"Sandra, thanks for the good cry."
I really want to say "I'm really sorry it made you cry." I went back and read it, though, and realized it made ME cry one time.
The other night Holly was expressing some hurt and sorrow she has about a relationship with one of her friends, and I said as sweetly as I could, "Holly, sometimes I wish you had never been born." She didn't take it horribly. We just hugged each other, and I said that probably sounds TERRIBLE, but if I hadn't had her, [that person] couldn't hurt her.
And her incident wasn't even among the greatest horrors a little girl can suffer, but I didn't tell her that. Because hurting is hurting, and saying "Oh, buck up--it's not like you've been molested or someone has died" would be cruelty on top of pain. I remember cruelty on top of pain sometimes from my own childhood, and I try hard to avoid doing that even accidentally.
So I sat with her in her moment of sadness and felt how good and tender-hearted she is, and hoped and wished that my decision to have a third child would bring more joy to her and others than pain. And I'm crying just writing that, so that makes two good cries, Nancy, so I'm going to go and do something physical. The house is quiet so I need to find a corner and do something where I won't wake anyone up.
Don't anyone be mean to your kids today, please. There will be enough hurt without us adding to it.
By Angie (Angie) on Friday, December 27, 2002 - 01:36 am: Hi Sandra,
I was just reading through some of your articles, and was taken by surprise when, in your article Tiny Monsters, you talked about sitting at your Granny's table when you were 5, in Fort Worth, Texas. I thought that was cool, because I was born and raised in Ft. Worth, went to Haltom High School (ugh). I moved to Dallas after I graduated HS, but now, many years later, I have been transplanted here, to Missouri. (it ain't so bad, really...it's actually quite a bit prettier than D/FW, and we had a white Christmas, here, too! You won't see that in Ft. Worth!) Anyway, I value your wisdom and insight very much on these boards, as I am sure others do as well, and it just made me smile to think of a 5 year old Sandra sitting at her Granny's table, in Fort Worth, Texas...Incidently, if it had not been for your articles and for the messages you posted on this board, I don't know if I would be unschooling right now. You really 'brought it home for me' so to speak. Our unschooling is working for us more and more each day, with no real 'work' involved!
Thank you Sandra!