Jamie Lemon

We have been "de-fooding" for about 2 months now.
It is a success. I no longer require the kids to eat things they don't
like. I no longer restrict snacks.
I buy healthy and no-so-healthy food. They choose equally for the most part
from all the foods.

Our son who normally who turns his nose up at anything new is now trying and
liking lots of new foods. Our daughter who used to sneak snacks is now
snacking less frequently (and many times on fruits & veggies). Both the
kids have dropped some weight and are happier with meal times. If they hate
what I cooked they can have something else (something that does not require
me to cook a second meal)

There are 2 small restrictions that still remain and the kids are very
agreeable to them....
1) they have to ask before they have pop, in case there is not much left
(they have many other drink choices as well)
2) if a food item is part of a planned meal (which are posted on the fridge
weekly) they should not eat it all and screw up the menu plans.

We currently have Oreos, ice cream, wafer cookies, chocolate covered
peanuts, pokemon fruit snacks, etc in the house. These items were bought
over 2 weeks ago. Normally they would have been gone in a few days. Dole
fruit bowls (mandarin oranges) are like GOLD around here, so is apple juice
and bananas. My birthday cake was not completely finished off and had to be
thrown out once it got old. (that is a first!)

I am happy to see that this is working out for us. I have always had issues
with food. I am very overweight now, always have been. I started my first
diet at age 10 at my mother's request. She still asks about my weight every
time I see her. I noticed that I used to eat alot of junk food when I was
around my parents. Now I try to make healthier choices.
I was happily surprised to find (when I visited my doc last week) that I
have lost about 6 pounds in 4 weeks. Slow & steady, without suffering and
without effort. So this new way of dealing with food is working for me as
well.

Zan


----- Original Message -----
From: meghanfire
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, August 11, 2002 11:13 PM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Food (was Hawaii Theme Back to School Party)


We have the same thing going on here. We've got a full carton of
ice cream, chocolate raisins and a 1/4 pack of Oreos (that I will
have to throw away because they're probably stale by now!).
Today we had instant pudding for the first time and Tamzin had a
few bites and didn't want anymore because it was too sweet
<g>. I truly believe that if you don't restrict food choices they will
eat a balanced and overall a healthy diet.
I also believe that you don't necessarily have to get all your
nutrients in one day. I think that if your kid eats nothing but french
bread with butter on it for a day and then eats loads of fruit the
next day (as Tamzin did a few days ago at my mom's house
<g>), then it all evens out in the body in the long run. I don't know
if I'm making any sense about this to anyone, I'm having a hard
time explaining it somehow.
I know, from two different friend's experiences, that you have to
allow time to de-food (just like de-schooling) if kids have been
used to having food controlled.

Meghan

Sharon Rudd

Woo Hoo!! Good for you....what do you tell your
Mother, now? Is she worried,concerned, obsessed..?
Sharon of the Swamp

--- Jamie Lemon <zanhawk@...> wrote:
> We have been "de-fooding" for about 2 months now.
> It is a success. I no longer require the kids to
> eat things they don't
> like. I no longer restrict snacks.
> I buy healthy and no-so-healthy food. They choose
> equally for the most part
> from all the foods.
>
> Our son who normally who turns his nose up at
> anything new is now trying and
> liking lots of new foods. Our daughter who used to
> sneak snacks is now
> snacking less frequently (and many times on fruits &
> veggies). Both the
> kids have dropped some weight and are happier with
> meal times. If they hate
> what I cooked they can have something else
> (something that does not require
> me to cook a second meal)
>
> There are 2 small restrictions that still remain and
> the kids are very
> agreeable to them....
> 1) they have to ask before they have pop, in case
> there is not much left
> (they have many other drink choices as well)
> 2) if a food item is part of a planned meal (which
> are posted on the fridge
> weekly) they should not eat it all and screw up the
> menu plans.
>
> We currently have Oreos, ice cream, wafer cookies,
> chocolate covered
> peanuts, pokemon fruit snacks, etc in the house.
> These items were bought
> over 2 weeks ago. Normally they would have been
> gone in a few days. Dole
> fruit bowls (mandarin oranges) are like GOLD around
> here, so is apple juice
> and bananas. My birthday cake was not completely
> finished off and had to be
> thrown out once it got old. (that is a first!)
>
> I am happy to see that this is working out for us.
> I have always had issues
> with food. I am very overweight now, always have
> been. I started my first
> diet at age 10 at my mother's request. She still
> asks about my weight every
> time I see her. I noticed that I used to eat alot
> of junk food when I was
> around my parents. Now I try to make healthier
> choices.
> I was happily surprised to find (when I visited my
> doc last week) that I
> have lost about 6 pounds in 4 weeks. Slow & steady,
> without suffering and
> without effort. So this new way of dealing with
> food is working for me as
> well.
>
> Zan
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: meghanfire
> To: [email protected]
> Sent: Sunday, August 11, 2002 11:13 PM
> Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Food (was Hawaii Theme
> Back to School Party)
>
>
> We have the same thing going on here. We've got a
> full carton of
> ice cream, chocolate raisins and a 1/4 pack of Oreos
> (that I will
> have to throw away because they're probably stale by
> now!).
> Today we had instant pudding for the first time and
> Tamzin had a
> few bites and didn't want anymore because it was too
> sweet
> <g>. I truly believe that if you don't restrict
> food choices they will
> eat a balanced and overall a healthy diet.
> I also believe that you don't necessarily have to
> get all your
> nutrients in one day. I think that if your kid eats
> nothing but french
> bread with butter on it for a day and then eats
> loads of fruit the
> next day (as Tamzin did a few days ago at my mom's
> house
> <g>), then it all evens out in the body in the long
> run. I don't know
> if I'm making any sense about this to anyone, I'm
> having a hard
> time explaining it somehow.
> I know, from two different friend's experiences,
> that you have to
> allow time to de-food (just like de-schooling) if
> kids have been
> used to having food controlled.
>
> Meghan
>
>
>
>
>


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[email protected]

In a message dated 8/11/02 10:55:46 PM, zanhawk@... writes:

<< I was happily surprised to find (when I visited my doc last week) that I
have lost about 6 pounds in 4 weeks. Slow & steady, without suffering and
without effort. So this new way of dealing with food is working for me as
well.

Zan
>>

Zan! That's so cool!

I enjoyed your whole success-reporting post.

My husband used to eat after the kids. He would always finish their plates,
if we were at a restaurant or at home. We discussed it several times, and he
was agitated about "food going to waste." He's the kind of guy whose mom
shames him about his weight constantly, and she blamed me (when I was still
paying attention to her, years ago) for having whole milk and real butter in
the house. She has starved her own husband down to skinniness, and he IS 80,
so she MUST be right.

So I discussed with Keith that if ALL the food passes through a person and
causes health problems, or just fattens them up unnecessarily, that's more
wasteful than giving it to the dog (who also needs to eat) or putting it in
the compost pile (which also needs fibrous input).

And finally he calmed down about "waste." He was used to every morsel being
consumed at his house, but he had two older and also-big brothers, and the
mom liked to try to starve them all with controlled access, timed meals, and
small portions.

So? They got jobs and ate out in addition to eating at home. They sneaked
food. They hung around other houses and ate there. Her "control" was an
illusion. Their disdain for her was pretty real, though.

Sandra

Jamie Lemon

From: Sharon Rudd
Woo Hoo!! Good for you....what do you tell your
Mother, now? Is she worried,concerned, obsessed..?
Sharon of the Swamp>>>>>>>

I try not to tell my mother anything. Our conversations are very one-sided.
I could fill a book with all the things my parents don't know about me.
They do know about and support our decision to homeschool, but they know
nothing about unschooling. I learned a long time ago the best way to deal
with my parents is to tell them as little as possible. That way they can
think what they want and be happy with it.

Sorry if I sound a little bitter about my folks. It has been a long hard
road. I am a "good" daughter and their most loyal and forgiving child.
Zan

Nancy Wooton

on 8/12/02 6:40 AM, SandraDodd@... at SandraDodd@... wrote:

> And finally he calmed down about "waste." He was used to every morsel being
> consumed at his house, but he had two older and also-big brothers, and the
> mom liked to try to starve them all with controlled access, timed meals, and
> small portions.
>
My mom, a life-long size 8 who always thinks she's fat, put a plaque it's
"It's better to waste than to waist" on the fridge.

> So? They got jobs and ate out in addition to eating at home. They sneaked
> food. They hung around other houses and ate there. Her "control" was an
> illusion. Their disdain for her was pretty real, though.

My son's best friend is a fat kid with super-controlling parents (both are
teachers, hmm...). Neither parent is obese, but both kids are. The parents
load the plates with food, demand they clean them, then send the kids to fat
camp. They think I'm awful, because my kids have NEVER had to clean a
plate, and as yet, neither has eaten a vegetable or a fruit. (They're 12
and 15, btw.) They drink orange and white grape juice, though.

A couple of things influenced my decision to let them eat as they please.
One was my pediatrician, who, when I asked about forcing 3-y.o. Laura to eat
*everything,* (dh was channeling mil's criticism for her :-P ), dear
pediatrician pointed out that forcing creates more problems than missing the
particular food. He noted that she was growing, was perfectly healthy, and
if it made ME feel better, I could slip some spinach in a lasagna once in
awhile. I hate spinach lasagna, so that wasn't going to happen <g>

I later found a book called "Let Them Eat Cake," written a few years ago by
some M.D.'s, which is about this very topic. Nothing like having experts
back you up when you're an insecure mom with bozos trying to tell you how to
live.

Nancy

Jamie Lemon

Sandra, it sounds like your husband's mother and my mother come from the
same mold!

From: SandraDodd@...
<<<So I discussed with Keith that if ALL the food passes through a person
and
causes health problems, or just fattens them up unnecessarily, that's more
wasteful than giving it to the dog (who also needs to eat) or putting it in
the compost pile (which also needs fibrous input).>>>>

This reminds me. Ever since we started De-fooding, our dog (who was
underweight) has now reached a healthy weight. I tend to still cook as if
we were all starving at meal times, so we always have left overs now, and
the dog is very happy about that!
Zan

Tia Leschke

>
>My husband used to eat after the kids. He would always finish their plates,
>if we were at a restaurant or at home. We discussed it several times, and he
>was agitated about "food going to waste."

I try to think of it as either going to waste or to waist, neither one
particularly desirable. Sometimes it works for me. <g>
Tia

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island

Sharon Rudd

and he
> was agitated about "food going to waste."

I still feel twinges in this department. It is
essential to me that all the critters get appropriate
treats from the left-overs. I can't just throw it all
in the compost....and NEVER in the trash. No food in
the trash. Can't do it.

When the older boys were little and had little boy
spills, I would selfishly cry at night (feeling sorr
for myself) becuase I couldn't have coffee and
half/half becuase what they had spilled needed
replacing. Even then, though, the critters got the
spilled or spoiled things. Just couldn't waste food.

Sharon of the Swamp

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Sharon Rudd

---
> Sorry if I sound a little bitter about my folks. It
> has been a long hard
> road. I am a "good" daughter and their most loyal
> and forgiving child.

Goodness don't apologize. Anybody would feel bad, even
bitter. It'll wear off. Your own life and children
will just naturally replace those bad parenting
memories with new parenting experiences.

Sharon of the Swamp

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Nanci Kuykendall

>I try not to tell my mother anything. Our
>conversations are very one-sided. I could fill a
>book with all the things my parents don't know about
>me.
>They do know about and support our decision to
>homeschool, but they know nothing about unschooling.
>I learned a long time ago the best way to deal with
>my parents is to tell them as little as possible.
>That way they can think what they want and be happy
>with it.
>Zan

Well, I could have written this post. I don't
remember you living at our house, but there were a lot
of kids grown and in college when I was around. Were
you one of those? ;-D

Nanci K.

[email protected]

Left over food? No problem............we just toss it to the chickens; they
eat anything! :-)

[email protected]

---------- GSmith8995@... writes:

>>Left over food? No problem............we just toss it to the chickens; they
eat anything! :-) <<<

Yup. Except citrus, at least in the case of our chickens.

We're visiting my dad in Tucson, and it's just so weird to throw all this stuff in the garbage, or put it down the disposal. I do feed some to the dogs, but with the Dog Who Barfs Easily and the Dog Who Needs to Lose Weight, it gets hard...

Dar