both like
salad). Everyone loves fruit but I hardly ever buy it because it's so damn
expensive and it's all gone in the first 2 days!!!
Help, advice, comments, welcome!!!!!
Katie
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/10/03 2:56:28 AM, katguts@... writes:
<< I refuse requests for impulse purchases in the
store. Dh says things like "You can chose to get this bag of chips (that I
want as opposed to the ones you want) or nothing." >>
Maybe for an educational and entertaining outing, take the kids to the store
and let them pick out ANY one thing each.
Or... make a list of them brainstorming what they would like to have from the
store if you had a million dollar shopping spree one day. And if you get the
things, try not to leave one kid out. If they brainstorm, you might find
them all shout YES! about one choice or another.
It will be healing for you, maybe, and exciting for them, and might lead to
more loosening up.
Sandra
<< I refuse requests for impulse purchases in the
store. Dh says things like "You can chose to get this bag of chips (that I
want as opposed to the ones you want) or nothing." >>
Maybe for an educational and entertaining outing, take the kids to the store
and let them pick out ANY one thing each.
Or... make a list of them brainstorming what they would like to have from the
store if you had a million dollar shopping spree one day. And if you get the
things, try not to leave one kid out. If they brainstorm, you might find
them all shout YES! about one choice or another.
It will be healing for you, maybe, and exciting for them, and might lead to
more loosening up.
Sandra
BADOLBILZ
Katie, I don't think you're in this boat alone. I, and to some extent I
think all of us, still struggle with old hang-ups. I'm pretty new to
all of this...unschooling, eating whatever, whenenver, no sleep
schedules. Even though we've pretty much been doing these things all
along, now I'm actually saying it out loud and part of me is thinking,
"you're crazy!" But I'm doing it anyway because I'm a firm believer
that the "crowd" isn't always right. Common sense tells me that these
changes are right. It still doesn't help that little voice inside that
is the Past Me. All those ingrained childhood things may never go away.
Does your husband feel things aren't right? I've discussed with my dh
what I'm learning from all of you and he thinks it's a joke. But I'm
the childbearer and raiser of this house, so what I say goes. To tell
you the truth, I'm trying to make these changes quietly though because
I'd rather he didn't notice too much too soon. I hate to fight with
people, even though sometimes I do anyway.
Anyway, don't beat yourself up. The first step in making a change is
seeing the need to change. I myself have started researching health and
exercise at sites like Mayoclinic.com. Knowledge is power. You don't
have to change anything right now. It doesn't even sound like things
are that bad. If you decide to start implementing changes, you'll
always find support here and I'm sure in a lot of other places, too.
Good luck, Heidi
Katrina Gutleben wrote:
think all of us, still struggle with old hang-ups. I'm pretty new to
all of this...unschooling, eating whatever, whenenver, no sleep
schedules. Even though we've pretty much been doing these things all
along, now I'm actually saying it out loud and part of me is thinking,
"you're crazy!" But I'm doing it anyway because I'm a firm believer
that the "crowd" isn't always right. Common sense tells me that these
changes are right. It still doesn't help that little voice inside that
is the Past Me. All those ingrained childhood things may never go away.
Does your husband feel things aren't right? I've discussed with my dh
what I'm learning from all of you and he thinks it's a joke. But I'm
the childbearer and raiser of this house, so what I say goes. To tell
you the truth, I'm trying to make these changes quietly though because
I'd rather he didn't notice too much too soon. I hate to fight with
people, even though sometimes I do anyway.
Anyway, don't beat yourself up. The first step in making a change is
seeing the need to change. I myself have started researching health and
exercise at sites like Mayoclinic.com. Knowledge is power. You don't
have to change anything right now. It doesn't even sound like things
are that bad. If you decide to start implementing changes, you'll
always find support here and I'm sure in a lot of other places, too.
Good luck, Heidi
Katrina Gutleben wrote:
>Dh and I have food issues from different ends of the spectrum (although he
>would deny having issues at all). I would like to allow my children to grow
>up issue free but that doesn't sem to be happening.
>
>I don't remember my parents being hugely restrictive about my food choices.
>But I was the youngest of 7 and a lot of things were decided based entirely
>on funds. We didn't really have sweets around the house much mostly just on
>special occasions. Most of my childhood I remember my mom being sort of the
>health food nut and my dad the white bread eater. :) He would buy chips
>ahoy cookies and hide them they were HIS and no one else was allowed them.
>That said my mom had a particular weakness for chocolate covered almonds.
>We ate veggies and weren't forced to or harrassed about it. Fruit was a
>good treat. We all had our 'favorite' foods and foods we hated and everyone
>seemed pretty understanding about it all. My parents weren't big on the
>clean plate club thing (either that or it never affected me because I was a
>'good eater')
>
>This has lead to me now. I eat basically whatever. I have very few things
>I really don't like (basically just spicy things). I love veggies but don't
>make a lot myself because I hate the prep involved. I love meat, bread,
>pasta basically I just love food. And I really like 'good food' as in a
>well planned meal in a nice restaurant. I love the way food tastes. And I
>get a lot of emotional satisfaction from eating. I do love sweets.
>Although I am finding that as an adult with no one hiding the cookies away
>I'm finding myself a little more discriminating in the sweet department. I
>don't like hard candies or other sweets without fat. :) I like cheese cake
>and apple pie. Gotta have a little bit of the salty in there. It's comfort
>food. The downside to all of this is I weigh 240 lbs (I'm only 5'1" so that
>is a LOT).
>
>DH looks at his childhood and discounts anything people argue about
>controlling food leading to food issues. His parents were EXTREMELY
>controlling about food. And he was very stubborn! He tells the classic
>story of not eating his spinach and having it served for the next 4 meals.
>Sitting at the table ALL night refusing to eat peas. Having Halloween
>divvied out over months. The more his parents controlled the more he and
>his siblings fought them.
>
>Now he loves veggies (but only raw or lightly steamed) and he will eat
>anything!! He's not a food lover like I am he doesn't seem to care if it's
>a fancy restaurant or Mc D's as long as it's food and there's a lot of it.
>The part he ignores though is his early childhood. He was adopted by the
>above mentioned controlling parents at age 9!! Before that he grew up in a
>small fishing village in Korea, food was scarce there and he remembers that
>everyone got a bowl of rice and some chopsticks. All the food was served
>'family style' which meant you snapped up one bite or so at a time and put
>it on your rice and ate it. You learned to grab what you wanted and eat
>fast because it was first come first serve and the little kids were at a
>clear disadvantage. All veggies were steamed or raw. In between the two
>meals a day you were pretty much on your own to find edible things. He
>tells stories of eating raw sea slugs from the bay and stealing fruits and
>veggies from neighbors yards. Sweets were basically non existent except for
>some candies they would get from military people on rare occasion.
>
>Now he hardly eats sweets at all. He passes up birthday cake and ice cream
>cones and deserts of all kids. This is completely foreign to me :) He's a
>big pop drinker though and shovels food which drives me crazy!!!
>
>Like I said our combined food issues lie all over the spectrum. I'm better
>at limiting my overall intake of food while he's certainly better at
>limiting his sweets. We both love veggies but I like a wider variety of
>cooking styles. He has issues with the 'clean your plate' thing that I
>don't have. And we both have a hard time 'wasting' money on the junk food
>our kids want rather than the junk food WE want!!!! ;)
>
>DD4yo likes pastas and to a lesser degree meats. Broccoli is about the only
>veggie she will eat. Big Bread eater. LOVES pop, loves sweets of all kind
>but generally won't finish a hard candy or sucker (but wants them every time
>she can anyway) She wants yogurt more than anything in the world. hungry
>ALL OF THE TIME except at 'meal time'.
>
>DS2yo eats meat. LOVES ice cream! Milk, eggs, seafood, will eat pasta but
>really loves meat. Basically if it's an animal product he wants it. Does
>not eat veggies except maybe broccoli ever 4th time or so. EATS! Like
>daddy that way.
>
>They both love fruit! I don't know, I look at it all here in writing and it
>doesn't seem all that bad. My issues are that I have a hard time buying the
>things they like. DD loves yogurt and I have a hard time justifying it
>because it's like .50 a container. Never mind that I buy pop which is about
>the same price and WAY less nutritious!! Money has always been really tight
>and now hat It's not so much I'm trying to work myself out of miser mode.
>It's hard. before basically anything that varied from the menu just wasn't
>going to get bought. Now that money's not so much an issue it's like that
>thinking is still stuck in my head. But now it's like someone else voice
>coming out of my mouth saying 'no' to all requests. I don't WANT to be like
>this!
>
>it's not just that way with food though. I think it's from being the baby
>of 7. Somewhere along the line I learned to be really miserly with money
>and have to 'justify' every purchase. Even when we have the money I have a
>hard time justifying spending it on things like that. Then at the same time
>my 'weaker' side that loves dining out and hates cooking will use the same
>money, I earlier denied my children, to take the whole family to dinner at
>Jack In The Box!
>
>So here are my problems in a nutshell. DH is big on clean plates (but
>thinks that 'worked' for him so it will work for our kids). DH uses sweets
>as a reward (and denies them as punishment) I use them to celebrate a job
>well done and to show love. I refuse requests for impulse purchases in the
>store. Dh says things like "You can chose to get this bag of chips (that I
>want as opposed to the ones you want) or nothing." In both of our minds
>'picky eating' is a bad thing and 'good eaters' are a good thing. Pop both
>flows endlessly and is all caught up in power struggles in our home. The
>only universally agreed upon veggie is broccoli (and we adults both like
>salad). Everyone loves fruit but I hardly ever buy it because it's so damn
>expensive and it's all gone in the first 2 days!!!
>
>Help, advice, comments, welcome!!!!!
>
>Katie
>
>
>To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>[email protected]
>
>
>
>Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
>
>
>
>
Kerrin or Ralph Taylor
I have really enjoyed reading the discussion on "unfooding". This is an area that I am working on and the biggest barrier for me is my own overeating. I believe what you have all said, that kids no longer need to obssess over particular foods when they are not limited. I see no reason why it wouldn't work with me as well, but there's a lot of old fear hanging around there! Has anyone else had this experience and how has it worked out for them?
Kerrin.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kerrin.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/12/03 9:46:31 PM, kerrin@... writes:
<< I see no reason why it wouldn't work with me as well, but there's a lot
of old fear hanging around there! Has anyone else had this experience and how
has it worked out for them? >>
It doesn't work as well for me and Keith as it does the kids, because we were
trained to "reward" with food, and "special" with food and "you deserve it"
with food.
The kids don't have those associations.
But having lots of something makes it last longer than having a little here.
Keith is only lately getting to where he will not finish off chips. For a
long time he would say "I don't want to buy chips because I'll just eat them
all. Finally others complained and once I said "Well DON'T eat them all."
It was simple, yet not simple.
It's just taking longer for us than for the kids. They had zero years of
conditioning to overcome. We had over thirty years of first parental
this'n'that, and then the years of CELEBRATION that we could eat the things
and eat the ways that had been forbidden!!
All that was pretty silly, and we hadn't considered really just eating what
it seemed our bodies needed or wanted WHEN our bodies communicated. That
came because we wanted to give Kirby as good an environment as we could. So
we're following him, only he's way ahead of us, having been doing it since
infancy.
Sandra
<< I see no reason why it wouldn't work with me as well, but there's a lot
of old fear hanging around there! Has anyone else had this experience and how
has it worked out for them? >>
It doesn't work as well for me and Keith as it does the kids, because we were
trained to "reward" with food, and "special" with food and "you deserve it"
with food.
The kids don't have those associations.
But having lots of something makes it last longer than having a little here.
Keith is only lately getting to where he will not finish off chips. For a
long time he would say "I don't want to buy chips because I'll just eat them
all. Finally others complained and once I said "Well DON'T eat them all."
It was simple, yet not simple.
It's just taking longer for us than for the kids. They had zero years of
conditioning to overcome. We had over thirty years of first parental
this'n'that, and then the years of CELEBRATION that we could eat the things
and eat the ways that had been forbidden!!
All that was pretty silly, and we hadn't considered really just eating what
it seemed our bodies needed or wanted WHEN our bodies communicated. That
came because we wanted to give Kirby as good an environment as we could. So
we're following him, only he's way ahead of us, having been doing it since
infancy.
Sandra
Alan & Brenda Leonard
4/13/03 13:19:
when you're hungry. Don't eat because you're bored, sad, frustrated, happy,
socializing, etc. unless what you're putting in your mouth is something you
really want and you are hungry.
In theory, it sounds very reasonable. In practice, it's a little more
complicated because of long-time food issues. But I agree that having more
around means I eat less. I used to crave m&m's. I have a full container of
them and two more bags of Valentine m&m's in the cupboard. I don't want
them. I think I put on a pound or two in the process, but I've stabilized
and starting to lose weight now, slowly. So it's working so far.
Big thing for me has been to pour a drink first. I tend to eat when I'm
thirsty, when I'm bored, etc. So now I drink crystal light. No calories,
etc., but more satisfying to me than water. A glass or so later, I'm not
interested in food any more. Bathroom, yes. Food, no. ;)
brenda
> I have really enjoyed reading the discussion on "unfooding". This is an areaUnfooding is really the most basic diet practice around: eat what you want,
> that I am working on and the biggest barrier for me is my own overeating. I
> believe what you have all said, that kids no longer need to obssess over
> particular foods when they are not limited. I see no reason why it wouldn't
> work with me as well, but there's a lot of old fear hanging around there! Has
> anyone else had this experience and how has it worked out for them?
when you're hungry. Don't eat because you're bored, sad, frustrated, happy,
socializing, etc. unless what you're putting in your mouth is something you
really want and you are hungry.
In theory, it sounds very reasonable. In practice, it's a little more
complicated because of long-time food issues. But I agree that having more
around means I eat less. I used to crave m&m's. I have a full container of
them and two more bags of Valentine m&m's in the cupboard. I don't want
them. I think I put on a pound or two in the process, but I've stabilized
and starting to lose weight now, slowly. So it's working so far.
Big thing for me has been to pour a drink first. I tend to eat when I'm
thirsty, when I'm bored, etc. So now I drink crystal light. No calories,
etc., but more satisfying to me than water. A glass or so later, I'm not
interested in food any more. Bathroom, yes. Food, no. ;)
brenda
Kerrin or Ralph Taylor
Thanks for that, Brenda. I'm encouraged!
Kerrin.
In theory, it sounds very reasonable. In practice, it's a little more
complicated because of long-time food issues. But I agree that having more
around means I eat less. I used to crave m&m's. I have a full container of
them and two more bags of Valentine m&m's in the cupboard. I don't want
them. I think I put on a pound or two in the process, but I've stabilized
and starting to lose weight now, slowly. So it's working so far.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kerrin.
In theory, it sounds very reasonable. In practice, it's a little more
complicated because of long-time food issues. But I agree that having more
around means I eat less. I used to crave m&m's. I have a full container of
them and two more bags of Valentine m&m's in the cupboard. I don't want
them. I think I put on a pound or two in the process, but I've stabilized
and starting to lose weight now, slowly. So it's working so far.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ren
I must say, I am shocked to find so much advice on an unschooling list about restricting all sugar and white flour, as though that were the root of the problem.
Julie,
He sounds very much like my second ds. He is always drawn to simple carbs and was a very picky eater for a very long time, still is fussier than anyone else in the house.
I think your whole thing about making them finish what they eat is a very bad idea. His resistance to eating sounds very much like a control issue, and I think the sooner you give him true control, the faster you'll see him being willing to try new things and eat better.
This worked beatifully for Jared, and though he is still very skinny, I don't worry because I see him eating a lot of variety.
Until you truly let him take charge of his eating, he will resist.
Try protein shakes as a "treat". We blend about 1/2 can of frozen OJ concentrate, 1-2 handfuls of frozen berries (raspberries are wonderful), some soy milk and whatever supplements he may need. Blend well for a creamy, delicious and yet healthy snack.
Adding protein powder would be a good idea right now when he needs calories so much.
Also, there are oodles of healthier snack foods at health food stores. Cookies and such that actually have some health value, but taste great too.
I don't think more control is going to have a good outcome in the long run. Making kids eat what they take is a great way to cause eating disorders...I think your ds might be living proof of that.
My SIL was bulemic for years over that very same issue.
Let it go. The waste to the human psyche/emotional health is far greater than any food costs.
Ren
Julie,
He sounds very much like my second ds. He is always drawn to simple carbs and was a very picky eater for a very long time, still is fussier than anyone else in the house.
I think your whole thing about making them finish what they eat is a very bad idea. His resistance to eating sounds very much like a control issue, and I think the sooner you give him true control, the faster you'll see him being willing to try new things and eat better.
This worked beatifully for Jared, and though he is still very skinny, I don't worry because I see him eating a lot of variety.
Until you truly let him take charge of his eating, he will resist.
Try protein shakes as a "treat". We blend about 1/2 can of frozen OJ concentrate, 1-2 handfuls of frozen berries (raspberries are wonderful), some soy milk and whatever supplements he may need. Blend well for a creamy, delicious and yet healthy snack.
Adding protein powder would be a good idea right now when he needs calories so much.
Also, there are oodles of healthier snack foods at health food stores. Cookies and such that actually have some health value, but taste great too.
I don't think more control is going to have a good outcome in the long run. Making kids eat what they take is a great way to cause eating disorders...I think your ds might be living proof of that.
My SIL was bulemic for years over that very same issue.
Let it go. The waste to the human psyche/emotional health is far greater than any food costs.
Ren
Angela
Thought you could use a chuckle. I was reading at
http://sandradodd.com/food about food issues and came across the following:
"We went out to eat at Olive Garden last night and the boys got this
activity sheet/menu to do while we waited. It had a cross word puzzle on it
and we were doing it. I was reading the questions and the boys were
answering. Questions like "Spaghetti is a _________." Well, the last
question was "Clean your __________." My boys had no idea what that could be
that would deal with food.
I gave them the answer then looked at Jackson, we were both brought up
hearing that phrase every day. I am so glad my boys have never heard it. Pam
G. "
I thought to myself...my kids have never heard anyone say "clean your plate"
either, I don't think. I wonder what they would fill that blank in with. I
explained to my 9 yo dd that a placemat had these fill in the blanks and had
her answer a couple that I made up. Then I gave her "Clean your ____." She
answered that one with ass. LOL!
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
http://sandradodd.com/food about food issues and came across the following:
"We went out to eat at Olive Garden last night and the boys got this
activity sheet/menu to do while we waited. It had a cross word puzzle on it
and we were doing it. I was reading the questions and the boys were
answering. Questions like "Spaghetti is a _________." Well, the last
question was "Clean your __________." My boys had no idea what that could be
that would deal with food.
I gave them the answer then looked at Jackson, we were both brought up
hearing that phrase every day. I am so glad my boys have never heard it. Pam
G. "
I thought to myself...my kids have never heard anyone say "clean your plate"
either, I don't think. I wonder what they would fill that blank in with. I
explained to my 9 yo dd that a placemat had these fill in the blanks and had
her answer a couple that I made up. Then I gave her "Clean your ____." She
answered that one with ass. LOL!
Angela
game-enthusiast@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Hello!!! I need a little support. I'm really having a hard time letting go of the food issues in regards to the kids. I battle with the kiddlets to eat healthy foods. One will eat fruit, but expects a treat after. The other eats NO fruit and some veggies. In my manical mind, I keep thinking he's gonna get scurvy!!!
How can I begin the process of letting my children choose their own foods. Do I get rid of most of the "junk" food in the house so they only have healthy choices?
I don't want my kids to have food issues. I want them to grow up and be healthy and eat healthy. Please give me step by step instructions and/or advice on how to reach this goal.
Thanks so much for anyone that responds.
Jen
How can I begin the process of letting my children choose their own foods. Do I get rid of most of the "junk" food in the house so they only have healthy choices?
I don't want my kids to have food issues. I want them to grow up and be healthy and eat healthy. Please give me step by step instructions and/or advice on how to reach this goal.
Thanks so much for anyone that responds.
Jen
k
Make the experience of food all about exploration with monkey
platters. See the link below!
http://sandradodd.com/eating/monkeyplatter
There. That is the easiest food advice ever. It was 100% painless
for us to go from worrying about food to having fun with food.
~Katherine
platters. See the link below!
http://sandradodd.com/eating/monkeyplatter
There. That is the easiest food advice ever. It was 100% painless
for us to go from worrying about food to having fun with food.
~Katherine
Verna
>just a few weeks ago i asked something similiar so i am no expert and although i have backstepped occasionnally in the past few weeks things have gotten better.
> I don't want my kids to have food issues. I want them to grow up and be healthy and eat healthy. Please give me step by step instructions and/or advice on how to reach this goal.
>
our issue isnt kids that wont eat fruit and vegtables (although i have one that has limited repetoire of them). our issue is eating too much. and always wanting what the person next to them has.
so i have started putting LOTS of choices out. For ex. lunch yesterday was a big plate of strawberries and carrots with ranch, a plate of whole wheat crackers cheese and ham, fruit smoothies and some fruit roll ups. if someone asks for something else i add enough for all.. like i think someone requested pretzels and the smoothies were an extra request too. after lunch the carrots, strawberries (we have had alot lately) were left. i refilled the ham once and added a few more crackers. They ate the strawberries throughout the afternoon and i think i ate most of the carrots.
Honestly, I am coming to realize our health is going to be more compremised by the stress that I am inflicting on the family than the extra food could.
Just an update to my past posts. My son, who I said never realizes he is full, just came up to me and told me his belly is stuffed. He ate two bowls of cereal, a mini bagel and after seeing his brother with pretzels asked for some of those. In the past I would have told him, " no, your full." but i gave him a few, half of which he fed to the dog, and then announced that his belly was full. he has been so much happier lately.
Sandra Dodd
-=-I battle with the kiddlets to eat healthy foods.-=-
Don't think of them as a team of kiddlets. It seems unrelated, but it
isn't. You're each individual child's partner in getting what he
feels he needs. If he can no longer (or never could) feel what he
needs, you have some undoing to do! But that's okay. LOTS of people
here have undone things and can help you.
-=-In my manical mind, I keep thinking he's gonna get scurvy!!!-=-
In your school-trained mine is where scurvy lives. The only scurvy in
your life was introduced by school and it's still causing you "a
battle" (your own phrase).
http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
If you really work on deschooling yourself, the parenting issues will
dissolve as well. It takes a while, but it takes the conscious wish
to make decisions based on what your new principles are becoming.
http://sandradodd.com/rules
Do some reading there, too.
-=-How can I begin the process of letting my children choose their own
foods.-=-
Say yes more often. Don't say no so much. Be happier about food,
when you can be. Be generous with food. Don't force them to finish
one thing in order to get another thing.
http://sandradodd.com/food
-=-Please give me step by step instructions-=-
Step one: Change the way you see the world.
That's the whole process! <g>
This might help, too, though, about gradually moving toward it.
http://sandradodd.com/gradualchange
and this will remind you not to go TOO gradually:
http://sandradodd.com/doit
I guess that's a step-by-step, although it won't seem, at first, to be
about food.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Don't think of them as a team of kiddlets. It seems unrelated, but it
isn't. You're each individual child's partner in getting what he
feels he needs. If he can no longer (or never could) feel what he
needs, you have some undoing to do! But that's okay. LOTS of people
here have undone things and can help you.
-=-In my manical mind, I keep thinking he's gonna get scurvy!!!-=-
In your school-trained mine is where scurvy lives. The only scurvy in
your life was introduced by school and it's still causing you "a
battle" (your own phrase).
http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
If you really work on deschooling yourself, the parenting issues will
dissolve as well. It takes a while, but it takes the conscious wish
to make decisions based on what your new principles are becoming.
http://sandradodd.com/rules
Do some reading there, too.
-=-How can I begin the process of letting my children choose their own
foods.-=-
Say yes more often. Don't say no so much. Be happier about food,
when you can be. Be generous with food. Don't force them to finish
one thing in order to get another thing.
http://sandradodd.com/food
-=-Please give me step by step instructions-=-
Step one: Change the way you see the world.
That's the whole process! <g>
This might help, too, though, about gradually moving toward it.
http://sandradodd.com/gradualchange
and this will remind you not to go TOO gradually:
http://sandradodd.com/doit
I guess that's a step-by-step, although it won't seem, at first, to be
about food.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
On 3/13/2009 6:52 AM, Verna wrote:
thought it might take months for him to adjust to a "life of plenty."
-pam
> Just an update to my past posts. My son, who I said never realizes he is full, just came up to me and told me his belly is stuffed. He ate two bowls of cereal, a mini bagel and after seeing his brother with pretzels asked for some of those. In the past I would have told him, " no, your full." but i gave him a few, half of which he fed to the dog, and then announced that his belly was full. he has been so much happier lately.I am SO happy for him, Verna. This was very quick, too - I really
>
>
thought it might take months for him to adjust to a "life of plenty."
-pam
Jenny C
>foods. Do I get rid of most of the "junk" food in the house so they only
> How can I begin the process of letting my children choose their own
have healthy choices?
>The really interesting thing is how everyone has a different idea of
what is "junk" and what is healthy. If you can recognize that kids have
their own ideas and you respect those ideas, it should logically follow
through with things such as food. What a kid might consider good, you
might consider junk. That judgement won't help a kid learn how to be
thoughtful and considerate about their own judgements and their own
decisions about the world, which food is a big part of, since we have to
have it to live!
Offer as many choices as you can. If a kid likes gummy bears, try many
different kinds of gummy bears, try making gummy bears, decorate things
with gummy bears. If you consider gummy bears to be junk, you'll be
missing out on some gummy bear fun.
Verna
> I am SO happy for him, Verna. This was very quick, too - I reallyI dont think he totally trusts it yet. but things have deffinately gotten better.
> thought it might take months for him to adjust to a "life of plenty."