Being precocious, more skilled, more independent than your age would predict, is often praised by people. Oh, she's reading so young, oh he's tying his own shoes, what a big boy. But they stop praising it when it sometimes leads to oh, she's pregnant at 15, oh, he's smoking at 12.
There is a bit of a flip side on these things. Independence comes early with less care. There was a big NICHD study on early child care and two very interesting findings came out of it. One, children who go to daycare early are typically more precocious than children who either go later or go less. Two, children who go to daycare are more likely to have aggressive encounters with others. Caring for a child produces a child who can care more, but they grow slower. Like good food or wine or trees.
I have been as solicitous of my children and their needs and feelings as I could be, and in turn they have grown into generous, kind adults.
Sandra Dodd, from Being your child's PARTNER, not his adversary
I have learned from my family and blossomed within my own inner geography as much as the kids have blossomed and grown into the wide world around them. As with most kinds of growth, it's difficult to see the changes on a daily or short-term basis. It's when you look back over a longer period that you really see, and are amazed by, the amount of growth that has happened.
Frank Maier, from On Being a Dad
Each tree grows from a single seed, and when a tree is growing in your yard what is the best thing you can do for it? You can nurture it and protect it, but measuring it doesn’t make it grow faster. Pulling it up to see how the roots are doing has never helped a tree a bit. What helps is keeping animals from eating it or scratching its bark, making sure it has water, good soil, shade when it needs it and sun when it needs it, and letting its own growth unfold peacefully. It takes years, and you can’t rush it.
So it is with children. They need to be protected from physical and emotional harm. They need to have positive regard, food, shade and sun, things to see, hear, smell, taste and touch. They need someone to answer their questions and show them the world, which is as new to them as it was to us. Their growth can’t be rushed, but it can be enriched.
Sandra Dodd, from Changing the world: Some Thoughts on Unschooling