No friends
J
My ds and dd are 12 yo. They have never had any friends. Ever. We live in a small town, and there are no children their age nearby. We joined one HS group when they were younger, but the group was very clique-ish. I once asked the group if they wanted to play with my dc, and they said flat out no.
My dc are happy to do things together -- Yu-Gi-Oh games on the Nintendo and Wii, card dueling, reading. They aren't interested in making friends at all.
DS is a bit needy, and can't seem to find things to do when his sister wants to read or draw on her own. He wanders the house, waiting for her to finish whatever she is doing.
I'm worried about the future -- a childhood without friends. How will they cope when they have to interact with others? I know I worry about everything. Any advice?
My dc are happy to do things together -- Yu-Gi-Oh games on the Nintendo and Wii, card dueling, reading. They aren't interested in making friends at all.
DS is a bit needy, and can't seem to find things to do when his sister wants to read or draw on her own. He wanders the house, waiting for her to finish whatever she is doing.
I'm worried about the future -- a childhood without friends. How will they cope when they have to interact with others? I know I worry about everything. Any advice?
Sandra Dodd
-=-I'm worried about the future -- a childhood without friends. How
will they cope when they have to interact with others? I know I worry
about everything. Any advice?=-
Many children have grown up isolated in the past--missionaries or
pioneers or ranchers. Perhaps cattle ranches and sheep stations in
Australia are the models to look at. In farming and ranching country,
I've heard stories of the days when kids only saw other kids at Sunday
School, once a week. Then school and school buses came along. But
in Australia they didn't gather up all the kids. They had (might
still have) "the school of the air" by radio for isolated kids. There
might be some literature or common knowledge about how those kids did.
I know one family that grew up with few friends other than each other,
although there were five of them, the kids. They were homeschooled.
They knew my kids but only saw them a couple of times a year, and a
few other families, very infrequently. They're fine.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
will they cope when they have to interact with others? I know I worry
about everything. Any advice?=-
Many children have grown up isolated in the past--missionaries or
pioneers or ranchers. Perhaps cattle ranches and sheep stations in
Australia are the models to look at. In farming and ranching country,
I've heard stories of the days when kids only saw other kids at Sunday
School, once a week. Then school and school buses came along. But
in Australia they didn't gather up all the kids. They had (might
still have) "the school of the air" by radio for isolated kids. There
might be some literature or common knowledge about how those kids did.
I know one family that grew up with few friends other than each other,
although there were five of them, the kids. They were homeschooled.
They knew my kids but only saw them a couple of times a year, and a
few other families, very infrequently. They're fine.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
flhomeschooling
--- In [email protected], "J" <jmarsh122@...> wrote:
My son is very social, but an only child, and desires more friends, so I'm encouraging him to try to talk to people with whom he has a shared interest online. You have to be mindful that some (many) social networks and forums don't allow kids under 13. Some parents put a false birthday in the birthdate field for their kids' profiles, but that's up to you. My son really enjoys Skyping with friends and relatives all over the world, as well.
You could try Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, LiveMocha.com is a fun one if there is an interest in languages, Ning.com has a million mini-social networks catering to a lot of different shared interests, there are countless message forums, etc. (LOTS of forums about Yugioh!) With the Internet, it's not *necessary* to be isolated anymore, even for missionaries and aborigines. :)
Andrea in Miami
>Maybe introduce them to social networks online? I'm 33, but I'm one of those weirdos that's been on the Internet since the early 90s *g* so a lot of my friends in "3D" are people I first met online. And I first did that in the era of ubiquitous scare tactics about meeting people from online - everyone was a potential ax murderer!!! (no one ever actually was, of course) - but nowadays it's totally commonplace. Even online dating has lost a lot of its stigma - even for teens.
> My ds and dd are 12 yo. They have never had any friends. Ever.
My son is very social, but an only child, and desires more friends, so I'm encouraging him to try to talk to people with whom he has a shared interest online. You have to be mindful that some (many) social networks and forums don't allow kids under 13. Some parents put a false birthday in the birthdate field for their kids' profiles, but that's up to you. My son really enjoys Skyping with friends and relatives all over the world, as well.
You could try Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, LiveMocha.com is a fun one if there is an interest in languages, Ning.com has a million mini-social networks catering to a lot of different shared interests, there are countless message forums, etc. (LOTS of forums about Yugioh!) With the Internet, it's not *necessary* to be isolated anymore, even for missionaries and aborigines. :)
Andrea in Miami
Robyn L. Coburn
Home schooling isn't always enough of a reason to bond. However what
homeschooling does is (sometimes) create a greater availability for
playdates and outings because they aren't doing school all day - unless they
are.
I think the answers will be - if your kids start wanting more interactions -
to find clubs based on their interests, and to set them up with skype and
internet social networks based on their interests.
There are a lot of Yu-gi-oh players at the unschooling conferences.
<<<I know I worry about everything.>>>>
What is "everything"?
I have moments of worrying - but they are all grounded in my fears about
myself - my feared inability to succeed in some way.
Sometimes I worry that Jayn will be sad or miss out because I'm not able to
give her something that she wants. Sometimes I worry that she will only
learn some social things a hard way, from rejection. I'm not a fantastic
social model for her.
But there are no deep worries, I mean about how she is going to turn out.
Children manage to survive all kinds of horrible situations - Jayn's
situation is not remotely horrible. I'm going out on a limb to imagine that
these two siblings situation is not remotely horrible either.
How to stop worrying?
Maybe try grounding yourself in knowledge - as you are doing by posting
here - other examples of people growing up and doing fine.
Maybe really elucidate what the worst is that could happen - and compare it
to what is happening. What is happening, from your story, looks like two
close and happy siblings truly enjoying each other.
Maybe take the opportunity to do something with DS if you can when he is
waiting for his sister.
Robyn L. Coburn
www.Iggyjingles.etsy.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
www.allthingsdoll.blogspot.com
homeschooling does is (sometimes) create a greater availability for
playdates and outings because they aren't doing school all day - unless they
are.
I think the answers will be - if your kids start wanting more interactions -
to find clubs based on their interests, and to set them up with skype and
internet social networks based on their interests.
There are a lot of Yu-gi-oh players at the unschooling conferences.
<<<I know I worry about everything.>>>>
What is "everything"?
I have moments of worrying - but they are all grounded in my fears about
myself - my feared inability to succeed in some way.
Sometimes I worry that Jayn will be sad or miss out because I'm not able to
give her something that she wants. Sometimes I worry that she will only
learn some social things a hard way, from rejection. I'm not a fantastic
social model for her.
But there are no deep worries, I mean about how she is going to turn out.
Children manage to survive all kinds of horrible situations - Jayn's
situation is not remotely horrible. I'm going out on a limb to imagine that
these two siblings situation is not remotely horrible either.
How to stop worrying?
Maybe try grounding yourself in knowledge - as you are doing by posting
here - other examples of people growing up and doing fine.
Maybe really elucidate what the worst is that could happen - and compare it
to what is happening. What is happening, from your story, looks like two
close and happy siblings truly enjoying each other.
Maybe take the opportunity to do something with DS if you can when he is
waiting for his sister.
Robyn L. Coburn
www.Iggyjingles.etsy.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
www.allthingsdoll.blogspot.com
musicmom98233
Your kids might be happy the way they are. My nearby niece and nephew grew up with only each other for friends, yet are now lively 20-somethings with many friends and interests, and seemingly healthy connections with people of all ages. They learned how to be around other teenagers when my sister would go with them to concerts as they grew old enough and were interested, and when they got jobs at the local deli which mainly hired young people. It was pretty amazing how smoothly they flowed out into the world when they were ready.
If your kids seem to want more friends, they may not need "same age" kids - we posted a sign asking for fellow Yi-Gi-Oh players when we moved to a rural area and my son wanted someone to play with. One boy, younger than we had hoped for, responded. The two boys did become good friends, and his mom and I recruited other local families (multi-age, home-schooled and not) for activities that seemed fun to our kids. That informal group is now 5 years old and going strong - maybe you can start something that works for you and your kids, rather than joining a group that doesn't?
Thea
If your kids seem to want more friends, they may not need "same age" kids - we posted a sign asking for fellow Yi-Gi-Oh players when we moved to a rural area and my son wanted someone to play with. One boy, younger than we had hoped for, responded. The two boys did become good friends, and his mom and I recruited other local families (multi-age, home-schooled and not) for activities that seemed fun to our kids. That informal group is now 5 years old and going strong - maybe you can start something that works for you and your kids, rather than joining a group that doesn't?
Thea
--- In [email protected], "J" <jmarsh122@...> wrote:
>
> My ds and dd are 12 yo. They have never had any friends. Ever. We live in a small town, and there are no children their age nearby. We joined one HS group when they were younger, but the group was very clique-ish. I once asked the group if they wanted to play with my dc, and they said flat out no.
>
> My dc are happy to do things together -- Yu-Gi-Oh games on the Nintendo and Wii, card dueling, reading. They aren't interested in making friends at all.
>
> DS is a bit needy, and can't seem to find things to do when his sister wants to read or draw on her own. He wanders the house, waiting for her to finish whatever she is doing.
>
> I'm worried about the future -- a childhood without friends. How will they cope when they have to interact with others? I know I worry about everything. Any advice?
>
Joanna
When you joined the homeschooling group, did you go multiple times in order for familiarity to work its magic? Sometimes there are kids that my kids have known as acquaintances for years but some event/conversation/common friend/full moon/etc. will happen and a connection is made. But these natural hook ups take opportunity.
We've had people visit our group before and expect their children to jump right in, and for the children that know each other to be immediately open to them, and sometimes it happens, but sometimes it doesn't. We've always been open to facilitating interactions, but there is no substitute for familiarity. It's really no different than how I feel meeting a new person, but I have a little more practice in trying to find common ground.
And I'm not saying you didn't give it a chance--I'm just asking. I recently talked with a new homeschooler who complained about every group in her area being cliquish and then it turned out that she only went once to visit each one.
Joanna
We've had people visit our group before and expect their children to jump right in, and for the children that know each other to be immediately open to them, and sometimes it happens, but sometimes it doesn't. We've always been open to facilitating interactions, but there is no substitute for familiarity. It's really no different than how I feel meeting a new person, but I have a little more practice in trying to find common ground.
And I'm not saying you didn't give it a chance--I'm just asking. I recently talked with a new homeschooler who complained about every group in her area being cliquish and then it turned out that she only went once to visit each one.
Joanna
J
> When you joined the homeschooling group, did you go multiple times in order for familiarity to work its magic?Yes, we've tried more than once. We even attended weekly hs art classes and meet-at-the-park days. After a while, we just decided that we'd be happier staying at home.
I think I just need to look beyond my immediate circumstances, and take a broader view on things. Things change. Life happens. Relax.
My children are happy, healthy and thriving. What more could I ask for?
Thanks for all the responses. They were very helpful.
Sandra Dodd
-=-And I'm not saying you didn't give it a chance--I'm just asking. I
recently talked with a new homeschooler who complained about every
group in her area being cliquish and then it turned out that she only
went once to visit each one.-=-
Years ago after a big conference someone wrote to the conference's
discussion list and said her girl(s?) went and that the other girls
already seemed to know each other and that it was just like school,
that they had cliques.
When I go to a conference, there are people I like and know and I'll
want to find them at some point and visit. Sometimes if the
conference is big and busy, I don't even make it around to all the
people I do know, and there's no time left to make new friends.
Sometimes people need to go to more than one unschooling conference
before they make good friends (parents or kids). Sometimes there's a
"love at first sight" friendship.
Unlike school, though, where teachers try to press kids to include
everyone, or where there are artificial playgroups and teams created,
the conference was just like the real world, where each person had the
freedom to hang out in her room, or to go out and introduce herself,
or just to sit and watch. It was NOT just like school at all. But
that mom hurled her worst insult, which was "like school."
I think sometimes people expect becoming an unschooler to solve all
their problems. People expect too much of other unschoolers, socially
and politically and financially. All kinds of ways. They expect us
to take care of each other's emotional needs and sometimes more. It's
not healthy.
Something related came up in the unschooling chat yesterday, about
whether an unschooling commune would be a wonderful thing. I think
not. I think each unschooling family should exist in the real world,
whole and independent. Having other unschooling friends is awesome;
we always have from the beginning, and found more through my speaking
at conferences. Some families organize campouts or get-togethers and
meet other families. But nowhere in there should other families be
obligated to provide for a family for no other reason than that
they're also unschooling.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
recently talked with a new homeschooler who complained about every
group in her area being cliquish and then it turned out that she only
went once to visit each one.-=-
Years ago after a big conference someone wrote to the conference's
discussion list and said her girl(s?) went and that the other girls
already seemed to know each other and that it was just like school,
that they had cliques.
When I go to a conference, there are people I like and know and I'll
want to find them at some point and visit. Sometimes if the
conference is big and busy, I don't even make it around to all the
people I do know, and there's no time left to make new friends.
Sometimes people need to go to more than one unschooling conference
before they make good friends (parents or kids). Sometimes there's a
"love at first sight" friendship.
Unlike school, though, where teachers try to press kids to include
everyone, or where there are artificial playgroups and teams created,
the conference was just like the real world, where each person had the
freedom to hang out in her room, or to go out and introduce herself,
or just to sit and watch. It was NOT just like school at all. But
that mom hurled her worst insult, which was "like school."
I think sometimes people expect becoming an unschooler to solve all
their problems. People expect too much of other unschoolers, socially
and politically and financially. All kinds of ways. They expect us
to take care of each other's emotional needs and sometimes more. It's
not healthy.
Something related came up in the unschooling chat yesterday, about
whether an unschooling commune would be a wonderful thing. I think
not. I think each unschooling family should exist in the real world,
whole and independent. Having other unschooling friends is awesome;
we always have from the beginning, and found more through my speaking
at conferences. Some families organize campouts or get-togethers and
meet other families. But nowhere in there should other families be
obligated to provide for a family for no other reason than that
they're also unschooling.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jenny Cyphers
***Something related came up in the unschooling chat yesterday, about
whether an unschooling commune would be a wonderful thing. I think
not. I think each unschooling family should exist in the real world,
whole and independent.***
I agree with this assessment. Our family has lived with other families. When it's hard enough for partners to stay together, it's even harder to make it work within a context of multiple others. Both times that we lived with other families it worked just fine. The longest we stayed with another family was a year. There were problems that arose, things we had to work through, but overall the experience was a good one. It didn't destroy any lasting friendships either, but that took a lot of work afterward to keep up with those friendships after a bit of time and space.
My parents also lived communally for a while when I was young. It was great as a kid, but my parent's experience was very different from what I experienced. If anyone has seen the movie, the Anarchists Cookbook, it has a lot of very interesting eye opening thoughts about communal living and the dynamics that happen within a communal setting. That's not to say that all communes experience what happens in that story, but from having done a bit of communal living myself, and having talked extensively with my own parents about it, this outcome is more likely than not, albeit, maybe not as extreme. There have been relatively successful communes over the history of communes. Theirs was a hippy experience, which in many ways wasn't the best communal experience, nor really indicative of communal experiences in general.
Here's the basic problem that I have with communes, in relation to unschooling; Unschooling operates as a family unit where the parents give their children many choices, as many as they can, in order that they'll be able to grow up knowing themselves better, learning more, and being more solidly able to make good choices for themselves as adults. All communes operate within a defined parameter that helps the commune work most effectively. Those parameters narrow the choices that a parent can give their children. I've experienced this even on a smaller level of living with just one other family. Some of those choices may be a favorable trade off for something better, like a bigger and nicer house and the ability to save money that one can use for their children. Eventually that trade off may not be so great.
The notion of communes is appealing, I'll agree wholeheartedly with that! The actual practice of it, isn't nearly as great as the idea of it!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
whether an unschooling commune would be a wonderful thing. I think
not. I think each unschooling family should exist in the real world,
whole and independent.***
I agree with this assessment. Our family has lived with other families. When it's hard enough for partners to stay together, it's even harder to make it work within a context of multiple others. Both times that we lived with other families it worked just fine. The longest we stayed with another family was a year. There were problems that arose, things we had to work through, but overall the experience was a good one. It didn't destroy any lasting friendships either, but that took a lot of work afterward to keep up with those friendships after a bit of time and space.
My parents also lived communally for a while when I was young. It was great as a kid, but my parent's experience was very different from what I experienced. If anyone has seen the movie, the Anarchists Cookbook, it has a lot of very interesting eye opening thoughts about communal living and the dynamics that happen within a communal setting. That's not to say that all communes experience what happens in that story, but from having done a bit of communal living myself, and having talked extensively with my own parents about it, this outcome is more likely than not, albeit, maybe not as extreme. There have been relatively successful communes over the history of communes. Theirs was a hippy experience, which in many ways wasn't the best communal experience, nor really indicative of communal experiences in general.
Here's the basic problem that I have with communes, in relation to unschooling; Unschooling operates as a family unit where the parents give their children many choices, as many as they can, in order that they'll be able to grow up knowing themselves better, learning more, and being more solidly able to make good choices for themselves as adults. All communes operate within a defined parameter that helps the commune work most effectively. Those parameters narrow the choices that a parent can give their children. I've experienced this even on a smaller level of living with just one other family. Some of those choices may be a favorable trade off for something better, like a bigger and nicer house and the ability to save money that one can use for their children. Eventually that trade off may not be so great.
The notion of communes is appealing, I'll agree wholeheartedly with that! The actual practice of it, isn't nearly as great as the idea of it!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Mel
Earlier this year a family that we were close to moved five hours away. Our boys were very close with all the kids in this big family. Realizing that suddenly we were faced with a big friend void, I also realized that in our area, our local homeschool group existed soley for fieldtrips. This particular HS group would not exactly meet our needs. I decided to start our own group just based on friendship and unstructured play. It couldn't have worked out better. Suddenly we found ourselves meeting all sorts of like-minded people that we didn't even know existed. We now meet up a couple times a month and its been great for our kids. Its been great for us parents too!
Mel
Mel
Pam Sorooshian
On 11/7/2009 12:52 PM, Jenny Cyphers wrote:
lived in communal housing for many many years - all the children's
lives. They love it. Unschoolers. But they have their own space and
their own jobs. Their own housing is small - but they have a little
kitchen, a small living room area, a couple of bedrooms. Outside is
beautiful - the family living spaces are separated form each other by
gardens with pathways between the housing units. Lots of space in
between - way more than we have in my suburban neighborhood. Then they
have the communal areas that are a huge big very wonderfully equipped
kitchen and dining area and lots of meeting rooms, craft rooms, etc. And
there are other smaller buildings here and there on the grounds - her
husband has one as a music studio.
They do have communal meals and they take turns with chores and they
share a LOT of stuff - there is definitely a very very sharing
atmosphere - much more than I'm comfortable with, myself (people using
each others' cars all the time, etc). But they aren't communal in the
"we're all one family" kind of commune that people sometimes think of.
For that kind of living, I do think it would be nice if the other people
were also unschoolers, to some degree, at least. It is like a
neighborhood - only a much closer neighborhood than what we usually
experience. It reminds me a LOT of the way my husband grew up in a
small town in Iran - people ate together, worked together, cooked
together, went down to the river to wash clothes together, picked fruit
together, went to the bath house together, etc. It worked well because
they had such a common culture.
My husband's sister told me she felt very sorry for Americans because we
live such isolated lifestyles - each separated into our own houses -
doing our housework alone, cooking alone, eating with just our immediate
family, not friends and neighbors and extended family, all the time.
-pam
> The notion of communes is appealing, I'll agree wholeheartedly with that! The actual practice of it, isn't nearly as great as the idea of it!There are levels, though, of communal living. I know someone who has
>
>
lived in communal housing for many many years - all the children's
lives. They love it. Unschoolers. But they have their own space and
their own jobs. Their own housing is small - but they have a little
kitchen, a small living room area, a couple of bedrooms. Outside is
beautiful - the family living spaces are separated form each other by
gardens with pathways between the housing units. Lots of space in
between - way more than we have in my suburban neighborhood. Then they
have the communal areas that are a huge big very wonderfully equipped
kitchen and dining area and lots of meeting rooms, craft rooms, etc. And
there are other smaller buildings here and there on the grounds - her
husband has one as a music studio.
They do have communal meals and they take turns with chores and they
share a LOT of stuff - there is definitely a very very sharing
atmosphere - much more than I'm comfortable with, myself (people using
each others' cars all the time, etc). But they aren't communal in the
"we're all one family" kind of commune that people sometimes think of.
For that kind of living, I do think it would be nice if the other people
were also unschoolers, to some degree, at least. It is like a
neighborhood - only a much closer neighborhood than what we usually
experience. It reminds me a LOT of the way my husband grew up in a
small town in Iran - people ate together, worked together, cooked
together, went down to the river to wash clothes together, picked fruit
together, went to the bath house together, etc. It worked well because
they had such a common culture.
My husband's sister told me she felt very sorry for Americans because we
live such isolated lifestyles - each separated into our own houses -
doing our housework alone, cooking alone, eating with just our immediate
family, not friends and neighbors and extended family, all the time.
-pam
Jenny Cyphers
***My husband's sister told me she felt very sorry for Americans because we
live such isolated lifestyles - each separated into our own houses -
doing our housework alone, cooking alone, eating with just our immediate
family, not friends and neighbors and extended family, all the time.***
This is the biggest appeal to me! I do think that our culture has grown an unnatural isolation of nuclear families. I live in a close quarters sort of area. I talk to almost all of my neighbors, I don't like all of them, but I at least know them.
One of the best parts of living with others was the lack of isolation in doing tasks together while the kids played together. Making food and eating together was also a nice aspect. We lived in a house with 2 kitchens and there were times when we seperated our families when we needed to. Eating is intimate, but sometimes families need space.
I've wondered sometimes, if the modern commune in our culture is in reaction to our culture's intense desire for sole ownership by individuals. Food is an interesting way of relinquishing ownership among individuals. As a disclaimer, I'm extrapolating from my own experiences.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
live such isolated lifestyles - each separated into our own houses -
doing our housework alone, cooking alone, eating with just our immediate
family, not friends and neighbors and extended family, all the time.***
This is the biggest appeal to me! I do think that our culture has grown an unnatural isolation of nuclear families. I live in a close quarters sort of area. I talk to almost all of my neighbors, I don't like all of them, but I at least know them.
One of the best parts of living with others was the lack of isolation in doing tasks together while the kids played together. Making food and eating together was also a nice aspect. We lived in a house with 2 kitchens and there were times when we seperated our families when we needed to. Eating is intimate, but sometimes families need space.
I've wondered sometimes, if the modern commune in our culture is in reaction to our culture's intense desire for sole ownership by individuals. Food is an interesting way of relinquishing ownership among individuals. As a disclaimer, I'm extrapolating from my own experiences.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
I would never live in communaly but having said that you can definitely create your own community without having to live together.
I have our homeschool friends and we get together, share recipes, go to movies with each other kids, the moms go to concerts, we go can and cook in each other's house, share dishes, think about each other a lot.
So when my friend got a hold of some awesome blueberries she called me and some friends to offer.
Then she invited us to her house and we all canned together!
My neighbour ( a quarter mile away as I live out in the country!) works at night and needed to live her son a few times to sleep over, no problem. We have a huge vegetable garden together in my farm and next year one of my homeschool friends wants to join in! This friend is also going to help me paint my family room next Spring!
Maybe it is because farmers grew up helping each other. If you need something you go to another farmer for help. You share machinery ( I have a combine and you have a hay baler kind of share) and you watch out for each other!
My husband was raised like that and has friends he grew up with that live very close to us!
I can see how its is nice to have a community like that.
Go out meet your neighbours, make friends, help each other out. Go visit that seniro neighbour that lives alone. Share your garden "profits"!
It may be harder for some. My mom used tlk to everyone she met and she made friends ( still does) everywhere she goes and I became just like her<VBG>!
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I have our homeschool friends and we get together, share recipes, go to movies with each other kids, the moms go to concerts, we go can and cook in each other's house, share dishes, think about each other a lot.
So when my friend got a hold of some awesome blueberries she called me and some friends to offer.
Then she invited us to her house and we all canned together!
My neighbour ( a quarter mile away as I live out in the country!) works at night and needed to live her son a few times to sleep over, no problem. We have a huge vegetable garden together in my farm and next year one of my homeschool friends wants to join in! This friend is also going to help me paint my family room next Spring!
Maybe it is because farmers grew up helping each other. If you need something you go to another farmer for help. You share machinery ( I have a combine and you have a hay baler kind of share) and you watch out for each other!
My husband was raised like that and has friends he grew up with that live very close to us!
I can see how its is nice to have a community like that.
Go out meet your neighbours, make friends, help each other out. Go visit that seniro neighbour that lives alone. Share your garden "profits"!
It may be harder for some. My mom used tlk to everyone she met and she made friends ( still does) everywhere she goes and I became just like her<VBG>!
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-Go out meet your neighbours, make friends, help each other out. Go
visit that seniro neighbour that lives alone. Share your garden
"profits"!
It may be harder for some. My mom used tlk to everyone she met and
she made friends ( still does) everywhere she goes and I became just
like her<VBG>!-=-
Or you were born like her and it's a genetic proclivity.
That's what I meant about living in the real world, though. <G>
Don't expect someone else to create a "special" artificial world where
friendships are provided.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
visit that seniro neighbour that lives alone. Share your garden
"profits"!
It may be harder for some. My mom used tlk to everyone she met and
she made friends ( still does) everywhere she goes and I became just
like her<VBG>!-=-
Or you were born like her and it's a genetic proclivity.
That's what I meant about living in the real world, though. <G>
Don't expect someone else to create a "special" artificial world where
friendships are provided.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
m_kher
--- In [email protected], Pam Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...> wrote:
We moved to this community because we wanted our kids to have access to other grown-ups, besides us. My family is entirely in India and my husband's family is rather small. So my kids don't have any aunts, uncles or cousins that they see regularly. We felt like we and they would benefit from more community.
Our community was started by a group of friends who're very active SCA members and wanted to live near each other. That attracted more SCA folks and other folks with interesting hobbies. That has been wonderful for my daughter.
Manisha
> There are levels, though, of communal living. I know someone who hasThat sounds like cohousing. We live in a cohousing community and absolutely love it. Legally speaking we live in a 3 bedroom condo with a larger than ususal "club house". Unlike a commune we don't share our income in any way beyond paying condo fees. What makes it different from any other condo association is the desire and intent to be friendly neighbors. We have communal meals about 2 times a week, but they're entirely optional.
> lived in communal housing for many many years - all the children's
> lives. They love it. Unschoolers. But they have their own space and
> their own jobs. Their own housing is small - but they have a little
> kitchen, a small living room area, a couple of bedrooms.
We moved to this community because we wanted our kids to have access to other grown-ups, besides us. My family is entirely in India and my husband's family is rather small. So my kids don't have any aunts, uncles or cousins that they see regularly. We felt like we and they would benefit from more community.
Our community was started by a group of friends who're very active SCA members and wanted to live near each other. That attracted more SCA folks and other folks with interesting hobbies. That has been wonderful for my daughter.
Manisha