That's one of my favorite John Holt quotes: "To trust children we must first learn to trust ourselves...and most of us were taught as children that we could not be trusted." The main lesson that schools and adults left us with is that we can NOT be trusted. We must be taught. We must trust the experts. We are left devoid of a true connection with our powerful inner voice. In regaining that connection, we can truly honor and trust our children.Joanna Murphy responded:
Just yesterday a friend and I were discussing what we thought of as a distilling "factor" that must be present for unschooling/mindful parenting to be successful. The factor that came up was TRUST. With trust, the world opens up, horizons expand and life can seem exciting and limitless. Without trust, the world shuts down, gets narrow and petty. Each moment matters in the wrong way. I want more expansiveness in my life, not less.And the expansive quality of trust grows out from the center to touch every part of our lives. Trust that we ARE capable and that we will, through our honest endeavor, figure out a way. Trust that our children will find, ask or be provided with what they need, trust that they are in connection with us by their own choosing and free will—not through "enforcing." And trust that they will grow up loving and caring and interesting people without being "taught."
Joanna
Jenny Cyphers has a blog post called Trusting Kids which says many good things, but one of the best is, "There is no need to discipline a kid if they are never put in a position where they must choose between what they feel is right and what they feel their parents think is right." She's writing about her teenaged daughter.