nadinebonnett

Hi Folks,

We're still busy living, learning and playing in the Yukon. My kids are now 23 (gulp), 19, almost 12 and 9. We spend as much time in the bush as we can and the rest of it in Whitehorse, Yukon. My hubby is now working with the Dept. of Environment up here, and as a volunteer Parks Officer, so lots of cool offerings there for bush kids big and small.

I'm in sort of the same boat as the other poster who talked about working and leaving kids with more responsibility, if perhaps paddling down a somewhat different stream. Things tend to be somewhat "chaotic" at first glance in our house, but as you look around and figure out what's actually there it's a very happy mess.

Piles of camping gear left from our last trip to Little Salmon Lake to pick morel mushrooms where there was a big fire last year. The bits are out and ready on the table for little girl's beautiful jewellery making when she wants them next. The bag of percussion instruments sits on top of the drum kit, and the guitars are strewn around the living room in a happily disorganized fashion. My sewing machine is on the coffee table in case we want to sew some patches on clothes, or maybe put together a fabulous bandanna.

The pantry is bulging with easy to make food for when kids are too busy to stop, ingredients for when we all want to bake or make "recipes" (existing or new to this planet), potting soil for when we get around to re-potting plants. The sideboard holds pens, paper, the computer that my hubby bartered for with his last computer help job so that the kids can have their own again, and several boxes of unclassified "good stuff".

Anyways,I just needed a touch stone at this point in our unschooling journey. I've been at home with kids for a long time now, and while it's the all and the everything of everything, it can tend to isolate even one who likes isolation when you live in a place as small as this.

Thanks for being that touch point,
Nadine

Sandra Dodd

-=-The bits are out and ready on the table for little girl's beautiful
jewellery making when she wants them next. The bag of percussion
instruments sits on top of the drum kit, and the guitars are strewn
around the living room in a happily disorganized fashion. My sewing
machine is on the coffee table in case we want to sew some patches on
clothes, or maybe put together a fabulous bandanna.-=-

Though it's also a mess, man of our projects are in boxes (like the
flat boxes sodas come in, or the lids of xerox boxes) so they can be
moved off of or onto a table. That way tables can be cleared off. If
there's a jewelry project out on one table and a sewing machine on
another, the kids are unlikely to start a new project or play a game.

Cleared tables are valuable!

Holly has joked that we have a Mad Hatter's Teaparty house. Sometimes
it's moving to a clean place at the table, but often it's moving to a
whole new table. It's embarrassing, but I can also point and tell
stories about everything that's there and why it's there. Still, when
there are clean tables, nice things happen.

If the nine year old gets along well with the older kids and no one of
them is fully responsible for his health, safety and happiness, then
it sounds like a pretty cool situation, if he's okay with it (or she).

Sandra




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nadinebonnett

Thanks for the reply Sandra,

**Though it's also a mess, man of our projects are in boxes (like the flat boxes sodas come in, or the lids of xerox boxes) so they can be
moved off of or onto a table. That way tables can be cleared off.**

I think that this is a superb idea, and I have a vision of making each of the younger 2 kids (the ones who still live in this house)a decorated tray/box of some sort. My Mom has a beautiful beading tray that my dd has always admired...hmmm. I'll set up the decorating project so that they can help if they want to, but I'll just do them myself if not.

I need to breathe and stop my menopausal hot-flash fueled whirling around and get my priorities a bit straight in some areas again. Like, there's no point in letting the dishes pile up to try to make a point. What point? Who cares? The kids and the hubby sure don't care if the house is a mess. It's just basically a pick-up and drop-off point in the summer for all our outdoor activities. And fall is even worse..until we get busy with winter stuff. :)

It only bothers me, and so I need to stop resenting it so much and feeling like they're all against me although it is a little harder when the very elderly dog keeps eating the drywall, and the puppy pulled out a ten inch wide strip of carpeting in my bedroom. I'm gonna turn on some music, put on my boogie shoes and get the housework train rolling down the track tomorrow. And if anyone wants to hop on board they will be welcomed, but if they don't then I'll just boogie to whatever music I want to listen to and have fun.

And my house and my spirits will feel better. And maybe I'll find the bloomin' headphones that I lost a fair while ago..
Who knows? Maybe a tabletop or two will even surface.

Nadine

Sandra Dodd

-=-**Though it's also a mess, man of our projects are in boxes (like
the flat boxes sodas come in, or the lids of xerox boxes) so they can be
moved off of or onto a table. That way tables can be cleared off.**

-=-I think that this is a superb idea, and I have a vision of making
each of the younger 2 kids (the ones who still live in this house)a
decorated tray/box of some sort.-=-


Ah.
Well that wasn't my idea at all.

If a table is covered with projects, each project could have a box.
Not each person could have a box. Then you end up needing to clean
out (and keep the decorated...) box to do something else, or when a
project is finished.

I was thinking of unimportant, disposable boxes for transportation and
storage purposes.

The thought of a box-decorating project (which would take a table, and
maybe need its own box) reminds me of what some people call
"recycling," which is washing trash, and the painting it, gluing
macaroni to it, painting it gold, and gluing glitter on top of that.
Decorated trash is not "recycled."

-=-I need to breathe and stop my menopausal hot-flash fueled whirling
around and get my priorities a bit straight in some areas again. -=-

I suggest not decorating boxes, for a start.

Breathe. Smile. Sing. Be with your kids.

Sandra

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Pam Sorooshian

On 7/31/2010 9:56 PM, Sandra Dodd wrote:
> I was thinking of unimportant, disposable boxes for transportation and
> storage purposes.

I have a lot of trays. I picked them up, over the years, at thrift
stores and garage sales and discount places like Big Lots and Tuesday
Morning. I get pretty ones, because there are lots of pretty ones out
there, but the main thing is to have different sizes and shapes. I keep
them at hand - they are stored vertically between some dividers so they
are easy to pull out and put away. Big trays for big projects, little
trays for little bitty projects. The keep all the supplies kind of
corralled and the whole project can be moved easily out of the way,
temporarily. They're really great. They keep crayons and colored pencils
from rolling out of reach and they keep zillions of tiny scraps of paper
from spreading all over the table. They keep spills contained. They are
solid and often even have handles. And they're thin and easy to store.
And, did I mention pretty? Occasionally I use one as a tray - for
carrying and serving food and beverage, too. <g>

-pam

wtexans

===so I need to stop resenting it so much===

Take "so much" out of that thought and you'll be on the right track!


===Like, there's no point in letting the dishes pile up to try to make a point. What point? Who cares? The kids and the hubby sure don't care if the house is a mess.===

Have you actually asked them if they care, or is that an assumption on your part? If it's an assumption, it seems a rather snarky one.

Perhaps what you consider a mess is not what they consider a mess.

Something I did a handful of years ago with my husband was to find out what house-things were important to him and I let him know what things were important to me. Then we both relaxed considerably in the areas that weren't such huge concerns to either of us.

I take care of being sure we all always have clean clothes and towels, and I don't mind checking everyone's bedrooms for dirty clothes. He takes care of being sure he gets his work clothes to/from the dry cleaners. I like the kitchen clean before I go to bed, so I load and start the dishwasher if that's needed. He doesn't care a bit whether I cook dinner or not, but I do make an effort to keep the fridge and pantry and freezer stocked with things he can use to make himself dinner if I haven't prepared dinner for the both of us. One or the other of us will clean the toilet or tub when we notice it's that time. Those are the only household things that are a high priority between the two of us.

That means I let go of feeling like dusting, mopping, and vacuuming "had" to happen on a certain schedule. Those things happen when one or the other of us feels like it's time (or when company's coming over [g]).

I don't expect my kiddo to do any housework. As a result of not having that expectation, it's a lovely gift to me when he totes his dirty clothes to the laundry hamper, and when he takes his dirty dishes to the kitchen before he goes to bed, and when he declutters his floor so I can walk through the room. Likewise, I consider it a gift to him when I make sure I have all the dirty clothes or dishes where they need to be to get clean, and when I declutter his floor so *he* can walk through it more easily.

If the dishes piling up is a bone of contention for you, what can you do to ease that? Maybe use disposable plates, utensils, and cups. Have more one-pot meals. Consider no-cook / low-cook options: sandwiches; hot dogs (the weiners can be grilled outdoors or broiled indoors on foil); crackers + cheese + fruit; cereal + fruit/juice + boiled eggs(you can boil a bunch one day then stash them in the fridge to grab as needed throughout the week) + heat-n-serve bacon; etc.

One of my kiddo's favorite late-night meals is nachos that I make in the toaster oven: piece of foil with tortilla chips on it, which I sprinkle generously with pre-shredded cheese -- takes 5 or 6 minutes, there's no clean-up, and it's filling. If I'm heading to bed, I don't mind making those for him on my way. He and I have come up with several late-night meals that I can make quick-n-easy for him when I'm headed to bed, that require no clean-up.

Glenda

Sandra Dodd

-=-I have a lot of trays. I picked them up, over the years, at thrift
stores and garage sales and discount places like Big Lots and Tuesday
Morning. I get pretty ones, because there are lots of pretty ones out
there, but the main thing is to have different sizes and shapes. I keep
them at hand - they are stored vertically between some dividers so they
are easy to pull out and put away.-=-

I used to scan for silverware trays at thrift stores and garage sales--
the unbreakable ones with rectangular (not spoon-shaped) spaces.
Those were used for sorting and storing colored pencils, crayons, lego
pieces, beads, etc. Our pattern blocks are still sorted into and
stored in two o those, but most were used for a session or project or
season, and then emptied again. Some are in desk drawers and dresser
drawers with various little things in them, still. Some are in the
storage room.

Some projects live(d) longterm or temporarily in plastic boxes
(plastic shoeboxes, and their ilk in various sizes).

Magnets had a metal tray (cookie sheet) and there was another one for
poetry magnets (words), which we set up for a van trip years ago, and
undid recently.

But for someone who lives in the boonies and lacks table space, with
children who need to be by themselves sometimes and could use a quick
way to keep and move projects, sewing supplies, cloth scraps or
whatever, the kinds of boxes available from going shopping or driving
through the alley behind Kinko's, FedEx or print shops might be a
quick solution to making a small house more modular, in table-sharing
ways.

My long-term solution was a bigger house and more tables. I bought
another table last week--a 50's or early 60's metal dinette table with
two leaves At its smallest, it's round. $65. Yet another flat
surface for me to fill up and aim to clear off.

The times our tables get all cleaned off at once is when we're going
to have company. That's fun. Then they fill the tables up with
laptop computers and books and stuff, and that's fun too!

It seems that when I totally clean off our kitchen table, there will
be a game and score sheets on it the next morning. Half the time, at
least. :-)



Sandra

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Sandra Dodd

-=-Maybe use disposable plates, utensils, and cups. Have more one-pot
meals. Consider no-cook / low-cook options: sandwiches; hot dogs...-=-

We have a paper bag near the trash all the time for greasy paper, so
if someone microwaves a hot dog, or drains bacon on paper towels, that
paper towel will be used to light a fire (fireplace or hot-tub
stove). Paper plates that were used in the microwave, too.

Finding ways not to be grumpy about dishes is a good model and
practice field for other choices in life.
We use melamine plates most of the time. The heavy, breakable plates
only come out occasionally. Four of the melamine plates fit in the
same space as one of the "real" dinner plates. They're lighter and
they stack.

We get our dishes from thrift stores, mostly. If one of them bugs me,
it can go back to the thrift store.

Sometimes when a mom is really frustrated with doing the dishes, it
can help to get rid of dishes with bad memories and connections, or
put them in storage for a while. Happy, fun dishes with pleasant
associations are easier to wash.


Sandra

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Deb Lewis

*** Happy, fun dishes with pleasant
associations are easier to wash.***

Some of our dishes came from junk stores and flea markets, handmade pottery, old and funky. Some I made. Some my dad bought for me the last year he was sick. He wanted to thank me for getting him to radiation therapy and he did it with pretty Franciscan Ware.<g>

I like washing those. I think about where they came from or when I made them. I think about what we were doing when we found them. A couple pieces we bought in a junk store in Palmer, Alaska the winter I was pregnant with Dylan. I have a bowl and pitcher from the Renaissance Fair in Anchorage. I think about my dad and how he used to start telling a funny story and laugh so hard he couldn't finish it.

I sometimes wash just what we'll need. If I'm going to work I make sure whoever's home will have what they need, clean and ready. I use paper plates during really busy times. I don't like the waste of disposable stuff and I don't believe the peace and love in my family will magically make up for too much garbage so mostly I wash the dishes we have, glad to have them, glad to have hot water enough to spend on getting pretty dishes clean.

Get a dishwasher. If you could buy happiness for a couple hundred dollars, a dishwasher might be it. You have a place to stash dirty dishes to get them out of your way (I use my oven) and you have a button to push when you want the dishes clean. Do that instead of feeling resentful or being tired. My dream is to someday have a dishwasher.<g>

We lived in Knik, Alaska. We had no plumbing. I heated water on the wood stove. It was a big deal to get a pile of dishes clean. I think of that now when I'm facing a stack of dishes. I can turn a knob and have hot water, pull a plug and let the water out the drain. It's so dang fancy! <g>

Deb Lewis








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BRIAN POLIKOWSKY

You can sometimes get free dishwashers on Freecycle or Craigslist!

Or you can use paper plates and disposable silverware.

OR turn the radio on with some great music and wash like singing!

Change how you see things.

A homeschooling friend of mine posted on Facebook that she had a fustrating day
yesterday.
She said:
 "today was a frustrating day - it seemed like I could never get anything done,
the mower wasn't working (again!), kids wanted to fight with me all day, and I
just found that my son had kicked a hole in the wall because he was mad that he
had to do chores. Kids are blissfully in bed now. I think it's Miller Time!"
 
I had a great day yesterday! SO I said:
 
 "if it makes you feel better my mower has not worked all Summer and a cow got
my my garden , she decided she wanted to have her calf in my corn and knocked
down half of it after destroying a bit of erverything planted in the whole
garden. I still think it was a great day!!!!!! Baked some zucchini bread and
made delicious zucchini fritatas!!"
 
 
 
This friend is big time into her garden, she even has a degree on something
related to it. I did not want to rub in that my
kids were great and that they help me when I asked them and Gigi loves doing
chores!
 
Sure my grass is knee deeep and I have all kids of weed, sure the cow damaged a
lot but she had a healthy calf and is doing good.
My kids are healthy and happy and we did a lot yesterday and went to bed to the
sound of my oldest MD laughing with his dad in the other room.
 
I undertand having bad or/and frustrating moments.
 I am baking some more zucchini bread and taking to my friend today as she said
zucchini bread will make everything better!
 
 

Alex Polikowsky

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Sandra Dodd

-=-You can sometimes get free dishwashers on Freecycle or Craigslist!-=-

Maybe not in the Yukon bush, but other places, it's more likely.




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k

I use shoeboxes a lot and I have all kinds of other boxes I used for other
stuff than what they were meant for -- like boxes puzzles came in that the
pieces are largely lost for (already decorated with the puzzle pic),
stationary boxes after I've used the paper/envelopes up. I've got some
favorite cards from people that I've saved up in a couple of those as well
as costume jewelry or jewelry parts from broken pieces that are too
interesting to trash.

(Speaking of recycle/reuse: I'm a dedicated packrat and hardly ever buy new
art supplies except paper and markers. I reuse canvas or other cloth to
paint on again if I'm done with what's on there or don't like it, and all
kinds of stuff goes in mixed media, that catch-all "found objects.")

~Katherine



On Sun, Aug 1, 2010 at 1:54 AM, Pam Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...>wrote:

> On 7/31/2010 9:56 PM, Sandra Dodd wrote:
> > I was thinking of unimportant, disposable boxes for transportation and
> > storage purposes.
>
> I have a lot of trays. I picked them up, over the years, at thrift
> stores and garage sales and discount places like Big Lots and Tuesday
> Morning. I get pretty ones, because there are lots of pretty ones out
> there, but the main thing is to have different sizes and shapes. I keep
> them at hand - they are stored vertically between some dividers so they
> are easy to pull out and put away. Big trays for big projects, little
> trays for little bitty projects. The keep all the supplies kind of
> corralled and the whole project can be moved easily out of the way,
> temporarily. They're really great. They keep crayons and colored pencils
> from rolling out of reach and they keep zillions of tiny scraps of paper
> from spreading all over the table. They keep spills contained. They are
> solid and often even have handles. And they're thin and easy to store.
> And, did I mention pretty? Occasionally I use one as a tray - for
> carrying and serving food and beverage, too. <g>
>
> -pam
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>


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Deb Lewis

*** The kids and the hubby sure don't care if the house is a mess.***

David and Dylan don't care if the house is messy but they do care if they're inconvenienced. If a hungry person goes to the kitchen to make a sandwich and there's no clear space on the counter top, no clean knives, no clean cutting board, no clean plates, that's an inconvenience. It might seem a small thing to wash a knife or a plate, but when you're hungry and in a hurry, four small things can be enough inconvenience to make eating then seem too much trouble. So, even if I don't immediately have time to wash every dirty dish, I wash enough and clear up enough that others aren't inconvenienced in the kitchen.

Deb Lewis





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