Gratitude and personality
Sandra Dodd
http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2016/12/26/505682977/feeling-less-than-grateful-some-people-are-just-wired-that-way
That links to an article on NPR (National Public Radio, a U.S. network)—so I’m not sure if the link will open everywhere in the world.
Feeling Less Than Grateful? Some People Are Just Wired That Way
It’s a mid-length article, by a science writer. The title is odd, in light of the article. It’s not a hard read.
Here’s what I came to say, though: nowhere in the article is the word “abundance” used. Several times I thought it might come up, but they use “gratefulness” and such.
The “experiment” (if there really is a good one behind this) seemed to involve someone coaching someone else to “feel grateful” and then seeing how much effect it had/ What it is NOT about is living in such a way tht the world seems full of interesting things, and good things, and being grateful for that feeling.
It’s an odd little article, but I’m hoping that some of you will read it and then keep it in the back of you mind for future discussion or reference. Maybe you’ll find other articles or references, or maybe have examples from your own or friends’ lives of whether people an, do, should “be more grateful.”
Whether it can be scientifically proven to help some large percentage of people or not, I know I myself feel better when I’m looking at what I DO have instead of what I DON’T have.
Sandra
That links to an article on NPR (National Public Radio, a U.S. network)—so I’m not sure if the link will open everywhere in the world.
Feeling Less Than Grateful? Some People Are Just Wired That Way
It’s a mid-length article, by a science writer. The title is odd, in light of the article. It’s not a hard read.
Here’s what I came to say, though: nowhere in the article is the word “abundance” used. Several times I thought it might come up, but they use “gratefulness” and such.
The “experiment” (if there really is a good one behind this) seemed to involve someone coaching someone else to “feel grateful” and then seeing how much effect it had/ What it is NOT about is living in such a way tht the world seems full of interesting things, and good things, and being grateful for that feeling.
It’s an odd little article, but I’m hoping that some of you will read it and then keep it in the back of you mind for future discussion or reference. Maybe you’ll find other articles or references, or maybe have examples from your own or friends’ lives of whether people an, do, should “be more grateful.”
Whether it can be scientifically proven to help some large percentage of people or not, I know I myself feel better when I’m looking at what I DO have instead of what I DON’T have.
Sandra
sukaynalabboun@...
I thought it was interesting that the article wanted to find a scientific / tangible reason for practicing gratitude which is a more spiritual or intangible thing, IMO. How can science measure or test or document faith or spirituality and long term benefits?How can test parameters encompass the various ways in which gratitude (and abundance) might lead to more peaceful homes and interactions in the mundane, daily tasks of living. Can it measure internal dialogue or making better choices?I am a little frustrated when everything needs to be backed by "science" which is itself a cultural system with beliefs and practices not unlike religious or other belief systems, and when a lack of 'scientific' backing gets people to disregard a thing that might be useful or good in some way. That last bit is a little strange, I know, but This has been a topic of interest (for me) for a long time (science as religious beliefs), culturally.I Don't Need some test results to tell me it works to be more positive and grateful, to improve my life and the lives of those around me. It's a survival mechanism in this time where cynicism and negativity are everywhere, to avoid depression and choose joy and love and light and calm. I'm grateful Sandra opened my eyes to the very real damage of too much angst and negativity in our world view, the way it can taint our personal lives and hamper our learning.I live in a place where there are over 2 million refugees, war is next door and we've been through our own recently, there are very real poverty, corruption, and infrastructure problems, power outages water cuts etc etc. I survive (thrive even!) by being mindful and grateful and embracing the good and beautiful in my everyday. My home is filled with laughter, conversations, art, music, food and joy! We make a conscious effort to seek out the joy, to be grateful, and I can see the difference between our family and most of the people around us.
Sandra Dodd
I just watched a video on Alex Polikowsky’s facebook page, and went to find it on youtube so I could share it here. It’s all philosophy, but by scientists. :-) Not long, not confusing. Soothing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56SMWe_zgac
When I started this topic, I was thinking of what links to leave before it’s done. Surely, abundance.
http://sandradodd.com/abundance
And probably wonder
http://sandradodd.com/wonder
Perhaps I should make a page on awe. :-) Or maybe it’s not needed.
At the bottom of the “wonder” page, there is a link to a very short article about a study on awe, with a link to more. Deb Lewis had found it. There are a couple of quotes on that page about awe, and a link to a chat called Wonder and Awe (and it has images and videos—it’s a good one).
Someone experiencing awe, and wonder, must be building up their feeling of abundance. There is value not only in what they own and can get to, but what they can perceive and discover and think.
Just looking for links on my site makes that article on gratitude seem lame, as it doesn’t even mention those higher levels of awareness, so near and so avaiable—abundance, wonder, awe.
Sandra
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56SMWe_zgac
When I started this topic, I was thinking of what links to leave before it’s done. Surely, abundance.
http://sandradodd.com/abundance
And probably wonder
http://sandradodd.com/wonder
Perhaps I should make a page on awe. :-) Or maybe it’s not needed.
At the bottom of the “wonder” page, there is a link to a very short article about a study on awe, with a link to more. Deb Lewis had found it. There are a couple of quotes on that page about awe, and a link to a chat called Wonder and Awe (and it has images and videos—it’s a good one).
Someone experiencing awe, and wonder, must be building up their feeling of abundance. There is value not only in what they own and can get to, but what they can perceive and discover and think.
Just looking for links on my site makes that article on gratitude seem lame, as it doesn’t even mention those higher levels of awareness, so near and so avaiable—abundance, wonder, awe.
Sandra
Sandra Dodd
Sukayna wrote this and I’m glad it builds up to “learning,” because everything in this discussion should. :-)
-=-I Don't Need some test results to tell me it works to be more positive and grateful, to improve my life and the lives of those around me. It's a survival mechanism in this time where cynicism and negativity are everywhere, to avoid depression and choose joy and love and light and calm. I'm grateful Sandra opened my eyes to the very real damage of too much angst and negativity in our world view, the way it can taint our personal lives and hamper our learning. -=-
Someone asked again this week for permission to translate The Big Book of Unschooling. I said no, again. Not “again” the same person, but another request to translate it, and the answer is always the same—every page leads to a page on my site. I don’t think the book without the links would be the same. (Maybe I’m wrong.)
Because that was fresh in my mind, though, I was thinking my thoughts and it came by for me to ask people how many thing they *HATED.* And how many things could a person HATE without that person being, literally, HATEful—full of hate. This leans toward the discussion on prejudices in this forum not too long ago. Accepting prejudices in ourselves without looking at them can keep us ourselves from seeing and thinking as clearly as we could otherwise. But HATING things… that leads to, and preserves, hatred.
Sukayna continued:
-=-I live in a place where there are over 2 million refugees, war is next door and we've been through our own recently, there are very real poverty, corruption, and infrastructure problems, power outages water cuts etc etc. I survive (thrive even!) by being mindful and grateful and embracing the good and beautiful in my everyday. My home is filled with laughter, conversations, art, music, food and joy! We make a conscious effort to seek out the joy, to be grateful, and I can see the difference between our family and most of the people around us. -=-
I live where there is fear of a slight recession (not the same level of poverty) and corruption exists but isn’t accepted. Our infrastructure is pretty strong. The postman didn’t pick the mail up from the box in front of our house yesterday, and I was kind of shocked. That just doesn’t happen. So… my bathroom sink is draining very slowly. That’s the worst problem I have right now. Yet it would be possible for me to load up with “sky-is-falling woe and to moan in public about the end of civilization as we know it, and many online friends and in-person friends and relatives would approve my wailing. They would join in. I’m not going to do that.
-=-I survive (thrive even!) by being mindful and grateful and embracing the good and beautiful in my everyday. My home is filled with laughter, conversations, art, music, food and joy! We make a conscious effort to seek out the joy, to be grateful, and I can see the difference between our family and most of the people around us. -=-
When Trump won the election and LOTS of unschooling families were flipping out, I recommended that they NOT disturb the peace of their homes, that they not frighten their children, but that they shield their children and maintain joy. Dozens of rational (I would hope) adults jumped my shit and said I was wrong (small-minded, callous, they meant, but couldn’t think of any better words than stupid or idiot or racist or whatever they had recently heard, I gues).
Negativity is contagious.
Fear is contagious.
People are gullible. That’s the point of “The Sky is Falling” (the Henny Penny, Turkey Lurkey story that probably isn’t as well known now as it was 50 or 70 years ago).
Stop and think, that story says. Be rational and sensible. Don’t believe everything you hear. Don’t run around yelling because someone else is running around yelling.
Gratitude for what is good is better than screaming about what we think might not be good.
Sandra
-=-I Don't Need some test results to tell me it works to be more positive and grateful, to improve my life and the lives of those around me. It's a survival mechanism in this time where cynicism and negativity are everywhere, to avoid depression and choose joy and love and light and calm. I'm grateful Sandra opened my eyes to the very real damage of too much angst and negativity in our world view, the way it can taint our personal lives and hamper our learning. -=-
Someone asked again this week for permission to translate The Big Book of Unschooling. I said no, again. Not “again” the same person, but another request to translate it, and the answer is always the same—every page leads to a page on my site. I don’t think the book without the links would be the same. (Maybe I’m wrong.)
Because that was fresh in my mind, though, I was thinking my thoughts and it came by for me to ask people how many thing they *HATED.* And how many things could a person HATE without that person being, literally, HATEful—full of hate. This leans toward the discussion on prejudices in this forum not too long ago. Accepting prejudices in ourselves without looking at them can keep us ourselves from seeing and thinking as clearly as we could otherwise. But HATING things… that leads to, and preserves, hatred.
Sukayna continued:
-=-I live in a place where there are over 2 million refugees, war is next door and we've been through our own recently, there are very real poverty, corruption, and infrastructure problems, power outages water cuts etc etc. I survive (thrive even!) by being mindful and grateful and embracing the good and beautiful in my everyday. My home is filled with laughter, conversations, art, music, food and joy! We make a conscious effort to seek out the joy, to be grateful, and I can see the difference between our family and most of the people around us. -=-
I live where there is fear of a slight recession (not the same level of poverty) and corruption exists but isn’t accepted. Our infrastructure is pretty strong. The postman didn’t pick the mail up from the box in front of our house yesterday, and I was kind of shocked. That just doesn’t happen. So… my bathroom sink is draining very slowly. That’s the worst problem I have right now. Yet it would be possible for me to load up with “sky-is-falling woe and to moan in public about the end of civilization as we know it, and many online friends and in-person friends and relatives would approve my wailing. They would join in. I’m not going to do that.
-=-I survive (thrive even!) by being mindful and grateful and embracing the good and beautiful in my everyday. My home is filled with laughter, conversations, art, music, food and joy! We make a conscious effort to seek out the joy, to be grateful, and I can see the difference between our family and most of the people around us. -=-
When Trump won the election and LOTS of unschooling families were flipping out, I recommended that they NOT disturb the peace of their homes, that they not frighten their children, but that they shield their children and maintain joy. Dozens of rational (I would hope) adults jumped my shit and said I was wrong (small-minded, callous, they meant, but couldn’t think of any better words than stupid or idiot or racist or whatever they had recently heard, I gues).
Negativity is contagious.
Fear is contagious.
People are gullible. That’s the point of “The Sky is Falling” (the Henny Penny, Turkey Lurkey story that probably isn’t as well known now as it was 50 or 70 years ago).
Stop and think, that story says. Be rational and sensible. Don’t believe everything you hear. Don’t run around yelling because someone else is running around yelling.
Gratitude for what is good is better than screaming about what we think might not be good.
Sandra