momto3blessings2001

I recently plunged into the world of unschooling. It just makes so much sense to me, and my
kids are doing awesome. We've been at this for about 2 weeks now, and in so short a time,
I've seen huge changes.

Dh is on vacation from work and is upset that I'm not "teaching" the children. He had a fit
when one of our 5yo twins couldn't read a name while playing the game Guess Who. He says
I'm not preparing them for the real world, and I'll make them behind and that raising them in
a stress free environment will stunt them for when they have to have deadlines and such.

He's too upset to talk at the moment, so I'm trying to figure out what I can say to him to help
him see why this is a good thing, and why I'm not ruining them. My children are all extremely
bright, and my 8 year old has always tested way above average, so I couldn't ruin them that
much.

Thanks,

Emily

Sandra Dodd

-=-He's too upset to talk at the moment, so I'm trying to figure out
what I can say to him to help
him see why this is a good thing, and why I'm not ruining them-=-



Maybe tell him to let you try it for a year and see how it goes and
if they're not learning you can try something different, but that
during that year you'd like for him to read here:

http://joyfullyrejoycing.com/

It's not that my site's not useful, but Joyce's might appeal more,
and will seem like one page (which it isn't) while mine seems like
hundreds (and it is).

I think that will fix it all up.



Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

Just know you're not alone. There are many moms out there unschooling to one degree or another with husbands distanced from this process to one degree or another. In my little experience, some of them 'come around'. I do firmly agree that is you can get him to read the site joyful learning he will be influenced at least a little.
>From: momto3blessings2001 <emily@...>
>Date: 2007/11/16 Fri PM 02:28:54 CST
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Dh thinks I'm ruining the kids

>
>I recently plunged into the world of unschooling. It just makes so much sense to me, and my
>kids are doing awesome. We've been at this for about 2 weeks now, and in so short a time,
>I've seen huge changes.
>
>Dh is on vacation from work and is upset that I'm not "teaching" the children. He had a fit
>when one of our 5yo twins couldn't read a name while playing the game Guess Who. He says
>I'm not preparing them for the real world, and I'll make them behind and that raising them in
>a stress free environment will stunt them for when they have to have deadlines and such.
>
>He's too upset to talk at the moment, so I'm trying to figure out what I can say to him to help
>him see why this is a good thing, and why I'm not ruining them. My children are all extremely
>bright, and my 8 year old has always tested way above average, so I couldn't ruin them that
>much.
>
>Thanks,
>
>Emily
>
>

Robyn L. Coburn

<<<<< > He's too upset to talk at the moment, so I'm trying to figure out
what I can say to him to help
> him see why this is a good thing, and why I'm not ruining them. >>>

There are some Unschooling Dads lists where he can find reassurance from
other dads too - in addition to reading at Joyce and Sandra's site.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SSUDs/

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/UnschoolingDads/

<<< my 8 year old has always tested way above average >>>>

Part of Unschooling is the willingness to let go of this kind of external
school-based validation. I don't know how hard that will be for you or your
dh. "Above average", "gifted", "advanced" - these are all labels that are
equally as irrelevant to the individual unschooling child's journey as
"behind", "slow" or "late" are. All a child's intelligences (see Howard
Gardiner) are celebrated in Unschooling, not just those that look like
academics.

It is really great to get to the place when these past tests don't matter.

Robyn L. Coburn

harmony

I don't have much advice as to what to tell your husband, because I'm in the same boat. My kids are 8 and 10 and have always been unschooled. DH still asked them several times a week if they did their school work today. They usually just respond by telling him what they've been doing. He is gradually getting better, but it takes a long time. When the kids were 4 and 6 he got mad at me because they didn't know who Christopher Columbus was (even in school I don't know that they would know at that age) He still says on a regular basis how much I am doing a disservice for my children and they don't even know who christopher columbus is(they do know now).
Well every couple days I put a trivia question up on our chalk board. The kids love guessing the answers or looking online to find the answer and write it on board. It's just a game we've been doing for the last year or so...useless trivia! The question this week was How much water flows over niagra falls every second? The kids got books from the library and looked on the internet which led their interests to other things and they actually learned a whole lot more than how much water. But, DH's response that he wrote on the board was "why in the world would anyone ever need to know that?" I asked him why they need to learn half the stuff that parents feel their kids "need" to learn. He said "I don't know" ...my thoughts exactly.

I know I'm rambling on but here is a funny story...One day my son decided that he was done with homeschooling because I asked him to clean his rabbits cage (that was the deal we have every time he gets a new animal, and yes he has a lot and I do help a lot, but we had an agreement and I was busy, so it was his turn to clean it) He decided he's going to school. I told him we could pretend like he was in school and I'd give him work to do and if he did it for 2 weeks and still wanted to go, I'd let him. Well it lasted about 10 minutes and he snuck into his room to work on a physics project instead of doing the work I gave him to do. I went in and told him(in a very teacher-like way) if he wants to be in school then he needs to sit at the table and do his work. He said I just can't do school, I'm not ready to learn anything! Well, maybe he didn't realize he was doing physics!

So anyway, my best advice would be to point out to your husband what the kids are doing and what abilities they do have and that might help with his fears.
Harmony


> -------Original Message-------
> From: momto3blessings2001 <emily@...>
> Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Dh thinks I'm ruining the kids
> Sent: Nov 16 '07 2:28pm
>
> I recently plunged into the world of unschooling. It just makes so much
> sense to me, and my
> kids are doing awesome. We've been at this for about 2 weeks now, and in
> so short a time,
> I've seen huge changes.
>
> Dh is on vacation from work and is upset that I'm not "teaching" the
> children. He had a fit
> when one of our 5yo twins couldn't read a name while playing the game
> Guess Who. He says
> I'm not preparing them for the real world, and I'll make them behind and
> that raising them in
> a stress free environment will stunt them for when they have to have
> deadlines and such.
>
> He's too upset to talk at the moment, so I'm trying to figure out what I
> can say to him to help
> him see why this is a good thing, and why I'm not ruining them. My
> children are all extremely
> bright, and my 8 year old has always tested way above average, so I
> couldn't ruin them that
> much.
>
> Thanks,
>
> Emily
>
>