connieod

Greetings everyone,

We are in the second year of SECULAR homeschooling in NC (yes,
the "structured, bible-belt driven state), and I am starting to lean
towards unschooling. I have two wonderful daughters; one in
particular is profoundly gifted, with millions of questions and
insatiable curiosity ---- as well as energy!

Looking forward to learning from all of you; I am a structured
person myself, and am a little shaky at the outset of this adventure.

Thanks,
Connie O'Donnell
Raleigh, NC
connieo@...

[email protected]

<< Looking forward to learning from all of you; I am a structured
person myself, and am a little shaky at the outset of this adventure. >>

There's a lot of stuff to structure without trying to structure your
children's learning! You could structure the HECK out of laundry and your
own hobbies and schedule and the garage or store room! <g>


It would probably be to your advantage and your daughter's HUGE advantage if
you never again mention or even think "profoundly gifted." There isn't a
good exit from that room. That label does people no more good than
"profoundly disabled" or any other label, and does harm parents seem never to
accept any responsibilty for.

Just let her be her, and if she hit the high part of a learning curve early,
don't expect her to cure cancer on the moon. It's too much pressure, and
spoils relationships.

People with four-foot-tall seven year olds don't say "He's profoundly tall,
so we're planning on basketball because his main strength is his height, and
we have to raise him as a tall child." My friend Karen was taller than
everyone else in 4th grade, taller than the teacher, and that was about as
tall as she ever got. 5'2" That was it. Most of us are taller than she is
now.

Same happens with reading levels, same happens with "getting math" early, and
other things.

"Prodigy" is not a fun thing to be.
Human is a GOOD thing.
Person-by-name is the best. My daughter is Holly. Some things she's great
at, some she's not as interested in or as good at. She's Holly.

Sandra

Julie W

Sandra said
> It would probably be to your advantage and your daughter's HUGE advantage
if
> you never again mention or even think "profoundly gifted." There isn't a
> good exit from that room. That label does people no more good than
> "profoundly disabled" or any other label, and does harm parents seem never
to
> accept any responsibilty for.
>
> Just let her be her, and if she hit the high part of a learning curve
early,
> don't expect her to cure cancer on the moon. It's too much pressure, and
> spoils relationships.
>
> People with four-foot-tall seven year olds don't say "He's profoundly
tall,
> so we're planning on basketball because his main strength is his height,
and
> we have to raise him as a tall child." My friend Karen was taller than
> everyone else in 4th grade, taller than the teacher, and that was about as
> tall as she ever got. 5'2" That was it. Most of us are taller than she
is
> now.
>
> Same happens with reading levels, same happens with "getting math" early,
and
> other things.
>
> "Prodigy" is not a fun thing to be.
> Human is a GOOD thing.
> Person-by-name is the best. My daughter is Holly. Some things she's
great
> at, some she's not as interested in or as good at. She's Holly.

I too feel labelling is counterproductive.
Can I save this to quote from time to time? It expresses my feelings
exactly but pulls it all together beautifully.

Julie W
Wellington

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/26/02 3:38:17 PM, xtr581602@... writes:

<< I too feel labelling is counterproductive.
Can I save this to quote from time to time? It expresses my feelings
exactly but pulls it all together beautifully. >>

Oh sure. <g>
Thanks.

Maybe I should put it on the website instead of writing it over every time I
want to say why I object to giftedness labels.

The funny thing is that many of those who label their children "gifted" then
want to know whether I or my children are "gifted." I assume they want to
snort if they think I'm not (figuring I know nothing about it and am just
jealous) or pay twice as much attention if they think I am (assuming, maybe,
that I MUST know, then, and being gifted would be worth listening to).

And that right there is proof of the problem.

Someone can score phenomenally high on SATs and be tone deaf, clumsy, lacking
in simple everyday logic, and unable to tell a frustrated tone of voice from
a patient and doofy tone of voice. Someone can be really wonderfully
intuitive, observant, a star ballerina, professional musician, award-winning
athlete, and score like a retard on the SATs.

I have two male friends who have seven of Gardner's intelligences. Neither
of them has the nature thing, so I won't say "eight." Both of them, jocks,
writers, math/engineering whizzes (one's a systems analyst and one a computer
tech of some sort). Both are self aware, philosophical, and good with
interpersonal relations. Both are musicians. Both do very well in
scholastic pursuits formal and home-for-fun.

Neither of them brags it up. They also are modest!

Were they "gifted" in school?

What would it matter now that they're in their 30's if they were or not?

Sandra