Tina

Hey everyone. I just wanted to post and let you all know whats been
going on with us lately. I have to say that I love being part of this
group, it is so encouraging and informative.
My son is going through his "binge" stage with tv. Since we have taken
all the limits off. Its been going on for about 3 months or more now.
He has found so many cool shows that he likes. Some of his favs are
Martin Mystery, Kappa Mikey and pretty much anything that is on
Nickolodeon. He likes it when I sit and watch tv with him and asks
questions alot about the shows hes watching. I want to thank this
group for being so helpful with this transition and Sandra your peice
about the myths of tv was very helpful.
My daughter watches tv most of the time with her brother but enjoys
doing workbooks and art sometimes.
My toddler watches tv too but is usually with me wherever I may be in
the house.
I purchased the books that some people on this site recommended - The
explosive child, the spirited child, how to talk so your kids will
listen and siblings without rivalry. I am currently spending alot of
time with the siblings without rivalry one b/c the kids fight alot
with each other and I want to learn the most positive way to deal with
it. I know it must be difficult for them having to be together all the
time so I have started to provide oppurtunities for them to be
seperated like spending the night at a friends house.
We also take them out individually and that has made a significant
difference.
Last night after I cleaned the kids room I was reading a story to my
oldest son and my daughter wanted me to read her a story. So I told
her that I would read hers after I was done with the other. She got
really upset and pulled all the books off the bottom bookshelf. I said
that it made me really sad b/c I just cleaned the room. I havent got
to putting them back yet and she tried to help a little on her own-but
it is really hard to get all the books back in there. I tried to
handle that situation in a good way. I wasnt condisending or anything
like that with my tone-but it really did make me sad cuase I had spent
all that time cleaning. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I
couldve handled that differently?
I went through a little burnout for about a week. It sucked but I
tried to stay positive through it. I think I did pretty good.
And my husband seems to be going through a burnout right now. But he
works outside (in florida) doing glass work so hes up and down ladders
all day carrying heavy peices of glass in the hot sun. I think that
plays alot into it. I try to keep the house cool when he gets home so
it is comfy here for him.
I know this is long but I havent posted for awhile and just wanted to
post a little something. One Love~Tina

tracy

Hi~

You said...

>> So I told
> her that I would read hers after I was done with the other.

Something that I have found that works with this type of situation is
inviting her to join you now and listen to that book...then read
hers. Sometimes I'm not sure if that will be OK with the child I was
already doing something with so I throw out a couple of
suggestions..."How about we all read together OR you grab another
book and be near by whlie I finish this one with your brother." There
are many possibilties!! I find that usually what the "need" is, is to
be included ;-)

Also about TV...I found that when I *really* let go of my old beliefs
about it OR anything the process moves more quickly. Just something
to think about. You sound like your doing great, remember it's a
process!

Tracy in SC






--- In [email protected], "Tina" <kunjaana@...> wrote:
>
> Hey everyone. I just wanted to post and let you all know whats been
> going on with us lately. I have to say that I love being part of
this
> group, it is so encouraging and informative.
> My son is going through his "binge" stage with tv. Since we have
taken
> all the limits off. Its been going on for about 3 months or more
now.
> He has found so many cool shows that he likes. Some of his favs are
> Martin Mystery, Kappa Mikey and pretty much anything that is on
> Nickolodeon. He likes it when I sit and watch tv with him and asks
> questions alot about the shows hes watching. I want to thank this
> group for being so helpful with this transition and Sandra your
peice
> about the myths of tv was very helpful.
> My daughter watches tv most of the time with her brother but enjoys
> doing workbooks and art sometimes.
> My toddler watches tv too but is usually with me wherever I may be
in
> the house.
> I purchased the books that some people on this site recommended -
The
> explosive child, the spirited child, how to talk so your kids will
> listen and siblings without rivalry. I am currently spending alot
of
> time with the siblings without rivalry one b/c the kids fight alot
> with each other and I want to learn the most positive way to deal
with
> it. I know it must be difficult for them having to be together all
the
> time so I have started to provide oppurtunities for them to be
> seperated like spending the night at a friends house.
> We also take them out individually and that has made a significant
> difference.
> Last night after I cleaned the kids room I was reading a story to
my
> oldest son and my daughter wanted me to read her a story. So I told
> her that I would read hers after I was done with the other. She got
> really upset and pulled all the books off the bottom bookshelf. I
said
> that it made me really sad b/c I just cleaned the room. I havent
got
> to putting them back yet and she tried to help a little on her own-
but
> it is really hard to get all the books back in there. I tried to
> handle that situation in a good way. I wasnt condisending or
anything
> like that with my tone-but it really did make me sad cuase I had
spent
> all that time cleaning. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I
> couldve handled that differently?
> I went through a little burnout for about a week. It sucked but I
> tried to stay positive through it. I think I did pretty good.
> And my husband seems to be going through a burnout right now. But
he
> works outside (in florida) doing glass work so hes up and down
ladders
> all day carrying heavy peices of glass in the hot sun. I think
that
> plays alot into it. I try to keep the house cool when he gets home
so
> it is comfy here for him.
> I know this is long but I havent posted for awhile and just wanted
to
> post a little something. One Love~Tina
>

Tina

You know-I did make all those suggestions and just forgot to post
them. Nothing was working. I felt really bad b/c I wanted to meet
her needs and just didnt know what to do. But thanks for the
suggestions. Sorry I forgot to post the other suggestions I made. It
happened late last night and I was up early this morning!

--- In [email protected], "tracy" <tracyliebmann@...>
wrote:
>
> Hi~
>
> You said...
>
> >> So I told
> > her that I would read hers after I was done with the other.
>
> Something that I have found that works with this type of situation
is
> inviting her to join you now and listen to that book...then read
> hers. Sometimes I'm not sure if that will be OK with the child I
was
> already doing something with so I throw out a couple of
> suggestions..."How about we all read together OR you grab another
> book and be near by whlie I finish this one with your brother."
There
> are many possibilties!! I find that usually what the "need" is, is
to
> be included ;-)
>
> Also about TV...I found that when I *really* let go of my old
beliefs
> about it OR anything the process moves more quickly. Just
something
> to think about. You sound like your doing great, remember it's a
> process!
>
> Tracy in SC
>
>
>
>
>
>
> --- In [email protected], "Tina" <kunjaana@> wrote:
> >
> > Hey everyone. I just wanted to post and let you all know whats
been
> > going on with us lately. I have to say that I love being part of
> this
> > group, it is so encouraging and informative.
> > My son is going through his "binge" stage with tv. Since we have
> taken
> > all the limits off. Its been going on for about 3 months or more
> now.
> > He has found so many cool shows that he likes. Some of his favs
are
> > Martin Mystery, Kappa Mikey and pretty much anything that is on
> > Nickolodeon. He likes it when I sit and watch tv with him and
asks
> > questions alot about the shows hes watching. I want to thank
this
> > group for being so helpful with this transition and Sandra your
> peice
> > about the myths of tv was very helpful.
> > My daughter watches tv most of the time with her brother but
enjoys
> > doing workbooks and art sometimes.
> > My toddler watches tv too but is usually with me wherever I may
be
> in
> > the house.
> > I purchased the books that some people on this site recommended -

> The
> > explosive child, the spirited child, how to talk so your kids
will
> > listen and siblings without rivalry. I am currently spending
alot
> of
> > time with the siblings without rivalry one b/c the kids fight
alot
> > with each other and I want to learn the most positive way to
deal
> with
> > it. I know it must be difficult for them having to be together
all
> the
> > time so I have started to provide oppurtunities for them to be
> > seperated like spending the night at a friends house.
> > We also take them out individually and that has made a
significant
> > difference.
> > Last night after I cleaned the kids room I was reading a story
to
> my
> > oldest son and my daughter wanted me to read her a story. So I
told
> > her that I would read hers after I was done with the other. She
got
> > really upset and pulled all the books off the bottom bookshelf.
I
> said
> > that it made me really sad b/c I just cleaned the room. I havent
> got
> > to putting them back yet and she tried to help a little on her
own-
> but
> > it is really hard to get all the books back in there. I tried to
> > handle that situation in a good way. I wasnt condisending or
> anything
> > like that with my tone-but it really did make me sad cuase I had
> spent
> > all that time cleaning. Does anyone have any suggestions on how
I
> > couldve handled that differently?
> > I went through a little burnout for about a week. It sucked but
I
> > tried to stay positive through it. I think I did pretty good.
> > And my husband seems to be going through a burnout right now.
But
> he
> > works outside (in florida) doing glass work so hes up and down
> ladders
> > all day carrying heavy peices of glass in the hot sun. I think
> that
> > plays alot into it. I try to keep the house cool when he gets
home
> so
> > it is comfy here for him.
> > I know this is long but I havent posted for awhile and just
wanted
> to
> > post a little something. One Love~Tina
> >
>

hmsdragonfly

> She got really upset and pulled all the books off the bottom
> bookshelf.

Focusing on the first part of this rather than the second might help.
Something powerful was working in her, something bigger than she knew
how to handle. You mentioned the sibling rivalry (aka insecurity), so
that might have been it, but I wouldn't assume anything. At the signs
of increasing upset, I might have said to your son, "Your sister is
in a big hurry for some reason. Do you mind if we read her book
first?" Not all kids would go for it, of course, but many would.

The image of your daughter making an effort to put the books away is
very moving! What a sweet kid! And she already knows the immortal
lesson of the Traveling Wilburys:

I've been uptight and made a mess,
But I'll clean it up myself I guess,
Oh the sweet smell of success,
Handle me with care.

df

Sandra Dodd

-=-I might have said to your son, "Your sister is
in a big hurry for some reason. Do you mind if we read her book
first?" Not all kids would go for it, of course, but many would.-=-

That seems like the best of all ideas, or just give up on the book
reading altogether and sing a song they both like or know, or go
outside and lie down and look at the stars (if you live where that's
possible, either seeing stars or lying down on the ground; both are
pretty doable in New Mexico but we don't have fog or chiggers).

-=-the immortal
lesson of the Traveling Wilburys...

If you're going to quote songs (which I'm all for), maybe go here and
do it too:
http://lyricsgame.blogspot.com/
the current word is "road"--

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tina

Thanks alot to the both of you-that was very helpful!
We would love to go outside and look at the stars! My son has a
telescope. What a cool idea!

--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
wrote:
>
> -=-I might have said to your son, "Your sister is
> in a big hurry for some reason. Do you mind if we read her book
> first?" Not all kids would go for it, of course, but many would.-=-
>
> That seems like the best of all ideas, or just give up on the
book
> reading altogether and sing a song they both like or know, or go
> outside and lie down and look at the stars (if you live where
that's
> possible, either seeing stars or lying down on the ground; both
are
> pretty doable in New Mexico but we don't have fog or chiggers).
>
> -=-the immortal
> lesson of the Traveling Wilburys...
>
> If you're going to quote songs (which I'm all for), maybe go here
and
> do it too:
> http://lyricsgame.blogspot.com/
> the current word is "road"--
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>