Crystal Miller

<<The sandwich could be wrapped up for later, too. Maybe you or your
husband would want it for a snack later if the kids don't, but it doesn't
need to be eaten RIGHT then.>>



You could make it and then cut it in four squares. Give your kiddo one
square and immediately bag the rest and put in fridge. Then if kiddo wants
more, it's there and if it's not eaten by kiddo, then it's pretty fresh for
someone else. This might take the 'waste' irritation from your brain. Hey,
and hubby will be very happy that something is all ready for his taking.
Dave LOVES when I have items ready in the fridge. Ohhhhh, and kiddo can
then grab said piece of sandwich as wishes also. Hmmm, win/win and win!



<<-=-What is one more glass? -=->>



Sorscha used to be a glass maniac. We came up with a few solutions that
worked for both of us. She keeps a glass at the kitchen sink (she'll run in
and grab a drink) and also in the bathroom. Then she also keeps a giant
tumbler with no spill lid at her computer area / family room. I will clean
it and refill everyday. As for glasses outside, we have a cabana with a
fridge full of drinks. I keep water bottles in there and have a trashcan in
the area.



Sorscha and I are quite opposite in our lifeways. I've tried to come up
with solutions that work for both of us instead of being 'BitchMom'. I don't
want 'BM to be my legacy. Sorscha is a snacker (maybe your kiddo is also).
She rarely eats what I would consider a meal. I've found that if I keep
easy, small 'foods' on hand for her, then she'll just grab and go. Sooo,
the fridge is full of precut veggies and fruits. It's also filled with easy
grab lunchable type things (you can make these yourself or purchase). The
pantry is filled with 'grab' containers with lids. Now that she's older I
have EasyMac and other quickie hot options available (she's not into using
the stove at this point so they need to be microwave ready). About 1/2 the
time she prefers me to gather her food and bring it to her (it's because she
loves me) and the other 1/2 she grabs herself. I also keep trashcans in
several rooms. This helps the trash get to where it needs to go and not on
the floor. Win/Win again. Hey, and often times I will come into the family
room area and just pick up the wrappers, etc. that don't make it in the
trash but since THERE IS a trashbag in here it's not a big deal.



For me, the goal is finding solutions and not 'bitch' opportunities. The
other day I came home to find a huge mess from the contractor and the
neighbor's irrigation ditch (that flows through our yard) had overflowed by
about 25 feet into the chicken coop and Sorscha's sandbox. I was like a
two-year-old (I was already tired and hungry from a long day) and I began to
cry being overwhelmed and all. Fortunately Dave was pulling in the driveway
and saved the day. Husbands' rock! Later in the evening when Sorscha and I
were hanging for bed I said, "Sorry I was a wienie today." Sorscha said,
"Your not a penis Mom, your a vagina." I just thought that was funny and
that I would share. Sorscha could have chosen to say something rude or mean
(the way that some Mommies choose to). She could become BitchKid - it would
make sense if I chose to model BitchMom. Instead, she chose humor and
love. Kids' rock!

~Crystal~

http://livingtheliquidlife.blogspot.com/

Sandra Dodd

-=I began to
cry being overwhelmed and all. Fortunately Dave was pulling in the
driveway
and saved the day. Husbands' rock! Later in the evening when Sorscha
and I
were hanging for bed I said, "Sorry I was a wienie today." Sorscha said,
"Your not a penis Mom, your a vagina." I just thought that was funny and
that I would share. Sorscha could have chosen to say something rude
or mean
(the way that some Mommies choose to). She could become BitchKid - it
would
make sense if I chose to model BitchMom. Instead, she chose humor and
love. Kids' rock!-=-



The other day Holly and I had an argument, and were both really not
liking the other. It involved us cleaning things out of Kirby's room
so she can use it for other purposes. We said we'd save it for a
year in case he wanted to move back. His year's almost up, he's up
for a promotion; he's not moving back.



We were not agreeing on what and how and each of us felt put-upon and
resentful, and we got into the cutting comments. I left the house,
saying I was gong to go buy some more plastic tubs. The store was
out, but just being outside in the air and wind and being able to
breathe without Holly looking at me was good.

While I was gone, she went and talked to Keith who was doing a jigsaw
puzzle a few rooms away (the library, for those who know where
Kirby's room is/was). He had heard the sniping, and he heard Holly's
side. Then I came home, cleaned a little more (packing up toys,
actually, more than cleaning) and then went and sat with Keith at the
puzzle table.

Keith's responses were perfect, and soothing, and he said he knew
Holly's side, and was willing to tell me if I wanted to know, and I
said no, I didn't want to know, because I didn't care. I was still
frustrated and felt like I didn't love her. I knew it would pass,
but it hadn't passed yet.

He was sweet and patient (getting older helps <g>), and let me vent a
bit and then just work the puzzle with him and be calmer.

Of course Holly and I were fine after a while and I loved her and
she has been sweet since. It was a bad half hour, not even a bad
afternoon.



But about Sorscha's humor, I just want to take this out by itself for
a moment:

-=-"Sorry I was a wienie today." Sorscha said, "Your not a penis Mom,
your a vagina." -=-

I was just thinking what the percentage of families might be in which
that would be considered humor and not the worst possible thing a
child could say, that would bring a rain of shame and punishment
down. Most kids aren't allowed to use ANY humor that would
challenge a parents pronouncements in the last way.

And most parents don't apologize to their kids.

Aren't our kids all really lucky!??

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

k

When me and his dad were separated, our then 4 year old ds used the word
"penis" at the caretaker's dinner table. It was a huge offense for her and
soon afterward she quit. This after raving and saying he was a model child
(whatever that is) for several weeks. It took one word to turn that around
for her. Ds was crushed because she was very vocal about him being a
problem for her.

Contrast that with a few minutes ago. We were looking at a funny email (it
was something about global warming). There's a picture of some humanoid
grilling utensils with two hot dogs grilling on the appropriate appendages,
and ds said... "So *that's* why they're called wieners!" We just chuckled
and said yeah! Very cute and funny.

~Katherine




On 7/12/08, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=I began to
> cry being overwhelmed and all. Fortunately Dave was pulling in the
> driveway
> and saved the day. Husbands' rock! Later in the evening when Sorscha
> and I
> were hanging for bed I said, "Sorry I was a wienie today." Sorscha said,
> "Your not a penis Mom, your a vagina." I just thought that was funny and
> that I would share. Sorscha could have chosen to say something rude
> or mean
> (the way that some Mommies choose to). She could become BitchKid - it
> would
> make sense if I chose to model BitchMom. Instead, she chose humor and
> love. Kids' rock!-=-
>
> The other day Holly and I had an argument, and were both really not
> liking the other. It involved us cleaning things out of Kirby's room
> so she can use it for other purposes. We said we'd save it for a
> year in case he wanted to move back. His year's almost up, he's up
> for a promotion; he's not moving back.
>
> We were not agreeing on what and how and each of us felt put-upon and
> resentful, and we got into the cutting comments. I left the house,
> saying I was gong to go buy some more plastic tubs. The store was
> out, but just being outside in the air and wind and being able to
> breathe without Holly looking at me was good.
>
> While I was gone, she went and talked to Keith who was doing a jigsaw
> puzzle a few rooms away (the library, for those who know where
> Kirby's room is/was). He had heard the sniping, and he heard Holly's
> side. Then I came home, cleaned a little more (packing up toys,
> actually, more than cleaning) and then went and sat with Keith at the
> puzzle table.
>
> Keith's responses were perfect, and soothing, and he said he knew
> Holly's side, and was willing to tell me if I wanted to know, and I
> said no, I didn't want to know, because I didn't care. I was still
> frustrated and felt like I didn't love her. I knew it would pass,
> but it hadn't passed yet.
>
> He was sweet and patient (getting older helps <g>), and let me vent a
> bit and then just work the puzzle with him and be calmer.
>
> Of course Holly and I were fine after a while and I loved her and
> she has been sweet since. It was a bad half hour, not even a bad
> afternoon.
>
> But about Sorscha's humor, I just want to take this out by itself for
> a moment:
>
> -=-"Sorry I was a wienie today." Sorscha said, "Your not a penis Mom,
> your a vagina." -=-
>
> I was just thinking what the percentage of families might be in which
> that would be considered humor and not the worst possible thing a
> child could say, that would bring a rain of shame and punishment
> down. Most kids aren't allowed to use ANY humor that would
> challenge a parents pronouncements in the last way.
>
> And most parents don't apologize to their kids.
>
> Aren't our kids all really lucky!??
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]