kayb85

I know controlling food has been discussed before, but I was
wondering if anyone would be willing to discuss it again. We are
about to begin a new experiment in our house, and I'm kind of anxious
about it. My biggest fear is that my little ones won't get the
nutrition they need. My kids are ages 9, 5, and 3.

What we're going to do is take dh's paycheck, subtract all necessary
expenses (taxes,utilities, etc.). We're not subtracting groceries
from that amount except for a small amount to allow me to shop at a
bargain store to stock up on really good deals. The rest of the
money is going to be divided by the 5 of us. Everyone can go
shopping for their own food. Whatever money they have left at the
end of the month is theirs to spend on whatever. Everyone is going
to rotate preparing a meal for everyone else, paid for by their
funds. It can be a lasagna dinner or it can be bread and butter. If
someone doesn't want to eat someone else's meal they can make their
own. If someone wants to skimp on food in order to save more of
their moeny for something else, they can. Each person is going to
get enough money that they can easily buy all their own food plus
have some spending money left over. People can agree together and
put their money together to buy bigger things if they want to, or
they can spend it on junk.

Of course I'll help the kids figure out their own money and help
anyone who needs it to prepare their meals.

My two big hopes are that I'll eliminate the whining for expensive
cereals at the grocery store and that they will eventually choose to
eat their own fruits and veggies without me making them. Any
opionions on this experiment? Is it a good idea?

But what if they never choose to eat fruits and veggies. Will they
grow up healthy?

[email protected]

In a message dated 7/31/02 8:04:20 AM, sheran@... writes:

<< My two big hopes are that I'll eliminate the whining for expensive
cereals at the grocery store and that they will eventually choose to
eat their own fruits and veggies without me making them. Any
opionions on this experiment? Is it a good idea? >>

I think it's a terrible idea, logistically, financially, socially,
emotionally...

I think it's doomed to failure and you should cancel it right away.

<<But what if they never choose to eat fruits and veggies. Will they
grow up healthy? >>

No. And if fruit and veggies have to come out of their part of the budget
they probably won't buy any.

That plan doesn't even work with three adult roommates who can read and do
math and who have ideas about nutrition.

There have to be some basics in a house. Bread. Milk. Juice.
And staples: flour, sugar, rice, salt, vanilla
And spices are expensive. Whose budget does cinnamon come under?

<<The rest of the
money is going to be divided by the 5 of us. Everyone can go
shopping for their own food. Whatever money they have left at the
end of the month is theirs to spend on whatever. >>

NO, no no no no, that's not going to work.

Buy food you think everyone will like. Buy fruit and make it easily
available. Let them pick some foods even if they're expensive cereals. Let
them have choices, let them help decide about ingredients and menus and let
them eat between meals. Help them make sandwiches. But don't try to make a
little kid budget money and feel hungry or guilty. Eliminating hunger and
guilt is one of the best advantages to loosening up food "rules," but your
proposed experiment will end up being ALL about hunger, guilt, embarrassment,
and failure.

Sandra

Shyrley

On 31 Jul 02, at 14:03, kayb85 wrote:

> I know controlling food has been discussed before, but I was
> wondering if anyone would be willing to discuss it again. We are
> about to begin a new experiment in our house, and I'm kind of anxious
> about it. My biggest fear is that my little ones won't get the
> nutrition they need. My kids are ages 9, 5, and 3.
>
Snipped

I think it sounds agood idea in theory but could lead to all sorts of
problems in reality.
My brood (10, 8 and 7) shop with me and we choose food together.
While I encourage them to eat healthily (we're veggie) I'm not strict
and controlling as I think that leads to issues about food. This is
why they have nuttella (yuck) on organic wholemeal bread for
breakfast.
Actually I just remebered I do exert some control. I don't allow
artificial colours and preservatives cos all 3 react really badly to
them.
They will all eat fruit but only if I prepare it first - If I asked them do
they want a banana they would probably decline but if I prepare a
big plate of chopped up apple, banana, strawberries etc and plonk
it down next to the computer where they are always to be found, 5
mins later the whole lot is gone :-) We also see outside and eat
cherries and watermelon and see how far we can spit the seeds.

Once a month we buy an assortment of veggies and fruits that are
unuasual and taste test them. Because it is fun they are willing to
try.

BUT its not easy. Some days I feel like tearing my hair out when
one announces that they no longer like something they used too.
Aargh.

Shyrley


I think, therefore I am dangerous.

Pam Hartley

My two big hopes are that I'll eliminate the whining for expensive
cereals at the grocery store and that they will eventually choose to
eat their own fruits and veggies without me making them. Any
opionions on this experiment? Is it a good idea?
----------

I think it's a really bad idea, but Sandra has already taken up all the good
reasons so all I can do is wave my arms around foolishly. <g>

You can eliminate the whining at grocery stores by not taking them with you.
;) Of course, even my 4 year old knows to tell me, "put M&Ms on the shopping
list". <g> But seriously, if they have to go to the trouble to remember to
tell you to put it on the list, it's not the same as impulse buying in the
store and "spotting" 2000 brightly colored packages, all of which they want,
in the sensory overload of the grocery store.



----------
But what if they never choose to eat fruits and veggies. Will they
grow up healthy?
----------

My four year old (who will be 5 in October) eats no fruit or vegetable that
is close to its original self -- she'll eat pizza, which contains tomatoes
in sauce. She'll eat fruit rolls, "made with 10% real fruit!" A few more
things along those lines. She survives on Bagel Bites (there's that tomato
sauce again), bread and butter, and various meat and dairy products. In one
of my few eating-coercive moves (in fact, the only one I can think of <g>) I
give her a multi-vitamin every day.

Her sister likes some fruits but not veggies (except for huge green salads),
and gets the same vitamin.

Both appear to be healthy as horses. Nice teeth, strong bones, don't seem to
catch colds and flus more easily than the average child, run all day, plenty
of lungpower for shrieking out "Charmander, I Choose YOU!" in Pokemon games,
etc.

They do eat some "junk" (candy, etc.) but it's not a huge priority with
them. They don't gulp down candy the second it comes home, and we always
have it available. It's more an absence of fruits and vegetables in their
standard forms, and I expect they'll choose them more as they get older -- I
did.

Pam

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

> << My two big hopes are that I'll eliminate the whining for expensive
> cereals at the grocery store and that they will eventually choose to
> eat their own fruits and veggies without me making them. Any
> opionions on this experiment? Is it a good idea? >>


They aren't old enough for this.

Just be sensitive to their likes and dislikes - while being flexible so that
they aren't forever locked into "I don't like peanut butter" just because for
a few months when they were 5 they didn't like it.

Let them pick out some stuff - you pick out the stuff you want them to eat
and have it there and convenient. Don't make them eat anything - just have it
ready and easily available, they'll eat it when they're hungry.

Those bags of already peeled little baby carrots have been great for us -
cool and crunchy and just need a bag opened - no peeling, etc. Lazy? Yeah-
but my kids and I now eat a LOT of carrots. They're apparently especially
good with some ranch dressing.

Fruit and sliced cheese are always easily available. And rice cakes.
I buy the frozen Amy's burritos - they seem a bit expensive - but they are
very nutritious and filling and beat the heck out of a quick trip for
fastfood.

I do the shopping - I buy the groceries. There is a white board on the
refrigerator and sometimes someone writes on there: "GRAPES" or "BLUEBERRY
MORNING CEREAL." I do if they are in season, reasonably priced, on sale or
whatever. Otherwise I tell them why I didn't buy it and what I got instead.

As I walk out the door to go shopping I always ask, "Does anybody want
anything at the grocery store?" Sometimes I even call home from the grocery
store and doublecheck something. It isn't like I'm not being responsive --
but I'm the one who sees the big picture about food. I'm the one who knows we
need stuff that we can prepare really quickly on Tuesday and Thursdays
because we're busy on those days and that we need stuff to take to the park
on Wednesdays and so on. I don't think the kids need to start doing that
kind of "meta-thinking" that their parents do - let them live "in the moment"
as they usually do.

My kids didn't do a lot of unreasonable begging for things in the grocery
stores. I always buy what they ask for - seldom say no - and only if I really
do have a good reason. I think that was because, when they were really
little, we'd walk in the door with them knowing that they could pick out
something special. I never made a big deal out of it being ONE thing special
- never really thought about it that much - it was just fun - as we walked up
to the door I'd say, "Okay - so what really special thing are you going to
get today?" They'd spend the time choosing between different things - to
figure out what the special thing was going to be -- cookies or ice cream or
whatever. I guess if they wanted something more I probably said things like,
"Hey - that can be your special thing next time" or something like that. This
was when they were really little - like under five. After that I just don't
remember - it was not a problem. I don't usually take them now unless they
really want to go - they all have a tendency to TALK my ear off while I'm
trying to shop and I always forget something important - even with a list (I
just somehow don't see it on the list). If they really want to go - then I
figure it is because they want to spend time alone with me - so then I'm GLAD
to do that - how cool is it when our kids WANT to hang out with us, even when
we're just grocery shopping -- that's NICE!

I'd concentrate on having enticing and reasonably healthy stuff easily
available. And maybe finding a way to go grocery shopping without them most
of the time.

--pam

National Home Education Network
http://www.NHEN.org
Changing the Way the World Sees Homeschooling!


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Shyrley

On 31 Jul 02, at 14:03, kayb85 wrote:

> I know controlling food has been discussed before, but I was
> wondering if anyone would be willing to discuss it again. We are
> about to begin a new experiment in our house, and I'm kind of anxious
> about it. My biggest fear is that my little ones won't get the
> nutrition they need. My kids are ages 9, 5, and 3.
>
Snipped

I think it sounds agood idea in theory but could lead to all sorts of
problems in reality.
My brood (10, 8 and 7) shop with me and we choose food together.
While I encourage them to eat healthily (we're veggie) I'm not strict
and controlling as I think that leads to issues about food. This is
why they have nuttella (yuck) on organic wholemeal bread for
breakfast.
Actually I just remebered I do exert some control. I don't allow
artificial colours and preservatives cos all 3 react really badly to
them.
They will all eat fruit but only if I prepare it first - If I asked them do
they want a banana they would probably decline but if I prepare a
big plate of chopped up apple, banana, strawberries etc and plonk
it down next to the computer where they are always to be found, 5
mins later the whole lot is gone :-) We also see outside and eat
cherries and watermelon and see how far we can spit the seeds.

Once a month we buy an assortment of veggies and fruits that are
unuasual and taste test them. Because it is fun they are willing to
try.

BUT its not easy. Some days I feel like tearing my hair out when
one announces that they no longer like something they used too.
Aargh.

Shyrley


I think, therefore I am dangerous.

Jamie Lemon

I lucked out a few months ago and found a grocery store that delivers our
groceries. I make a menu every Saturday for the coming week. I go online
and order what we need (and want). I specify time and date for the delivery
and Wala! there's our grocery shopping nightmares, gone for good! I pay
$8.95 delivery fee, but it is well worth it.
After making our menu, I put it on the fridge so everyone knows what meals
are available. We take turns choosing what is for dinner or lunch that day.
Sometimes hubby and I eat food the kids hate, so we have "alternates"
avaiable for them (like sandwiches, easy mac, pizza, soup, etc). We gave up
forcing them to eat stuff they don't like and surprisingly Max, who is the
pickiest eater here, has begun trying and liking new foods on his own.

Ordering groceries has solved several problems for us....
1) the kids no longer drive me nuts while I am shopping for groceries
2) we do less impulse buying
3) we rarely eat out at a resteraunt now (this used to be our biggest budget
buster!)
4) when someone says "What's for dinner", instead of a blank stare, I can
give them the menu list hahaha
5) I cook more now and really enjoy it, we try new recipes once a week

Zan

<<<----- Original Message -----
From: Pam Hartley

You can eliminate the whining at grocery stores by not taking them with you.
;) Of course, even my 4 year old knows to tell me, "put M&Ms on the shopping
list". <g> But seriously, if they have to go to the trouble to remember to
tell you to put it on the list, it's not the same as impulse buying in the
store and "spotting" 2000 brightly colored packages, all of which they want,
in the sensory overload of the grocery store.>>>

Kate Green

I think others have already said the things I would say about this. But I
am having a hard time trying to imagine a 3-year-old (or 5 or even
9)wandering around the grocery store, wallet in hand, trying to make
judgements about what he/she should purchase to make for dinner that
evening. Heck even I have problems with that sometimes.

I think the best way to get kids eating healthily is to get them involved
in helping with buying and cooking meals. We talk about what's good for us
and why as we buy it and that helps kids understand in an appropriate
developmental way.

My 22-year-old brother was here this summer between chef jobs. He graduated
last year after a year at the Cordon Bleu in Paris. Anyway watching him
create wonderful dishes has spurred my oldest on and so this summer he has
decided he wants to become a better cook. We have had some great meals so
far and he has amazed himself at how much he already knows. That basically
came from hanging out and helping me since he has been little. He has also
been shopping for and cooking whole meals himself but ONLY since he was
about 13/14. Perhaps younger would be possible but I surely don't think 3
is fair.

Perhaps making a budget and saying we have $5 for "junk" food and you guys
decide how to split that up. Then perhaps they can start value shopping for
the cheaper cereals etc.

Kate


At 02:03 PM 7/31/02 +0000, you wrote:
> I know controlling food has been discussed before, but I was
> We are
> about to begin a new experiment in our house, and I'm kind of anxious
> My biggest fear is that my little ones won't get the
>
>
> What we're going to do is take dh's paycheck, subtract all necessary
> We're not subtracting groceries
> from that amount except for a small amount to allow me to shop at a
> The rest of the
> Everyone can go
> Whatever money they have left at the
> Everyone is going
> to rotate preparing a meal for everyone else, paid for by their
> If
> someone doesn't want to eat someone else's meal they can make their
> If someone wants to skimp on food in order to save more of
> Each person is going to
> get enough money that they can easily buy all their own food plus
> People can agree together and
> put their money together to buy bigger things if they want to, or
>
>
> Of course I'll help the kids figure out their own money and help
>
>
> My two big hopes are that I'll eliminate the whining for expensive
> cereals at the grocery store and that they will eventually choose to
> Any
>
>
> Will they
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Sponsor ADVERTISEMENT
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.

Karen

>>My two big hopes are that I'll eliminate the whining for expensive
cereals at the grocery store and that they will eventually choose to
eat their own fruits and veggies without me making them. Any
opionions on this experiment? Is it a good idea?
----------
Please don't feel picked on. I think we all know what you're wanting to do,
and it's an admirable goal, but I have to agree that this isn't the way to
achieve it. The complications boggle the mind and I can't imagine the
program lasting past the second trip to the store.

I still deal with my own food-demons from childhood, so I want to be careful
with the kids. In my case, I have a casual, hands-off approach. Breakfast is
usually up to them (6 and 11 yo) although I'll cheerfully make something if
they request it. Around midday, I'll see who's hungry and let them know
what's available; it's a joint effort. Supper I'll make, unless we've had a
big lunch, in which case it's snacktime. I keep fruits and veggies available
as much as possible, and try to have them at each meal, even if it's just a
bag of baby carrots slung on the table. For snacks, which they can have
whenever they're hungry, they choose between yogurt, pudding, fruit,
pretzels, or candy. They rarely choose the candy, and if I do come in to
find a stack of empty Hershey Kisses wrappers, I chalk it up to the
occasional chocolate attack. Heck, I have those too. Since I've adapted
this, ice cream goes bad, cookies get stale, they just don't beg for them
like they used to.

Budgeting is something that I expect will take awhile to learn (again, I'm
still learning!) and it seems dangerous somehow to tie it to food this
early.

JMO,
Karen

[email protected]

In a message dated 7/31/02 2:52:09 PM, kbmatlock@... writes:

<< Since I've adapted
this, ice cream goes bad, cookies get stale, they just don't beg for them
like they used to. >>

Me too.

I had *NO IDEA* ice cream could go bad.
When I was a kid it was so treasured and measured it was gone in no time and
no more expected until the next eat-it-all frenzy (meaning the next time it
was brought into the house.

My mom used to *count* M&Ms or grapes into four equal piles for the four
kids.

Stuff like that only made it worse.

There were two adults and four kids at our house. A dozen (donuts, or
pinwheel cookies or sodas) meant two apiece. No negotiating. Two are yours.
As an act of hostility sometimes one of the kids (never me) would save one
and consume it in a leisurely fashion right in front of the rest of us.

Sandra

mary krzyzanowski

Hi,
If you have to take the kids with you why not let them pick cereals from a
certain company or store brand only? Is there a less expensive store
nearby? Our local store is 5 minutes away, but the lower price store is
about 30 minutes. The drive is worth the price for us.
Would they be willing to each pick out a fresh fruit/vegetable to share with
the family? Canned or frozen fruits/ veggies?
Mary-NY

>From: Pam Hartley <pamhartley@...>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] "deschooling" food
>Date: Wed, 31 Jul 2002 09:23:24 -0700
>
>My two big hopes are that I'll eliminate the whining for expensive
>cereals at the grocery store and that they will eventually choose to
>eat their own fruits and veggies without me making them. Any
>opionions on this experiment? Is it a good idea?
>----------
>
>I think it's a really bad idea, but Sandra has already taken up all the
>good
>reasons so all I can do is wave my arms around foolishly. <g>
>
>You can eliminate the whining at grocery stores by not taking them with
>you.
>;) Of course, even my 4 year old knows to tell me, "put M&Ms on the
>shopping
>list". <g> But seriously, if they have to go to the trouble to remember to
>tell you to put it on the list, it's not the same as impulse buying in the
>store and "spotting" 2000 brightly colored packages, all of which they
>want,
>in the sensory overload of the grocery store.
>
>
>
>----------
>But what if they never choose to eat fruits and veggies. Will they
>grow up healthy?
>----------
>
>My four year old (who will be 5 in October) eats no fruit or vegetable that
>is close to its original self -- she'll eat pizza, which contains tomatoes
>in sauce. She'll eat fruit rolls, "made with 10% real fruit!" A few more
>things along those lines. She survives on Bagel Bites (there's that tomato
>sauce again), bread and butter, and various meat and dairy products. In one
>of my few eating-coercive moves (in fact, the only one I can think of <g>)
>I
>give her a multi-vitamin every day.
>
>Her sister likes some fruits but not veggies (except for huge green
>salads),
>and gets the same vitamin.
>
>Both appear to be healthy as horses. Nice teeth, strong bones, don't seem
>to
>catch colds and flus more easily than the average child, run all day,
>plenty
>of lungpower for shrieking out "Charmander, I Choose YOU!" in Pokemon
>games,
>etc.
>
>They do eat some "junk" (candy, etc.) but it's not a huge priority with
>them. They don't gulp down candy the second it comes home, and we always
>have it available. It's more an absence of fruits and vegetables in their
>standard forms, and I expect they'll choose them more as they get older --
>I
>did.
>
>Pam
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have

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