M. Alterman

-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]

Sent: Wednesday, May 03, 2006 4:23 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Digest Number 1895

There are 4 messages in this issue.

Topics in this digest:

1. confused about unschooling
From: "mascire2" amiersa2@...
2. Re: confused about unschooling
From: "Sandra Dodd" Sandra@...
3. Re: Why I love TV
From: "Queana" queana7@...
4. Re: Why I love TV
From: "Sandra Dodd" Sandra@...

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Message 1
From: "mascire2" amiersa2@...
Date: Tue May 2, 2006 9:53pm(PDT)
Subject: confused about unschooling

I have asked for help before, and here I am again. I don't post much
at all, but I am starting to feel like I just don't get unschooling.
In theory, yes it makes total sense to me. And, the thought of
sending my kids to school just doesn't make sense to me. (And the
fact that they don't want to). My problem is that I read about all
of these cool, fun things that other people do, and I just don't see
that happening for us. I have all of these ideas in my head, but
seem to have a hard time bringing them to fruition. I feel like a
deadbeat. I am not writing this to get sympathy, I know that is not
what this list is all about. I am getting some help for anxiety, so
that is part of my problem. I am overwelmed with "should be's",
which leads to anxiety,which leads to me doing nothing. Maybe I need
to be de-schooled more?! I think if someone told me what to do with
the kids each day, I could do it. I know unschooling isn't like this
though.

My kids are watching too much tv right now because they are bored. I
have read so many books and articles and it all makes complete
sense. It is putting these things into real life that I don't get.
My kids don't have these cool projects going on. They do play
outside alot, and with some neighbor kids, and they are each taking
a class (gymnastics and trampoline). It just doesn't feel "right" to
me. I am trying to be more present, which is a big problem for me. I
tend to escape in reading, I am working on this.

What do you read? Could you read outloud to your kids, even small sections
or a few paragraphs from what your reading and then discuss it a little...I
used to think I had to read the whole thing, cover to cover, to my kids, but
have since seen that I can read them pieces of things and have great
conversations, whatever I am reading....also, we discovered we love to
listen to certain books on tape together...we get them mostly at the
Libray...I have boys, age 11 and 15...they loved Eragon (written by a
homeschoolers)..on tape available at Target, and we've loved the Artemis
Fowl series, all on tape and available at the public library. It worked
because it combined my passion for reading with their interests. (I love to
read and "escape" into reading lots too...what's wrong with that...should be
sure and put your book down when it doesn't feel right and find something to
do with the kids)

Another problem is
that I don't feel like I have interesting things going on in my
life. The worst part is that I can't really think of anything that
sounds interesting to me.

Is this all the time or is it just when you are feeling down...it could be
that you are in a dark time in your life...which is part of life and
possibly part of unschooling...(I went through a dark night of the
soul...read the book "Dark Nights of the Soul" by Thomas Moore. Really
helped me be O.K. with it. Making yourself wrong for the way your life is
will only get you further into the muck. On the other hand, you do need to
listen to that still, quiet voice, and take what steps you need to find your
way back home. I did some work with an organization called the Landmark
Education Corporation and the Landmark Forum...they have a website, if
you're interested. That helped, too.

I don't know what I am asking for. Maybe others that have been in
this place? I don't know.

Just to let you know...yes, others have been in this place...namely me.
That would make two of us. "I'm nobody, who are you. Are you nobody two?
There's the two of us." Emily Dickinson's beautiful poem...poetry is good
stuff to read and talk about with your kids. Also, works to talk to them
about your confusion. Kids are great listeners.

Thank you,
Amie





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Message 2
From: "Sandra Dodd" Sandra@...
Date: Tue May 2, 2006 10:26pm(PDT)
Subject: Re: confused about unschooling


On May 2, 2006, at 10:52 PM, mascire2 wrote:

> I think if someone told me what to do with
> the kids each day, I could do it. I know unschooling isn't like this
> though.


Every day, do two things from one of these lists or descriptions:

http://sandradodd.com/checklists
http://www.sandradodd.com/strew/deblist.html
http://sandradodd.com/strew
http://www.sandradodd.com/strew/tadaa.html
http://sandradodd.com/typical
http://sandradodd.com/gameplay


You can't reproduce anyone's whole day, but you can do ONE of the
things they did.

-=-My kids are watching too much tv right now because they are bored. I
have read so many books and articles and it all makes complete
sense. It is putting these things into real life that I don't get.
My kids don't have these cool projects going on. They do play
outside alot, and with some neighbor kids, and they are each taking
a class (gymnastics and trampoline). It just doesn't feel "right" to
me.-=-

You should be watching with them.
You should have cool projects going on.
You should play outside with them.

It seems they're doing some things and you're doing some other things.
Find things to do together, and if you can't lure them to your
things, go to theirs.

Do you have computer games or video games? If you're at all musical,
consider getting one of the music games like Donkey Konga, Karaoke
Revolution or Guitar Hero, but only if YOU will play with them. If
you can afford to do one of those, get two sets of drums, two
headsets or two guitars (especially important in the drums area).

You talked about TV, but didn't talk about DVDs, movies...

-=-I tend to escape in reading, I am working on this. -=-

Maybe you need to escape out away from the house, with the kids.

-=-The worst part is that I can't really think of anything that
sounds interesting to me. -=-

Does sending your kids to school sound interesting to you?
You need to make what you're doing BETTER than school, better in ways
that any social worker or relative or neighbor can easily see.

It won't happen overnight, but it will NEVER happen if you escape in
books while they watch TV and play outside.

Sandra




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Message 3
From: "Queana" queana7@...
Date: Tue May 2, 2006 10:32pm(PDT)
Subject: Re: Why I love TV

I missed this one... where did it come from originally? How can I contact
Sarah?

~Q~
aka Sarah
http://www.unbridledlearning.com
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
On Behalf Of Sandra Dodd
Sent: Tuesday, May 02, 2006 6:57 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Why I love TV


On Mar 24, 2006, at 9:30 AM, Sarah wrote:

> TV is right up there with politics and religion. I
> mean this topic elicits more questions than "What
> about church?" in the unschooling community. I think
> even sugar is less of a hot topic than TV.
>
> And it really cracks me up. Because TV is like a
> godsend around here.
>
> My girls really like to wake up slowly watching TV.
> This is great for me because it gives me a chance to
> drink my espresso, read the paper (still looking for a
> dog), switch the laundry, maybe do a little pilates,
> and generally prepare for the day. A moment to clean
> in the morning is great for me. I feel ready to say
> lots of yeses when I'm not saying, "Let me just slick
> this up first."
>
> TV often offers us a moment to reconnect. I can sit
> down with the girls and laugh out loud or ask what
> shows they like and why. Many, many great
> conversations have happened because of this.
>
> We have the sit and spin and a mini tramp and puzzles
> and games and art projects and a computer and Lego's
> and baby dolls and magazines and books in the same
> room as one of our TVs...people rarely just sit
> passively and watch TV.
>
> It offers siblings a chance to do something together.
> Or, it can get them apart!
>
> Lots of imaginative games and pretend play have ensued
> due to an idea gleaned from a television program.
>
> We've discovered new crafts, new recipes, art
> activities and science projects...all from TV.
>
> Many new concepts have come to us via TV: from
> beginning reading for my almost three year old to the
> study of physics and "The Elegant Universe" for
> myself.
>
> Half the music I like I found from watching TV and
> movies...either from soundtracks or music videos or
> musical guests or TV concerts.
>
> My husband turns it on at bedtime for white noise. He
> has to wake up earlier than us and this drowns out our
> sometimes loud sounds late at night.
>
> TV (I'm thinking parody here) has given us many ways
> to laugh about situations that have the potential to
> make me cry.
>
> The TV offers a connection to history and literature
> and language and culture and differing opinions and
> glimpses of remote parts of the world I will probably
> never see in person.
>
> I like to watch shows from my childhood...it is a
> connection. My kids learn more about me from what I
> watched and liked when I was younger.
>
> We've learned how to cook new foods.
>
> My husband, a busy, busy man, will actually sit with
> us if we watch a show together, and he finds things
> for him and the girls to watch together. Major
> bonding.
>
> When my kids are in a "TV phase", I like to look at it
> as a great opportunity for me to catch up on
> housework, phone calls, a new craft, or my sleep :).
> These don't last long so instead of worrying I take
> full advantage!
>
> It really adds to our never-ending list of questions.
> The topics take us to the library and on field trips
> and into new artistic endeavors.
>
> Ooooh, and here's a really good one: TV topics are a
> great conversation link between my kids and schooled
> kids. They can talk about favorite movies or shows or
> actors or musicians. These topics are much better
> than, "What grade are you in?"
>
> We have been introduced to so many fun games and toys
> because of the *gasp* advertisements.
>
> It gives me a cozy, tucked-in, home-from-school
> feeling. My kids don't really have that, but I'm sure
> sometimes they get a nest-y cozy feeling.
>
> It connects us generationally. My kids can talk to
> their grandparents about shows they mutually like and
> they can watch them together. My grandparents don't
> go to the skating rinks and sledding hills and zoos
> with us, but they can watch Mary Poppins with my kids
> and laugh and bond together.
>
> My Mom had the TV on all the time. She loved it. But
> I don't remember her sitting and just watching very
> often. She crocheted and cooked and cleaned. And she
> and I both read in front of the TV. I read many a
> book in front of the TV just to be near her. I did
> most of my homework in front of the TV (and did really
> well according to their standards). And it still
> gives me a chance to knit and paint my toes and other
> things I like to do with some noise on.
>
> And guess what, even though I have these feelings of
> regard for the TV and tell my kids when their favorite
> shows are on and get them lots of movies and offer to
> go to lots of movies, they probably end up watching
> the same amount of TV as some kids with TV limits
> watch. Because they *want* full lives and have many
> interests and love the outdoors and art and
> experiments and friends and going out to eat and well,
> you get the idea.
>
> Sarah Anderson-Thimmes
>
>
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Message 4
From: "Sandra Dodd" Sandra@...
Date: Tue May 2, 2006 10:34pm(PDT)
Subject: Re: Why I love TV

I missed this one... where did it come from originally? How can I
contact
Sarah?



Oh THAT"S where that went!! I pulled it up and it disappeared. <g>

It was on this list, March 24.

I was cleaning out the e-mail, and knew it was great, so I put it here:
http://sandradodd.com/t/learning (on an existing page in the TV
section, which begins http://sandradodd.com/tv and has some new art).

I was going to announce it to my subscription-to-site-news list and
didn't mean to send it here. But I'm not sorry. Good accident.

Problem is, I need several other small tales of something a kid
learned from TV. Could people here help me out? I'd love to fill up
that page.


Sarah is Sarah Anderson-Thimmes. She's on this list.

Here are some other things she wrote:
http://www.sandradodd.com/day/ebbandflow.html
http://www.sandradodd.com/beginning.html

Sandra




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