Sandra Dodd

I had an e-mail from someone with a five-year-old girl who is wanting to ride the bus to school. I suggested other bus rides, maybe a lunch box, as a possibility, but also mentioned that a child without a choice to go is the same as someone in school without the choice to leave.

Here's my second response (and because I don't want to do one-on-one advisement, I've brought it here so others can read and contribulte).

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-=-Would you recommend us giving our daughter a choice? -=-

You're seriously asking me that? :-)
http://sandradodd.com/choices

Without a choice, she is powerless.
Without a choice, you are controlling her.

http://sandradodd.com/control

If you really, truly, can't even consider letting her choose to go to school, then you better make your homelife SO GLORIOUS that school looks drab.
But every unschooler should do that.

I guess I better put this in public. :-)
I won't use your name.


Sandra

Joyce Fetteroll

Would you recommend us giving our daughter a choice?

I would recommend supporting her as she explores what intrigues her. Support her emotionally so she feels you'll be there if she needs you. Support her with ways to explore that are safe, respectful and doable. Support her with other, related ideas. 

"A choice" could be "Do you want to walk to your friend's house alone in the dark or stay home where it's safe?"

Choice isn't enough if the child also feels she needs to choose between being abandoned or being nurtured.

If the priority is learning, then the boundaries of learning are the child's interests. Then safety can be added on and carried wherever the child goes.

If safety -- or a parent's comfort -- is the priority, then the child's world becomes only as large as the parent's comfort and learning is confined within those boundaries.

Joyce