Kids of Divorce
Dawn Falbe
I read 2 great books last year called "The Divorce Culture" by Barbara Dafoe
Whitehead and "The Unexpected Legaly of Divorce" by Judith S. Wallerstein et
al. Both were excellent books on understanding marriage and divorce and
the effects it has on children and then how we react to relationships when
we become adults.
A parent divorcing and remarrying is one of the biggest betrayals a child
can
ever live through. Are you in counseling with her? I would highly recommend
finding a good one, or else she will find herself in counseling or dealing
with a lot of anger issues as an adult I would guess.
It's more difficult for kids to deal with than anyone believes. Our society
says it's all ok, they'll adjust. I don't buy that. I think seeking
counseling is a good idea. And I'm really glad you're not buying into that
tough love garbage. She needs your gentleness and understanding more than
ever I'm sure!! Ren
********************
Dawn Falbe
Astrologer Coach
(520) 312-5300
********************
www.astrologerdawn.com
dawn@...
Enlightening you on how to discover and live your Soul Purpose
"The people who get on in this world are people who get up and look for the
circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them." - George
Bernard Shaw
"The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school" -
George Bernard Shaw
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Whitehead and "The Unexpected Legaly of Divorce" by Judith S. Wallerstein et
al. Both were excellent books on understanding marriage and divorce and
the effects it has on children and then how we react to relationships when
we become adults.
A parent divorcing and remarrying is one of the biggest betrayals a child
can
ever live through. Are you in counseling with her? I would highly recommend
finding a good one, or else she will find herself in counseling or dealing
with a lot of anger issues as an adult I would guess.
It's more difficult for kids to deal with than anyone believes. Our society
says it's all ok, they'll adjust. I don't buy that. I think seeking
counseling is a good idea. And I'm really glad you're not buying into that
tough love garbage. She needs your gentleness and understanding more than
ever I'm sure!! Ren
********************
Dawn Falbe
Astrologer Coach
(520) 312-5300
********************
www.astrologerdawn.com
dawn@...
Enlightening you on how to discover and live your Soul Purpose
"The people who get on in this world are people who get up and look for the
circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them." - George
Bernard Shaw
"The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school" -
George Bernard Shaw
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Shyrley
I'm not at all sure that divorce is that traumatic for children. It
depends on the child. When my parents split up when i was 7/8 I recall
my mother sitting us down (sister of 5 and brother of 3) and telling us
that 'daddy wouldn't be living with us any more'
It had no impact whatsoever. In fact, we looked forward to his accesss
visits because he bought us fries, something he'd never done before.
His visits gradually tailed off and he became a memory. I didn't really
see him again until I was about 19, just before he died.
Didn't bother me in the slightest.
Shyrley
Dawn Falbe wrote:
depends on the child. When my parents split up when i was 7/8 I recall
my mother sitting us down (sister of 5 and brother of 3) and telling us
that 'daddy wouldn't be living with us any more'
It had no impact whatsoever. In fact, we looked forward to his accesss
visits because he bought us fries, something he'd never done before.
His visits gradually tailed off and he became a memory. I didn't really
see him again until I was about 19, just before he died.
Didn't bother me in the slightest.
Shyrley
Dawn Falbe wrote:
> I read 2 great books last year called "The Divorce Culture" byADVERTISEMENT
> Barbara Dafoe
> Whitehead and "The Unexpected Legaly of Divorce" by Judith S.
> Wallerstein et
> al. Both were excellent books on understanding marriage and divorce
> and
> the effects it has on children and then how we react to relationships
> when
> we become adults.
>
> A parent divorcing and remarrying is one of the biggest betrayals a
> child
> can
> ever live through. Are you in counseling with her? I would highly
> recommend
>
> finding a good one, or else she will find herself in counseling or
> dealing
>
> with a lot of anger issues as an adult I would guess.
>
> It's more difficult for kids to deal with than anyone believes. Our
> society
>
> says it's all ok, they'll adjust. I don't buy that. I think seeking
>
> counseling is a good idea. And I'm really glad you're not buying into
> that
>
> tough love garbage. She needs your gentleness and understanding more
> than
>
> ever I'm sure!! Ren
>
>
>
> ********************
> Dawn Falbe
> Astrologer Coach
> (520) 312-5300
> ********************
> www.astrologerdawn.com
> dawn@...
> Enlightening you on how to discover and live your Soul Purpose
>
> "The people who get on in this world are people who get up and look
> for the
> circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them." -
> George
> Bernard Shaw
>
> "The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school"
> -
> George Bernard Shaw
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
Shyrley
I'm not at all sure that divorce is that traumatic for children. It
depends on the child. When my parents split up when i was 7/8 I recall
my mother sitting us down (sister of 5 and brother of 3) and telling us
that 'daddy wouldn't be living with us any more'
It had no impact whatsoever. In fact, we looked forward to his accesss
visits because he bought us fries, something he'd never done before.
His visits gradually tailed off and he became a memory. I didn't really
see him again until I was about 19, just before he died.
Didn't bother me in the slightest.
Shyrley
Dawn Falbe wrote:
depends on the child. When my parents split up when i was 7/8 I recall
my mother sitting us down (sister of 5 and brother of 3) and telling us
that 'daddy wouldn't be living with us any more'
It had no impact whatsoever. In fact, we looked forward to his accesss
visits because he bought us fries, something he'd never done before.
His visits gradually tailed off and he became a memory. I didn't really
see him again until I was about 19, just before he died.
Didn't bother me in the slightest.
Shyrley
Dawn Falbe wrote:
> I read 2 great books last year called "The Divorce Culture" byADVERTISEMENT
> Barbara Dafoe
> Whitehead and "The Unexpected Legaly of Divorce" by Judith S.
> Wallerstein et
> al. Both were excellent books on understanding marriage and divorce
> and
> the effects it has on children and then how we react to relationships
> when
> we become adults.
>
> A parent divorcing and remarrying is one of the biggest betrayals a
> child
> can
> ever live through. Are you in counseling with her? I would highly
> recommend
>
> finding a good one, or else she will find herself in counseling or
> dealing
>
> with a lot of anger issues as an adult I would guess.
>
> It's more difficult for kids to deal with than anyone believes. Our
> society
>
> says it's all ok, they'll adjust. I don't buy that. I think seeking
>
> counseling is a good idea. And I'm really glad you're not buying into
> that
>
> tough love garbage. She needs your gentleness and understanding more
> than
>
> ever I'm sure!! Ren
>
>
>
> ********************
> Dawn Falbe
> Astrologer Coach
> (520) 312-5300
> ********************
> www.astrologerdawn.com
> dawn@...
> Enlightening you on how to discover and live your Soul Purpose
>
> "The people who get on in this world are people who get up and look
> for the
> circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them." -
> George
> Bernard Shaw
>
> "The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school"
> -
> George Bernard Shaw
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
Pam Hartley
My parents divorced when I was 12, and I had much the same reaction as
Shyrley.
Maybe it depends not only on the child, but on the relationship that the
divorcing parents have with the child. My father was a kind drunk (no abuse,
just cheerfully drunk all the time) who rarely kept the promises he often
made and was generally there-but-not-there. So losing him didn't have much
impact.
Now, my stepfather moving in a few months later, I pretty much hated, but
again, I don't know how much of that was him, how much us (me, my two
brothers and sister, pretty much hated him equally) and how much was the
general situation.
Pam
----------
From: Shyrley <shyrley@...>
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Kids of Divorce
Date: Sun, Jan 13, 2002, 8:36 AM
I'm not at all sure that divorce is that traumatic for children. It
depends on the child. When my parents split up when i was 7/8 I recall
my mother sitting us down (sister of 5 and brother of 3) and telling us
that 'daddy wouldn't be living with us any more'
It had no impact whatsoever. In fact, we looked forward to his accesss
visits because he bought us fries, something he'd never done before.
His visits gradually tailed off and he became a memory. I didn't really
see him again until I was about 19, just before he died.
Didn't bother me in the slightest.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Shyrley.
Maybe it depends not only on the child, but on the relationship that the
divorcing parents have with the child. My father was a kind drunk (no abuse,
just cheerfully drunk all the time) who rarely kept the promises he often
made and was generally there-but-not-there. So losing him didn't have much
impact.
Now, my stepfather moving in a few months later, I pretty much hated, but
again, I don't know how much of that was him, how much us (me, my two
brothers and sister, pretty much hated him equally) and how much was the
general situation.
Pam
----------
From: Shyrley <shyrley@...>
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Kids of Divorce
Date: Sun, Jan 13, 2002, 8:36 AM
I'm not at all sure that divorce is that traumatic for children. It
depends on the child. When my parents split up when i was 7/8 I recall
my mother sitting us down (sister of 5 and brother of 3) and telling us
that 'daddy wouldn't be living with us any more'
It had no impact whatsoever. In fact, we looked forward to his accesss
visits because he bought us fries, something he'd never done before.
His visits gradually tailed off and he became a memory. I didn't really
see him again until I was about 19, just before he died.
Didn't bother me in the slightest.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
meghan anderson
<<<<Maybe it depends not only on the child, but on the
relationship that the divorcing parents have with the
child. My father was a kind drunk (no abuse, just
cheerfully drunk all the time) who rarely kept the
promises he often made and was generally
there-but-not-there. So losing him didn't have much
impact.
Pam>>>>
Wow, this sounds almost like my dad! He could be
abusive to my mom on occasion though. My parents
divorced when I was 6 and the only feeling type memory
I have from it is relief. I was really glad when he
moved out. Home life became much more peaceful and my
mom was so much happier. I have a relationship with my
dad now, but it's so superficial. I can't imagine
talking to him about anything in depth. If I've ever
tried to bring up anything in the least bit 'deep', he
changes the subject or leaves straight away. Poor guy,
he's so emotionally stunted.
Meghan
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relationship that the divorcing parents have with the
child. My father was a kind drunk (no abuse, just
cheerfully drunk all the time) who rarely kept the
promises he often made and was generally
there-but-not-there. So losing him didn't have much
impact.
Pam>>>>
Wow, this sounds almost like my dad! He could be
abusive to my mom on occasion though. My parents
divorced when I was 6 and the only feeling type memory
I have from it is relief. I was really glad when he
moved out. Home life became much more peaceful and my
mom was so much happier. I have a relationship with my
dad now, but it's so superficial. I can't imagine
talking to him about anything in depth. If I've ever
tried to bring up anything in the least bit 'deep', he
changes the subject or leaves straight away. Poor guy,
he's so emotionally stunted.
Meghan
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