Alicia Knight

I am an extrovert married to an introvert. Sometimes we extroverts are
so bull-headed that we just can't seem to understand the need for
introverts to recharge with solitude. When dh and I were dating, I
would drag him out to parties and receptions where there would be rooms
full with people. To me -- this was a like diving into a huge box of
chocolate -- and I would plunge right in. He would gamely try to follow
me, but I would later find him hugging the wall in some remote corner.
At one party there was a huge room -- hundreds of people, lots of
political celebrities -- and I was in heaven! I turned to find dh and
he looked terrible -- green and pasty, clammy and trembling. He looked
like he was about to faint. I realized that he was having a physical
reaction to the situation -- that was just the opposite of my enjoyment
of it. After that, I truly understood that we're just wired differently.

Dh's family has told me that after being around me for 15 years, he's
become more out-going and participatory. And I've been told that I've
become more reflective and quiet. (Not that I'm all that quiet now --
maybe just less "out-there" than I used to be.) I really appreciate the
introverts in my life because I think they're better at observing the
things that I miss while I'm so busy "interacting."

~ Alicia

Janet Hamlin wrote:

> Speaking as an introvert, you can't make us extroverts! I have just been
> reading some diaries I wrote when I was 18 and living in Peru as an
> exchange
> student. The recurring theme was: Why can't people accept me like I
> am? I
> should be more outgoing, friendly, yada yada yada. No one had told me it
> was OK to just be myself and that being an introvert was OK!! I enjoy
> being
> with people and having fun, but I reach my limit after a few hours and
> need
> to be alone. In fact, I wrote, "I really just like to be by myself to
> read
> and think my own thoughts."
>
> It was interesting to read that while my basic personality traits are
> still
> the same, I accept myself for who I am and I am not afraid or ashamed of
> needing my quiet times to recharge.
>
> Janet, off on a tangent......
>
>
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema

My problem with the young woman's attitude was that while she was acting
(and probably is?) introverted, she was blaming her parents for her not
*learning* to be extroverted! Blaming another entity for one's own
personal proclivities pushes my buttons big time and is just plain old not
good for anybody. My second problem is that the parents seemed willing to
take on that blame! Whoa!

If the young lady thinks it's possible to *learn* to be more extroverted
then she should go ahead and try (not that I think it'll work.) Otherwise,
she should lay off of her parents and take some responsibility for her own
life and actions.

It's got nothing to do really with being extro or intro, but everything to
do with being responsible for your own life and not blaming others for what
you are or aren't.
Harumph!
...okay, I'll get off my soapbox now...
...grump, grump, grump...
Heidi