Need suggestions/advice
[email protected]
Greetings-
Our family has just taken a short walk through hell--my husband has been laid
off from his job, and new job prospects are dim. Think major airline here. I
suffered a major depressive episode, and am now much better--but it has been
a dreadful 5 months.
I've been the homeschooling parent for over ten years now, and am forced
back into the workforce due to our financial situation. Well, it turns out the
20+ years of devoted volunteer work, a smattering of college and part-time jobs
doesn't count for much in terms of wages, so I'm returning to school with the
intention of studying nursing.
The thing that is making me crazy is having to figure out how to
home/unschool our 16yr son. He would be happy to spend all day, every day, on the
computer, much of it playing fps games. I know that all this activity isn't
wasted--he's a wiz at these games, he knows the computer inside and out (well, pretty
much--he's screwed up a few things in the process of learning). We live in a
rural area, and he doesn't drive yet; finances are so stressed that we can't
afford his car insurance when he does drive. So, there is the isolation
factor. Then, I'm finding myself fretting about his writing and mathematical
abilities. He reads well, but writes as little as possible, and I suspect some
learning disabilities in math.
Timing is everything--this was supposed to be the time when he'd really start
to blossom, as he had been the past year or so. Now our life feels like it
has collapsed and I'm trying to figure out the best way to parent him when both
of his parents will be gone much of the time. I'm glad he's not younger, and
I do know that there are valuable lessons he'll be learning through this
whole mess, but I feel an urgent need to better prepare him for adulthood and I'm
not going to be around as much to do so.
He is the youngest of our three children, the others married or in college.
I'm not done with him yet and our life just got way more complicated! On top
of it all, I'm really trying to overcome the feeling of "being so old" and
returning to school--although we feel it is the best thing to do.
Thanks-
Kay
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Our family has just taken a short walk through hell--my husband has been laid
off from his job, and new job prospects are dim. Think major airline here. I
suffered a major depressive episode, and am now much better--but it has been
a dreadful 5 months.
I've been the homeschooling parent for over ten years now, and am forced
back into the workforce due to our financial situation. Well, it turns out the
20+ years of devoted volunteer work, a smattering of college and part-time jobs
doesn't count for much in terms of wages, so I'm returning to school with the
intention of studying nursing.
The thing that is making me crazy is having to figure out how to
home/unschool our 16yr son. He would be happy to spend all day, every day, on the
computer, much of it playing fps games. I know that all this activity isn't
wasted--he's a wiz at these games, he knows the computer inside and out (well, pretty
much--he's screwed up a few things in the process of learning). We live in a
rural area, and he doesn't drive yet; finances are so stressed that we can't
afford his car insurance when he does drive. So, there is the isolation
factor. Then, I'm finding myself fretting about his writing and mathematical
abilities. He reads well, but writes as little as possible, and I suspect some
learning disabilities in math.
Timing is everything--this was supposed to be the time when he'd really start
to blossom, as he had been the past year or so. Now our life feels like it
has collapsed and I'm trying to figure out the best way to parent him when both
of his parents will be gone much of the time. I'm glad he's not younger, and
I do know that there are valuable lessons he'll be learning through this
whole mess, but I feel an urgent need to better prepare him for adulthood and I'm
not going to be around as much to do so.
He is the youngest of our three children, the others married or in college.
I'm not done with him yet and our life just got way more complicated! On top
of it all, I'm really trying to overcome the feeling of "being so old" and
returning to school--although we feel it is the best thing to do.
Thanks-
Kay
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
On Dec 26, 2005, at 8:36 AM, KDH5of9@... wrote:
nursing school isn't the best way for you AND your son to be making
enough money five or ten years from now.
He's sixteen. Can you wait two years to go to work? Could you and
he both get jobs somewhere?
-=-I've been the homeschooling parent for over ten years now, and am
forced
back into the workforce due to our financial situation. -=-
Please try not to see your situation in terms of "being forced."
Your husband didn't die and you're not starving, right?
You're working on making choices, you're not being forced at gunpoint
to do something, or they wouldn't have let you come and write to us.
-=-We live in a
rural area, and he doesn't drive yet; -=-
You're not studying nursing in a rural area, are you? Can he go to
town with you when you go to class? Can he take some classes?
Maybe not academic classes, maybe music or photography or computers,
without intent to enroll in a degree program.
-=-Timing is everything--this was supposed to be the time when he'd
really start
to blossom, as he had been the past year or so.-=-
Timing is a BIG part of life, and when you finish nursing school you
will no longer have a "school-aged" child. The age of compulsory
schooling will have passed you by. You won't be able to go back and
have a sixteen year old, or a seventeen year old.
Can you rent out your bigger rural house and live in an apartment for
a bit here so he's not isolated? Maybe he can get around town on
foot, or by bus, or bicycle.
The cost of living rurally is about to become very expensive for you
too, if you can't be there to drive him out into the larger world.
Would he want to go to high school next year? They couldn't give him
a diploma, but he could spend a year in the company of other kids,
practicing some math and writing, without the pressures they will
have to make good grades and finish their diplomas. And the bus
would pick him up for free, right?
-=-On top
of it all, I'm really trying to overcome the feeling of "being so
old" and
returning to school--although we feel it is the best thing to do.-=-
Does your son feel it is the best thing for you to do?
Sandra
> The thing that is making me crazy is having to figure out how toIf you look at the overall wage-earning situation, maybe being in
> home/unschool our 16yr son. He would be happy to spend all day,
> every day, on the
> computer, much of it playing fps games.
nursing school isn't the best way for you AND your son to be making
enough money five or ten years from now.
He's sixteen. Can you wait two years to go to work? Could you and
he both get jobs somewhere?
-=-I've been the homeschooling parent for over ten years now, and am
forced
back into the workforce due to our financial situation. -=-
Please try not to see your situation in terms of "being forced."
Your husband didn't die and you're not starving, right?
You're working on making choices, you're not being forced at gunpoint
to do something, or they wouldn't have let you come and write to us.
-=-We live in a
rural area, and he doesn't drive yet; -=-
You're not studying nursing in a rural area, are you? Can he go to
town with you when you go to class? Can he take some classes?
Maybe not academic classes, maybe music or photography or computers,
without intent to enroll in a degree program.
-=-Timing is everything--this was supposed to be the time when he'd
really start
to blossom, as he had been the past year or so.-=-
Timing is a BIG part of life, and when you finish nursing school you
will no longer have a "school-aged" child. The age of compulsory
schooling will have passed you by. You won't be able to go back and
have a sixteen year old, or a seventeen year old.
Can you rent out your bigger rural house and live in an apartment for
a bit here so he's not isolated? Maybe he can get around town on
foot, or by bus, or bicycle.
The cost of living rurally is about to become very expensive for you
too, if you can't be there to drive him out into the larger world.
Would he want to go to high school next year? They couldn't give him
a diploma, but he could spend a year in the company of other kids,
practicing some math and writing, without the pressures they will
have to make good grades and finish their diplomas. And the bus
would pick him up for free, right?
-=-On top
of it all, I'm really trying to overcome the feeling of "being so
old" and
returning to school--although we feel it is the best thing to do.-=-
Does your son feel it is the best thing for you to do?
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/26/2005 10:18:20 AM Central Standard Time,
KDH5of9@... writes:
He is the youngest of our three children, the others married or in college.
~~~
Can he go stay with one of his siblings every so often? Maybe it would be
possible for him to stay with the married sib one week and the college sib the
next and then at home the next? I assume his sibs live in town somewhere,
where your son could get some interaction with other teens or hook up with
some kind of group or event or activity that piques his interest.
I am not in financial distress, but I do find myself looking toward
career/vocation instead of being home with my 12 yo. who is my youngest as well.
Sometimes I get so involved that I forget he's around momentarily, and then I
remind myself that it's still not just about me. I still have to include him
in my life for the next few years. I'm thinking of going to college, too, but
he still needs me and I have to do what he needs.
Can you work parttime and your son work parttime in different shifts so you
can share the driving duties? That would get him out of the house. It
sounds to me like if you get a nursing degree, then you'll be having a full-time
job after that. What will he do then?
Karen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
KDH5of9@... writes:
He is the youngest of our three children, the others married or in college.
~~~
Can he go stay with one of his siblings every so often? Maybe it would be
possible for him to stay with the married sib one week and the college sib the
next and then at home the next? I assume his sibs live in town somewhere,
where your son could get some interaction with other teens or hook up with
some kind of group or event or activity that piques his interest.
I am not in financial distress, but I do find myself looking toward
career/vocation instead of being home with my 12 yo. who is my youngest as well.
Sometimes I get so involved that I forget he's around momentarily, and then I
remind myself that it's still not just about me. I still have to include him
in my life for the next few years. I'm thinking of going to college, too, but
he still needs me and I have to do what he needs.
Can you work parttime and your son work parttime in different shifts so you
can share the driving duties? That would get him out of the house. It
sounds to me like if you get a nursing degree, then you'll be having a full-time
job after that. What will he do then?
Karen
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Julie W in AR
Just some quick thoughts.
(and understand I know where you are coming from. I'm not someone who has tons of money or a hubby with a six figure salary. Mine lost a good job 7 years ago and I went back to work at the same time he went to work at wallyworld where he still works.)
Why nursing right now if what you really need is money? Talk about a financial outlay.
If you are up to it, wait tables for the next few years. Money is immediate and can be quite good. You can work when your dh is off (I'm assuming he is going to get a job doing just about anything when his severance/unemployment runs out) and then your son will have someone aorund who can do things with him. For that matter it maybe a good thing for them to be around each other a ton.
Until this summer I had been waiting tables for 6 years (this go around...I've actually done it about 17 years off and on) till I just got fed up with my manager and quit (long story, silly thing to do, ended up having hernia surgery so I would have been off work for months anyway) and now sell Vintage Clothes on ebay. I made more money as a waitress, but my feet don't hurt anymore and I'm FINALLY doing something I really, really love.
If there is something you love and know about ebay is a good way to make extra money.
What does your son want you to do? What does he want to do?
Is there anyone who he could hang with a few days a week while you are at school? Other homeschoolers/unschoolers?
KDH5of9@... wrote:
Greetings-
Our family has just taken a short walk through hell--my husband has been laid
off from his job, and new job prospects are dim. Think major airline here. I
suffered a major depressive episode, and am now much better--but it has been
a dreadful 5 months.
Julie W
Visit The Zaftig Goddess Vintage on eBay
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
(and understand I know where you are coming from. I'm not someone who has tons of money or a hubby with a six figure salary. Mine lost a good job 7 years ago and I went back to work at the same time he went to work at wallyworld where he still works.)
Why nursing right now if what you really need is money? Talk about a financial outlay.
If you are up to it, wait tables for the next few years. Money is immediate and can be quite good. You can work when your dh is off (I'm assuming he is going to get a job doing just about anything when his severance/unemployment runs out) and then your son will have someone aorund who can do things with him. For that matter it maybe a good thing for them to be around each other a ton.
Until this summer I had been waiting tables for 6 years (this go around...I've actually done it about 17 years off and on) till I just got fed up with my manager and quit (long story, silly thing to do, ended up having hernia surgery so I would have been off work for months anyway) and now sell Vintage Clothes on ebay. I made more money as a waitress, but my feet don't hurt anymore and I'm FINALLY doing something I really, really love.
If there is something you love and know about ebay is a good way to make extra money.
What does your son want you to do? What does he want to do?
Is there anyone who he could hang with a few days a week while you are at school? Other homeschoolers/unschoolers?
KDH5of9@... wrote:
Greetings-
Our family has just taken a short walk through hell--my husband has been laid
off from his job, and new job prospects are dim. Think major airline here. I
suffered a major depressive episode, and am now much better--but it has been
a dreadful 5 months.
Julie W
Visit The Zaftig Goddess Vintage on eBay
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
If you are going to be taking classes...is it possible that he could take classes as well? At least here in Texas, it is possible for 16yo to take classes at community colleges which is also where a lot of people get their nursing certification.
Just a thought.
julie S.
Just a thought.
julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: Julie W in AR <jjjwoolfolk@...>
Date: Monday, December 26, 2005 2:02 pm
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Need suggestions/advice
> Just some quick thoughts.
> (and understand I know where you are coming from. I'm not
> someone who has tons of money or a hubby with a six figure salary.
> Mine lost a good job 7 years ago and I went back to work at the
> same time he went to work at wallyworld where he still works.)
>
> Why nursing right now if what you really need is money? Talk
> about a financial outlay.
>
> If you are up to it, wait tables for the next few years. Money
> is immediate and can be quite good. You can work when your dh is
> off (I'm assuming he is going to get a job doing just about
> anything when his severance/unemployment runs out) and then your
> son will have someone aorund who can do things with him. For that
> matter it maybe a good thing for them to be around each other a ton.
> Until this summer I had been waiting tables for 6 years (this go
> around...I've actually done it about 17 years off and on) till I
> just got fed up with my manager and quit (long story, silly thing
> to do, ended up having hernia surgery so I would have been off
> work for months anyway) and now sell Vintage Clothes on ebay. I
> made more money as a waitress, but my feet don't hurt anymore and
> I'm FINALLY doing something I really, really love.
> If there is something you love and know about ebay is a good way
> to make extra money.
> What does your son want you to do? What does he want to do?
> Is there anyone who he could hang with a few days a week while
> you are at school? Other homeschoolers/unschoolers?
>
>
> KDH5of9@... wrote:
> Greetings-
>
> Our family has just taken a short walk through hell--my husband
> has been laid
> off from his job, and new job prospects are dim. Think major
> airline here. I
> suffered a major depressive episode, and am now much better--but
> it has been
> a dreadful 5 months.
>
>
>
> Julie W
> Visit The Zaftig Goddess Vintage on eBay
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
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queenjane555
--- In [email protected], jnjstau@d... wrote:
(if he does, it doesnt matter to me), maybe i'll go back to school and
get my degree. He said "Maybe we could go to college together!!" and i
thought that was a terrific idea.
Katherine
>I was telling my son that maybe after he is older, and goes to college
> If you are going to be taking classes...is it possible that he
>could take classes as well? At least here in Texas, it is possible
>for 16yo to take classes at community colleges which is also where >a
>lot of people get their nursing certification.
(if he does, it doesnt matter to me), maybe i'll go back to school and
get my degree. He said "Maybe we could go to college together!!" and i
thought that was a terrific idea.
Katherine