Bad advice. Sometimes "support" is the same as very bad advice.
Come on people, we are all doing the best that we can.That's from a longer blogpost called "3 Things all Parents Need to Hear."
But those things aren't helpful, and they're not true in all cases. Let's not share scare stories, but each of you could think of a scare story —just one, don't inventory all the sad things you know—about a child who didn't survive, about a parent who wasn't ANY kind of expert, who should NOT be trusted.
Anyone who soothes an irresponsible, neglectful, or abusive parent is contributing to that neglect and abuse.
ARE all kids eventually okay? No.
The author of that blog post thinks so. The 144 people who shared it thought so.
I don't think so.
I'm NOT saying everyone should become unschoolers. Many people should not even consider unschooling. Unschooling's not easy.
What I'm saying is that it's better to encourage other parents to be conscious and careful, patient and kind, than to spread nonsense like everything's the same and no one else can say you could possibly do better.
The writing wasn't considering the kids' point of view. If a child thinks a parent could do better, shouldn't that matter? But this was just parents assuring parents that there is no such thing as half-assed, no such thing as bad parenting. All parenting is equal and all children will survive and be fine.
People who would prefer that message to actual ideas that could help should probably leave this group and find "support" for just whatever, because it is definitely out there.
The original post is from July 4, 2015, at this link. Some (not all) of the responses are below.
This just makes me shudder: "Come on people, we are all doing the best that we can."
I have a story that I should probably not share, due to this being a public group. But it ties in to #2 above, and how people like to spout off that "kids are resilient." I think adults say that to make themselves feel better, and I think it's a mentality that needs to change. We as parents cannot repeatedly subject children to whatever with the belief that "kids are resilient." Bad parenting can cause real psychological damage.
I have some long-term issues that have to do with how I was raised. I had a counselor who repeatedly said, "your mother was doing the best she could with what she knew." It took me years (and the experience of having my own child) to admit that no, she wasn't doing the best she could. Some of the decisions she made were selfish and did not take me into consideration at all. She was dismissive of my emotions, sometimes cruel, often leaving me to my own devices.
Ten months later, Shannon returned with brilliant ideas:
Reading this again and thinking how horrified people would be if these sentiments were about spouses, especially a man talking about wives. We might think to ourselves, "Well, that marriage isn't going to last or be functional! She should get out!"