Frustration on Facebook Group

April 14, 2016 by Jessica Hughes, in response to someone going on and on and on about how the group should be different. I've inserted some links, into her description:
You should not be shocked by *anything* about a group you did not take the time to learn about before posting. Please read the pinned post so as to avoid any further confusion, I promise you it will be very helpful.

This group is *not* a support group in any way and it can be shocking and feel rude to those who come in with uninformed expectations. I would also let you know you are by no means the first person (or even first person this week) to take up the banner of telling this long established group that you disagree with the long-established standards set by Sandra Dodd (the owner of this page) and the moderators she has assisting her with such a large task. All you want to say about the group being unreasonable has been heard and set aside and you are distracting from actual learning by taking what is always a fruitless course.

I understand it is very different from other groups but that is what makes it effective. Four years after getting past my own shock and pique I am very grateful that the group is what it is and does what it does.

May 2018, someone fairly new to the group (male) was sarcastic and tacky:

Sandra Dodd

I took the author's name off of this:
So is there a test we need to take or a tribunal we need to stand in front of to determine if we're experienced enough to give advice? Or should we just leave it to the experts?
If you're not sure if you're an experienced unschooler, then you aren't.

When you can write something that comes from unschooling principles and from personal experience, write if you want to, IF what's being written will benefit very many other readers.

The whole idea of the group is to help people become experienced unschoolers.

If a tribunal of others tells you you're a great unschooler but you're not, it won't have done any good. If someone comes up with a test and you pass it and get a certificate, it won't make your advice better.

Be honest. Be humble. Be open.

He came right back:

[That dad]:

Why would you assume I don't want my name attributed to that? I thought it was pretty funny. :-) I would like the credit for it.
Alex Arnott:
I doubt assumptions were made. Who wrote it doesnít matter. Itís what was written that Sandra is commenting about. Itís not about you. Itís about helping others.
Virginia Warren:
Was it an honest question or a joke?

Could it possibly be an honest question? Standing in front of a tribunal? How would that happen, exactly?

Can you explain why you think it's on-topic, if it is a joke?

There is a test of sorts, I think, and it is: Can you stay on topic? How to do so is explained very precisely in this very post.

[That dad]:
For an unschooling group, people sure seem pretty uptight.
Karen James responded to the "uptight" insult.

Sandra Dodd, 2015:
One day I got cranky, on Radical Unschooling Info because several topics had people being whiney and rude. I'm saving this so I can link it the next time I want to express those ideas, without going on a fresh rant. My life will be more peaceful if I can leave a link rather than say these things again. There will be other people in the future who could use knowing that such frustration can build up.
It's happened. I'm tired of helping new unschoolers, because some people have been exceedingly tacky recently. I'll probably recover, but what a bunch of bullshit, people! Be nice or be gone. Partly it's facebook, and that people join groups without reading the descriptions or the pinned posts, and then get mad at me for wishing they had read it.

Here, from the "about" of this group, the very first paragraph:

Links and directions to information for new and experienced Unschoolers who extend that learning beyond academics.

Directions to information.

People seem miffed that we expect the to read more than what's here. They seem to want to be spoonfed the information they need to unschool, and quickly. Unschooling doesn't work that way. Buying a curriculum does. You find the site, order the right year for your child, fill in your address and make a payment.

Unschooling is about deciding to change your life and beginning to do so, for your child's benefit. It might seem at first that it will take quite a while, and then you see that it will take years and then (IF YOU DO IT), you can't go back to the time when you hadn't changed.

If you don't have years to pay attention to what you're doing, writing, saying, thinking, and WHY, and why it matters, this won't be a good group for you.

Read this. If this link is too much for you to read, never ever post here.

Some of the responses are below, and all of them are at the original on facebook, maybe (depending how long it's been since 2015 when you read this),

Marge Bartlett
We've been unschooling for about 14 years. I have joined and left several unschooling lists in that time, but yours is the only one that remains. There are many voices on it who have been helpful to me over the years--I couldn't begin to name them all. Through it all, however, it has most often been yours that has been the voice of reason. You have a no nonsense style that seems to put people's backs up at times, but it is one that I have greatly appreciated.
More from me, there:

Someone had written:
-=- I find myself angered that people can be so dismissive with such a valuable resource. -=-

I responded:
It's possible that they think all unschooling discussions are the same, and that there are dozens of them.

It's likely that they're more accustomed to vacuum cleaner salesmen and restaurant managers who desperately try to keep their customers happy and buying. If they think unschooling discussions are in competition like burger joints, they might think I'll suck up to them to keep them here, or beg them to stay if they start to express discomfort. I'm not even going to offer them free fries.

But I do offer free big-damned website with a search (at the bottom) that includes Joyce Fetteroll's big damned site and Pam Laricchia's quickly-growing site!

I felt all sorts in an instant then reading that! Mostly pissed off that this should happen and make you feel this way. 'Be nice or be gone' should perhaps be the first and ONLY thing new unschoolers read! I hope you recover, but take the time you need, I have been busy out and about and have only read snippets but what I did took my breath away.

Guidelines and introduction, Radical Unschooling Info About Membership in the group

Note to those for whom English is a second (or third) language Feedback