When Moms use "We"


We just don't like the context of witches and sorcery and all . . . not putting down anyone who doesn't care, just our preference.
As unschooling continues to unfold, please consider the potential problems of "we" when written by the mom about the set of mom-and-children. How did "we" (your we) decide what you (as a collective group) liked? If you-the-mom made the unilateral decision, it will probably help your writing and your children's development if you say "I" when you mean "I."

It will be somewhere between hard and impossible for your children to know what their interests and preferences are if they feel part of a borg-like "we," when it comes to what's liked.


Someone wrote, about limiting television: "... but it's a choice we've made and live fine with."

Joyce wrote:

Not we. What you mean is it's a choice your husband and you have made because it's convenient for the parents and eases your worries. It doesn't feel the same to your daughter. Rules never feel the same to those who are in control as they do to those who are controlled by them.

What if your husband read some studies that reading caused blindness that you thought were bogus? What if he would only allow you to read for five minutes a day and only those things he preapproved? *He* would feel it was working and *he* would feel relieved that he didn't have to worry about you going blind from reading. But how would it feel to you?

A mom came to a discussion and wrote, in the course of her question "We're in grade 2."

I asked, "How many of you are in grade 2?"

"One son," she replied, and went on to defend her position that he had few interests, and she was imposing limitions.

Speaking for a child, expecting a child to be a subset of a mom, seems to be just language, but it touches on psychology, philosophy, spirituality, health, respect, abundance and truth

If speaking for a dyad, or a family, or a group, let it be expansive and empowering, not belittling and limiting.

Mindfulness and words Precisely how to unschool Issues