How do you know you're doing enough?
lisathecelt
We started Radical Unschooling about 7 months ago. I have let go of limiting food and media and my ideas of what is educational, but I still can't let go of my bouts of anxiety of over whether I am doing enough. They usually come after seeing lots of things other Radical Unschooling families are doing when I am visiting social media pages. World travels, tons of crafts and projects and board games etc..
I am not crafty and my husband and I are pretty mellow, like to hang out and chat sort of people. We hike a lot, go to the park, visit friends, go to museums, and local events, read, watch tv, work in the yard and make food.
When we are home the boys are playing minecraft while I visit them and take care of things around the house. That was our day yesterday. At the end of the day my 5 year old told me he had a really great day. Is that how you gauge it? If they are happy, are they fine? I feel like if I would have tried tempting them with projects and activities I would have been met with resistance. But when I see what other Mom's are doing I feel sort of lame. What are the signs that you are not doing/strewing enough?
Thanks,
Lisa
I am not crafty and my husband and I are pretty mellow, like to hang out and chat sort of people. We hike a lot, go to the park, visit friends, go to museums, and local events, read, watch tv, work in the yard and make food.
When we are home the boys are playing minecraft while I visit them and take care of things around the house. That was our day yesterday. At the end of the day my 5 year old told me he had a really great day. Is that how you gauge it? If they are happy, are they fine? I feel like if I would have tried tempting them with projects and activities I would have been met with resistance. But when I see what other Mom's are doing I feel sort of lame. What are the signs that you are not doing/strewing enough?
Thanks,
Lisa
Sandra Dodd
-=-At the end of the day my 5 year old told me he had a really great day. Is that how you gauge it? If they are happy, are they fine?-=-
I can't think of a better measurement, honestly.
-=-I feel like if I would have tried tempting them with projects and activities I would have been met with resistance. But when I see what other Mom's are doing I feel sort of lame. What are the signs that you are not doing/strewing enough?-=-
If you're feeling that you didn't do enough, you could do a little more. Don't aim for a lot more, though, or you might see it as a failure of your kids to be interested in your big plans.
Here are some ideas in a philosophical/principle way: http://sandradodd.com/checklists
It's not a checklist of topics. It's a way to look through a kind of template at the way you're deciding what to offer or discuss or strew or think about, maybe.
Maybe it could be movies you rent, or music you play, or food you make or snacks you buy.
You could have some variety by putting their snacks on new plates that have a story behind them, or go by a different route to a familiar place, or shop in a different grocery store.
Sometimes one small change leads (conversationally, at least) to other things.
Be willing for it not to generate interest. Be willing for there to be a little interest, and be glad if there's a lot, but try not to be disappointed if there's not a lot.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I can't think of a better measurement, honestly.
-=-I feel like if I would have tried tempting them with projects and activities I would have been met with resistance. But when I see what other Mom's are doing I feel sort of lame. What are the signs that you are not doing/strewing enough?-=-
If you're feeling that you didn't do enough, you could do a little more. Don't aim for a lot more, though, or you might see it as a failure of your kids to be interested in your big plans.
Here are some ideas in a philosophical/principle way: http://sandradodd.com/checklists
It's not a checklist of topics. It's a way to look through a kind of template at the way you're deciding what to offer or discuss or strew or think about, maybe.
Maybe it could be movies you rent, or music you play, or food you make or snacks you buy.
You could have some variety by putting their snacks on new plates that have a story behind them, or go by a different route to a familiar place, or shop in a different grocery store.
Sometimes one small change leads (conversationally, at least) to other things.
Be willing for it not to generate interest. Be willing for there to be a little interest, and be glad if there's a lot, but try not to be disappointed if there's not a lot.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
CASS KOTRBA
It sounds like we are pretty similar to you & I understand your insecurity completely but it sounds like you guys are finding your activities as satisfying as we do. We are mostly home bodies. My kids play electronic games a lot but sometimes they want a break. I found a bunch of sights online that gave me tons of ideas & inspiration for things to do during these times. Here are some: http://www.sciencekids.co.nz/experiments.html<http://www.sciencekids.co.nz/experiments.html> http://chemistry.about.com/od/demonstrationsexperiments/u/scienceprojects.htm#s10<http://chemistry.about.com/od/demonstrationsexperiments/u/scienceprojects.htm#s10> http://www.artistshelpingchildren.org/coloringpages_coloringprintouts.html<http://www.artistshelpingchildren.org/coloringpages_coloringprintouts.html> . One site leads to the next and there is no end to the inspiration. I printed out ideas that I thought we would all enjoy together like recipes for oobleck and slime, sugar crystals, etc. I have a stack of ideas here and when they get bored I have those ideas ready to suggest. We haven't gotten through too many yet but it makes me feel more interesting and prepared!
We have discovered that we also love to go to the history museum, aquarium & similar places & that's something worth leaving the house for once in awhile. In the evenings we all get into bed in the same room and watch TV together (the kids often continue with their electronic games but they will usually listen with one ear or pause/turn off their games). We love shows like the Travel Channel's "Mysteries at the Museum", "Mythbusters" or a variety of other nature or sciency type shows. The Sci Fi Channel has a great reality series called "Face Off" where the contestants compete to make the best prosthetic masks & body accessories. It is the coolest show and very inspiring/educational. "Finding Bigfoot" is another good one, Animal Planet, I think. They pick up a lot of information from their games and You Tube videos then we watch these shows together and talk. I can see the neurons firing & all the different connections they are making. It's pretty neat. I taped a couple of giant maps to the wall and have a globe next to them. My son will get up and stare at those maps sometimes. "Mom - where's Sweden? Pewdiepie is from Sweden... What does their flag look like". We are learning about the world and everything in it from the comfort of our own home. It is amazing how much information is available at your fingertips these days! It is so cool to see how they are absorbing information like sponges and making this giant web of connections from all these different sources. Watching their little faces light up in those light bulb moments & seeing them feel more confident and powerful tells me we're going the right direction!
If those social media sites are making you feel anxiety maybe you should take a break from them?
-Cass
We have discovered that we also love to go to the history museum, aquarium & similar places & that's something worth leaving the house for once in awhile. In the evenings we all get into bed in the same room and watch TV together (the kids often continue with their electronic games but they will usually listen with one ear or pause/turn off their games). We love shows like the Travel Channel's "Mysteries at the Museum", "Mythbusters" or a variety of other nature or sciency type shows. The Sci Fi Channel has a great reality series called "Face Off" where the contestants compete to make the best prosthetic masks & body accessories. It is the coolest show and very inspiring/educational. "Finding Bigfoot" is another good one, Animal Planet, I think. They pick up a lot of information from their games and You Tube videos then we watch these shows together and talk. I can see the neurons firing & all the different connections they are making. It's pretty neat. I taped a couple of giant maps to the wall and have a globe next to them. My son will get up and stare at those maps sometimes. "Mom - where's Sweden? Pewdiepie is from Sweden... What does their flag look like". We are learning about the world and everything in it from the comfort of our own home. It is amazing how much information is available at your fingertips these days! It is so cool to see how they are absorbing information like sponges and making this giant web of connections from all these different sources. Watching their little faces light up in those light bulb moments & seeing them feel more confident and powerful tells me we're going the right direction!
If those social media sites are making you feel anxiety maybe you should take a break from them?
-Cass
----- Original Message -----
From: lisathecelt<mailto:lisathecelt@...>
To: [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, May 02, 2013 9:59 AM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] How do you know you're doing enough?
We started Radical Unschooling about 7 months ago. I have let go of limiting food and media and my ideas of what is educational, but I still can't let go of my bouts of anxiety of over whether I am doing enough. They usually come after seeing lots of things other Radical Unschooling families are doing when I am visiting social media pages. World travels, tons of crafts and projects and board games etc..
I am not crafty and my husband and I are pretty mellow, like to hang out and chat sort of people. We hike a lot, go to the park, visit friends, go to museums, and local events, read, watch tv, work in the yard and make food.
When we are home the boys are playing minecraft while I visit them and take care of things around the house. That was our day yesterday. At the end of the day my 5 year old told me he had a really great day. Is that how you gauge it? If they are happy, are they fine? I feel like if I would have tried tempting them with projects and activities I would have been met with resistance. But when I see what other Mom's are doing I feel sort of lame. What are the signs that you are not doing/strewing enough?
Thanks,
Lisa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
lisathecelt
Thank you so much Sandra for the links and the insights. I'll try a little bit with no expectations. Things are going really well, but I think they are still a little sensitive to me trying to make them learn. My oldest is 9 and is not reading independently yet. He mentioned that he wanted to learn how to because of Minecraft, I told him that I would help if he needed it. He gave me sort of sideways look and never talked about it again. He had only a few reading lessons, but the damage is still there. My youngest is 5 and has never had one. He constantly asks me about words, letters, and how things are spelled. Lesson learned.
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=-At the end of the day my 5 year old told me he had a really great day. Is that how you gauge it? If they are happy, are they fine?-=-
>
> I can't think of a better measurement, honestly.
>
>
> -=-I feel like if I would have tried tempting them with projects and activities I would have been met with resistance. But when I see what other Mom's are doing I feel sort of lame. What are the signs that you are not doing/strewing enough?-=-
>
> If you're feeling that you didn't do enough, you could do a little more. Don't aim for a lot more, though, or you might see it as a failure of your kids to be interested in your big plans.
>
> Here are some ideas in a philosophical/principle way: http://sandradodd.com/checklists
> It's not a checklist of topics. It's a way to look through a kind of template at the way you're deciding what to offer or discuss or strew or think about, maybe.
>
> Maybe it could be movies you rent, or music you play, or food you make or snacks you buy.
>
> You could have some variety by putting their snacks on new plates that have a story behind them, or go by a different route to a familiar place, or shop in a different grocery store.
>
> Sometimes one small change leads (conversationally, at least) to other things.
>
> Be willing for it not to generate interest. Be willing for there to be a little interest, and be glad if there's a lot, but try not to be disappointed if there's not a lot.
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Tori
--- In [email protected], "lisathecelt" <lisathecelt@...> wrote:
What kinds of things would you try if you tired of the dinner menu at home after a few weeks? the sexual repertoire with your regular partner, the options of movies or entertainment, the rhythm of your regular days? We all crave points of interest in our lives. Some folks want more variety and will sacrifice a sense of security for it. Some want predictability, but yet some flavor too.
What do your kids seem to prefer? I've let go of some of my crazy, wild ideas to accommodate my husband and especially our kids. And in other respects I've let go of ideas that were rigid or limiting. I like to think that I'm adjusting to make room for their needs. I don't always know, but if I listen they might tell or show me.
I guess I don't think an outside measure is useful. Watch your kids. Listen to them. And still try to look beyond to see if there's something they just don't know about yet, but would love.
Tori
>What are the signs that you are not doing/strewing enough?
> We started Radical Unschooling about 7 months ago. I have let go of limiting food and media and my ideas of what is educational, but I still can't let go of my bouts of anxiety of over whether I am doing enough. They usually come after seeing lots of things other Radical Unschooling families are doing when I am visiting social media pages. World travels, tons of crafts and projects and board games etc..
>I think about these things too, but I also think about how they relate to life generally, not just about how kids learn...
>
>
What kinds of things would you try if you tired of the dinner menu at home after a few weeks? the sexual repertoire with your regular partner, the options of movies or entertainment, the rhythm of your regular days? We all crave points of interest in our lives. Some folks want more variety and will sacrifice a sense of security for it. Some want predictability, but yet some flavor too.
What do your kids seem to prefer? I've let go of some of my crazy, wild ideas to accommodate my husband and especially our kids. And in other respects I've let go of ideas that were rigid or limiting. I like to think that I'm adjusting to make room for their needs. I don't always know, but if I listen they might tell or show me.
I guess I don't think an outside measure is useful. Watch your kids. Listen to them. And still try to look beyond to see if there's something they just don't know about yet, but would love.
Tori
Lillie M
Hi Lisa,
My daughter didn't learn to read in order to play Minecraft. She learned
to read* while playing *Minecraft, between her 9th and 10th birthdays. In
other words, Minecraft was her reading curriculum, as the former teacher in
me would phrase it. She played on multiplayers where she texted on screen
with the other players and read what they had written. I stayed nearby to
help her in whatever way she asked. Encourage your son to go ahead and
play Minecraft and assure him that you will be there to help him read
whatever he needs help with.
Tress
My daughter didn't learn to read in order to play Minecraft. She learned
to read* while playing *Minecraft, between her 9th and 10th birthdays. In
other words, Minecraft was her reading curriculum, as the former teacher in
me would phrase it. She played on multiplayers where she texted on screen
with the other players and read what they had written. I stayed nearby to
help her in whatever way she asked. Encourage your son to go ahead and
play Minecraft and assure him that you will be there to help him read
whatever he needs help with.
Tress
On Thu, May 2, 2013 at 3:35 PM, lisathecelt <lisathecelt@...> wrote:
> **
>
>
> Thank you so much Sandra for the links and the insights. I'll try a little
> bit with no expectations. Things are going really well, but I think they
> are still a little sensitive to me trying to make them learn. My oldest is
> 9 and is not reading independently yet. He mentioned that he wanted to
> learn how to because of Minecraft, I told him that I would help if he
> needed it. He gave me sort of sideways look and never talked about it
> again. He had only a few reading lessons, but the damage is still there. My
> youngest is 5 and has never had one. He constantly asks me about words,
> letters, and how things are spelled. Lesson learned.
>
> --- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
> >
> > -=-At the end of the day my 5 year old told me he had a really great
> day. Is that how you gauge it? If they are happy, are they fine?-=-
> >
> > I can't think of a better measurement, honestly.
> >
> >
> > -=-I feel like if I would have tried tempting them with projects and
> activities I would have been met with resistance. But when I see what other
> Mom's are doing I feel sort of lame. What are the signs that you are not
> doing/strewing enough?-=-
> >
> > If you're feeling that you didn't do enough, you could do a little more.
> Don't aim for a lot more, though, or you might see it as a failure of your
> kids to be interested in your big plans.
> >
> > Here are some ideas in a philosophical/principle way:
> http://sandradodd.com/checklists
> > It's not a checklist of topics. It's a way to look through a kind of
> template at the way you're deciding what to offer or discuss or strew or
> think about, maybe.
> >
> > Maybe it could be movies you rent, or music you play, or food you make
> or snacks you buy.
> >
> > You could have some variety by putting their snacks on new plates that
> have a story behind them, or go by a different route to a familiar place,
> or shop in a different grocery store.
> >
> > Sometimes one small change leads (conversationally, at least) to other
> things.
> >
> > Be willing for it not to generate interest. Be willing for there to be a
> little interest, and be glad if there's a lot, but try not to be
> disappointed if there's not a lot.
> >
> > Sandra
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tara Johansson
My 7 year old daughter has been playing multiplayer servers, first with close friends we know in real life and then she moved onto playing on public servers, survival games and trouble in mineville. She wanted to participate fully and her reading and writing skills have grown exponentially as a result of her efforts. I and her older brothers have assisted her with spelling and reading when she asked.
Her need to read and spell has fueled her learning.
My son learned to read through playing Pokemon games on his DS and looking at walkthroughs. One of his favorite early books was the complete Pokedex. His reading skills improved greatly the year he was 7 and he was reading the Harry Potter books before his 8th birthday. I never sat him down for lessons, much to my mother's chagrin, and he still loves to read at 13.
My eldest started to read in school. By 1st grade he was crying regularly about how stupid he was and would never learn to read. It was one experience that led us to homeschool and then unschool. He did learn to read but it was a more painful experience than his 2 younger siblings have had. Fortunately my eldest's early experience didn't ruin reading for him.
Tara
Her need to read and spell has fueled her learning.
My son learned to read through playing Pokemon games on his DS and looking at walkthroughs. One of his favorite early books was the complete Pokedex. His reading skills improved greatly the year he was 7 and he was reading the Harry Potter books before his 8th birthday. I never sat him down for lessons, much to my mother's chagrin, and he still loves to read at 13.
My eldest started to read in school. By 1st grade he was crying regularly about how stupid he was and would never learn to read. It was one experience that led us to homeschool and then unschool. He did learn to read but it was a more painful experience than his 2 younger siblings have had. Fortunately my eldest's early experience didn't ruin reading for him.
Tara
On May 3, 2013, at 9:12 AM, Lillie M <milesdt@...> wrote:
> Hi Lisa,
> My daughter didn't learn to read in order to play Minecraft. She learned
> to read* while playing *Minecraft, between her 9th and 10th birthdays. In
> other words, Minecraft was her reading curriculum, as the former teacher in
> me would phrase it. She played on multiplayers where she texted on screen
> with the other players and read what they had written. I stayed nearby to
> help her in whatever way she asked. Encourage your son to go ahead and
> play Minecraft and assure him that you will be there to help him read
> whatever he needs help with.
> Tress
>
> On Thu, May 2, 2013 at 3:35 PM, lisathecelt <lisathecelt@...> wrote:
>
> > **
> >
> >
> > Thank you so much Sandra for the links and the insights. I'll try a little
> > bit with no expectations. Things are going really well, but I think they
> > are still a little sensitive to me trying to make them learn. My oldest is
> > 9 and is not reading independently yet. He mentioned that he wanted to
> > learn how to because of Minecraft, I told him that I would help if he
> > needed it. He gave me sort of sideways look and never talked about it
> > again. He had only a few reading lessons, but the damage is still there. My
> > youngest is 5 and has never had one. He constantly asks me about words,
> > letters, and how things are spelled. Lesson learned.
> >
> > --- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
> > >
> > > -=-At the end of the day my 5 year old told me he had a really great
> > day. Is that how you gauge it? If they are happy, are they fine?-=-
> > >
> > > I can't think of a better measurement, honestly.
> > >
> > >
> > > -=-I feel like if I would have tried tempting them with projects and
> > activities I would have been met with resistance. But when I see what other
> > Mom's are doing I feel sort of lame. What are the signs that you are not
> > doing/strewing enough?-=-
> > >
> > > If you're feeling that you didn't do enough, you could do a little more.
> > Don't aim for a lot more, though, or you might see it as a failure of your
> > kids to be interested in your big plans.
> > >
> > > Here are some ideas in a philosophical/principle way:
> > http://sandradodd.com/checklists
> > > It's not a checklist of topics. It's a way to look through a kind of
> > template at the way you're deciding what to offer or discuss or strew or
> > think about, maybe.
> > >
> > > Maybe it could be movies you rent, or music you play, or food you make
> > or snacks you buy.
> > >
> > > You could have some variety by putting their snacks on new plates that
> > have a story behind them, or go by a different route to a familiar place,
> > or shop in a different grocery store.
> > >
> > > Sometimes one small change leads (conversationally, at least) to other
> > things.
> > >
> > > Be willing for it not to generate interest. Be willing for there to be a
> > little interest, and be glad if there's a lot, but try not to be
> > disappointed if there's not a lot.
> > >
> > > Sandra
> > >
> > > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> > >
> >
> >
> >
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
sukaynalabboun
We have been radically unschooling for about 1 1/2 yrs now (still deschooling and loving it). I had similar concerns at first and I would like to offer a bit of advice: the read a little, try a little wait a while bit is such a gem! I had to step back and ease up and unschool myself (or at least get pretty far along!) to get to the point of seeing all that was actually going on. I needed to be more involved, more interested, and more interesting. There are so many simple opportunities that present themselves everyday, that I am no longer super worried about learning or strewing, it is beginning to come naturally. (What works here might not work in your home- but we are currently inspired by a recent lunar eclipse and saturn in the night sky, black holes and then atoms...the galaxy and even Drake's equation for life in the universe-all from one simple comment that there would be an eclipse on such a night). My 9 yr old has memorized the planets, their order away from the sun, landmarks, satellites, mass etc on her own out of sheer joy and interest these past few days. I am not bragging, I am saying that when they come across something *they* are interested in, they will learn unless we get in the way. I am absolutely loving the swirl of excited, happy energy around here these days! Strewing the open email about the night sky sparked so much for us and it was almost effortless. Keep reading here when you feel doubtful, and keep working at finding what might interest your kids. I have genuinely benefitted from all of the advice and suggestions of those wonderful parents before us. Thank you to all the posters who help those of us elongate our patience so we can begin to "get it".
--- In [email protected], "lisathecelt" <lisathecelt@...> wrote:
>
> We started Radical Unschooling about 7 months ago. I have let go of limiting food and media and my ideas of what is educational, but I still can't let go of my bouts of anxiety of over whether I am doing enough. They usually come after seeing lots of things other Radical Unschooling families are doing when I am visiting social media pages. World travels, tons of crafts and projects and board games etc..
> I am not crafty and my husband and I are pretty mellow, like to hang out and chat sort of people. We hike a lot, go to the park, visit friends, go to museums, and local events, read, watch tv, work in the yard and make food.
> When we are home the boys are playing minecraft while I visit them and take care of things around the house. That was our day yesterday. At the end of the day my 5 year old told me he had a really great day. Is that how you gauge it? If they are happy, are they fine? I feel like if I would have tried tempting them with projects and activities I would have been met with resistance. But when I see what other Mom's are doing I feel sort of lame. What are the signs that you are not doing/strewing enough?
> Thanks,
> Lisa
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-Things are going really well, but I think they are still a little sensitive to me trying to make them learn.-=-
I hope someone already pointed out that no one can make anyone else learn anything. It's a good phrase to lose, "make them..."
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I hope someone already pointed out that no one can make anyone else learn anything. It's a good phrase to lose, "make them..."
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]