kid sleeping arrangements
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/30/02 10:28:41 PM, lisa@... writes:
<< Can't sleep with him in my bed though. Tiffany and Mariah sleep there
with me, but I'll invite him to camp out on the floor, or put the baby on the
futon for as long as she'll sleep there and have him in bed. >>
Maybe you could lie down with him in his bed until he goes to sleep, or let
the girls sleep on one side and him on the other?
If everyone's sleeping with you except him, that could be part of the deal.
I know Kirby missed sleeping next to me when Holly was born. We got a two
down and one on top bunk bed, but he was still on the top by himself. I
didn't have a good solution, but it wasn't good for him OR me or our
relationship for him to be eliminated.
Once when Marty was a baby and nursing and I was sleeping between them Kirby
(3) said, "Why does Marty get the soft side of you all the time and I get the
hard bony side?"
Would he have any interest in sleeping with his dad?
Sandra
<< Can't sleep with him in my bed though. Tiffany and Mariah sleep there
with me, but I'll invite him to camp out on the floor, or put the baby on the
futon for as long as she'll sleep there and have him in bed. >>
Maybe you could lie down with him in his bed until he goes to sleep, or let
the girls sleep on one side and him on the other?
If everyone's sleeping with you except him, that could be part of the deal.
I know Kirby missed sleeping next to me when Holly was born. We got a two
down and one on top bunk bed, but he was still on the top by himself. I
didn't have a good solution, but it wasn't good for him OR me or our
relationship for him to be eliminated.
Once when Marty was a baby and nursing and I was sleeping between them Kirby
(3) said, "Why does Marty get the soft side of you all the time and I get the
hard bony side?"
Would he have any interest in sleeping with his dad?
Sandra
Lisa Breger
<<If everyone's sleeping with you except him, that could be part of the deal>>
Nope, got one more, Shaina 10 years old, who sleeps in her own room next door to him. My husband used to sleep in Adam's room, but does not anymore.
When Adam was born, we all slept cross wise in a king sized bed. Adam first, against the headboard, them me, then Shaina and Tiffany. My feet hung off, but those are great memories!
I want a bed like the one in the movie Arthur!
I love what Kirby said about your soft and bony sides! Very cute, but it also points out that as parents, as hard as we try to do our best, sometimes it is not enough. Or the child is perceiving it differently.
Lisa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Nope, got one more, Shaina 10 years old, who sleeps in her own room next door to him. My husband used to sleep in Adam's room, but does not anymore.
When Adam was born, we all slept cross wise in a king sized bed. Adam first, against the headboard, them me, then Shaina and Tiffany. My feet hung off, but those are great memories!
I want a bed like the one in the movie Arthur!
I love what Kirby said about your soft and bony sides! Very cute, but it also points out that as parents, as hard as we try to do our best, sometimes it is not enough. Or the child is perceiving it differently.
Lisa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tia Leschke
>Gee, I wouldn't mind having a hard bony side. <g> *All* of me is the soft
>Once when Marty was a baby and nursing and I was sleeping between them Kirby
>(3) said, "Why does Marty get the soft side of you all the time and I get the
>hard bony side?"
side.
Tia
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/31/02 9:15:28 AM, leschke@... writes:
<< Gee, I wouldn't mind having a hard bony side. <g> *All* of me is the
soft
side. >>
Me too nowadays. I picked up the belt/sash from my wedding dress the other
day. It wasn't with the rest of the dress. I made the mistake of holding it
up to my waist. eeeyew. I'm not wedding-dress size anymore for sure!!!
Sandra
<< Gee, I wouldn't mind having a hard bony side. <g> *All* of me is the
soft
side. >>
Me too nowadays. I picked up the belt/sash from my wedding dress the other
day. It wasn't with the rest of the dress. I made the mistake of holding it
up to my waist. eeeyew. I'm not wedding-dress size anymore for sure!!!
Sandra
Jamie Lemon
<<Lisa Breger wrote:
I want a bed like the one in the movie Arthur!>>
Me too! I love BIG beds. A few years ago I attempted to design a homemade
bed that would fill a whole room, with lots of pillows. I never got it
completely worked out tho.
During the first few years of marriage we lived in 1 bedroom apartments.
When Max was born and Sam was 3yo we had a double bed, a cradle, and a
toddler bed side by side in a very small room. We actually had to step over
the corner of the double bed to get to the bathroom. All the beds were
close to the floor so when I needed to breastfeed max I just rolled over and
lifted him into our bed. This was great because I had a c-section and
getting up and down in the bed really hurt at first. When we tell the kids
how we used to live when they were young they cannot believe it.
Now we have a 4 bedroom townhome. Max sometimes will sleep on our bedroom
floor if he wants to. Sam likes her space and always sleeps in her room.
We have a king size bed now, very comfy. But our very large dog sleeps with
us and once he is asleep no one but me can make him move. So hubby gets
frustrated about that sometimes. He's been known to say "It's either me or
the dog!" hahaha Then the dog gets the floor. :-)
Zan
I want a bed like the one in the movie Arthur!>>
Me too! I love BIG beds. A few years ago I attempted to design a homemade
bed that would fill a whole room, with lots of pillows. I never got it
completely worked out tho.
During the first few years of marriage we lived in 1 bedroom apartments.
When Max was born and Sam was 3yo we had a double bed, a cradle, and a
toddler bed side by side in a very small room. We actually had to step over
the corner of the double bed to get to the bathroom. All the beds were
close to the floor so when I needed to breastfeed max I just rolled over and
lifted him into our bed. This was great because I had a c-section and
getting up and down in the bed really hurt at first. When we tell the kids
how we used to live when they were young they cannot believe it.
Now we have a 4 bedroom townhome. Max sometimes will sleep on our bedroom
floor if he wants to. Sam likes her space and always sleeps in her room.
We have a king size bed now, very comfy. But our very large dog sleeps with
us and once he is asleep no one but me can make him move. So hubby gets
frustrated about that sometimes. He's been known to say "It's either me or
the dog!" hahaha Then the dog gets the floor. :-)
Zan
Shyrley
Tutoring Gives Pupils an Edge . . . for Preschool
July 31, 2002
By MAREK FUCHS
Sophie Spencer, 5 and headed to kindergarten in the fall,
has a tutor.
Sophie does not need remedial work, which involves catching
up or addressing learning disabilities and is the more
traditional form of tutoring for a child her age.
But she had shown great interest in reading and writing,
and her mother, Suzanne Spencer, who lives in East Hampton,
N.Y., thought that an hour a week with a reading specialist
would help Sophie along her way.
Aiming to give their young children a jump-start on their
academic experience, parents are having them work with
private tutors. The goal is to have the children enter
school with a toehold on reading.
Such private tutoring, which costs $75 to $150 an hour, is
a cottage industry, with many tutors working on their own,
so there are no accurate industry numbers. But educators,
tutors and parents in well-to-do areas say the trend is
growing.
"Nonremedial tutoring for children entering school is a
relatively new phenomenon," said Arthur Levine, the
president of Teachers College at Columbia University, "but
like every type of tutoring, it is growing. Anything
parents can do to give their children an edge, they are
interested in."
The trend is especially strong in Manhattan, Dr. Levine
said, where the private school application process is so
competitive. "Once upon a time, parents prepared their
children for the best university," he said. "Now they
prepare them for the best preschool."
But such tutoring elicits sharp divisions on the questions
of whether it is effective or appropriate. One side
contends it is no different from sending a child to a
gymnastics class to learn to do a handspring, and at the
very least can do no harm. The other side sees it as
emblematic of a society that seems to be putting undue
pressure on children even as it farms out parental duties.
For Mrs. Spencer, Sophie's tutoring has been a success.
Sophie's tutor is her former nursery school teacher, who is
also a reading specialist. Mrs. Spencer said that she and
her husband still read to Sophie and that the arrangement
had not put undue pressure on her.
"I wouldn't want to put her in a class every day," said
Mrs. Spencer, adding that in the summer, an hour a week was
plenty of time "to supplement what I'm doing with her and
encourage her."
In Chappaqua, N.Y., Linda Silbert runs the Strong Learning
Center, a private tutoring business, which focuses mainly
on remedial tutoring but also does nonremedial work. It
charges $75 an hour for instruction in its offices and $85
if the tutor travels to the child's house. Dr. Silbert said
that nonremedial tutoring could be helpful in two
particular circumstances. When a child has advanced reading
skills, a private tutor can help tailor a challenging
program that keeps the student interested in reading. "We
have a 5-year-old student who is reading on a fourth-grade
level, but with such a higher cognitive level, was bored in
school," she said. "We were able to put together a program
for her, and it's hard for a child like that to reach their
optimal level unless you have one-on-one tutoring."
Dr. Silbert also said that many parents were drawn to early
tutoring to pick up signs of problems. If a young child is
taught under close supervision, potential problems can be
identified and dealt with, which could head off larger ones
or a loss of confidence once school starts, she said.
Sarah Chamlin tutors privately in Manhattan and Westchester
County. She frequently receives calls inquiring about
nonremedial tutoring for prekindergartners. But if there
are no disabilities involved, she does not take the work.
"The impetus," she said, "comes from so many parents being
so concerned about getting kids ready for high-powered
systems. They say, `What does it mean that my child is not
reading? I know that there are others out there who are.' "
But, she added, such tutoring "is a waste, even if it's
done in a quote unquote fun way."
For one thing, she said, there is a stigma attached to
receiving summer tutoring that all children, even young
ones, can feel. "Even if you say, `Mrs. J is coming over
and you will have so much fun reading,' kids know what's
going on," she said. "They say, `Oh my God, what's wrong
with me? Why do I have to go to a tutor in the summer?
Billy isn't going.' It's very hard for kids who need
tutoring to come to terms with it, let alone those who
don't." If remedial tutoring is needed later in the child's
academic career, "it can be complete burnout by then," she
said.
Some parents, Mrs. Chamlin said, look to early tutoring to
compensate for the hours they spend at work.
"Working parents might not feel that they can give their
children what a tutor can," she said. "But, in fact, they
can. All you need is 20 minutes, a half-hour a day to read
to a child, and that will get them reading."
But Mark Pingitore, the director of the Tompkins Square
Middle School on the Lower East Side, said that private
tutoring might give children an advantage, as well as send
a beneficial message. "It can show them," he said "that the
parents value education."
Pam Wershba-Gershan, the lower school psychologist at the
Little Red Schoolhouse in Greenwich Village, said that
nonremedial tutoring was not something she would
particularly recommend, especially if it came at the
expense of recreation. That is not to say it does not work,
she added. Such tutoring could help by providing a
structure for children to explore literature, words and
print. As they become ready to read, she said, the children
are likely to jump into the structure and thrive.
Mrs. Spencer also sees an advantage in the fact that her
daughter "is hearing she's doing really well from someone
who is not a parent." This summer's tutoring has even
expanded into math, which she said Sophie was enjoying too.
If, in the fall, Sophie already knows what is being taught,
she can involve herself in something else in the classroom,
Mrs. Spencer said. And even if the school's reading
strategy does not suit Sophie's learning style, she will
still have the skills in hand.
Referring to the debate over such approaches to reading as
whole language and phonics, David Leonard, the associate
director of the Child Development Institute at Sarah
Lawrence College in Yonkers, said: "The reading wars have
given some parents battle fatigue. They are anxious and
confused about what is happening in the schools with these
literacy fads that come and go."
If this is the case, he said, "and they can find a tutoring
program that approaches reading in a way they like, then
I'm probably in the camp that it can do no harm."
That said, Mr. Leonard added that some parents had been
affected by the fact that the reading wars had created a
more complicated, and commercially competitive, sense of
what it takes to learn reading.
"On television," he said, "we see beaming actors who play
parents say that their 3 1/2-year-old reads four books a
day, thanks to this method or that. It's put a lot of
parents under constant pressure."
"It makes the parent feel better," he added, "to be able to
say, my child is getting tutoring so that they can read so
many words in 10 minutes or so many books, rather than have
to say that their child seems to enjoy thumbing through
books and they're pretty sure that their reading ability
will sort of come together."
To allay the pressure parents feel, Mrs. Chamlin tells
parents who call for prekindergarten tutoring that, from
what she sees, 90 percent of the children will be reading
by the end of the school year. "If not," she tells them,
"then call me."
And Mr. Leonard said there were no substitutes for the old
standbys: imaginative play, drawing, storytelling and the
endless reading of books on the couch and before bedtime.
He has two daughters and between them, he said, they did
not receive "30 seconds of nonremedial tutoring." But they
both grew into avid readers.
"I just figured that if it was a good enough method for
Thomas Jefferson, it was good enough for my daughters," he
said.
http://www.nytimes.com/2002/07/31/education/31TUTO.html?ex=10
29133363&ei=1
&en=dc58565781fce1b2
I think, therefore I am dangerous.
July 31, 2002
By MAREK FUCHS
Sophie Spencer, 5 and headed to kindergarten in the fall,
has a tutor.
Sophie does not need remedial work, which involves catching
up or addressing learning disabilities and is the more
traditional form of tutoring for a child her age.
But she had shown great interest in reading and writing,
and her mother, Suzanne Spencer, who lives in East Hampton,
N.Y., thought that an hour a week with a reading specialist
would help Sophie along her way.
Aiming to give their young children a jump-start on their
academic experience, parents are having them work with
private tutors. The goal is to have the children enter
school with a toehold on reading.
Such private tutoring, which costs $75 to $150 an hour, is
a cottage industry, with many tutors working on their own,
so there are no accurate industry numbers. But educators,
tutors and parents in well-to-do areas say the trend is
growing.
"Nonremedial tutoring for children entering school is a
relatively new phenomenon," said Arthur Levine, the
president of Teachers College at Columbia University, "but
like every type of tutoring, it is growing. Anything
parents can do to give their children an edge, they are
interested in."
The trend is especially strong in Manhattan, Dr. Levine
said, where the private school application process is so
competitive. "Once upon a time, parents prepared their
children for the best university," he said. "Now they
prepare them for the best preschool."
But such tutoring elicits sharp divisions on the questions
of whether it is effective or appropriate. One side
contends it is no different from sending a child to a
gymnastics class to learn to do a handspring, and at the
very least can do no harm. The other side sees it as
emblematic of a society that seems to be putting undue
pressure on children even as it farms out parental duties.
For Mrs. Spencer, Sophie's tutoring has been a success.
Sophie's tutor is her former nursery school teacher, who is
also a reading specialist. Mrs. Spencer said that she and
her husband still read to Sophie and that the arrangement
had not put undue pressure on her.
"I wouldn't want to put her in a class every day," said
Mrs. Spencer, adding that in the summer, an hour a week was
plenty of time "to supplement what I'm doing with her and
encourage her."
In Chappaqua, N.Y., Linda Silbert runs the Strong Learning
Center, a private tutoring business, which focuses mainly
on remedial tutoring but also does nonremedial work. It
charges $75 an hour for instruction in its offices and $85
if the tutor travels to the child's house. Dr. Silbert said
that nonremedial tutoring could be helpful in two
particular circumstances. When a child has advanced reading
skills, a private tutor can help tailor a challenging
program that keeps the student interested in reading. "We
have a 5-year-old student who is reading on a fourth-grade
level, but with such a higher cognitive level, was bored in
school," she said. "We were able to put together a program
for her, and it's hard for a child like that to reach their
optimal level unless you have one-on-one tutoring."
Dr. Silbert also said that many parents were drawn to early
tutoring to pick up signs of problems. If a young child is
taught under close supervision, potential problems can be
identified and dealt with, which could head off larger ones
or a loss of confidence once school starts, she said.
Sarah Chamlin tutors privately in Manhattan and Westchester
County. She frequently receives calls inquiring about
nonremedial tutoring for prekindergartners. But if there
are no disabilities involved, she does not take the work.
"The impetus," she said, "comes from so many parents being
so concerned about getting kids ready for high-powered
systems. They say, `What does it mean that my child is not
reading? I know that there are others out there who are.' "
But, she added, such tutoring "is a waste, even if it's
done in a quote unquote fun way."
For one thing, she said, there is a stigma attached to
receiving summer tutoring that all children, even young
ones, can feel. "Even if you say, `Mrs. J is coming over
and you will have so much fun reading,' kids know what's
going on," she said. "They say, `Oh my God, what's wrong
with me? Why do I have to go to a tutor in the summer?
Billy isn't going.' It's very hard for kids who need
tutoring to come to terms with it, let alone those who
don't." If remedial tutoring is needed later in the child's
academic career, "it can be complete burnout by then," she
said.
Some parents, Mrs. Chamlin said, look to early tutoring to
compensate for the hours they spend at work.
"Working parents might not feel that they can give their
children what a tutor can," she said. "But, in fact, they
can. All you need is 20 minutes, a half-hour a day to read
to a child, and that will get them reading."
But Mark Pingitore, the director of the Tompkins Square
Middle School on the Lower East Side, said that private
tutoring might give children an advantage, as well as send
a beneficial message. "It can show them," he said "that the
parents value education."
Pam Wershba-Gershan, the lower school psychologist at the
Little Red Schoolhouse in Greenwich Village, said that
nonremedial tutoring was not something she would
particularly recommend, especially if it came at the
expense of recreation. That is not to say it does not work,
she added. Such tutoring could help by providing a
structure for children to explore literature, words and
print. As they become ready to read, she said, the children
are likely to jump into the structure and thrive.
Mrs. Spencer also sees an advantage in the fact that her
daughter "is hearing she's doing really well from someone
who is not a parent." This summer's tutoring has even
expanded into math, which she said Sophie was enjoying too.
If, in the fall, Sophie already knows what is being taught,
she can involve herself in something else in the classroom,
Mrs. Spencer said. And even if the school's reading
strategy does not suit Sophie's learning style, she will
still have the skills in hand.
Referring to the debate over such approaches to reading as
whole language and phonics, David Leonard, the associate
director of the Child Development Institute at Sarah
Lawrence College in Yonkers, said: "The reading wars have
given some parents battle fatigue. They are anxious and
confused about what is happening in the schools with these
literacy fads that come and go."
If this is the case, he said, "and they can find a tutoring
program that approaches reading in a way they like, then
I'm probably in the camp that it can do no harm."
That said, Mr. Leonard added that some parents had been
affected by the fact that the reading wars had created a
more complicated, and commercially competitive, sense of
what it takes to learn reading.
"On television," he said, "we see beaming actors who play
parents say that their 3 1/2-year-old reads four books a
day, thanks to this method or that. It's put a lot of
parents under constant pressure."
"It makes the parent feel better," he added, "to be able to
say, my child is getting tutoring so that they can read so
many words in 10 minutes or so many books, rather than have
to say that their child seems to enjoy thumbing through
books and they're pretty sure that their reading ability
will sort of come together."
To allay the pressure parents feel, Mrs. Chamlin tells
parents who call for prekindergarten tutoring that, from
what she sees, 90 percent of the children will be reading
by the end of the school year. "If not," she tells them,
"then call me."
And Mr. Leonard said there were no substitutes for the old
standbys: imaginative play, drawing, storytelling and the
endless reading of books on the couch and before bedtime.
He has two daughters and between them, he said, they did
not receive "30 seconds of nonremedial tutoring." But they
both grew into avid readers.
"I just figured that if it was a good enough method for
Thomas Jefferson, it was good enough for my daughters," he
said.
http://www.nytimes.com/2002/07/31/education/31TUTO.html?ex=10
29133363&ei=1
&en=dc58565781fce1b2
I think, therefore I am dangerous.