Reenie

>Well done for being so firm! It must serve you and bring you sanity!

How did you say it btw?
Love
Natalie<

I don't remember exactly WHAT I said- to my GF ~it went something like this-
"I Love both you and mom and I cannot, CANNOT - be put in the middle. I do not want to discuss this with either you or her-" He has respected this, but it has definitely put a rift in our relationship- this all came right around the time when I quit cleaning once a week for them (which always had to be an ENTIRE day- the actual cleaning took @ 1 hr.) I got tired of the "CONTROL" part of it- I know my GM is lonely- no one ever visits, etc. etc. etc.- Plus I tired of my girls having to hear of it over and over and over everytime we went there- My Paw can be quite mean and hateful about various things- (not directed at us per se, just at life in general)
your typical grouchy old man I suppose- but uck!
This has been REALLY hard because their house is filthy since I quit-etc. etc.- but I do not want them controlling me with guilt either.
My mother- that is another story!
I asked her to do the same thing-(not discuss it with me), but since it is NOT her fault of course, and she is the "VICTIM", she feels the need to go on and on- I simply ignore her and get her off the topic- which is usually easy to do-
Which is why we are moving, as soon as $$ allows it. (she lives 4 houses away)- another long story.
Don't get me wrong- I love her dearly, but it is really hard to be this close to the everyday traumas, ya know? And the opinions! She also loves to "manipulate" and is much, much less subtle than she thinks she is- my DH and I have become quite amused by it. One huge topic is that we have stopped going to church (we went to the same one as her) for many reasons, the main one being her (everyone there seems to know all of our personal news- money issues. etc.) I HATE THAT!
AND my new-found issues with anything organized (meaning organizational)(another 30yo mid-life thing I suppose).
I tried to ask her to keep her mouth shut, but she does not seem to be able to control it- this is not my problem to solve for her-
GEESH- sorry for the therapy session- I tend to go on and on sometimes.
NONE of this is easy- it all breaks my heart- Did I say that I am looking forward to moving?
(giggle)
Gotta go- it is baby land in my living room (they are little mommy's today) and "MT.FOLD ME" is looking at me from my bed!
Reenie






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