Re: Tantrums
[email protected]
In a message dated 2/6/2002 6:46:13 PM Pacific Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
My just-turned-11 yo has had some tantrums lately - not at home and not over
us asking her to do things or anything like that. These are happening when
trying to work on things with some other kids. She's stamping her feet and
raising her voice and saying, emotionally, "I'm so frustrated. You aren't
LISTENING. I can't even WORK with you anymore. I GIVE UP." Stuff like
that.... and then bursting into tears and stomping off. Other times it is
that she has hurt feelings - sometimes not even over what someone has said,
but just their tone of voice.
One of the other moms sees her outbursts as manipulative attempts to just get
her own way and has told me that I should "stop letting her get away with
it." I told her that my style is to be kind and understanding at the time
and then, later, when she's totally over it - maybe in the car on the way
home - that that is the time I talk to her about what happened. This other
mom says, "If it was my kid I'd nail her butt right when it is happening,"
and she says she thinks it isn't effective to wait until later to "deal with
it." Well - she also said, "She needs to learn to use words," and I didn't
think to say it then, but she IS using words, of course, she isn't hitting
anybody or anything like that -- she's using lots of words - usually starting
out with, "Listen - are you listening? You aren't listening." And then
escalating into really loud angry emotional words.
Now - naturally - I'm spending some considerable time talking to her
privately about these outbursts. We talk about how she's feeling, what kinds
of things are happening when she starts feeling so explosive, what she's
doing when she starts getting frustrated and what ELSE she might try and what
happens when she explodes and what effect it has on others and all kinds of
stuff like that. And I've talked to her about being sure SHE is listening to
the other kids and not ONLY trying to get them to listen to her. And I've
made more effort to get her enough sleep and in not letting her get hungry
and stuff like that. She does seem to be going through a growth spurt - and
these periods of disequilibrium have always coincided with growth spurts for
her. And she's starting to develop physically - and so are her friends,
especially one of the girls she has the most trouble with who also has
similar kinds of screaming/crying meltdowns - so I'm sure hormones are
involved, as well.
So - how would you handle this?
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
> In a loving house, tantrums are almost never done for manipulation or toI wish SO MUCH that more people would understand this.
> make the parent mad. They are real moments of distress for the person
> having one and at that moment it's like you and your child are speaking
> different languages.
> Whatever brings on a tantrum has brought real confusion to a child. It's
> not being able to process what you are asking or not being able to
> articulate what they are feeling. It's not willful.
My just-turned-11 yo has had some tantrums lately - not at home and not over
us asking her to do things or anything like that. These are happening when
trying to work on things with some other kids. She's stamping her feet and
raising her voice and saying, emotionally, "I'm so frustrated. You aren't
LISTENING. I can't even WORK with you anymore. I GIVE UP." Stuff like
that.... and then bursting into tears and stomping off. Other times it is
that she has hurt feelings - sometimes not even over what someone has said,
but just their tone of voice.
One of the other moms sees her outbursts as manipulative attempts to just get
her own way and has told me that I should "stop letting her get away with
it." I told her that my style is to be kind and understanding at the time
and then, later, when she's totally over it - maybe in the car on the way
home - that that is the time I talk to her about what happened. This other
mom says, "If it was my kid I'd nail her butt right when it is happening,"
and she says she thinks it isn't effective to wait until later to "deal with
it." Well - she also said, "She needs to learn to use words," and I didn't
think to say it then, but she IS using words, of course, she isn't hitting
anybody or anything like that -- she's using lots of words - usually starting
out with, "Listen - are you listening? You aren't listening." And then
escalating into really loud angry emotional words.
Now - naturally - I'm spending some considerable time talking to her
privately about these outbursts. We talk about how she's feeling, what kinds
of things are happening when she starts feeling so explosive, what she's
doing when she starts getting frustrated and what ELSE she might try and what
happens when she explodes and what effect it has on others and all kinds of
stuff like that. And I've talked to her about being sure SHE is listening to
the other kids and not ONLY trying to get them to listen to her. And I've
made more effort to get her enough sleep and in not letting her get hungry
and stuff like that. She does seem to be going through a growth spurt - and
these periods of disequilibrium have always coincided with growth spurts for
her. And she's starting to develop physically - and so are her friends,
especially one of the girls she has the most trouble with who also has
similar kinds of screaming/crying meltdowns - so I'm sure hormones are
involved, as well.
So - how would you handle this?
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
On Thu, 7 Feb 2002 16:15:04 EST PSoroosh@... writes:
that way about her friends and about herself when it's all over. And I'd
agree with you it probably has a lot to do with hormonal changes and the
changing dynamics of her friendships if some of the others are going
through this too. Being tired or hungry or sick or hurting has a real
effect on how we interact with each other so your right on to address
those things too.
Maybe the two of you could come up with something she could do to diffuse
herself when she starts feeling anxious or stressed or frustrated.
Maybe there is a technique she could try to give herself some time to
calm. A sort of counting to ten or like smokers do, snap a rubber band
on their wrist. ( I don't really recommend the rubber band thing ) But
something she thinks would be calming.
Part of escalating frustration is not knowing any other way.
I know one girl who breaths deeply and swoops her hair away and up like a
pony tail. It's part physical action to redirect the adrenaline and part
physically cooling.
Remember that this is a physical thing that's happening to her and a
physical action to counter it might be more effective. People
instinctively know this which is why, sadly, lots of people who get to a
highly agitated state physically hurt themselves or someone else. And in
old movies when someone is hysterical the hero gives them a good slap.
Your daughter's not hitting anyone else, so that's something!
I used to have a huge problem with anger and I found the best way for me
to diffuse it was with regular physical activity. I run. When I'm mad I
run farther! = )
Maybe this would help your daughter, if she likes swimming or dancing or
something. I don't know.
I think the most important thing is that you're not jumping all over her.
I'm sorry about that other mother, but you're right not to listen to
her. Nobody wants to feel this way! Keep talking to her and telling
her she's ok and that she'll find a more comfortable way to cope. And
tell her not to listen to that other mother too, just in case.
Deb L
>Just the way you are, with loving kindness. She doesn't want to feel
> So - how would you handle this?
that way about her friends and about herself when it's all over. And I'd
agree with you it probably has a lot to do with hormonal changes and the
changing dynamics of her friendships if some of the others are going
through this too. Being tired or hungry or sick or hurting has a real
effect on how we interact with each other so your right on to address
those things too.
Maybe the two of you could come up with something she could do to diffuse
herself when she starts feeling anxious or stressed or frustrated.
Maybe there is a technique she could try to give herself some time to
calm. A sort of counting to ten or like smokers do, snap a rubber band
on their wrist. ( I don't really recommend the rubber band thing ) But
something she thinks would be calming.
Part of escalating frustration is not knowing any other way.
I know one girl who breaths deeply and swoops her hair away and up like a
pony tail. It's part physical action to redirect the adrenaline and part
physically cooling.
Remember that this is a physical thing that's happening to her and a
physical action to counter it might be more effective. People
instinctively know this which is why, sadly, lots of people who get to a
highly agitated state physically hurt themselves or someone else. And in
old movies when someone is hysterical the hero gives them a good slap.
Your daughter's not hitting anyone else, so that's something!
I used to have a huge problem with anger and I found the best way for me
to diffuse it was with regular physical activity. I run. When I'm mad I
run farther! = )
Maybe this would help your daughter, if she likes swimming or dancing or
something. I don't know.
I think the most important thing is that you're not jumping all over her.
I'm sorry about that other mother, but you're right not to listen to
her. Nobody wants to feel this way! Keep talking to her and telling
her she's ok and that she'll find a more comfortable way to cope. And
tell her not to listen to that other mother too, just in case.
Deb L
[email protected]
In a message dated 2/7/02 1:18:18 PM Pacific Standard Time, PSoroosh@...
writes:
<<<Now - naturally - I'm spending some considerable time talking to her
privately about these outbursts.>>>>
<< So - how would you handle this? >>
I think your handling it very lovingly and with respect. You are teaching her
to deal with her frustrations and anger through communication and your
also showing her that your do love and respect her when you don't force
the communication and then discuss later when she is ready. Maybe
then she won't grow up to be an adult with anger issues, because her mom
not only didn't listen but didn't allow her to express herself. Keep up the
communication : )
Kathy
writes:
<<<Now - naturally - I'm spending some considerable time talking to her
privately about these outbursts.>>>>
<< So - how would you handle this? >>
I think your handling it very lovingly and with respect. You are teaching her
to deal with her frustrations and anger through communication and your
also showing her that your do love and respect her when you don't force
the communication and then discuss later when she is ready. Maybe
then she won't grow up to be an adult with anger issues, because her mom
not only didn't listen but didn't allow her to express herself. Keep up the
communication : )
Kathy
[email protected]
In a message dated 2/7/02 2:18:25 PM, PSoroosh@... writes:
<< so I'm sure hormones are
involved, as well.>>
I bet that could be part of the problem Holly has lately just burst into
tears over what seems nothing, and she herself will just sob "I don't KNOW
why I'm crying."
<<So - how would you handle this? >>
Distraction. If she can't avoid the extended time with those kids, break up
the time stretch by getting her to help do something somewhere else every
half hour or so so you could check on her to see if she's maintaining?
That's my trick with Holly if she's playing with someone she's already
declared will irritate her after a while. And then I can say "How's it
going?" and if she needs to vent to do a reality check moment, or run
something by me, she can go back to the situation refreshed. It's bette than
her waiting four hours, maybe losing it with the kid, and melting down all
over everything when they're gone or she's home.
I did make recommendations to another mom this morning. There's a boy (whose
sister's Holly's friend) who bugs her and has for years. We've been asked to
give him and his sister a ride a couple of places, coming up--tomorrow and
then next Wednesday. Both times, Holly's face just fell and she had the
"GOSH I should say yes, but..." look. So she went to check with her dad
(who's driving to swimming) and while she was out of the room, I took the
phone and told the mom Holly's having a problem with the boy. We discussed
it some. It was news to the mom. She threatened to have a long, strong talk
with him. I said I thought he might just need to be asked to be nicer, and
I said he's been kinda yucky with me too, when his mom's not around.
Purposely difficult. And I said Holly didn't want him to get in big trouble,
just wanted the mom to be aware.
We'll see. I felt bad saying that, but I felt bad letting Holly come to me
repeatedly and say "I don't know what to do," and for all the suggestions and
new tactics to fail.
Sometimes I'm off one side of the tightrope, and sometimes off the other.
He'll get older, that's for sure. And probably less needy of attention. And
Holly knows that. She's had lots of longterm friendships that changed for
the better when the kids were more analytical, verbal, better at sharing.
Today was a rough, rough day here--thing after thing--and the person who
handled it best (next to Keith, who was home for his first day of a week and
a half vacation) was Kirby. Kirby was calm and collected even though his cat
is sick and we couldn't get a vet appoinment (and I was ranting about the cat
peeing on stuff--maybe he has a urinary infection...), and I had gotten Kirby
up earlier than usual, and his dad wanted him to fold a big tent, but he had
no shoes on yet and I expressed impatience, and then I made them scrambled
egg sandwiches and Kirby's had a spot of mold on the bread (Icut off the
crusts and he ate the good part, and half of Holly's--other years he would
have refused food for hours, whining), and friends of his (Crystal, a
homeschooled girl from a nearby town, and her brother, both in the SCA) were
coming for the weekend, and he'd just found out the night before they
couldn't come after all... but he was helpful, calm, kind, and smiley.
I think, but cannot prove, that if I had reacted more strongly to him when he
was the tantrum king of the family that he wouldn't be as good a guy today.
Sandra
<< so I'm sure hormones are
involved, as well.>>
I bet that could be part of the problem Holly has lately just burst into
tears over what seems nothing, and she herself will just sob "I don't KNOW
why I'm crying."
<<So - how would you handle this? >>
Distraction. If she can't avoid the extended time with those kids, break up
the time stretch by getting her to help do something somewhere else every
half hour or so so you could check on her to see if she's maintaining?
That's my trick with Holly if she's playing with someone she's already
declared will irritate her after a while. And then I can say "How's it
going?" and if she needs to vent to do a reality check moment, or run
something by me, she can go back to the situation refreshed. It's bette than
her waiting four hours, maybe losing it with the kid, and melting down all
over everything when they're gone or she's home.
I did make recommendations to another mom this morning. There's a boy (whose
sister's Holly's friend) who bugs her and has for years. We've been asked to
give him and his sister a ride a couple of places, coming up--tomorrow and
then next Wednesday. Both times, Holly's face just fell and she had the
"GOSH I should say yes, but..." look. So she went to check with her dad
(who's driving to swimming) and while she was out of the room, I took the
phone and told the mom Holly's having a problem with the boy. We discussed
it some. It was news to the mom. She threatened to have a long, strong talk
with him. I said I thought he might just need to be asked to be nicer, and
I said he's been kinda yucky with me too, when his mom's not around.
Purposely difficult. And I said Holly didn't want him to get in big trouble,
just wanted the mom to be aware.
We'll see. I felt bad saying that, but I felt bad letting Holly come to me
repeatedly and say "I don't know what to do," and for all the suggestions and
new tactics to fail.
Sometimes I'm off one side of the tightrope, and sometimes off the other.
He'll get older, that's for sure. And probably less needy of attention. And
Holly knows that. She's had lots of longterm friendships that changed for
the better when the kids were more analytical, verbal, better at sharing.
Today was a rough, rough day here--thing after thing--and the person who
handled it best (next to Keith, who was home for his first day of a week and
a half vacation) was Kirby. Kirby was calm and collected even though his cat
is sick and we couldn't get a vet appoinment (and I was ranting about the cat
peeing on stuff--maybe he has a urinary infection...), and I had gotten Kirby
up earlier than usual, and his dad wanted him to fold a big tent, but he had
no shoes on yet and I expressed impatience, and then I made them scrambled
egg sandwiches and Kirby's had a spot of mold on the bread (Icut off the
crusts and he ate the good part, and half of Holly's--other years he would
have refused food for hours, whining), and friends of his (Crystal, a
homeschooled girl from a nearby town, and her brother, both in the SCA) were
coming for the weekend, and he'd just found out the night before they
couldn't come after all... but he was helpful, calm, kind, and smiley.
I think, but cannot prove, that if I had reacted more strongly to him when he
was the tantrum king of the family that he wouldn't be as good a guy today.
Sandra
Pat Cald...
Sorry to hear today was a bad day Sandra.
Let us know how the boy is tomorrow. It will be interesting to see how the mom handles this.
I very rarely have any luck when I talk to moms about their kids. I used to think it was the way the moms would like me to handle things but have since found out most moms get too defensive and wind up justifying the kid's behavior. This usually gives the kid a sense of power over me and the situation and things usually gets worse.
What do you do when a 4 year old spits at you? This past summer we were at Allison's softball game and the coaches son spit on Virginia's chair. Of course I said, "don't spit on that chair", so he spit on me! I didn't know what to do so I said to his mother, "excuse me, I need your help, your son is spitting on me". She turned to the kid and said, "stop spitting, do you want a spanking?" The minute she turned around he spit on me again! One of the other mothers shook the kid by the shoulders and said "CUT IT OUT!" He stopped. I'm not about to scream at anyone's child.
Pat
Pat
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Let us know how the boy is tomorrow. It will be interesting to see how the mom handles this.
I very rarely have any luck when I talk to moms about their kids. I used to think it was the way the moms would like me to handle things but have since found out most moms get too defensive and wind up justifying the kid's behavior. This usually gives the kid a sense of power over me and the situation and things usually gets worse.
What do you do when a 4 year old spits at you? This past summer we were at Allison's softball game and the coaches son spit on Virginia's chair. Of course I said, "don't spit on that chair", so he spit on me! I didn't know what to do so I said to his mother, "excuse me, I need your help, your son is spitting on me". She turned to the kid and said, "stop spitting, do you want a spanking?" The minute she turned around he spit on me again! One of the other mothers shook the kid by the shoulders and said "CUT IT OUT!" He stopped. I'm not about to scream at anyone's child.
Pat
Pat
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 2/7/02 10:59:03 PM, homeschoolmd@... writes:
<< One of the other mothers shook the kid by the shoulders and said "CUT IT
OUT!" He stopped. I'm not about to scream at anyone's child. >>
I would if he spit at me twice!!
<< One of the other mothers shook the kid by the shoulders and said "CUT IT
OUT!" He stopped. I'm not about to scream at anyone's child. >>
I would if he spit at me twice!!
[email protected]
First I would tell that mother to "Shut UP!" (of course, far more politely.)
Is she saying that horrid stuff in front of the kids?
I think that you answered many of your questions yourself on how to help her
handle her anger. I think she is doing great and learning how to express
anger is a long process. I believe that many people don't allow children to
express their emotions, and it's ok to do that. We don't always have to fix
everything.
Elissa, who will soon be singing
Yippee - Kai - Yay!
Is she saying that horrid stuff in front of the kids?
I think that you answered many of your questions yourself on how to help her
handle her anger. I think she is doing great and learning how to express
anger is a long process. I believe that many people don't allow children to
express their emotions, and it's ok to do that. We don't always have to fix
everything.
Elissa, who will soon be singing
Yippee - Kai - Yay!
Pat Cald...
<< One of the other mothers shook the kid by the shoulders and said "CUT IT
OUT!" He stopped. I'm not about to scream at anyone's child. >>
Pat
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
OUT!" He stopped. I'm not about to scream at anyone's child. >>
>I would if he spit at me twice!!I guess that is why he did it twice. He knew I wouldn't do anything. Boy, I'm just not good at these things. I don't scream at my own kids in response to certain behaviors. I guess some kids only know screaming or spanking.
Pat
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Max (2 1/2) has been going through a hitting stage. When he would hit me or
spit on me or whatever. I would say to him. I don't deserve to be treated
that way. With a very firm voice and then get up and walk away.
He would cry and then come over and try to make up. I would hug him and then
talk about it with him.
Now, your situation was a little different because you are not related to
the child spitting.
If this was an adult, what would you do? Probably remove yourself from the
situation. You said. "He knew I wouldn't do anything" you mean you would
just sit and take it? Or do you mean you wouldn't hit or yell? There's ways
to respond to someone that teaches them what they are doing is wrong or
hurtful without yelling. Just like your own kids aren't yelled at.
I am always saying to Emily, If he's bothering you remove yourself! YOu can
only change one person in life. You.
I have found that walking away, after saying something like, "I don't want
to be around you becasue you are hitting me" and then leaving is VERY
effective with young children and then the other parent can't claim you were
trying to discipline their child (I'm sure you've run into the type: "Don't
you dare tell my child what to do. That's MY job!")
Elissa, who will soon be singing
Yippee - Kai - Yay!
spit on me or whatever. I would say to him. I don't deserve to be treated
that way. With a very firm voice and then get up and walk away.
He would cry and then come over and try to make up. I would hug him and then
talk about it with him.
Now, your situation was a little different because you are not related to
the child spitting.
If this was an adult, what would you do? Probably remove yourself from the
situation. You said. "He knew I wouldn't do anything" you mean you would
just sit and take it? Or do you mean you wouldn't hit or yell? There's ways
to respond to someone that teaches them what they are doing is wrong or
hurtful without yelling. Just like your own kids aren't yelled at.
I am always saying to Emily, If he's bothering you remove yourself! YOu can
only change one person in life. You.
I have found that walking away, after saying something like, "I don't want
to be around you becasue you are hitting me" and then leaving is VERY
effective with young children and then the other parent can't claim you were
trying to discipline their child (I'm sure you've run into the type: "Don't
you dare tell my child what to do. That's MY job!")
Elissa, who will soon be singing
Yippee - Kai - Yay!
[email protected]
In a message dated 2/8/02 7:59:37 AM, ElissaJC@... writes:
<< (I'm sure you've run into the type: "Don't
you dare tell my child what to do. That's MY job!") >>
I haven't much, but the response to that is "Then do it."
Or "You weren't there, and my child was. Spitting is not acceptable."
Or "Then you better stay with him all the time because he's not behaving well
when you're gone."
<< (I'm sure you've run into the type: "Don't
you dare tell my child what to do. That's MY job!") >>
I haven't much, but the response to that is "Then do it."
Or "You weren't there, and my child was. Spitting is not acceptable."
Or "Then you better stay with him all the time because he's not behaving well
when you're gone."
[email protected]
Wow, I love those answers.
I tend to not be able to think them up on the spot. Now I'll be able to!
Elissa, who will soon be singing
Yippee - Kai - Yay!
-----Original Message-----
From: SandraDodd@... <SandraDodd@...>
To: [email protected] <[email protected]>
Date: Friday, February 08, 2002 10:27 AM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Tantrums
I tend to not be able to think them up on the spot. Now I'll be able to!
Elissa, who will soon be singing
Yippee - Kai - Yay!
-----Original Message-----
From: SandraDodd@... <SandraDodd@...>
To: [email protected] <[email protected]>
Date: Friday, February 08, 2002 10:27 AM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Tantrums
>well
>In a message dated 2/8/02 7:59:37 AM, ElissaJC@... writes:
>
><< (I'm sure you've run into the type: "Don't
>you dare tell my child what to do. That's MY job!") >>
>
>I haven't much, but the response to that is "Then do it."
>Or "You weren't there, and my child was. Spitting is not acceptable."
>Or "Then you better stay with him all the time because he's not behaving
>when you're gone."
>
>
>To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>[email protected]
>
>
>
>Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
>
Dan Vilter
> << One of the other mothers shook the kid by the shoulders and said "CUT ITI try to do the opposite of all that screaming they are used to. I work
> OUT!" He stopped. I'm not about to scream at anyone's child. >>
>
>> I would if he spit at me twice!!
>
> I guess that is why he did it twice. He knew I wouldn't do anything. Boy,
> I'm just not good at these things. I don't scream at my own kids in response
> to certain behaviors. I guess some kids only know screaming or spanking.
against the emotion. In a quite and deliberate voice with only the slightest
hint that there might be rage held in check, I ask, in one form or another,
what they were searching for with there behavior or is there some way I
could help them. Usually it freaks them out. They aren't used to that
direct attention that is personal to them. About half the time I get
recognition of the problem but almost always the behavior is modified.
-Dan Vilter
Sharon Rudd
She turned to the kid and said,
language his mother could understand. Too bad, we
can't save everyone.
Sharon of the Swamp
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
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> "stop spitting, do you want a spanking?" The minuteThat kid was screaming for help. Just not in the
> she turned around he spit on me again! One of the
> other mothers shook the kid by the shoulders and
> said "CUT IT OUT!" He stopped. I'm not about to
> scream at anyone's child.
>
> Pat
language his mother could understand. Too bad, we
can't save everyone.
Sharon of the Swamp
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Send FREE Valentine eCards with Yahoo! Greetings!
http://greetings.yahoo.com
Nanci Kuykendall
>>If this was an adult, what would you do?This got me thinking Pat. I guess I have had a lot of
>I have never been in a situation with an adult where
>something so totally unprovoked has occurred. So I
>guess I would think the adult was a little crazy and
>leave.
violence in my life. Maybe that is part of the reason
that I don't want to live in a city now that I have
kids of my own. I remember when I was 5 and a
neighbor kid from down the street was hassling me. I
said something Like "Go away, this is my yard" or
something and he punched me in the face so hard he
knocked out one of my teeth. I don't remember that my
parents ever did anything about it, or talked to me
about it, except to say that I shouldn't be so sassy
or seomthing to that affect. When I was older, the
same neighbor sicked his dog on me. I got beat up in
school plenty, because I spoke my mind when others
were stepping on me. I also had plenty of dangerous
encounters on the streets, public busses and other
places with gangs of young people. Every one who ever
attacked me was male. I have never been in a physical
altercation with a female.
It occurs to me now, since I have moved away from
cities, changed the kind of people in my life and
grown more, that I have not had a situation where I
was physically afraid for my safety in some time. I
was afraid almost all the time when I was a kid. I
guess guess things are different when you grow up in
an abusive environment. I am having a hard time
coming to terms with having boys and the agressive
ways that they play with each other sometimes. I am
very sensative to it and I sometimes get short with
them about it.
>Dh was brought up to fight back with the idea thatHAHA...I can tell you from personal experience THAT
>you won't get picked on if you end the problem right
>there.
doesn't work. It just give the kid doing the abusing
a legitimate (in their mind) excuse for their
behavior.
Nanci K.
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Pat Cald...
>I remember when I was 5 and a neighbor kid from down the street was >hassling me. I said something Like "Go away, this is my yard" orNancy, what a terrible way to have to grow up. I can't imagine what it must have been like.
>something and he punched me in the face so hard he
>knocked out one of my teeth. I don't remember that my
>parents ever did anything about it, or talked to me
>about it, except to say that I shouldn't be so sassy
>or seomthing to that affect. When I was older, the
>same neighbor sicked his dog on me. I got beat up in
>school plenty, because I spoke my mind when others
>were stepping on me. I also had plenty of dangerous
>encounters on the streets, public busses and other
>places with gangs of young people. Every one who ever
>attacked me was male. I have never been in a physical
>altercation with a female.
Pat
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