True Tales of Kids Turning Down Sweetsand the benefits to parentsIt's soooo weird to see a mini-candy bar half eaten. It's not something my brain can really understand...I supposed I'll get used to it eventually. (in discussing children eating part of candy and leaving the rest)
Yeah, it kind of makes my brain twirl when DS (7) eats half a double
chocolate donut then leaves the other half sitting so he can have a
grilled cheese sandwich (or whatever else he decides he wants at the
time that isn't a chocolate donut) - sometimes he comes back and
finishes it, sometimes the half donut sits a day or two until it's
obvious he doesn't want it any longer then out it goes. The hardest
thing was not going ahead and eating it myself (or DH eating
it) "because it's there". We're eating better (more consciously) by
learning from DS to listen to our insides as to what we want when and
when we're done. My daughter was eating her dinner in front of the TV in the basement when she flew up the stairs to ask what was for dessert. "Peach cobbler with ice cream. Do you want some?" I replied. "After I finish my broccoli," she answered and she flew back down the stairs. My husband and I just looked at each other in amazement. This is a kid whose diet has consisted mainly of corn dogs and doughnuts (glazed, chocolate, or with sprinkles!) for the past two weeks.
same child, another year:We had the opportunity to out to eat twice this past Sunday. At our dinner meal we discussed getting the big, gooey, chocolate cake with the giant dip of ice cream and the hot oozing chocolate sauce (I'm making myself hungry!) for dessert. My older DD (7) who loves sweets said at the end of the meal, "I'm full, let's not have the cake." And we all agreed and there was no cake. He wasn't in the mood to eat, had just seen someone on TV eating ice cream. We always have ice cream in the freezer, he rarely eats it but an apple or watermelon will be gone in no time. Lanora, 13, was talking about eating some cantaloupe. I told her that it was really good with ice cream, she looked at me like I had suggested pouring sand over it. She likes her melon neat, thank you.
Kris [On UnschoolingBasics, Ren had written: "can't tell you how many times my kids have thrown candy away "] This is true at our home also. Logan did go trick or treating this year and most of it is still in a box in his room. Brenna occasionally asks him for a piece and he tells her go ahead (she didn't go trick or treating). Candy is always around and chips and ice cream. If the neighbor kids don't come by often to eat the ice cream we have been known to throw it out when it gets a little old. The other night we went through Mc Donald's Drive thru my oldest ordered a water with his meal. He knows he can have a pop whenever he wants but that night water was what he wanted. It is so cool when you let go.
May 2004 At home, Jalen asked for water because he didn't want his soda that came with the Happy Meal.(more myths about 3 y.o.'s being disproven by my free wild child).
Marty (15) had been running around outside in the sun for a few hours, and I offered to take him to Ben & Jerry's. He said he wanted to go home and have real food, not ice cream, but thanks. May 2004 Around 10 a.m., Andy (3.75 years) and I were up on the computer playing games, and I said, "Hey! Let's go downstairs and eat some ice cream!" He wrinkled his nose and said, "Nah, I'm not in the mood for ice cream today." His overall intake of healthy stuff is really good. If he asks for cookies or cake or ice cream anytime, and we have it in the house, he can eat it. He can eat as much as he wants. We don't always have it in the house, and then he chooses other things.
Children that truly have choices, won't feel the need to always choose the most sugary choice, or the choice that gets them away from home the fastest... They have access to it all, so they can make choices based on what they really want or need, not what is most limited in their lives. Jalen just turned 3 in February. He chooses water to drink more often than any other liquid. He had cream soda, soymilk (both vanilla and strawberry/banana) to choose from last night. He only wanted water. If I regulated what he drank, he would have a harder time listening to his true needs, and go for the limited items. It's cool when they don't need to do that.
Here is my success story of the week: My kids have now had food freedom for about a week and a half. Last night we ate dinner at the Olive Garden. They had some fruit and snacks before we left, because they don't like restaurant food, generally. The last time we ate there, the boys just scarfed as many breadsticks as the server would bring and guzzled root beer like there was no tomorrow. THIS time, Zach drank about half of his root beer, ate 1.5 breadsticks, and said he was full. He didn't even want to try one bite of the dessert we ordered. I have NEVER seen this kid turn down chocolate cake before. He didn't NEED to try it because he knows he can have "dessert" (whether it's cake or marshmallows or jelly beans) when he is hungry for it. Even in such a short time I have been seeing some really positive changes, and we're all much happier and more relaxed about food. My husband even said, "I've got to admit, this is sure a lot easier!"
I bought groceries this evening, including ice cream and some deli ham. Both girls said they'd like some ice cream. They started to eat it, then Jackie asked for some ham. I put out a couple of slices. She ate it and asked for more. Lisa decided to have a piece too. Then Jackie said she would like more ham, but if she did she wouldn't be able to finish her ice cream. I said that would be OK, just to eat what she wanted. She ate about four slices of ham and a bit of ice cream, and left the rest melting in the bowl. I was putting away the groceries while this was going on. As I put the carrots away, I thought about how tasty a carrot sounded. I could have had ice cream — in fact I love ice cream — but I had the carrot instead because it really sounded better at that moment. I know I can have ice cream AND carrots both, whenever I want. It feels so good to eat what I want. I heard a radio show recently, I think it was NPR's This American Life, about food. One segment of the show said that one reason French women are so thin is because they eat sweets whenever they wish and they don't feel guilty about it. That may be a poor stereotype, but I liked the sound of it. Eat what you really want and feel good about eating it.
on unschooling.com This is one of those "it works" stories. We got back from Hometown Buffet and a quick trip to the store. Jayn said, "Do we have any chocolate?" I answered "yes" and since I happened to be standing near the chocolate in the kitchen, I broke off a piece and held it out to her. "I don't want any. Thank you." And she wandered off.
Oh, I've got one too! I went with my daughter to her Girl Guides enrollment ceremony last night. There was a table full of chips, donuts, cookies, cakes during the party afterwards and she didn't want any of it. But as soon as we got home, she said she was hungry and asked for a bowl of oatmeal. LOL! It's not that she just doesn't like donuts, cookies etc. - I took her and her younger brother out to get some donuts the other day because they asked. The great thing is that she doesn't feel the need to eat them just because they are available (that's me!).
Hee hee, I have one also, last nite we came back from the grocery store, and a friend was at the door. As I was putting the groceries away, including sugar wafers that he had wanted, they got out the yogurt and the string cheese. His friend had never had string cheese before, she liked it a lot! If my kids watched TV for hours each day, I might not be a good person to listen to about this, but I'll say it again: Unlimited access to TV and to food in my house has produced kids who only watch TV when they want to, and who only eat what they want to eat which is NOT a bunch of candy. Holly asked for broccoli Tuesday. I bought some and cooked it before I knew she had gone to her friend's for an overnighter (she got the invite and left while I was shopping). So yesterday she asked about it, I reheated it and brought it to her at the TV where she was playing a game, waiting for the Simpsons to come on. She finished that bowl of broccoli, salt and butter, and asked for more with less butter. I cooked the rest of it, and she ate most of it. When The Simpsons ended she was done with the TV. This isn't theoretical broccoli or TV, it was yesterday.
Thursday, August 9, 2001 (From a TV discussion, which is enshrined online here: TV Debate) More about food freedoms or unschooling or parenting issues for unschoolers. |