Beth Fleming

Hi,
I mainly lurk here, read a lot, and see my family moving toward no controls...slowly. Here is a situation that happened this morning at our house. It was a busy time, breakfast happening and my husband going off to work early. (I have a 9yo, a 7yo, a 2 yo, and a 5 mo).....the 2 yo asked for oatmeal, which she likes to share with her Dad. She then spotted a bowl of jelly beans on the counter that were left over from yesterday and climbed up on a chair to get them. As she reached for them, Dad said, "Those aren't really a breakfast food." I said, "It's OK, Honey" to my husband and she proceeded to have a few jelly beans and brought about 4 more over to her high chair. I didn't say anything to her. She happily sat with oatmeal, pineapple, oj, and jelly beans on her tray. As she was eating, I said something like "You know, when I eat candy and my tummy is empty, it sometimes feels yucky." My 7 yo said he agreed and told me about a time he had eaten chocolate when
he was really hungry. I guess my question is, was it worth talking about the principle right then? I felt like I was really doing it more for the 7 yo and 9 yo....should I have said nothing and saved the conversation about being healthy and taking care of our bodies for another time? Not really sure how this should have played out......
Thanks for reading and offering suggestions. I apprecuate all of the years of wisdom here.....
Peace,
Beth
NB: The four or so jelly beans on her tray got chewed and spit out!


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Sandra Dodd

> As she was eating, I said something like "You know, when I eat
> candy and my tummy is empty, it sometimes feels yucky." My 7 yo
> said he agreed and told me about a time he had eaten chocolate when
> he was really hungry. I guess my question is, was it worth talking
> about the principle right then?


I don't think that was a principle.

There are a few real biological realities and a WHOLE lot of
traditional warning and threat.
"That will make you sick" is said of very many things that will NOT
make someone sick.

Jelly beans aren't traditional breakfast food, but donuts are.
Pancakes with fruit and syrup are. Oatmeal with brown sugar is.

To tell a child that candy might feel yucky is not a principle.

For parents to resolve to let children figure out for themselves how
things actually DO make them feel, that's a principle. The idea that
people learn better by actually learning than by following
recommendations and avoiding things they've been warned about is a
principle.

Sandra

Beth Fleming

Thanks,
So, the principle of taking care of our bodies is an on-going conversation that I and my husband model.....and biting my tongue and not letting go(!) during a "jelly bean breakfast" is best for her to figure out what tastes good and what doesn't for herself....(I guess she already knows since she spit out the jelly beans!) I didn't see what I said to her about feeling yucky as a veiled threat (you're going to get sick), but when you repeated it back to me, it sure sounded different. I thought I was just sharing my own experience.....I guess my confusion is when to share experience and when to step back.
Thanks,
Beth (who is bting her tongue for the rest of the day!)
Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
> As she was eating, I said something like "You know, when I eat
> candy and my tummy is empty, it sometimes feels yucky." My 7 yo
> said he agreed and told me about a time he had eaten chocolate when
> he was really hungry. I guess my question is, was it worth talking
> about the principle right then?


I don't think that was a principle.

There are a few real biological realities and a WHOLE lot of
traditional warning and threat.
"That will make you sick" is said of very many things that will NOT
make someone sick.

Jelly beans aren't traditional breakfast food, but donuts are.
Pancakes with fruit and syrup are. Oatmeal with brown sugar is.

To tell a child that candy might feel yucky is not a principle.

For parents to resolve to let children figure out for themselves how
things actually DO make them feel, that's a principle. The idea that
people learn better by actually learning than by following
recommendations and avoiding things they've been warned about is a
principle.

Sandra


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