Attachment Parenting

When I talk about attachment parenting, I'm talking about the idea that if you allow a child to be near you as much as the child desires, without pushing him away or leaving him anywhere against his will (not at the neighbors, not in a dark bedroom) he will grow more gently and solidy, and you will be a better parent for being with him so much that you really, truly know him and he fully, honestly has faith in your presence and your love.

Much of this page was created October 31, 2010, for an Attachment Parenting workshop in Pune. This image is what I used as a handout:

click here to see PHOTOS OF THE SESSION

Some Indian links:

India Homeschoolers, Homeschooling, Unschooling and Peaceful-Parenting Forum.

Dr. Mangala Wani, who was also at the session, is a Lactation Consultant in Pune (also an obstetrician and gynaecologist). Her number at the "Hirkani" Gynaecology & Breast Feeding Clinic is 25677274. (Those who were at the session will have other contact information.)

If I had been home with my printer and a Kinko's a block away, I might have made a handout, so this page will be it. I had a letter on October 29 from someone who was looking for a page on my site, and from her clues I helped her find it. She responded:

I saw you speak at the Homeschool Conference in Sacramento this year. I had never heard of you before and knew very little of unschooling. You talked alot about partnerships. My child had always been my adversary even though that's not how I thought of it. I left the conference room stunned. It all made sense to me. All the problems in our household, all the conflict could all be boiled down to broken partnerships and not trusting each other. Not really even broken because the partnership was never really there. I bookmarked this page this page so I can look at it when I feel lost.

Coming from a Love and Logic way of parenting it's hard some days to quiet that voice in my head. The other day Austin wanted to take a bath in his clothes and wanted me to sit with him while he played. I did and had a hard time watching the water hit the floor when he was washing his clothes. All I could think about was the mess and cleaning it up that I wasn't seeing the fun that was being had. It took me less than two minutes to clean up the water and afterward I thought, "Damn! I could have just had fun with him in the bathroom and helped him wash his clothes in the bath but instead I nagged him about the water on the floor which wasn't that big of a deal to clean up." I came across this page that night. It reminded me what I am trying to do here which is to build a partnership and a friendship and trust.

Note: I had never heard of "Love and Logic," but there are seminars for parents and teachers. It seems to involve manipulations and punishments, and I'm not interested in knowing more than I saw with a brief look.

Links for further consideration:
Being your child's PARTNER, not his adversary (

Children Need Touching and Attention, Harvard Researchers Say

Information about the life and research of John Bowlby.

A General Theory of Love is a book by Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini and Richard Lannon, psychiatry professors at the University of California, San Francisco. (Available on Flipcart here)

Attachment Parenting International

Note from Sandra... I'm not recommending or promoting this organization; just passing on the link. It has been known to advocate against modern culture, television, and technology in ways with which I'm not comfortable. Someone did send me this link, though:
A pro-TV article on the Attachment Parenting site: