Rachel

Help!

My son is 6 and is going through vision therapy. It is important for
him to do his "homework," as they call it, 5 days a week.
Unfortunately, we were just settling into unschooling, and I was
finally feeling like we had some sense of family balance and harmony.
Now, though, it feels like it is all going down the tubes because we
have to get certain things done everyday - and the activities are
challenging for him, and sometimes not all that fun. We have to do
basically 4 activities for 8 minutes a peice. What should take a
little over half an hour takes us what feels like forever! He is
miserable and doesn't want to do anything now. I was seeing so much
learning and excitement happening for him when we finally relaxed and
let him do his thing!

This is really frustrating because if we don't do the Vision Therapy,
he may never be able to see normally. If we keep doing it the way
it's assigned, I am really worried about how my son will do in the
rest of his life! Help!

Rachel in Colorado

[email protected]

In a message dated 8/18/2005 4:22:49 AM Central Standard Time,
honoringbirth@... writes:

This is really frustrating because if we don't do the Vision Therapy,
he may never be able to see normally


~~~

Does he understand that? (I don't know how old he is.)

Can you modify the schedule to his tolerance level? It sounds like physical
exercises to me? I'll tell you something I've learned for myself when it
comes to exercising...if I don't like it, I won't do it. If it's too hard for
my fitness level, I won't do it. If it feels wrong, I won't do it.

So what I do is do just what I'm going to do for as long as I'm going to do
it, and refuse to feel guilty if I don't follow someone else's "advice" or
schedule or idea of what I should be doing. Doing it my way is better than not
doing it all. Sure, it's not as effective as quickly as staying on a
rigorous schedule. But I don't have any goals to meet, except the principles of
good health. I'm not training for a marathon.

I'd bet the eye doctor who is prescribing the vision therapy is thinking in
terms of being able to do school work. He's probably thinking if your son
doesn't improve now, he won't be able to see the blackboard in 4th grade. I'm
not saying your son shouldn't be able to see well, but does he need that kind
of pressure if he's unschooling? He's not training for the marathon of
school.

After I talked to the doctor about what could happen if you backed off (and
researched it on the internet so you'd know if there were other options), I'd
just back off and let your son do it at his own pace, if he thinks it's a
good idea and wants to see better. Rarely is anything a "do or die" situation
in the average childhood.

Karen


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Barbara Chase

I've personally done vision therapy, although I don't know if the exercises
your son has to do are similar to what I had to do...

The time I first did them I wasn't able to do one particular exercise at
all. It was a 3D thing. No matter how much I tried, my brain/eyes just
couldn't do it. It was incredibly frustrating, and I was an adult. Even
the doctor got frustrated. Usually he had assistants do the exercises when
I had my visit, but after more than a month of no progress he started to do
them with me - it was almost as if he couldn't believe it and had to see
for himself. I remember feeling totally inadequate because I just couldn't
tell which stupid sheep was closer to bo peep!! Then one day all of a
sudden it jumped out at me and I was able to do the exercise. It took a
lot of determination for me to stick with it. I'm glad I did, because it
helped me with my vision immensely.

I can't imagine a 6yo being able to do what I did to stick with it. It
wasn't fun, it was frustrating. But, having the vision difficulties in my
life was more frustrating, so I was willing to do the work.

Just a few years ago I did them again because I was noticing that I had
gone back to some older habits. The 3D exercise was totally easy, but some
of the others were difficult again. What this 2nd doctor said was that I
could do the exercises at my own pace, but that the improvements would come
sooner if I did the exercises every day. In a way it was all about how
quickly I wanted to see the changes and how many visits I wanted to pay
for. The more "homework" I did, the fewer visits I would have. You might
want to see if this would also be true for your son's program. If so, then
take a slower pace.

And I suggest that you find out exactly what the parameters are for "having
to" do the Vision Therapy. I did mine when I was in my early 20s. Not to
say that his issues aren't urgent and need correcting, but exactly when
will it be too late and why?? Maybe it isn't as urgent as it might seem.
I'm going to guess that the urgency isn't so much about the health of the
child or some technical medical reason -- but more about how he'll need to
have the vision corrected before he will be able to read... and well...
there's no need to rush that!! Maybe I'm wrong, maybe some visioning
pattern will be set in place that will hard to correct if his vision isn't
fixed early on... I'd find out.


Barbara

Mahalo - May you be in Divine Breath

[email protected]

In a message dated 8/18/05 3:22:49 AM, honoringbirth@... writes:


> My son is 6 and is going through vision therapy.  It is important for
> him to do his "homework," as they call it,
>

Why did you take him to the therapist? What were his symptoms? What are
they saying is the problem? What kind of therapy?


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 8/18/05 7:15:27 AM, tuckervill2@... writes:


> I'm
> not saying your son shouldn't be able to  see well, but does he need that
> kind
> of pressure if he's unschooling?  He's  not training for the marathon of
> school. 
>
>

I agree. Pediatricians and all are school-supporting backup. They try to
prepare kids to succeed in school, on school's schedule.

Sandra


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Julie W

Rachel wrote:

>This is really frustrating because if we don't do the Vision Therapy,
>he may never be able to see normally. If we keep doing it the way
>it's assigned, I am really worried about how my son will do in the
>rest of his life! Help!
>
>Rachel in Colorado
>
>
>
My son needed VT, still does, but he was and is unwilling to spend the
time it takes to do the exercises. It is something we've discussed. He
does not want to do it and I'm not willing to spend the $$$$$$$$ the
Drs. charge for something that will make all of us miserable. Even if it
will help him read and write better. This is something you can come back
to when he is older and ready. It is something he can choose to do as a
teen or adult. It really is not a "do it all now or he'll never improve"
kinda thing. You could get a book like "Eyes on Track" and see if there
is any exercises in there that your son wants to do each day and just do
that until he's ready to continue VT.
See this is where unschooling and an unschooling lifestyle gets tough
for me. Josh (13) really needs to wear glasses (or contacts) but he
refuses to do it. It is just for one eye. Contacts are too "hard to put
in" even with smaller ones. Glasses are "uncomfortable"...no kidding?
I've worn them for about 35 years. So he does without and he really has
a hard time reading and writing, but he is not interested in doing
anything about it, I read things for him, but he does get frustrated
with the wait times, but he does not want to try anything to help and
well it is just a vicious cycle. Hmmmm, I sound grouchy this morning.
Need more tea.
--

Julie W (The Zaftig Goddess)
http://www.search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZzaftiggoddess
Live and Learn
http://www.geocities.com/live-and-learn.geo/
The Homeschool Zone
http://www.freewebs.com/thehomeschoolzone/index.htm

*"They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one
half so bad as a lot of ignorance."*

* *



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Mercedes

Rachel wrote:
<<<<< My son is 6 and is going through vision therapy. It is
important for him to do his "homework," as they call it, 5 days a
week. Unfortunately, we were just settling into unschooling, and I
was finally feeling like we had some sense of family balance and
harmony. >>>>>


Both my son and daughter were evaluated by a vision therapist. We
were just beginning our unschooling journey after homeschooling for
a few years. We were definitely not whole-life unschooling yet. I
mention this because if I were in the same situation today I
probably would not even have them evaluated at all.

Anyway. . . .

I had heard about vision therapy from my SIL. The reason I had my
son evaluated was because he hated reading at 10 - he had learned to
read in school - he went through 2nd grade. I just couldn't get
how someone could hate reading and I was worried. . . .

I was lucky because our vision therapist was a homeschooler (she had
her practice 2.5 days a week and her husband did whatever he did for
2.5 days). I let her know that we didn't do formal lessons and
that I wasn't pushing academics.

My son had focusing problems and double vision (neither of which was
caught in the regular eye exams he had had) and maybe a couple other
things - can't remember now. She recommended either exercises or
glasses for "close work". He chose the glasses and wore them
for about a year - mostly while playing Legos. I'm sure I was a
nag about wearing them since we hadn't reached whole-life
unschooling nirvana yet. <g> After that year he was evaluated and
all his vision issues were gone.


I had my daughter evaluated when she was 6 or maybe 7 because I
heard that the vision problems could be hereditary. Since our
therapist knew I wasn't concerned about early reading she
suggested exercises to improve focus (and other things but I
can't remember what they were either – sorry) but not to push.



<<<<< Now, though, it feels like it is all going down the tubes
because we have to get certain things done everyday - and the
activities are challenging for him, and sometimes not all that fun.
We have to do basically 4 activities for 8 minutes a peice. What
should take a little over half an hour takes us what feels like
forever! He is miserable and doesn't want to do anything now. >>>>>

Yup – that is exactly what happened here. The exercises lasted
about 3 days. We never did them again.

Madelyn had two or three evaluations about a year apart and each
showed improvement. The last one, when she was maybe 11 or 12,
showed that she had no vision problems. The vision therapist had
suggested that she would probably outgrow the problems and she did.


<<<<< This is really frustrating because if we don't do the Vision
Therapy, he may never be able to see normally. >>>>>

Maybe you could let it go for a year and have him evaluated again.
If you don't feel comfortable with that or if your son is
expressing distress about his vision, at least get a second opinion
from a therapist who understands that reading at 6 and doing
schoolwork aren't top priorities for you.

Mercedes
who just read this response to Madelyn and she says it was alot
longer than three days :-(