Melanie Hendershot

My 15yo ds plays x-box live by the hour. He only comes out of his room to eat or go to the bathroom. He doesn't participate in any sports or other outside activities nor does he have any desire to right now. I tried to find a computer place he could volunteer at but he's to young for that too. I must admit because of his age I'm starting to panic especially when people ask what he's doing school wise this year!! Unfortunately most people aren't familiar with unschooling or child led learning at all. Is there anyone out there that has walked this path before that could give me some encouragement? Maybe let me know that this to shall pass? I don't want to turn into the nagging, yelling, freaked out mom.

Hanging by a thread,
Melanie, WA


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Sara McGrath

> My 15yo ds plays x-box live by the hour. He only comes out of his room to eat or go to the bathroom. He doesn't participate in any sports or other outside activities nor does he have any desire to right now. I tried to find a computer place he could volunteer at but he's to young for that too. I must admit because of his age I'm starting to panic especially when people ask what he's doing school wise this year!! Unfortunately most people aren't familiar with unschooling or child led learning at all. Is there anyone out there that has walked this path before that could give me some encouragement? Maybe let me know that this to shall pass? I don't want to turn into the nagging, yelling, freaked out mom.

I don't have a child who plays games, but I do have a husband who does
(he's actually a game programmer.) What I can tell you is that those
games take a certain amount of time to finish. He's working hard to
achieve something. When he has achieved his goals, your son will
likely take a cooling off period before diving into the next game, or
not. HTH

Sara
--
Sprouts http://clanmcgrath.blogspot.com
Mother Anarchy http://motheranarchy.blogspot.com
Eastside Homeschoolers http://eastsidehomeschool.blogspot.com
Unschooling Resources http://unschoolingresources.blogspot.com
My baby is diaper-free! http://diaperfreebaby.org

Gold Standard

Hi Melanie,

I just wanted to share that my 11 yo son has been on X-box live since July
every day that we have been home (all but two or three days). He usually
gets up in the morning and goes right to it...before eating or drinking or
anything. If I don't bring him food, it will sometimes be four hours or more
before he stops to get something to eat.

Things I am currently doing:
-sitting with him while he plays...it's VERY exciting stuff! He's connected
to kids all over the world and I particularly love the conversations they
have about what time it is where they are, and sometimes what DAY it is
where they are. I've listened to my guy "defend" himself because he has a
speech impediment...so eloquently...moreso than I think he would be able to
face-to-face (seems like really good practice actually). There really is
just so much to love about Xbox live.

-noticing what he needs (food, drink, fan on, etc.) while he's
playing...this has kept our connection while he's playing.

-planning outings that I know he likes (go-carts, movies [especially
openings], ice-cream).

-still asking for help when I would like it (he is still responding to this,
in particular he likes taking care of animal feedings...however it's usually
not an immediate response)

-writing notes to him rather than interrupt the live action...he asked for
this from all of us (there are 6 of us in the family). He has a hard time
listening to any of us when he is on listening to the players...so we write
him notes and he reads them as soon as his attention can break away.

Showing this respect I think is really important.

Basically, I trust that he is doing what he needs to do with this. He has
stopped the weekly karate that he has been taking for over a year and a
half, I think mostly to play Xbox live. There have definitely been times of
wonder for both dh and me, but we're pretty sure we need to be the ones
staying connected to him in respectful ways, rather than *forcing* him to
come to us to stay connected.

We also give him feedback about things as we see them. For instance, he
became very pale after while of playing (like the first month) and began to
*look* unhealthy, complete with dark circles around his eyes. We told him we
thought his body was showing effects of lowered physical activity and lack
of sunshine...maybe even lack what food he may need. It was a great
conversation. Cam talked about how he (his body) felt after this somewhat
change in lifestyle. He does take on more thought about his body...I noticed
that he will go outside for a while and run around, chase the dogs during
the day. I think this may be more specifically to stay healthy while playing
Xbox than because he feels like running with the dogs, but that seems like
good enough reason for me!

I don't have an "end of the tunnel" view for you as we are smack dab in the
middle ourselves. I don't know where it will lead, but we are staying
connected for the ride.

Another thing...Cam has LONG hair...down to his butt. The head piece for
Xbox live has become SO tangled in his hair SO many times that his head is
one huge dreadlock. Uncombable. Untangleable. Not just a tangled mess...One
Big gnarled matted thick dreadlock. He is not happy about it, but hasn't
made any decisions about what to do about it yet, if anything. We've tried
everything we know to comb it, with no success. But that is a separate
thread :0)

Thanks,
Jacki

-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]]On Behalf Of Melanie Hendershot
Sent: Saturday, November 05, 2005 11:58 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] HELP! My son is addicted to X-Box Live and I'm
Starting to Panic!


My 15yo ds plays x-box live by the hour. He only comes out of his room to
eat or go to the bathroom. He doesn't participate in any sports or other
outside activities nor does he have any desire to right now. I tried to find
a computer place he could volunteer at but he's to young for that too. I
must admit because of his age I'm starting to panic especially when people
ask what he's doing school wise this year!! Unfortunately most people aren't
familiar with unschooling or child led learning at all. Is there anyone out
there that has walked this path before that could give me some
encouragement? Maybe let me know that this to shall pass? I don't want to
turn into the nagging, yelling, freaked out mom.

Hanging by a thread,
Melanie, WA


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